Chapter Seven

Of all the possible scenarios the small group expected to walk in on, this was not one of them. Not even close.

Not even if someone had told them.

Honestly, all they could do was stand there in absolute confusion. Well confusion and anger in Hermione's case. Next to Hermione, Sally could only stare at the blushing bathroom occupant in wide eyed shock. Fred wasn't standing at all. He was too busy rolling on the ground laughing hysterically. He would undoubtedly suffocate soon from the lack of air but his passing would probably have gone completely unnoticed. In a corner of the hallway an incredibly smug kneazle sat licking it's paw.

George finally broke the silence, "I really wish I could say this isn't what it looks like, but to be frank I really don't actually know what this looks like."

Hermione didn't say anything. Whether she could not or would not was debatable.

"Right then…" George ran a hand through his hair and awkwardly set down the paint brush like object in his hand on the counter. "So, Crookshanks got fed, keys are on the counter and I'll uh…I'll just be going… Yeah. Sorry again about the curtain…"

George slinked past Hermione and Sally, both of who had yet to move or spoke, and out of the bathroom. He quickly snatched up his wand and pointed it at Fred and muttered a levitating spell. The later, still incapacitated by his laughter, rose a few feet in the air and floated behind his brother. With a threatening glare towards the demonic cat, George left the flat as quickly as he possibly could. He also may have let Fred hit his head on a wall or three on the way out.

"Sally?"

"Yes, M'am?"

"Alcohol. Lots of it. Now."

"Yes, M'am."

…

"So… so let me get this straight?" Fred said, as he and George walked back to the Apparateing point. He promised to stop laughing in exchange for being put down, though he wasn't keeping his end of the promise very well. "First, you let yourself get disarmed by a small fluffy creature…"

"That thing is not small!" George protested.

Fred ignored him, "Then you let said fluffy creature trap you in a loo for nine hours. Because you of course wouldn't have survived tacking your wand back from a pet cat maybe one eighth your size…"

"Do you not see the bandages?"

"And then you decide to entertain yourself during this time by bathing and lighting her shower curtain on fire…"

"You know I shouldn't be left alone with matches."

"But!" Fred was trying very hard at this point to keep the laughter out of his voice but it just wasn't working. "That wasn't enough so you start reorganizing everything in her cupboards."

"A woman like that probably appreciates a man who can alphabetize!"

"What I'm trying to figure out is that where…" Fred was no longer bothering to try and not laughing. "Exactly in this whole little adventure of yours did you decide that you were bored enough to start trying on her make-up?"

"Nine Hours, Fred!"

"So you've said," Fred grinned as they reached the Apparating point. "I suppose my next question is going to be how many times are you willing to watch little Freddie this year in exchange for me NOT telling Percy about all this?"

George glared darkly at his twin, "You tell Percy about this and I will adopt little Freddie because I'll have murdered you and married his mother."

"Angie would never marry you," Fred scoffed.

"I've been told I do a great impersonation of you. They'll never know."

Fred laughed out loud again, "Sorry, Mate, but threatening me while you're wearing lipstick and mascara does not make me take you seriously."

George muttered a foul swear word and rubbed his lips on the back on his sleeve.

"You missed some."

"Shut up, Fred."

…

Sally quickly ushered a shell shocked Hermione to the sofa. Sitting her down Sally dashed to the kitchen. She returned promptly with a bottle of wine in one hand and two glasses in the other. Miss Granger wasn't the only one who needed a drink after that.

The blond poured some wine in each glass before holding one out to her boss. The bushy haired witch shook her head but instead grabbed the bottle from the coffee table and took a long hard drink. Sally sighed and toasted the air before finishing one of the glasses in a single gulp. She sat there gingerly sipping at the second one while waiting for Hermione resurfaced from the wine bottle itself. When she finally did, the at loss for words woman flopped back against the sofa while rubbing her eyes.

"Sally, call whatever restaurant you want and order the whole bloody menu. Put it on my account," she said. "If that was a foreshadow of the next few weeks it is the least I can do for you."

"It could have been worse, you know," Sally said as she set the empty glass on the coffee table and picked up the phone next to it.

"How could that have possibly been worse?" Hermione asked as she raised the bottle back to her lips.

"Could have found him prancing about in your knickers instead of your lipstick," Sally replied as she started dialing a number.

Hermione visibly twitched and began to chug.

TBC

A/N: Short and sweet because that is all I have had the energy for today. I've been horribly sick. Not fun. Anyway you know what to do! R&R! Love!

~Chupip