Sixty Five
I awoke in darkness, alone. I threw the blankets off allowing the Arc Reactor to light up the room. I heard voices in the other room, so I followed them. I found Loki and a white haired man, whom I assumed was Îrben sitting close together. Their eyes closed, their foreheads touched together. As I approached closer I noticed Îrben holding Loki's hands, palms up. There was a slight glow surrounding their hands.
I stood quietly, watching, trying to comprehend what I was seeing. I waited as patiently as I could, trying not to shift too much or make too much noise.
"Tony?" Loki suddenly smiled. "Think you can breathe any louder?" My eyes shot open. I didn't think he knew I was standing there.
"How?" I started.
"I knew the moment you got up. Come here." He waved me over, finally opening his eyes. He took my hand and pulled into his lap. "Îrben, I want you to meet my lover, Tony."
"It's wonderful to meet you. Loki has been talking about you for a long time." Îrben spoke in a deep voice.
"Really?"
"Yes, every time he's been here for a healing session I've gotten an update on you. It's so great to finally meet the man who's made my Loki so happy." Îrben clasped my hands. I felt the residual energy on him.
"Did I interrupt something?" I blushed.
"We were healing some of my physical wounds. Now that you're here we can get to work on the emotional scars." Loki explained. He settled me into his lap between his knees.
"I don't want to forget." I tried.
"We won't forget, I just want to make the pain less. So we can move forward." He said while nuzzling my neck. His breath tickling the fine hairs on the nape of his neck.
"Tony, I need your hands." Îrben held his hands out for mine. I extended my hands to him. He cupped the backs of my hands. Loki extended his hands out over mine, sandwiching my hands.
"Love, go ahead, relax." Loki pushed me forward slightly so my forehead touched Îrben's. Loki rested his head on my back. "Just focus on my breathing."
It took a few minutes, but my breath finally fell into rhythm with theirs. I felt the energy flow into my hands from both men. The warmth of the energy filled me. I felt a warm wetness soaking into my shirt.
"Loki." I breathed.
"Focus, Tony." He reminded. I matched my breath to him again. As my breathing fell in line, I felt the memories of that painful morning stir up. I felt the first tears stream down my face. I felt the sadness and pain wash over me before it disappeared. The memory was there, it was no longer painful to think about. Loki breathed a sigh of release.
"It's done." Îrben sat up, drawing his hands from ours. I clasped Loki's hands, drawing them around my chest. Neither one of us were crying anymore, but we sat still wrapped around each other.
"I'm sorry." Loki finally spoke. Îrben took that as a sign to go to bed.
"What are you sorry about, it wasn't meant to be right now." I answered.
"I'm sorry for allowing it to happen in the first place. We just hadn't made love in my female form for so long, I forgot to recast the spell." He explained.
"It's still not your fault. Remember, it takes two to create new life. If you're going to keep blaming yourself, you should be blaming me too." I turned in my seat, taking his face in my hands. "Loki, let's just remember the good that came from it."
"The weeks of puking or the fact we were forced to expose our relationship to the very people that want me dead?" He rolled his eyes.
"You know what I mean. Besides the team will get over it." I kissed him softly. "You look exhausted, let's go to bed."
I stood, leading the way back to the guest room. I crawled in next to him, wrapping myself around him. I ran my hands over his fading scars. Our history written over his body.