AN: Decided to give you little bit more backstory about Callie's life in foster care.

WARNING! - suicide is mentioned in this chapter. Please, read with cautions!

Callie POV

March 27th

I was laid down on the couch. The TV was on, Amy was watching it. The news were on, but I wasn't paying any attention to it. I was staring up the ceiling. My head rested in Amy's lap, but my knees were bent. Some little while ago, Amy started running her fingers through my hair, stroking it, massaging my scalp. I wasn't completely certain, but it kind of felt like she did it out habit. Most likely she used to do the same thing for Aaron or Markus, whenever one of them would lay like this, with their heads in her lap. Her attention was fully on the TV screen, but her hand, her fingers kept repeating the same action over and over again.

If I hadn't been so overwhelmed with everything that has been going on, it might have even lullaby me to sleep. But I couldn't make my mind stop racing. The Liam trail was coming closer with every day. It was going to be held on April 10th, only two weeks from today.

I still hadn't figured out, how I want to play it. Go with the truth and watch Liam walk away or lie in order for him to be sentenced for one year in jail, because of a formality in the law. I had to chose a lesser of two evils.

"What would you do?" I asked Amy, when I realized that wanted to hear her opinion about it as well. Amy has talked to me about it multiple times, but not once has she told me, what she thinks about it.

"Huh?" she hummed back looking down to me "What would I do when?" Amy looked a bit confused about my question

"With the Liam case. If you were in my place, what would you do?" After I had asked her that, I no longer felt her fingers going through my hair

"I can't answer that, honey," Amy replied in a gentle tone gazing down to me

I sat up on the couch and scooted over to the free end of the couch, that way making a distance between us. My legs was crossed underneath me, my lower back was pressed against the pillows.

"Why not?" I questioned back "Just pick one - either tell the truth or lie!" When concluded like that, the choice didn't seem that hard. Every person with honor and who is honest, would most likely go with the truth.

"I really can't," Amy shook her head lightly "It's not that simple,"

"Then why are you making me chose!?" I asked in much meaner tone, upset that she was forcing me to decide. It felt unfair.

"Because, it would be worse, if I or someone else made the decision for you!" Amy explained calmly as she turned her torso towards me a bit more. Her left arm now rested on the top of the couch backrest

"It has to be you, who decided, because it affects your life! Liam already forced you do something you didn't want. If I make the decision for you, forcing you to go with either one of the options, forcing my opinion on you - I wouldn't be any better than Liam! You need to have a say in your own life!" Amy pressed her right index finger to my chest gently and stated loud and clear "You are in control of your own life. No one else, but you!"

"But...I just want to know your opinion," I reasoned back, hint of desperation was heard in my voice. The question has been bugging me for days and I can't make up my mind. Right now, I hoped someone would just tell me, what to do. I would do the right thing, if I would know, what it was.

"I don't want my opinion affecting your decisions," Amy answered with honestly. Without a doubt, she had her opinion about what I should do. But it also seemed like, she won't share it with me. Ever.

"It won't!" I tried to persuade her and then begged her "Please, just tell me what I should do!"

"All you need to know," Amy reached for my hand "Is that whatever you decide – I'm going to support you one hundredth percent!"

She gave my hand a little pull, that way asking me to lay my head back on her lap. I comply, keen to feel her hand going though my hair once again and massaging my scalp. Once my head was back on her lap, Amy resumed to run her fingers through my hair.

I thought back to few days ago, when she talked to me about me seeing a psychologist.

Amy had thought that I should see one, because of my nightmares, my trauma and the upcoming trail. She said it would be good for me to talk to someone about it. I hadn't fought against it, mostly, because I want the nightmares to end. There was no question about it – I haven't dealt with what Liam did to me. I simply buried it and pretended that it never happened. My solutions, wasn't working. And with the upcoming trail, it felt like the nightmares kept getting more and more intense.

But that wasn't the only reason I agreed with much resistant. If it had been anyone else or if Amy had made this appointment, back when we first met – I wouldn't be so willing. I have reached a point with Amy, where I can say that – I trust her. Back, when I first met Amy, I would probably question, why she was making me do this, thinking that underneath it, there was some kind of scheme, that would end up hurting me.

What Amy said minute ago, that I'm in control of my life - made me a bit confused. I saw it as contradiction. With the Liam trial – I was in control about the decision if I wanted to go to trial and what I would say, but I didn't have almost any say about the appointment with the psychologist she made. Amy did say, that if I wouldn't feel comfortable with the therapist, that she would find someone that I did like and feel comfortable with. Other than that, I don't have any say about me going.

"I'm in control of my life?" I asked looking up to her, while picking my own fingernails

Amy glanced down to me and stated "Yes, you are!" her features told me that she was curious as to where I'm going with this question, but she didn't voice her thoughts

"So...the other day, when you told me that you made me an appointment with a physiologist, shouldn't I have more say in whether or not I want to go?"

"That's different," Amy replied

"How so?" I screwed up my face a little

"I'm your parent – I'm responsible for you. As your parent, I need to make sure you are healthy. Physically and mentally," Amy expalined as she continued to run her fingers through my hair "I didn't make that appointment for you to hurt you, Callie! You may not see it now, but I'm doing what is best for you! I'm trying to help you, so you would deal with..." Amy sighed deeply "...everything that has happened to you, the proper way!"

As I thought about, what Amy had said, I remembered one of my previous foster home. Thinking back to the time there, I couldn't help but to wonder, if Amy had been the foster parent back then, would certain event could have been avoided.

I sat up again. This time, I sat right next to Amy, not further away from her. Our upper arms and legs touched.

"What's on your mind?" Amy coaxed softly

I turned my head to face her and asked her warily "Can I tell you something?" Amy quickly grabbed the remote and turned off the TV so it doesn't disturb us.

"Always!" Amy replied as she gripped my right hand "I'm listening,"

"It was my fourth foster home. I lived there for few months since September in 2009 till the end of January in 2010," I started off "The foster parents – Anna and James Rask – were Ok people. They pretty much ignored us, but at least they didn't abuse us," as I spoke, time by time I looked up to Amy, to see if she was listening to me

"Us?" Amy quickly interrupted

"Oh, uh...there were 3 other kids living there. One was their bio kid. Annie - she was a spoiled brat. Barely talked to me, but when she did – she was quite mean to me, to us," I explained "And the other two were foster kids, like me. They were both older than me. Gavin was uh, 16 at that time and Margaret was 17. Both of them were really nice. We were friends. Looked out for one another," I shrugged my shoulders a little, not knowing what else to add to that information

"Gavin and Margaret sound nice," Amy smiled at me "Have you talked or seen them since?"

"No. Well...this was what I sort of wanted to tell you,"

"Oh. Sorry I interrupted. Go ahead,"

On January 26th Margaret and I were walking down the street, heading back to our foster home. It was some 20 minute walk from school to the house. I always were more happy to walk with either Gavin or Margaret. Alone the road seemed so much longer. Besides, I felt safer with either one of them was with me. I was still only 12 after all.

"Here," Margaret said handing me the red and black yarn braided wrist band, when we were only one block away from our foster home

I took the band from her, but looked up to her confused "Why are you giving me this? It's yours," I answered as I tried to give it back to her

"I want you to have it," she smiled at me and pushed my hand gently back to me. This was the first time that I saw Margaret smile. She was always so down and sad. Margaret was heavily depressed and lived with survivors guilt as she was the only one of her family, that survived the car crash.

"Really?" I questioned, still not too convinced I should take it. I had never seen her without it. If I remember correctly, she made it together with her mom, few months before her whole family except for her died in a car crash. Her mother had had an identical one.

"Yeah. It will look cool on you. Try it on," she nudged me. With her permission, I wiggled my right palm through it "See, it loos great!"

"It does!" I smiled as I had extended my arm out to have a better look at my new accessory "Thanks!"

"I'm glad you like it," Margaret replied sounding very genuine

"There you two are!" Gavin called out, when we were walking across the front yard. He was sitting on the front steps, smoking a joint

"Missed us?" Margaret teased, when he handed her the joint

"Sure did," he stood up and brushed dust off his back of the jeans "You have the stupid house key. Unlock the doors, will you?"

The Rasks gave us one house key to all three of us. Margaret always carried it, because I didn't want to. I was afraid to lose it. But Gavin wandered around the city a lot, hanging out with a local gang and most of the time he returned to the house late at night. Today was an exception. Though, he did skip school again.

Our foster parents will be home later tonight. They have dinner with some friends in an restaurant. But Annie, the bio kid, was most likely at the mall with her friend or sitting in cafe talking about upcoming parties that they can't miss.

Margaret took another smoke before handing Gavin back his joint. Then she dug in her backpack and got the key. Couple of seconds later, we were all in the house. We all went to our rooms and did whatever each of us always did.

By the time it was 8, everyone was home. The house was full. But us, the foster kids, minded our business and stayed in our rooms, not to disturb the family.

That night, I went to sleep around 10. Not that I fell asleep right away. Margaret remained up. I heard her walk around the room for a while, she made a lot of noise. But with me facing the wall and my blanket over my head, I didn't see what she was doing. I counted sheep in my mind and tried to fall asleep.

When I had woken up feeling the urge to pee, the clock on the nightstand showed that it was little over midnight. I tossed my blanket away and turned on the lamp on my nightstand. Looking over to Margret's bed, I was surprised to see it empty. It was neatly made. She had cleaned up her part of the room. I found it strange, but didn't think about it any longer. I was assuming that she was in Gavin's room, smoking another joint with him.

I made my way out of the room and headed towards the upstairs bathroom. There was no light coming from underneath Gavin's, the master bedroom or Annie's room. But there was light coming from underneath the bathroom door.

I reached for the door nub, expecting it to not turn, because it would be locked. To my surprise, it clicked and turned. When I pushed the doors open, I saw something that I would never imagine I would see.

Margaret was lying in the bathtub in only her underwear. She was lying in bath, that was filling up with her blood. There was blood still dripping down her slit wrists. Her wrists were covered in her blood. Her eyes were open, but there was no sign of life in them. Her chest wasn't raising and falling, because I don't think she was breathing. Margaret looked pale as the hospital sheets.

The moment the initial shock passed, I ran towards her shouting out "Help!"

I dropped to my knees by the bath tub and tried to stop the bleeding by putting pressure on the wounds on her wrists with my hands. The cut was too long, I couldn't cover it with my palm.

"Someone! Help!" I screamed out again, this time in more panic

I heard doors opening in the hallway, so I yelled out again "In here! Please, help!"

I looked over my shoulder to the door, when I heard someone run in. Gavin stood there, with shock expression as he looked at Margaret.

"Margaret..." Gavin whispered out, right before our foster father barged in the bathroom

"Anna, call 911!" James shouted out as he ran to the bath as well and tried to help. He grabbed a towel and wrapped it around one of her wrists.

But it was too late...

"Oh my gosh," Amy breathed out after I had told the story "You found her?" she asked still too shocked to say anything else

I nodded my head back slowly few times. Amy's face dropped even more. She placed her left hand over her mouth as she tried to wrap the news around her head.

"Margaret left a suicide letter," I added "It was on her bed…I found it after...when I returned to our room," My voice got quieter with every word

"What did it say?"

"That she couldn't take the pain anymore. She wanted to be with her family," I explained. Amy still looked too struck to by the story. "Gavin ran away that same night. He asked me to come with. But I didn't. He had been hanging out with a local gang and they took him in,"

"When you said that, you are trying to help me, that you made that appointment, so I could deal with everything that has happened - I remembered Margaret. Gavin and I both saw how depressed she was. She was living with survivors guilt," I continued trying to explain, why I had told Amy the story "If Margaret had someone like you in her life, maybe she wouldn't have killed herself. You could have helped her, like you are helping me. But neither Anna, nor James cared enough about us to help her deal with it. I doubt they even knew, why Margaret was in foster care," I detained a little pause, to get the courage to say what was on my mind

I swallowed hard and looked right to Amy's eyes, which were teary "Thank you!" my mouth suddenly got real dry "For caring about me and for looking out for me. I want you to know, that I appreciate everything that you are doing for me,"

"Oh, honey," Amy breathed out, with her free hand she gently caressed my cheek "You don't have to thank me,"

"I feel like I do," I replied "I feel lucky, because I have you in my life. If it wasn't for you, I would probably be back in the juvenile detention by now,"

"I'm the lucky one, Callie!" Amy replied as she ran her fingers smoothly trough the strand of my hair by my hairline "You bring me so much joy and happiness. You make my life better. I can't imagine my life without you!" Amy added, making me tear up as well "Come here, love," she said pulling me in a tight hug

I had been in Amy's embrace for only couple of seconds, when Amy pulled away and placed her hands on both side of my neck "If you ever feel suicidal-"

"I don't," I replied quickly, putting her mind at ease

"But if you do," Amy continued, staring directly to my eyes, her look was fierce and intense, "Please, come to me! I'm here for you...whatever you need! We can get through anything, if we stick together!"

"I will," I promised her and actually meant it. Amy studied me for few seconds, before she pulled me back in an embrace.