Sorry - it's been a while, but we're back!
John is in italics
Sherlock is in Bold
xXx
"Help! I'm in trouble! I need you!"
"For God's sake Sherlock! What now? I'm halfway across London chasing after Lard arse!"
"Sorry - bloody autocorrect - that should have read chasing after Lestrade"
"Well ever since he started dating my brother he has put on 4 pounds. So it is appropriate. But John! I need you to come home! I have an injury."
"Shit! Are you bleeding? What have you done? Do I need to call an ambulance?"
"Oi! Did you say dating your brother? Since when?"
"I cut myself shaving and it hurts! Please come and fix it."
"As ever you fail to observe. They have been dating for about 6 weeks now. I accidentally received a text from Lestrade meant for Mycroft. It may have mentioned canoodling. Disgusting."
"Canoodling? ^*) They're old enough to know better."
"Right. I've asked the cabby to bring me home; I'll text Greg to tell him he's on his own. Where are you cut?"
"Well I was rather nauseated by the whole thing."
"I'd rather not say."
"You'd rather not... what on earth were you... oh! Are you still bleeding?"
"Yes I am. And it stings. Hurry, John!"
"If I were a vampire, I could lick it better. Would you like that?"
"Well, that was sort of the plan. I mean where I shaved. Do you remember the last time you know…? And you complained about excess hair? Well there. I thought it would be a surprise. And I hear it is appealing. And more sensitive. So I gave it a try. But it hurts, John."
"I know love, I'll be there soon. While you wait, wipe any soap or shaving foam away with a damp cloth, then lay on the couch, and when I get in I'll lick it better, kissing over every inch of the affected area, sucking out any discharge..."
"That is not helping, John. I am becoming very aroused at the thought of you kneeling in front of me and wiping off the blood and then slowly licking away any remaining traces. Hurry! It's pulling!"
"Shh, I'm just at the end of Baker Street, I'll be there any second and..."
"And then you'll take care of me?"
"And by take care of me…"
"Oh yes! Definitely!"