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LadySharkey1 rocks my world by being the most amazing, kick-ass beta I could ever imagine.

35.

"Where are we going?" Bella wondered as they walked, side by side, out of the backstage door.

Edward merely chuckled, placing this free hand on the small of her back—much to the delight of both of them—as he swung his guitar case over his other shoulder. "It's a surprise; spoiling it now would kind of defeat the purpose, don't you think?"

"You know I hate surprises!" Bella's face scrunched up with frustration as she tried to think of where it was that Edward would be taking her. "I like to be prepared for whatever comes my way."

Edward chuckled as Bella's frown deepened. "Then maybe it's time to relax a little more…to do something you wouldn't normally do. You know, take a chance on something unexpected?"

"Like follow a recovering addict to an unspecified place in the city…we are staying in New York, right?" Bella paled, thinking of all the places outside of the city he could be taking her and the consequences that had for her studying schedule. "I have finals coming up in only a few days. I need to be back in my room bright and early tomorrow morning to study!"

"Don't worry." Bella's scowled deepened even further as Edward's mirth only seemed to grow with every remonstrance. "I'll have you back in your room before midnight so that you can turn back into a pumpkin."

"It was the carriage that turned into a pumpkin," Bella grumbled as they descended into a subway station, "and it's not like it's such a weird thing to want to know where we're going."

"Maybe not," Edward answered, unimpressed by Bella's chagrin. "But that doesn't mean I'm telling you."

"Boo!" Bella groused as she followed him into an overcrowded subway train.

Usually the overpopulation of the New York underground annoyed her since it exposed her to all sorts of icky smells and weirdos standing too close. This time, however, with Edward seizing the opportunity to hold her close—and his spicy, masculine scent invading her system—Bella had to admit that it had it perks.

Her curiosity was piqued as Edward gently nudged her out of the subway car after a couple of stops, their route taking them above ground again at a corner of Central Park she knew quite well, since it was pretty close to campus.

"You're taking me to the park?" she asked, as her mind started to wonder about where exactly Edward would bring her for this impromptu date.

Edward, again, chuckled knowingly. "Not quite." Steering her across the road and down the sidewalk, his hand landed on the small of her back as they walked parallel to the park. "We're close, though."

Bella frowned as she watched the cars speed by along Central Park West. Though she was still convinced their final destination was somewhere green and leafy, they were on the wrong side of the street. And one thing she wasn't expecting was for Edward to expertly steer her into a building a few blocks from the subway station. "Here?" she wondered, her mind trying to catch up to where they were. "It looks like just any other apartment building. Is there a restaurant in here somewhere?" Worrying as she looked at the Art Deco grandeur around her, she knew that the simple music bar garb she had on would be frowned upon at any restaurant or even rooftop bar that would reside in this particular building. "Are you sure I'm dressed appropriately for this place?"

"Quite sure," Edward replied smugly, nodding at the doorman as he guided her into the elevator. "Relax, Bella…or at least try? For me?"

Folding her hands in front of her chest, Bella huffed as she scowled at him. "I don't like you very much right now."

"Now, sugar, we both know you don't mean that." Edward grinned, playfully shaking his head as the elevator stopped and the doors opened. "Come on."

Bella's heart skipped, both from the sheer force of Edward's smirk and the anticipation that rose now that they were close to their final destination. "We're here?" Looking around her, the only thing she saw was a generic hallway with doors leading into what she assumed were apartments. "What is this place?"

Grinning proudly, Edward opened a door a couple of feet into the hallway. "It's my place."

"Your place?" Looking around at the bare walls and empty space of a little foyer, everything started to make sense suddenly. "You mean…you bought this place?"

He nodded, closing the door behind them as Bella stepped further into the apartment. "I only signed this afternoon so don't expect too much…there's hardly any furniture in here."

"It's amazing," Bella breathed as she crossed into the open floorplan living room where the huge windows showcased a magnificent park view that immediately claimed her attention. "You've got the entire city at your feet!" Moving past a comfortable looking leather sofa, the only piece of furniture in the otherwise unfurnished room, she leaned against the radiator, her nose almost touching the huge windows as she stared out onto the scenery; the city below her.

"It's what sold me on this place." Edward nodded as he came to stand beside her. "Plus the fact that it was already empty and ready for me to move in right away. I bought a bed, a couch and some kitchenware today, so I guess I'm all settled in now."

"So, show me the rest of the place," Bella gushed, looking around to take in a lavish kitchen tucked into the far corner of the room. "I still can't believe you actually own property now."

Edward chuckled. "I know what you mean. If anyone would have told me a year ago that I'd happily fork over a small fortune to tie myself down to one spot, I'd have laughed in their face." He shrugged, still looking a little overwhelmed by the enormity of his decision. "Right now, though, I need that steadiness to keep me grounded. Especially when I'm going on tour tomorrow."

"Right…your tour." Bella had to bite back her disappointment as she was reminded of the fact that, come the next day, Edward would be gone for weeks. "How are you feeling about that?"

Edward shrugged, his eyes veiled as they stared out of the window. "Honestly? I don't know."

"I thought you'd be happy to be back on the road." Even though Bella knew perfectly well why Edward looked and felt so conflicted at the thought of going back on tour, she knew instinctually that he needed to voice those fears aloud. Keeping them bottled up would only give them more power over him than they already had.

"I am," Edward agreed, "and I know Aro and the guys from the record company have put a lot of effort into making this tour as easy as they could for me considering…well, my past. But still…"

"You're not going to relapse," Bella assured him as she stepped forward, his warmth permeating through her clothes as they stood side by side. "You're a lot stronger than you used to be."

Edward sighed, his eyes still trained on the horizon as he finally answered in a voice so torn it could have broken Bella's heart. "I wish I had your confidence."

"It will grow," Bella insisted, her hand folding around his arm as she rested her forehead against his shoulder. She didn't know what the hell she was doing but only, in that moment, it felt like the right thing to do. He needed her strength and she wanted to give it to him. Where, before, she would have given her strength with a guardedness that stemmed from knowing he was someday going to break her heart, the changed man standing beside her instilled no such fear. Only a desperate need to love and protect him. "With every day of sobriety, your strength will grow and the fight will get a little easier until one day, you won't even be able to remember what it was like to be under the influence of alcohol or drugs."

"That's what my therapist says," Edward answered, his voice a little less strained with anxiety than it had been before. "It's just that," he sighed, leaning into her as finally his eyes shifted back into the room, "having those words spoken, and putting them into practice are two completely different things, you know?"

Turning towards him, she captured his eyes as she rose to tiptoe, their faces so close she could feel his breath on her skin as she whispered, "I believe in you," before crushing her lips to his in a kiss that conveyed all the things she wanted to say to him that words couldn't capture.

"Bella." His muttered reply was a plea, a prayer and a relief all at once, the emotion behind it making her sway onto her feet as his strong arms wrapped around her in a way that let her know he was never letting go.

And she didn't want him to.

"I want this," she spoke against his strong shoulder, her voice barely registering above a whisper. "I want to try again…to try to be us again."

"I…I..." As he stammered, Bella could hear his voice break as his arms intensified their grip on hers. "Do you know how much I wanted to hear you say those words?" There was still a tremor in his words that betrayed his emotion; a tremor that told her so much more than any amount of words or promises ever could. "Even when I thought I'd lost you, especially after all I did, all I could see was you. Always."

"You were never far from my mind either," Bella admitted, burying her nose into his clothes as she inhaled his strong, masculine scent. "After you were gone, I wanted to hate you, but I just couldn't. Not even when…"

"Not even when I fucked things up even further?" Edward offered, shame rolling off him in waves as he broached the painful finale of his former life. "I thought you would despise me when you found out how deep I'd sunk."

"I did, a little," Bella admitted, then pressed a gentle kiss to his lips to soften the sting from her words. "But most of all I was worried about you…and I felt sorry…for what happened to you."

"It was all my own doing." Edward shrugged, visibly awkward and new to the concept of owning up to his mistakes. "I'm just sorry other people got dragged into my mess."

"From where I'm standing, you also got dragged into some of it as well." Bella shuddered as she remembered the photographs of that poor woman's sheet-covered body lying on the sidewalk. "You couldn't have known it would end like that."

"I don't know about that," Edward mused, resting his chin on top of her head as they both stared out in the distance. "With the track I was on, dying seemed the only way out. If Bree's death hadn't opened my eyes…" Edward felt sick from the memories he had during that dark time in his life. He stepped away from her felt the loss as she watched him lodge his hands in his hair as he closed the distance towards the window. "It would have been me," he added in a whisper.

"But it wasn't." Bella smiled as he turned around, his hesitant, insecure smile breaking her heart. "You got out in time."

"I did." His smile grew a little as he reached out tracing a single finger along her hairline before cupping the side of her face. His face fell again, his eyes clouded with worry as he sighed. "I'm still scared to death of falling back into old habits, though."

Taking his hand, she led him over to the couch, her thumb stroking soothing circles around the palm of his hand as she finally broke the silence. "You mean with the tour?"

He nodded. "Being on stage like tonight…" He shook his head. "All I want is to write and play my songs but it's going to be hell with all the temptations along the way. Playing in bars, staying in hotels, being on the road without the stability I need? I just don't know if I can stay on the wagon."

"Have you discussed this with Aro?" Bella wanted to know. "I mean, not that I'm an expert with any of this, but after what happened, I wouldn't think he'd be so eager to drop you straight into temptation central."

"He assures me it's going to be okay." Judging by the look on Edward's face, he lacked the confidence his manager seemed to have. "There's a strict 'not alcohol' clause going on my rider and the touring schedule won't be as brutal as I'm used to, so I won't be as tempted to drink my misery away. Besides, I'll be living on the tour bus which is another alcohol free zone, and all of the hotels have been instructed to empty all alcohol out of the minibar, but…" He paused, shrugging and obviously still unconvinced by everything he was saying. "There's no way to keep that shit away from me permanently and then, I will be on my own."

"Just call me," Bella insisted. "Any time of day, I'll be there for you."

He smiled weakly, leaning sideways until his forehead was resting on her shoulder, his eyes closed as he breathed, "I wish I could take you with me."

"I wish I could go," Bella answered, speaking from the heart even though her head was snorting sarcastically at the thought of her—prim, goody-two-shoes, control-freak—being in the entourage of a rock band. "I might be able to join you for a couple of days, though. If I can figure things out between my finals, babysitting for your sister and my summer intern job with your brother-in-law."

"You're actually going to work for Carlisle? Poor you!" Edward huffed before turning serious again, his big green eyes looking up at her with an intensity that made her whole body tingle. "It would be fucking awesome if you could join me for a couple of days, though. Will you see of you can make it work? I would totally understand if you couldn't and—"

"Hush!" Chuckling she silenced him by putting her finger on his lips before replacing it with her smiling lips. "I told you I was going to, didn't I?" She leaned in as he broached the gap again, this time lingering a little longer.

"Will you stay, tonight?" The question was clearly asked with no hope for a positive response; his voice that of a little boy asking begging his mom to keep the lights on to keep the boogieman at bay. "I promise to behave and…and even though I don't actually have a bed, my mattress is top of the line and fucking wide enough to need a map to find anybody else on there."

Bella chuckled, her books far from her mind as her heart sped up in anticipation of being that close to him again.

"Okay."

Thoughts?