Title: The Ghost of You

Word Count: 970

Characters: Clara Oswald, with mentions and appearances of the 11th Doctor and Tasha

Summary: Clara's thinks about how the Doctor was so quick to break his promise to her on Christmas. She continues to try to hate him, but she can't because she cares too much for him.

Rating: K

Song lyrics: "Ghost of You", by My Chemical Romance

I never said I'd lie and wait forever
If I died, we'd be together
I can't always just forget her
But she could try

She wants to forget, but it's impossible, just like she is. The pain won't ever go away; it will just keep echoing over and over again until she can't take it anymore. She's Clara Oswald- the girl that shouldn't have been, and now she was aching because he promised he wouldn't send her away again, he swore- but he sent her away. It hurt her, and that was saying a lot because she had been through many painful experiences with him.

Maybe he does not quite understand the amount of affection she held in her heart for him. Maybe he was just so old that he couldn't hear her hearts shattering into a million tiny pieces when the TARDIS made that sound, that sound that brought hope to all those who could hear it, and sent her away. Maybe he was too blind to see that she fancied him so much that she would rather die than be away from him.

And right now, she wishes herself to be dead; if she couldn't see him ever again she didn't want to be on Earth; she wanted to be in that dark wintry town called Christmas, right next to him. She wanted to grow old with him by her side. She wanted to have the chance to love him; if she couldn't have that, she had at least wanted to chance to be with him. She wished that he cloud have one something for her, just one time- if only he would just listen to what she had to say instead of just talking his two little hearts away.

For such an old man who had done so many kind things for complete strangers, he was so selfish she wanted to cry. He never seemed to consider how she felt about the situation. Did he really think that she cared so little about him that she wouldn't be willing to die beside him? There was no their place she would rather die (Except his arms, because then, for maybe the first and last time in her life would he be holding her close and he wouldn't be willing to let her go.)

She sits down, resting her head between her knees as she cries in a state of disbelief that he could do this to her, again. She wants to hate him; she wants to go to him and give him a piece of her mind, but she can't because the TARDIS was gone and because she simply loves him too much to be angry with him.

He must be so proud; he must feel like a hero, she thinks. But what good is a hero; all heroes do is destroy the opponent, and usually they destroy everything they hold dear for the greater good. So maybe he did have a special place in his hearts for her, because his action had crushed her- it demolished her. She pulls herself together and walks back inside.

She's trying not to cry, oh god, how she's trying. Her step mother tries to cheer her up, but nothing can, nothing but him, and he's not here, he's not going to be here again. But her grandmother understands; her grandmother knows the feeling and instead of telling her a joke, she makes her cry even more. (Her step mother makes a snide remark about how she shouldn't be crying on Christmas, but it's not her fault that he left her twice)

Then there's this sound; it's that sound that brings hope to all edges of the Universe. She runs out, leaving her family a little disgruntled, but she doesn't care- he came back for her just as he always does. She's no longer angry; she's exceptionally happy. She runs outside and sees that vibrant blue ship and she's ready to burst. She barges through the door expecting to see him, but he isn't there; it's Tasha. Her disappointment and concern shines through; was he not brave enough to pick her up himself?

Tasha tells her to talk to him; so she does. She was heartbroken before she saw him, but now, her heart wasn't even a heart anymore, it was more of a puddle of should have been's. He was dying; and there was nothing she could do about it. She has never felt so helpless in her life.

"Have you always looked so young?"

"No, that was always you."

She couldn't shut off the tears. It was Christmas, she should be crying; but she loves him and he's going to die and she can't help herself when he pulls her into a hug and kisses her head as he whispers that she's his impossible girl. She want to tell him that she loves him, but she can't; she can't do that to him, not even in his last moments. So she settles for the next best thing; she tries to save him.

She tells the portentous Time Lords that his name is the Doctor, and The Doctor is the only name that matters (to her.) She tells them to save him, because he had saved them, and for that they should love him, almost adding in herself that she loves him but she doesn't want to sound selfish. She drops against the wall, and wipes away her tears, trying to regain her composure. She walks away, and the crack slams together, leaving her surprised that such a race had listened to her.

But that doesn't matter; they were going to come through, and Clara Oswald felt accomplished. She had saved him. And she would always try to save him, as long as she loved him she would always be there to rescue her Doctor. Because she was his Impossible Girl.

At the end of the world
Or the last thing I see
You are
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the things that you never ever told me
And all the smiles that are ever gonna haunt me
Never coming home
Never coming home
Could I? Should I?
And all the wounds that are ever gonna scar me
For all the ghosts that are never gonna catch me

ALRIGHT, this song has been stuck in my head for a while and I got inspired to write by it. it doesn't really go with the one shot, but it inspired me to write it so here you go.

I was kind of disappointed by the lack of response I got on the last one shot in this series, so please, review and favorite and follow bc its the new year and you should be nice.

alrighty, I'll try to update Silent Hearts Beating this weekend, but I don't know how to write what i'm thinking of doing. so if its not this weekend it'll defiantly be the next.

xoxo,

bleuboxes