TCE: Chapter 29
A/N: I'm home once more! Cheers to me! Over my absence I now realize how I want to end this fanfic. I'm sorry to say that some point in the future I will stop going off the manga for most of everything (not sure when though probably after the Phantomhive Murders) and write my own ending that's somewhat similar to the anime...well, scratch that actually. But I know what I want it to be like at the end. XD
Great job to Paxloria and Akatsuki2011 for guessing correctly! (I tried to make it a bit easy lol.)
Disclaimers: (Yana forgive me for forgetting these!) I do not own. All properties and right of Kuroshitsuji "Black Butler" are fully entailed to the creators, mostly Yana Toboso and Funimation Entertainment Corp. This chapter and all chapters beyond this point have now fully been disclaimed.
Chapter 29: Betrayal of the Mind
'Cain...Cain...over here...'
The calm and elusive voice entered Felix's mind as he once again found himself at the ominous red gate. He saw an untamed version of himself calmly leaning against one of the gate doors. They were both open...
Wide open.
The screams rushed out and Felix turned to run. He ran with all of his breath and blood pounding through his veins like a locamotive. Then his feet began to shrink, as did his body.
He gasped and he ran faster. His hair grew longer, his clothes turned into spitefully familiar white robes of mountain children. He was running still, and tears poured from his eyes. Fear rushed through him as he sobbed, putting his small hands to his weeping eyes. Why was he so sad?
'What are you running from Cain?' The voice followed him and he looked up.
Black darkness began to swallow him up and he let out a vicious scream that tore through the shadows and into the light as he saw the red gates behind him; slowly closing.
No...no...
"DONT LEAVE ME IN HERE!"
The gates kept closing shut and he could see his other self on the other side, looking in sadly at Felix.
Some words left his mouth that he couldn't understand.
"HE'LL KILL THEM MIRROR! DON'T BETRAY ME! LET ME OUT OF HERE MIRROR!" Felix called out in a small weak voice he didn't recognize...no, he recognized it all too much, "MIRROR!"
The long haired reflection of himself looked back with a sad smile. Felix didn't know why he was calling his other self Mirror. Only that the things he kept saying sounded familiar but didn't make sense.
"MIRROR WE CAN SAVE THEM! PLEASE!"
'Save who Cain?'
"P-Papa...and Mama. Please, Mirror, we need to save them. We need to protect them from the Harvesters that Papa talked about. Mirror...are you going to betray me?"
'As you betrayed me?' Mirror growled and his eyes turned on Felix, 'Like how you locked me away here like it was my fault? You kept me here with these gruesome memories and forgot who I was! Remember them! Remember all of the childhood you locked away!'
"No..."
Felix felt himself being dragged back. Faces swam through his mind and he tried not to see them. It hurt too much.
"No!"
Those faces with voices, warm and caring singing to him sometimes and scolding him in others. He could see the faint trace of blood. No, it had to stop.
"NO!"
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"FELIX!"
His guardian shot up with crazed silver eyes that were the very embodiment of fear. Kurt could see Felix's sweat running down his neck and it seemed the man was struggling to breathe.
"Felix?"
The silver gaze didn't leave Felix's eyes as it usually would after a dream. It was staying put and it frightened Kurt beyond belief.
"Brother Cain..." A solid voice sounded from the doorway and Kurt felt some relief as he saw Sol walk in towards them.
"H-He's not coming back like he usually does..." Kurt sniffed.
"Step aside." Sol ordered and Kurt obliged as the white-haired woman sat down beside Felix. She pulled out a candle from the bedside drawer and used matches to light it up as she set it into a holder.
"Close the curtains Kurt, make it as dark as possible in here."
Kurt closed the drapes shut and tried not to shake in fear as Sol moved the flames close to Felix's eyes.
"It's morning Cain. Let go brother, let go...it's fine. Just let go for now." Sol murmured warmly.
A few tears spilled from Felix's eyes before they slowly returned to their familiar gold color. The publisher gasped and panted, taking in as much air as possible as he tried to get a hold of himself. Kurt sighed in relief and reopened the curtains while Sol blew out the candle.
'It's getting dangerous the way Felix is fighting himself...' Sol thought.
"...what time is it?" Felix croaked.
"Only 4:25, you still have time left to complete your chores...but I'm ordering you to stay in here and rest." Sol stated.
Kurt nodded in agreement, "I can handle myself for one day Felix."
The red-haired butler shook his head, "That would be improper, Sol I'm fine there's no need to-"
"That's an ORDER." Sol hissed, "You can walk rest here WILLINGLY, or you can stay chained to this bed PERMANENTLY."
Felix and Kurt both gulped before the red-haired butler nodded and laid back down against the pillows to do as he was told. Sol smiled a little.
"Good choice. Now Kurt, let's leave and let him relax okay?"
Kurt gave a slightly mischievous grin to Felix as he touched his pocket-bandanna with glee. Felix narrowed his eyes.
"Don't you dare kid...we have guests."
"But what kind of kid would I be if I wasn't rebellious?" Kurt stuck his tongue out as he almost ran through the open doorway and tied on his black and white headwear.
Sol chuckled at Felix's outraged face, "Don't worry, we'll keep an eye on him."
With that the door shut behind her, leaving Felix alone with his thoughts.
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Sebastian fought a smile and settled for a smirk as he remembered Ciel's disgruntled manner before retiring the night before. It was almost cute in the way he simply refused to discuss why Kurt had made him blush.
He set the iron down, his nose scrunching up as the steam rose to his face along with the smell of fresh newspaper. They got, of course, The Times, and also The Choppy Enquirer.
His eyes drifted over to the second paper, the one that was more important to him than normal human news; he left the boring news for his young master.
The inking was a little weird now, probably due to Felix's absence. Something about vampires and sone big footed monster. It sounded like the vampire was real, he recognized the name Strigoi, an old family title.
His eyes narrowed at the name on the bottom.
[Edited by L Pendragon. Written by C Summet.]
Felix had done the story then? So in truth Felix wasn't just a publisher, but a writer as well...he'd given not a lie, but not the whole truth either.
"I'm curious to other works Mr. Nhell has done." He spoke aloud.
"He usually carries all of his accomplishments with him on his journeys. If you really want to see, they're probably stuffed in his room somewhere..." Hespera made Sebastian snap his gaze towards her.
She was sneaky in the way that she wasn't detected by a demon. She was powerful in the fact that she caught a demon in a spell. She was weak in the fact she was impulsive when it came to her brother. Sebastian pretended she wasn't there and carried on.
"You're ignoring me, which means you're playing right into your emotions. Anger I'm guessing..." She stated.
A glass shattered next to her head, she didn't flinch, but brushed off the shards that fell on her shoulders. Sebastian panted like a feral animal, furious and violent. Hespera clicked her tongue.
"Now here I thought we were friends, but believe it or not, I'm not here for you. Felix was ordered by Sol to rest in his room for the day, so he won't be accompanying you today."
"Is he ill?" Sebastian instantly perked up.
His gut suddenly felt heavier and his throat felt tight...he couldn't be...not worried. That would be impossible...
She smiled knowingly.
'Apparently nothing is impossible with her around...' He thought angrily.
"No, merely nightmares about...hm, not sure what about, but this actually happens a lot." Hespera shrugged and gave a polite wave, "I have things to pack. Good bye~!"
Sebastian glared at the door she'd passed through before looking through the Times newspaper for anything on the case. His eyes landed on the big-large-lettering.
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"My my, it's rare to see you awake so early..." Sebastian inquired as he saw Ciel sitting up in his bed.
He ignored his feelings of adoration at the way Ciel's hair curled around his face and how pudgy his cheeks were. Suddenly the butler had the urge to squeeze them. He ignored it...very difficultly. Now he understood Felix's occasional outbursts when it came to Kurt.
"I was feeling irritated so I had trouble sleeping." Ciel sighed.
"Nightmares again young master?" It wasn't really a question.
"...no. Not exactly." Ciel felt his cheeks flush slightly, "Since when did it matter to you anyway?"
"As a butler it is my duty to make sure my master sleeps well." Sebastian grinned, "I see that you slept quite nicely."
"Unless you have something else to go bother about may we get to that other annoyance and his butler?" Ciel scoffed as Sebastian handed him the newspaper.
"It seems those two were gone throughout the entire evening." The demon informed.
"What were they doing all night-?"
Ciel's eyes clung to the title like parchment to glue.
[Another Mysterious Attack!: A Coffeehouse in Piccadilly Circus Severely Damaged!]
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"So, aren't you quite popular these days earl?" Lau smiled.
There were crickets chirping outside as if to mock the fact that neither Felix, Kurt, or any of the other guests were in this room. The silence was palpable and Ciel felt a sense of emptiness in the room.
He frowned. He was the Earl Ciel Phantomhive. He didn't NEED friends. In fact, Kurt's absence was a relief!
The clock ticked behind him.
Sebastian's hands twitched slightly. Felix would usually be here for him to bully and mess around with, now that the human was on bed-rest (per Sol's orders) he had nothing to do but stand behind his master like an idiotic statue.
"Sebastian," Ciel finally snapped, "Where is Kurt...and the others?"
"Well young master, Felix is on bed rest because for some bizarre idea Lady S Pendragon thought he needed some sleep. By that you can SIMPLY deduct that Kurt is with him. The others you can hear making a racket in the game room, no doubt making a mess that I alone will have to clean up as per your orders...THAT, young master, is where. they. are." Sebastian huffed and Ciel raised one of his eyebrows.
"Perhaps Ms. Pendragon is a smarter woman than I give her credit for..." Ciel murmured and turned back to Lau who just set down the Times, "What do you think about those two and this incident?"
"Meh," Lau shrugged, "To be honest, those two have been ultra suspicious from the get go."
"That is true, though I just can't see why those two would cause trouble..." Ciel's brows furrowed, "A grudge against colonial rule? It just doesn't seem likely. Even if they do have a problem with the Anglo Indians returning to England, attacking them in such a flamboyant fashion as Agni and Soma had done would be too risky. Most of all...if they are the criminals, why would they come and stay with ME of all people? So they aren't really 'suspicious' at all are they?"
"Well then, it would be pretty neat if night were upon us now wouldn't it?" Lau laughed.
Ciel stood up with a sigh, "Sadly it is not evening yet, but late morning."
"Then could I interest you in a game of checkers earl?" Lau pulled out a board shaped like a star with various marbles in the tips.
"Very well." Ciel nodded and Lau set it down as the earl turned to his butler, "Sebastian, you may leave now."
Sebastian bowed, "Yes my lord."
He darted a glance towards Lau and felt slightly protective of his young lord. This mafia man was obviously nothing more than a suspicious pervert with predatory intentions-
Sebastian caught himself before his emotions got too far and smiled before exiting. He looked down in surprise as he saw Sol drawing circles into the carpet again. She looked up with a sympathetic smile, and Sebastian could tell she knew what had happened.
"What do you require my lady?"
"Brother isn't allowed to leave his room. I believe in situations like this the duties of that servant fall upon the head butler. Felix is not fit to retrieve his food; so you must bring it to him." Sol stated.
Sebastian bowed, "Of course. Right away my lady."
He started to step away, but a strong hand gripped his wrist and pulled him down to the floor. Sol leaned over and put her hand to Sebastain's ear.
"Covet and capture while you still can..." She murmured before releasing him.
Sebastian normally wouldn't have understood what she was talking about, however this feeling of possession and light in his chest made him nod and head off to make Felix a well-prepared meal even though there were other more pressing matters he should've been dealing with.
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'Ah, welcome back Cain.'
Felix didn't reply as he appeared underneath a tree in front of the gate. His second self looked down from above in a domineering manner. His pale legs kicking out and his hair falling close to Felix's face.
"...why did I call you Mirror?" Felix asked tiredly.
Mirror chuckled and swung down, landing softly beside Felix, 'Because that is what you call me.'
"I'm sick of your riddles! For once can't you give me a straight answer?" Felix hissed.
The milky white substance lapped at Felix's ankles. It burned a little, like something was making his skin sting. Mirror smiled faintly.
'You remember all of the answers to those questions yourself Cain; they're just locked away tight up here.' Mirror pointed to his head.
Felix frowned and a wind blew past, he swore wind chimes and children's voices echoed in the distance. The air was colder here and it was harder to breathe.
"Where are we? What are we doing here?" Felix asked.
Mirror stood up and held out his hand, 'Would you like to learn again?'
The cheery laughter echoed in Felix's ear. It made him feel happy; happier than he'd felt in a long while.
The fear crept up again, and all of a sudden he knew his reason for staying. He gripped the hand offered to him.
"I wouldn't like to. But I have to do this for my sake. Sometimes you have to do what you don't want to do." Felix let out a small smile as Mirror helped him up.
'These memories won't be happy, you might wish you hadn't seen them at all...' Mirror warned.
Felix nodded as the gate creaked open slowly. Mirror led the way towards the impending darkness of Felix's mind.
"I know...I know..."
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"Mr. Nhell, may I enter?"
Sebastian waited for a moment in the corridor outside Felix's room. He hadn't been in this room since showing it to Felix, the butler wondered how the publisher might've fixed it up.
"Mr. Nhell?" Sebastian called.
When there was no answer he turned the doorknob with a chuckle.
"Leaving your door unlocked, will you ever learn of the dangers?" He murmured.
Unexpectedly, Kurt wasn't seen in the room, leaving Sebastian to wonder where the small boy was. He set the tray of food down on the dresser, seeing as Felix's table was covered by many layers of handwritten papers. One of the drawers in the dresser was opened, overflowing with newspapers of Felix's career.
Sebastian heard a light breathing and turned, his heart thudding in his ears like he was some human...with human feelings.
His dark eyes moved over the crimson haired being resting peacefully on the mattress. His usual sun-kissed skin was beginning to become that milky white color that Sebastian wore. Long beautiful eyelashes fluttered and Sebastian's heart pounded even more. Heat pooled in his cheeks and he walked over to Felix's side; looking at him.
His hands were not as large as Sebastian's own, almost like a woman's except slightly more square in shape. They looked soft.
Sebastian reached out and gently moved a piece of blood red hair out of the angelic being's face. Felix shivered in sleep and Sebastian pulled up the blankets around his toy's shoulders.
He had to keep that train of thought. Felix was a toy. Felix was a toy. Felix was...
Sebastian unconsciously leaned over Felix's pale face, his rose dusted lips and defined cheek bones. Felix was beautiful. Felix was desirable. He was cunning, brave, entrancing, hypnotizing, caring, lovable, strong, willing, attractive like metal to a magnet yet deliciously unaware, and-
"Mine."
Sebastian lifted Felix's chin upward and held his head as he would something breakable. Felix was his. He wanted him to never look at anyone else with a happy expression. Humans didn't deserve Felix's gaze, his beauty and so utterly social personality. Nobody but him deserved the pleasure of touching him. He pressed their lips together and somewhere in the demon's mind he knew this was bizarre; to kiss a sleeping man. He also found that strangely, he didn't give a damn.
He stayed like that for a moment; just hovering over the man he now knew he was falling for like a wolf awaiting his prey. After a few moments he stood up and exited, trying to ignore the rush of heated blood throughout his body, especially in his cheeks and in his lips. His skin burned deliciously, that high feeling he only seemed to feel after devouring a soul. He licked his lips and smirked.
"Now then, there are other matters to be addressed."