A/N All your reviews have been so wonderful and sweet that I really want to try and get into a regular update pattern. I've finally finished school so that isn't going to get in the way anymore! But thank you so much for all the support and your reviews, even just reading the story means a lot to me. Also, I kept this chapter as short as the rest, because I want to find out what you all think about the direction of the story. Should I add in the events of season 4? I think they would fit nicely, unless you'd rather i make it completely original. I'm also considering making this eventual Johnlock, so I would like to hear what you would think of that?

But enough blabbing, hope you enjoy :)

Sherlock Holmes, was a man of many words. He always had something to say, no matter how harsh and critical, in every situation. But currently, he was entirely speechless. The fact that he had no one to talk to was entirely beside the point, seeing as it rarely stopped him anyway. He stared, unmoving, hardly blinking, at the little baby in the cot amongst all the other newborns. She was so small, so precious that sherlock had a hard time clasping that she could have come from such a tragedy. In fact, the only reason he hadn't deleted that knowledge entirely was that he knew he was going to be the one to tell john. He wasn't going to let the doctors do it. After the sacrifice John had made, he deserved better. And as much as sherlock tried to block it all from his mind, the fragmented bits of the conversation he'd actually taken in came back.

"Hemorrhaging"

"Bleeding internal"

"I'm sorry Mr Holmes"

"One last request"

"Rosie"

Sherlock swallowed hard, sucking in a small breath and turned away from the window, his feet automatically taking him along the well worn path to John's room. The man was stable again, but sherlock couldn't help but think things weren't going to get better for the man once he woke, now a father, and a widow.

It hit sherlock painfully, that he'd failed. With John out of action he should have, more than ever, been there to keep his vow to mary. He should have stopped by more, instead of staying at the hospital. He should have gone to her instead of John because there was nothing he could have done for the man but maybe being there to help mary through her labour, maybe being there before it had even started….

He let out a sound of frustration, picking his violin up from it's stand. He'd been playing more and more for John lately, hoping that maybe, somehow John could hear it. Be comforted or, better still, come back to him. So he started playing. Pouring every emotion he had into it and losing himself to the music. Playing for Mary, who would never see her daughter grow up, For Rosie who now had to live without her mother, who hadn't even been held by someone who loved her because sherlock refused to hold her before John had. It was only right. And, he played for john who had made the ultimate sacrifice to save his family, only to wake up and find out it had been torn away.

He lost himself so much, that he didn't notice when John's finger twitched. Not the spike in the heart monitor or the slow breath in, but when John groaned softly, those blue-grey eyes finally opening, the bow fell from Sherlock's hand, the violin back on the stand in an instant, and sherlock was at John's bed just as quick. "John?" Sherlock breathed, hardly even daring to believe that the man was finally waking up. But he couldn't deny what he saw, watching as John blinked heavily, eyes glazed and drifting to sherlock, trying to focus on him. In not time, nurses were in the room, removing the tube from John's throat, checking his vitals and the feeling in his body, before leaving the two of them alone, a nasal cannula replacing the tube.

"Sh'lock" John rasped slowly, voice rough and pained from not being used, scratchy and hoarse as it came out. He winced slightly, swallowing a few times but his mouth was dry as sandpaper.

"Here" sherlock said with an uncharacteristic gentleness to his voice, as he held a spoonful of the crushed ice on the bedside table to his lips, and then another when he was done with the first.

"How are you feeling?" Sherlock asked softly, putting the ice down, concerned eyes meeting John's, once again surprising the doctor.

"Like crap" John rasped, eyes crinkling up in a slight smile, and sherlock returned the smile, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. In fact, a stab of horrible pain and guilt went through him, remembering the last time he'd heard those words had been from mary just before…

He swallowed hard, schooling his emotions and face, adjusting John's sheets in a rather endearing way, had he not been doing it to avoid looking at John.

"You should rest, You've been unconscious for two days and we have a lot to talk about" he said, standing back up, but of course, John would never let it go that easily, because he'd noticed that one very important person to him was missing, and right now he needed to see her. Needed to see that despite his own condition, her and the baby she carried were ok.

"Sherlock, where's mary?" He asked hoarsely, and sherlock felt his heart plummet. He didn't want to have this conversation, regardless of his early thoughts, and knowing that he was going to be the one to tell John, and in fact the reason this all happened in the first place, instead of making him feel bad, which it did of course, it made him shut down. He switched off his emotions, made sure his face remained blank, and sat down by John's bed.

"There were….complications with the pregnancy" he started, his voice sounding no where near as confident as he intended. Still soft, gentle. He didn't want to see the look on John's face when he finally broke the news, but already the man's eyes were widening in shock.

"She gave birth while you were unconscious" He added, putting off the news as long as he could, but once again e could see in John's eyes that the man new he was about to give him bad news. Though John had no idea just how bad it really was.

"John...the baby is ok. She's safe and healthy, and the nurses are taking care of her but...I'm sorry, Mary didn't make it" He finished quietly.