I really had intended for this to be a one shot, but I got a couple of requests for a second chapter. The first was from ShellBell78 who asked for Joe's reaction. The second was from Margaret, who really wanted them to get married. I decided to do it in a Joe POV. Of course, that means that it will be rude and there will be foul language, that's just the way I think that Joe thinks.

Week 1

I sat down on my couch and picked up the remote for the TV. I was immediately joined by my dog Bob, who was probably waiting for me to give him some of my meatball sub. After we both ate, we settled in with a beer for me and watched the game. About halfway through, I started talking to my dog. "What the hell, Bob? Stephanie should be here watching the game with us. I called her, but she's been ignoring me for the last three months."

Bob wisely didn't say anything, so I continued. "We were sitting right here on the couch when she told me that she couldn't do this anymore. Do what? Have a nice meal and fool around? We've been doing that forever. No, she can't keep going back and forth. I told her to move in with me and stop going back. Do you think that she would listen to me? Of course not. She tells me that she owes it to herself to figure out what she really wants. Ha! The only thing that woman really wants is a good shoe sale at Macy's. It doesn't matter, though, she'll be back. Maybe I'll propose when she does. We really need to settle down if we're going to have kids, she ain't getting any younger. Of course, I can't actually say that to her, she'd probably overreact."

Bob lifted his head and looked at me. "Yeah, I know. She's probably heard that I've been seeing other women, but so what? She's the one that dumped me, does she honestly expect me to be celibate?"

After the game, Bob and I went to bed alone. She'll be back, she can't stay away from me forever.

Week 2

I dropped half a meatball sub into Bob's food dish. I didn't really feel much like eating. I sat at the table while Bob made short work of my dinner. "Well, Bob, That asshole came back to Trenton a couple of days ago, and I haven't seen Stephanie since. It really burns my ass how he'll come rolling into town in his Porsche, crook his finger at her, and she goes running to him. Who knows, maybe this time I won't take her back. Let's see how she likes it when I take my sweet-assed time." Bob looked up from his dish. I don't think he was impressed. "Yeah? Well your boys have been in a jar in the Vet's office for years, what do you know about women?"

The truth is, I know Stephanie is the woman for me. I've known it since she was 16 and I nailed her behind the elcair case at the Tasty Pastry. I shouted her name to the rooftops that night. Believe me, acknowledging a woman in print is the ultimate praise from a Morelli man. She was mine, and I wanted everyone to know it.

When I got back from the Navy, she showed me her appreciation by running me over with her father's Buick. You'd think she didn't appreciate the advertisement. You gotta admire her though, she's feisty.

Week 3

I grabbed a beer from my fridge and slammed the door shut. Bob looked up at me from where he was laying in a patch of sunlight. "Son of a bitch, Bob," I said as I opened the bottle and took a long pull. "Stephanie finally showed back up at work today, after she and that bastard holed up together for a week. I swung by the bonds office and stuck my head in just in time to see Lula start jumping up and down and squealing like a pig. She was bouncing so hard that her tits came right out of her top." I shuddered, and Bob dropped his head and closed his eyes. "You're preaching to the choir, Bob, it was horrible. Anyway, they were carrying on about the rock he gave her. You should have seen the size of that thing. I would have to mortgage the house to buy her a diamond that big. I bet you he got some butt stuff when he gave her that."

Stephanie was somewhat adventurous in the bedroom, but she may as well have hung a No Entry sign above the back door. Even when we played Mr & Mrs Rover, you couldn't stick it to her and tell her you slipped. Fuck it. I grabbed another beer. "Just you wait and see, Bob. She'll blow up another of his cars and he'll get tired of her crap. Then I'll be the one getting the butt stuff before I take her back."

Week 4

I was getting ready for my date with Terri and talking to Bob as he laid in the hallway. "I don't think he's going to get rid of her anytime soon, Bob. Her old piece of crap Toyota Corolla blew up yesterday. Today she was driving around in a brand new black Jeep Cherokee that he bought her as an engagement present. Those old busybodies from the neighborhood were practically lined up around the block to make sure I knew. I talked to my friend Ralph at the dealership. He told me that it was a custom order rush job. Armor plated, bullet proof glass, hell, it'll take a direct hit from an RPG (rocket propelled grenade) and keep going. The sad part is that the Burg Grapevine thinks it's romantic. Do you believe that Bob? It's Romantic that he has to buy her an armored vehicle to keep her from blowing his shit up."

I walked downstairs and filled Bob's bowl with kibble. "You behave yourself, Bob, and hopefully I'll see you tomorrow."

Week 5

"Bob, you would not believe how crazy the gossip gets once the Grapevine is in full swing." I was once again sitting on the couch with Bob, watching the Mets get their asses handed to them. We were both already filled with meatball subs and feeling mellow. "All of those old bats seem to take a perverse amount of pleasure in trying to be the first to bring me new gossip. The funny part is that one of them will tell me that they heard from Mrs. Bestler who heard from Mrs. Plum that Stephanie and Ranger have decided on a long engagement, and the next one will tell me that they heard from Bitsy Durham who heard from Edna Mazur that they are getting married tomorrow. Do they really think I want to hear about her being engaged to that asshole? My mom has been bringing me food again, Bob. I think she's afraid I'm going to sink into an alcohol fuelled depression. She doesn't know Steph like I know her. She'll be back, Bob. She always comes back."

After the game, I picked my way through the room and headed upstairs to bed. There were a lot of pizza boxes and random crap in the living room. Maybe tomorrow I'll let Ma come in and tidy up the place. She loves taking care of me, I'm her baby.

Week 6

I walked downstairs on Saturday morning wearing sweats and carrying Bob's leash. "Come on, Bob, time to go for a jog. All that pizza's going straight to your ass." Bob raced to the door and started jumping in circles. The truth was that I needed the jog. I was feeling like the walls were closing in on me, and I needed to get out.

We were jogging down Chestnut Ave towards Columbus Park. I noticed that the parking lot for the New Hope church was packed solid. I idly wondered if someone was getting shackled or planted when I realized that there was an inordinate number of black SUV's there. "Oh, hell no," I said to Bob. "There is no damn way he got her to agree to get married this soon."

We jogged around the corner to the front of the church. Parked by the doors was an enormous stretch Hummer. That vehicle was so Ranger that I felt like I was going to be sick. I tied Bob to the railing in front of the door and slipped inside. I stood in the vestibule, struck immobile by her beauty. She was wearing a simple, fitted, white mermaid style gown. Her hair was in loose curls framing her face with a veil woven in. The only thing wrong with this picture was the fact that I was in sweatpants at the other end of the church.

The moment was broken when she leaned in and kissed Ranger. I never even heard the priest say "Husband and Wife". All I knew was that I had to stop this from happening. I ran down the aisle yelling, "Cupcake! I object!" Before I could get to the couple, I was stopped by a sea of black. Not willing to be deterred, I shouted, "Cupcake, what the hell is going on here?"

The men parted and she was standing right in front of me. Instead of looking relieved to see me, she looked pissed as hell. "Joe, what are you doing here?"

"You can't be serious about marrying him, cupcake. He's a psycho. You know we're supposed to be together. I thought he might be making you do this against your will."

Ranger's jaw was clenched. He ground out, "Morelli, you're entitled to your opinion, but this is my wedding. Do not upset my wife."

"Your wife? She's mine. She's always been mine, and she'll always be mine."

Stephanie treated me to the Burg death glare. "Joe, I am in love with Ranger. You and I broke up. I told you that I was done wasting my life going back and forth. I don't belong to you."

I snorted. "And you think he's going to treat you right? Good luck with that. Don't come crawling back to me when he gets bored with you and passes you off to one of these losers."

o0()0o

I bolted upright and looked around. I wasn't in a church, I was in bed, but it was too dark to see. That was some dream, though. I could still feel the searing pain from where Ranger punched me in the jaw. I reached for my nightstand to turn on the light and look around for Bob. I realized that something was wrong when I almost fell off the bed. My nightstand wasn't where it was supposed to be. Where the hell was I?

The door to my room opened and a woman turned on a single light. "Oh good, you're awake, Mr Morelli, we were starting to worry about you." What the hell? She was dressed like a nurse. I looked around in the dim light and realized that I was in a hospital room. I reached up and touched the thick dressing on my face. The nurse took my hand and lowered it. "Please be careful, Mr Morelli, your jaw had to be wired shut." She started to ramble on about what I could and couldn't do, but I wasn't listening. It was real. The whole thing was real.

I closed my eyes and willed myself back to sleep. In my dream I was back on the couch watching the game with Bob. I rubbed his head and sadly said, "It looks like it's just you and me, Bob."

Maybe it was the pain meds and maybe it was the fact that I now knew this was a dream, but I swear Bob rolled his eyes before dropping his head back on his paws and muttered, "Dumbass."

A/N - When I wrote the wedding scene out, I was picturing it as kind of Shrek meets The Graduate (You know, an Ogre who gets to the wedding after the ceremony is already over) Unfortunately for Joe and unlike both of those movies, he didn't get the girl... Too bad, so sad...