AN: I'm sorry it took me so long. Not that you care, but on the bright side, I just got my Master degree :) Freedom feels awesome!
Callie POV
April 13th
I was standing in the backstage, peaking pass the curtain to the auditorium. 20 minutes ago the hall was empty, but now, it was full with people, mostly parents. On the third row I saw a man, holding up a camera, checking to see if everything was working correctly so he could record his kids performance. Others were reading the events booklets to see what time their kids would perform. There was loud chatter coming from auditorium.
I was trying to see Amy there. But from where I stood, I could only see one half of the hall. And in the right side of the auditorium I did not see her. Amy said she would come, but that was in the morning. I was really hoping that she would come, after all, I wrote the original song for her. It would be a waste of time, if I play it, but she would not be here hear it.
Teachers, the ones who were going to judge the students, were sitting at the table in first row. They had papers in front of them, some had even files. They all looked so serious and firm. Just thinking about how these professionals will judge me, gave me heart palpitations and made me sweat nervously. When I saw the Music School director sit down at the judges table, I felt my stomach turn and act up. For a moment, I had a feeling I could throw up.
I turned around and walked to the backstage, far away from the stage and audience.
"Nervous?" I heard Brandon's voice coming from my right. Turning toward my right, I saw Brandon walking up to me. He was dressed up.
"A little," I replied picking up the guitar I was going to play on
"You look like you could throw up any minute," He said with a chuckle. I glanced to him, but didn't answer him, hoping my look would show him that I didn't need for him to tell me that.
"Relax. It's not so horrible,"
"Easy for you to say," I said sitting down and putting the guitar over my knee "You sit by a piano and don't even see the audience...or the judges. And you have done this before," I moved my fingers over the strings feeling them
"Is this your first time performing on stage?" I nodded my head back without looking up from the guitar
"Well, then I can see why you are so nervous," He smiled sadly "But like I said, it's not so horrible. Once you get on the stage, forget about the judges or the audience. Imagine that it's you out there. Maybe performing to your mom..."
Brandon continued to give me a pep talk, but I no longer listened to him. I looked up to him, but only saw his mouth move. When he told me to picture performing to my mom, my moms face was the one that I saw. I thought of Amy. This was the first time, I thought of Amy as my mom. I wasn't sure what it meant, which is why it scared me so much.
Amy POV
Stef and I got to the Music school just in time. We found two empty seats around the middle of the auditorium, on the outside near the isle. The performances started with the youngest group. It went by pretty fast, the event was neatly organized. There weren't big pauses, lot of talking about no real reasons. Kid came up to stage, they didn't do any introductions, because the host did that. Once they played their song, they left the stage and the next kid was introduced.
By the time the 3rd age group were performing, Stef managed to get the event booklet from the woman, who sat next to her.
"Looks like we're about halfway in," Stef whispered to me pointing to the event planner. I peaked a look at the booklet and saw that the next age group was the one Callie and Brandon were in. After that it was 16+, but the event will end with the original songs.
The next kid was asked to the stage, so I looked away from the booklet that Stef was holding to see and hear the next kids performance.
"I didn't know Callie was playing an original song," I heard Stef say quietly
"What? No...she isn't," I looked at her. As far as I knew, she wasn't. Callie only told me that she will be playing in her own age group. I figured Stef had mixed up the surnames.
"Callie's name is on the original song list," Stef showed me the booklet, pointing her finger to Callie's name. I grabbed the booklet from Stef's hand and looked at it myself. There it was. Few rows lower than Brandon Foster name was Callie's.
"By the look on your face, I'm going to guess and say that you didn't know,"
I was still staring down at Callie's name, surprised to see it on the list. I had no idea that she wrote her own song. She was reluctant to first participate at this event in the first place. But now, I find out she will step on the stage two times. I'm a little saddened that she didn't tell me, but I was extremely excited to hear it, not to mention proud.
Lost boy - the songs name gave me no indication as to what the song could be about.
"Hadn't you heard her practicing at home?" Stef asked
"She doesn't have a guitar at home," I said quietly, still looking at her name on the list
"I think it's about time you buy her one,"
I looked up to Stef and nodding my head I agreed "I'm going to buy her one," I raised the brochure up "I didn't know she...wrote songs. I had no idea,"
Stef grinned at me "Kids always surprise you, don't they?"
"Yeah," I averted my eyes back to Callie's name "That they do," A slow smile spread across my lips
It was about 40 minutes later, when Callie stepped on the stage the first time. She looked scared and nervous, probably stage fright. This was the first time she would perform a song for an audience. I was nervous for her. My heart beat faster, my palms even got sweaty.
When Callie sat on the stool, she looked out to the audience and judges. Callie shifted in the seat and got comfortable, setting the guitar over her knee. The moment she played the first chord, I could see how she got more relaxed.
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters
Never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
But I know
I never opened myself this way
Life is ours, we live it our way
All these words I don't just say
And nothing else matters
Trust I seek and I find in you
Every day for us something new
Open mind for a different view
And nothing else matters
Never cared for what they say
Never cared for games they play
Never cared for what they do
Never cared for what they know
And I know
So close no matter how far
Couldn't be much more from the heart
Forever trusting who we are
No nothing else matters
To me, she played the song perfectly. I'm sure the judges, other students, teaches – heard the flaws, where she played a chord wrong, didn't sing it correctly, like she should have. I watched and listened to her play in awe. I have never been more proud of her like I was right now. At the end, I even got a little teary eyed.
"Sounded good," Stef said smiling widely "How long has she been playing?"
"Not long. Some 3 months," I answered, watching how Callie walked off the stage
Callie POV
It was time. Christa Hendrix, who plays cello, picked up her cello and walked towards the backstage.
"Please welcome our next contestant – Callie Jacob!" the host called out my name
"Good luck," Christa Hendrix told me as she walked pass me, struggling to carry her cello with her
"Thanks," I mumbled back before stepping on the stage. This time I felt much more relaxed, but I can't say that I wasn't nervous. I was. It was just that I already know, what it's like being on the stage. So I felt familiar with the feeling. Original song group differed from the previous one because we had to tell in minute or two, what inspired us to write it and what it's about. It was kept short. The host was waiting for me to walk up to her.
"Callie, tells us, what inspired you to write your song," The host, which was one of the teaches in Music school, asked me
"Two things – my foster mom and the movie Peter Pan," I replied shorty, looking up to the host
"Is your foster mom here?" She asked looking down at me
"I don't know," I replied honestly, because I hadn't seen her in the audience the first time I was on the stage. I had only scanned the room briefly, before I started to play. I hadn't seen her.
"Is Callie Jacob foster mom here today?" the host asked turning to the stage "If you are, can you please raise your hand so we can see you?"
"I'm here!" Came a call from the audience. Amy raised her hand up and waved. The audience and judges all looked to Amy, to see who she was. Knowing she was here, calmed me down even more. I smiled looking at her. At least now I know where I needed to look.
"Explain to us quickly, what your song 'Lost boy' is about,"
"Before I met my foster mom and her family, I was like a Lost boy, like the ones in Peter Pan. With each day I remember less and less about the life I had before foster care. The only thing I have ever wanted is a place to call home and foster parents that simply care about me and don't ignore me. My foster mom gave me that...and more. She didn't send me away even after her own family died. Their home, which her family welcomed me in, is like Never Land. I'm allowed to be kid again. I don't have to act older than I am. In my song, my foster family in a way represent Peter Pan and Wendy, who took care of Lost Boys,"
"The stage is yours," Host said before walking to the side of the stage
I walked to center of the stage and took a seat on the stool. When I set my guitar on my knee and situated my hands on the strings, I located Amy in the audience with my eyes. Without looking down to the strings, I started to play the chords.
There was a time when I was alone
Nowhere to go and no place to call home
My only friend was the man in the moon
And even sometimes he would go away, too
Then one night, as I closed my eyes,
I saw a shadow flying high
He came to me with the sweetest smile
Told me he wanted to talk for awhile
He said, "Peter Pan. That's what they call me.
I promise that you'll never be lonely."
And ever since that day...
I am a lost boy from Never Land
Usually hanging out with Peter Pan
And when we're bored we play in the woods
Always on the run from Captain Hook
"Run, run, lost boy," they say to me,
"Away from all of reality."
Never Land is home to lost boys like me
And lost boys like me are free
He sprinkled me in pixie dust and told me to believe
Believe in him and believe in me
Together we will fly away in a cloud of green
To your beautiful destiny
As we soared above the town that never loved me
I realized I finally had a family
Soon enough we reached Never land
Peacefully my feet hit the sand
And ever since that day...
I am a lost boy from Never land
Usually hanging out with Peter Pan
And when we're bored we play in the woods
Always on the run from Captain Hook
"Run, run, lost boy," they say to me,
"Away from all of reality."
Never Land is home to lost boys like me
And lost boys like me are free
Peter Pan, Tinker Bell, Wendy Darling,
Even Captain Hook.
You are my perfect story book
Never Land, I love you so,
You are now my home sweet home
Forever a lost boy at last
And for always I will say...
I am a lost boy from Never Land
Usually hanging out with Peter Pan
And when we're bored we play in the woods
Always on the run from Captain Hook
"Run, run, lost boy," they say to me,
"Away from all of reality."
Never Land is home to lost boys like me
And lost boys like me are free
By the time I had finished the song, my eyes were averted to the string on the guitar. I looked up to the audience to Amy to try and see her reaction. She was sitting quite far from the stage, but I hoped I could see some kind of, small indication whether or not she liked it.
Seconds after I was done playing, I saw how she stood up. The chair raised up automatically causing loud enough sound for a lot of people to look her directions. Amy turned and walked towards the auditorium exit. I think that was the moment my heart shattered into little pieces as the only reasonable explanation for that sort of action was that she hated it and she was embarrassed of me and the song that I had written for her. My eyes got teary. And a lone tear fell down the moment the doors closed after her.
I tilted my head down and with my right wiped the tear away from my eyes.
"Thank you Callie!" The host said walking up to the stage "Please welcome our next contestant Ivy Burns!"
I jumped off the stool, holding the guitar in my left I walked off the stage. My previous effort of getting rid of the tears turned out useless as new tears appeared in my eyes, when I was in the backstage.
I wanted to throw the stupid guitar to the wall and smash it up. I felt the urge to run. With no destination in mind. Simply run. Get as far away from here as possible. Hide. I was pacing back and forth the hallway in the backstage scolding myself over and over, and over again. Why did I ever think I could have pulled this off? I'm not good enough. It was stupid! Stupid. Stupid me! STUPID ME! The anger I felt towards myself grew with every second.
I dropped the guitar down to the ground.
"Hey!" I heard a voice from the other end of the hallway
Looking up, I saw Amy standing there in her full uniform. She was standing still for a moment. Her cheeks were a bit flushed, like she had been running. When I wiped my cheek with my palms Amy started to come my way. I tilted my head down and took a small step backwards, trying to make myself as small as possible, once again regretting the decisions to write the stupid song.
"I'm sor-" I started saying, but stopped mid word, when Amy wrapped her arms around me, lifted me up and spun me around the air
"It was beautiful Callie!" She said as she set me down "Why are you crying?" she asked running her hands gently over my cheeks, wiping away the tears
"You walked off, I thought you...hated it," I admitted as new tears escaped
"Hated it?" Amy asked in surprise "I loved it! Loved every second of it!" She said as she fondly wiped away the tears again "When did you write it?"
"After we watched Peter Pan," I sniffed a little
"Why didn't you tell you were going to perform an original song?" Amy tucked some lose stray of hair behind my ear
"I wanted it to be a surprise," I replied timidly briefly averting my eyes down
"It was," She ran her hand over my hair "I was blown away,"
"Really?"
"Yeah, really," Amy grinned back "And you know what?" she looked to my eyes, the smile grew bigger
"What?"
"I love you kiddo. I love you so much, you can't even imagine. I'm so proud of you. So freaking proud," Amy pulled in me a tight hug, resting her chin on top of my head. At this moment, nothing else mattered. I didn't care about the completion, about where I placed, what the judges will say. All I cared was that Amy loved it and she loved me. I had missed hearing those three little words. Hearing Amy say that, gave me the courage to say it back.
"I love you too," I whispered while in her embrace
AN2: The songs are not mine, of course. I don't own either one of them. First was Metallica - Nothing else matters. Second one Ruth B - Lost boy.
Thank you to LittlePenguin93 for help and for the suggestions.