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LadySharkey1 rocks my world by being the most amazing, kick-ass beta I could ever imagine.
34.
"We're here to see Edward Masen."
The girl guarding the door to the backstage area eyed Bella skeptically as she held a clipboard like it was her only weapon against the scum of the earth. And right then, Bella was guilty of belonging to that group until she proved otherwise. "Name?" the girl barked.
"Bella Swan," Bella managed to force out, fighting the urge to run as she cursed herself for not bringing Alice along.
And just like that, the girl's whole demeanor changed from scary dragoon into something altogether more pleasant as she stepped aside, her smile as wide as it was fake. "He's been expecting you."
Bella plastered on a smile as phony as she could manage as she side-stepped the evil PR girl with a less than sincere, "Thank you."
The minute she found herself inside the venue, she had no clue as to where to go. Astute as she had become at navigating the intricate maze that was Columbia University, the small, pub-like bar she found herself in was a complete mystery to her. She could have gone back to ask the bitch standing by the door for directions, but Bella would have much rather wandered around the belly of a midtown bar forever than admit defeat.
Fortunately, once she oriented herself, the rest was pretty much self-explanatory as there wasn't that much more down there than an office, a breakroom and a closed door with a sign announcing it as the dressing room.
With her hand hovering a few inches from the wood, Bella gave herself a little pep-talk, reminding that annoying, nagging voice in her head why she had chosen to come and how much Edward had changed. The obnoxious, know-it-all voice still remained, though, lecturing her about future heartbreak and leopards never changing their spots.
"Shut up!" she mumbled to herself, wincing as she knocked on the door a little too harshly in her determination to shut that little voice of reason up. "I want this."
The stranger who chose exactly that moment to open the door, however, had no idea what the hell she meant by that; his eyebrows shooting all the way into his hairline as he scrutinized the strange girl, talking to herself. "What?"
"I'm here to see Edward Masen?" Bella said. "I'm Bella Swan."
Just like before, those words seemed to be the trick to open the door and even it hadn't been, Edward's reaction to hearing her name would have yielded the same effect. The minute her frame became visible through the widening gap in the door, he ditched who he was talking with and all but leapt over a sofa to greet her. "Hi!" He breathed, shoving the poor, confused guy who'd opened the door out of the way. "You came."
Bella smiled, trying to fan a few strands of hair into her face to hide her blush. "I told you I would, didn't I?"
"You did," Edward acknowledged, dawdling nervously. "Do you want to meet my band?"
Bella nodded, stepping into the small, worn down dressing room where she was introduced to Jared, the drummer, Sam, the bass player, Embry, the guitarist, and Leah, the keyboardist. The last one made Bella tense up in alarm until Edward explained she was actually Sam's fiancé. "They're different than the old gang, huh?" Edward finally summed up, chuckling as he ran his hand over the back of his head, exposing a sliver of skin and the waistband of his briefs as his t-shirt rode up.
"Y-yeah," Bella breathed, blushing ever deeper as she wobbled nervously from one foot onto the other. She had no idea of how to act around a rock band, even one which seemed as mellow and friendly as Edward's new backup band. And, on top of that, the new and improved Edward Masen was starting to make her more nervous by the second.
Where Bella had concluded that she wasn't exactly over Edward a long time ago, the events at the ballfield, and their subsequent dinner, had stirred something stronger within her. She wasn't ready to address what she was feeling yet, but it seemed to increase in force and size within her heart with every minute she spent in his presence.
It scared her.
It excited her.
It made he want to run for safety.
It made her want to run to him.
Realizing she was about to launch into a Whitney Houston song, Bella swallowed, forcing her mind back into focus as she sat down next to Edward who had started tuning his guitar. "We'll go on stage in a couple of minutes," he explained as his drummer was loosening his wrists by rapping his sticks against the back of a sofa. "Aro's just checking to see if everything's the way it should be and make sure there's a barstool backstage you can sit on."
"Won't I be in the way?" Bella asked. She didn't have the slightest idea what went on in the wings during a musician's show but she had an inkling it wasn't a normal hangout spot for onlookers.
"Nah. I had Billy, our roadie, set it up so that he'd have enough space to work during the show." Edward shrugged, his slight blush and evasive look made Bella suspect the truth hadn't been quite as straightforward.
Her suspicions were soon confirmed when Leah snorted but, before the keyboardist could speak, a glare from Edward silenced her. "I'm just saying," she chuckled, holding her hands up apologetically, "I never knew a rich kid from Chicago could out swear a roadie who used to tour with Mötley Crüe."
Bella turned to Edward, nervously licking her lips. "Are you sure it's okay for me to be there?"
"Abso-fucking-lutely," Edward assured her, scowling in Leah's direction. "This is my show. What I say, goes. And I fucking say I want you in the wings, so I don't give a shit what anybody else says."
"Oh, my God, the old Edward is still in there somewhere!" Bella joked, rolling her eyes. "I thought he'd perished somewhere during rehab."
"Nah." Edward leaned back smugly scratching his stomach. "This is just the new and improved me; clean and talking about my damn feelings and shit, but, underneath it's still the same fucking engine that makes me tick."
Bella snorted. "And swear a lot, apparently."
A knock on the door shut them up as an older man with sharp, beady black eyes and a crisp, equally black suit stepped into the room; the stark contrast to everybody else immediately identifying him as Edward's manager even before Edward himself confirmed it. "Ah, it's the suit. That means it's time to rock 'n roll, boys and girls!"
Immediately, the band members were amped up and ready to go; with yells like, 'let's go' and 'yeah' reverberating through the room as Edward grabbed Bella's hand, pulling her up and through the maze of narrow corridors and only letting go until he stepped into the light, and the almighty roar of the ecstatic crowd squashed into the bar.
Unlike the last time she'd seen him perform live, this time she was able to actually enjoy it and let his beautiful words and Edward's deep, soulful voice seep into her being as she gently swayed to the music. The last time, she had been so taken up with the fact that it was him and that those words were evidently about her—about them—that the beauty had almost missed their mark.
Since she was past all of that, it struck her all over again just how incredibly talented Edward Masen was.
And how lucky they all were that at one point in his life, at least, he had made the right decision.
Watching him on that stage reignited all those things in Bella that she had been in denial of ever since he had walked back into her life. In that moment, she realized that no matter how hurt and suspicious she still was, she wanted him.
Had she ever really stopped?
As hot and bothered as he still left her, though, the thought of restarting something with him still scared Bella half to death. After all, he'd been careless with her heart once before. He might have been convinced he had changed but how was she to know that somewhere down the line he wouldn't change back into the old him?
Which, of course, left her with the same conundrum she'd been in the previous summer: should she wait and go with her better judgement or give in to her heart and jump in feet first?
If only she knew.
Seeing how Edward completely lost himself in his music and the vibe he was sharing with his audience, made Bella understand him a little better. Sure, she might not have been on that stage, however, it was easy to see how thrilling and addictive it was. It also put a huge responsibility on his shoulders. They had all come to see him, paid good money to have him entertain them for a while, and they all expected to be swept away on that vibe with him.
With every show, his reputation grew and expectations grew: come up with a new sound, reinvention of his stage personality, and to just blow his socks off with music that made them forget the world around them.
Edward needed to be harder, faster, better, stronger each night and with each record he dropped.
He had to be 'switched on' twenty-four seven and with nobody to talk to, nobody who really understood him, it was no wonder he'd resorted to the help of chemicals to bear the burden. It was by no means the right thing to do but seeing him on that stage before her made it more understandable.
From time to time, she saw Aro standing on the other side of the stage, most of the time joined by one or more people clad in the same sort of suit as he was. They all screamed 'industry' and the not the side of the industry that got their hands dirty. No, they were the guys at the top who made stuff happen. And Bella knew that was also what Aro was trying to do for his client.
She tried not to let it distract her too much, happy as she was to be as far away from them as she could be. With Edward and the others on the stage acting as a protective shield to keep her from the man who both scared her because of the power he held, and angered her because of his long, long period of enabling Edward's destructive habits before he finally stepped in.
The show was over before she knew it, spanning the length of the new album and a few of Edward's old songs being played in this new, acoustic setting. It was an hour that felt like a minute and then, suddenly he was in front of her again; his grin cocky but a little worn out around the edges as his chest expanded and contracted wildly while sweat beaded on his forehead.
"Did you like it?" he asked. Bella's heart almost broke at the cautious, expectant look on his face.
Bella nodded furiously. "I loved it, Edward. You are…wow!"
"That good, huh?" He smiled, the sweat stains on his t-shirt deepening as he rubbed the damp fabric against his chest. "Well, I've got to go out there and do my trick once more for the encore but after that, I'd like you to tell me a bit more about how good I was." He winked, letting her know he was only playing.
She slapped him against the chest anyway, huffing as she answered, "I think I liked you better when you still had your tail between your legs!"
"Oh, Miss Swan," Edward crooned as he leaned in close, the timbre of his voice against her skin making her flush with heat. "You have no idea of what I can do with that tail of mine."
Bella swallowed as the memories of them together flashed in front of her eyes. "I have a pretty good grasp of it, remember? Or did the booze do such a number on you that you forgot?"
"I haven't," he spoke, his eyes alight just like they had been…then. As he stepped away, though, he looked nervous, his tongue darting out to lick his lips as he hovered while his bandmates were already getting ready to go back out. "Would you… Can I take you somewhere? After we're done?" he finally asked, hesitantly. "I have someplace I'd like to show you."
Bella nodded before she could think about it, before rational thought could take over and persuade her otherwise.
"Good!" His cocky self was back as he winked at her, taking her completely by surprise as he placed a quick, sweaty kiss on her lips before strutting out there to the roar of the audience.
Leaving Bella breathless, mindless and in more trouble than she'd ever been.
Thoughts?