AN: Thank you for being so patient with me.

I had a small crisis as it hit me just how much loopholes this story has and I realized that I can't do much about them (even if I thought differently before). I wrote what I wrote 2 years ago and it's hard if not impossible to fix those loopholes. If I had known I would be taking this story so far (or so further back to be exact) I would have written few things differently. But back then I didn't do much planning (neither I do now). I thought it would end just after 6 chapters or something. So pretty much I'm screwed now :D

If you read this chapter and think that it seems familiar - it is. You can find part of this chapter written from different perspective in "After the wait". I'm trying to tie things together.

We are now really in the last stretch. I'm trying to take this slow and not fuck up the endings (like I have done many times :D). Fingers crossed that I won't this time.

Hope you enjoy :)

Callie POV

I was laying in bed, with my hands clenched on my stomach, staring up to the ceiling. For the last couple of minutes, I was fighting back tears that have been threatening to fall. I was trying to stay strong, try not to be a crybaby. It has been 5 years -that's plenty of time to get over it. But in the end, the fight was worthless, because I simply couldn't keep the tears away as the memory of the last conversation with my mom played over and over in my head.

I had been such a brat. Such a stupid kid. Taking mom for granted. Why, for the love of god, why did I have to act that way! With each passing year, I hate myself for what I did and for what I didn't say more and more. The more times pass, the more I miss her and the more I regret what I did.

If it were possible to travel back in time and talk to my younger self, I would tell myself to stop acting so childish and for the love of god, just say – I love you – back to mom. That's all I wanted. To say "I love you" to mom one last time and to kiss her goodbye before she is gone for good.

I wiped the tears that were rolling down my temples, but the tears just kept coming and coming leaving a wet strain behind them.

Taking in shaky breath from all the crying, I tossed the blanket aside and got up. I grabbed my favorite dark blue hoodie from the drawer and pulled it over my head. The hoodie was so soft and warm and it gave me comfort. I don't change out of my PJ pants for I was sure that I won't be doing anything outside home today. After all, I was still indefinitely grounded by Amy.

Before going downstairs to breakfast, I wiped the tears away in my sleeves. I knew it didn't help with my puffy face and red eyes, but if I will try to wait till those signs pass, I could be sitting here all day.

"Morning, Callie!" Amy greeted me cheerfully, when I entered the kitchen. She was sitting at the kitchen table with a newspaper in her hands. Just like me, she was still in her PJ's. A cup of coffee stood next to her, just hand reach away.

"Morning," I mumbled back quietly, without showing any cheerfulness or happiness about today. I felt her watch me as I walked over to the coffee machine and poured myself a cup. The drink had slowly grown on me. At first I didn't like, but after trying few more cups the mornings, when I hadn't had a good night's sleep, I started to actually enjoy the black drink. And somehow, Amy hadn't said anything about it. She lets me have one cup in the morning.

Shortly after I sit down across from Amy, she sets plate and tableware in front of me.

I don't make much eye contact with her. It's wired. Here I am, thinking about mom, thinking about how much I miss her and how much I want to say - I love you - to her one last time, but then there is this woman, who is sitting right in front of me, who I consider to be my mom.

This woman, has taken my moms place. I haven't said it out loud yet, but I think of Amy as my mom. I can and do say "I love you" every opportunity that I have, because I don't want to mess it up, like I did with my birth mom. I'm not taking her for granted. I'm not making that mistake ever again. If something would happen to Amy, I don't know what I would do. Losing another parent...I'm not sure I could take it.

Part of me feel wrong and guilty for loving her so much, because it feels like I'm replacing my mom. Amy's the first person I think of, when in trouble or seeking comfort, not Colleen. I still think of Colleen every day, but not like I used to. It's Amy that I want. Which was confusing, because what kind of a daughter am I? Replacing my own flesh and blood, the woman who gave birth to me and carried me under her heart for 9 month to a person, who I met while committing a crime.

I reach for the pancakes, then the cranberry jam. After spreading it across the pancake, I started to eat.

"Can I..." I finally made eye contact with Amy, she held her breath "...get the sport page?" I asked looking at the newspaper in her hand

She looked disappointed for a fracture of second, like she had waited for me to say or ask something else, not sure what though "Sure," mom hands me the page and offers me a warm smile, when I take it out of her hand. I set the newspaper down and read it time after time.

"So, you want to to anything special today?" I raised my head up at Amy's question. She's holding her glass of milk in both of her hands. Her question made me wonder, if she did in fact know about today. Maybe she did. Maybe she had actually read my file. No other foster parent has ever cared.

Still chewing my food, I gazed at her "What do you mean? Why?" I asked, trying to keep it cool, not wanting to show how much of a toll this day plays on me. I was hanging by a thread as it was.

"Your mom," Amy replied simply, making me tense up. It gave me strange feeling, because no one has ever talked about my mom with me before. The topic about my mother always did feel like a taboo, like it was something I was not allowed to talk about before "Her anniversary. It has been 5 years. I thought maybe you want to go visit her?"

I shifted in my seat nervously and avoided her gaze.

"Maybe bring her flowers?" Amy suggested. Gosh, I loved that idea so much. "We should probably go and at least take the old ones off, from the last time you visited her."

I gazed back at her at her last statement. She had no idea. She was just trying to be nice, but she had no idea how bad of a daughter I am. "There was no last time," I wanted to tell her, but didn't. If I tell her that, she will think I'm a horrible person.

"You haven't been to visit her, have you?" Amy said after observing me. It didn't surprise me anymore. Amy was that good at reading me. Her being a cop, probably did help. She knew how a guilty person looks.

I nodded as an answer, but still avoid her gaze, worried about what I will see in them.

"You never been to visit her," Amy repeated quietly as if she was trying to understand it

"No," I finally spoke confirming it "I never had the money to go there, nor to buy her flowers," I explained hoping it was enough. Neither of those were really a reason. She could say – I could have walked. And it's not like flowers are always obligatory.

"What...what about the funeral?" Amy inquired. I looked down remorsefully as there was nothing I could say. "You didn't go to her funeral?"

"I wanted to, but my foster parents wouldn't take me. The Gerald's said it was too far, they won't ruin their Sunday to take me there and back. Also Benjamin said the gas money would come off the money they gave me for lunch and that would like leave me with almost nothing." I remember that he gave me 5 dollars for a week. I could barley buy a pastry with that for lunch.

"So you never went to see her? Not even one time?" She asked sounding genuinely curious and sympathetic

"No," I answered straight forward "I lived on Jackson Hill Drive with the Gerald's, but mom was buried at Miramar National Cemetery. It was too far for me to go to by foot, I never had the money to go by bus, nor did I know how to get to there," I started to explain, Amy was listening to me carefully, not wanting to miss one single word from what I said "The closest I live there, was with Anna and James Rask but it still was like 14 km (8.7 miles) from their house to the cemetery, that is like 3 hour walk if not more. And they didn't even know that it was the day my mom died, they didn't care. Actually no one ever cared, most of them just barely knew that I existed," my voice got quieter the longer I spoke as I I remembered how it felt to be ignored

I averted my gaze down to my hands "You are the only one who has taken any interest in this and the first person I talk about it for real, not just…being yell at. You were the first person to remember my birthday are the only one who talks to me and doesn't ignore me."

Amy reached her hand over the table, towards mine. But she doesn't take my hand, she leaves it on the table, palm up – offering her support and comfort for me. All I had to do, was come forward and accept it. I reach out and place my palm in hers. Her fingers wrapped around my palm, giving it a gentle squeeze.

"How about…we go buy your mom's favorite flowers and then go visit her?" Amy suggested gazing to my eyes

"You would do that for me?" I questioned, forgetting who I was talking to. She wanted me, she wanted me in her family. Amy has declared to me over and over how much she loved me. But sometimes, I still doubt it. Wondering what exactly had I done to deserve her love. My worst fear was that one day, she would change her mind.

"What kind of question is that, Callie? Of course I would. I will take you there every weekend if you like, to just get back the times you missed the important dates, honey. Of course I would take you. Don't ever doubt me like that again, Cal," Amy stated back without any hesitation, her voice firm, but soft and her eyes focused on me

"I doubt there are flowers to take off," I wondered out loud "I don't know anyone but Jude, who would actually care and visit her," I realized that I had let it slip out, when Amy questioned me back

"Who's Jude?"

I tried to pull my hand back, but Amy didn't let go. Holding on to my hand, she got up and walked around the table and took a seat next to me.

I had thought about telling Amy about Jude for a while now. But somehow it never had seemed the right moment. Before the accident, it never crossed my mind to tell her. I didn't trust her. I didn't think this was going to be permanent. There had been no doubt in my mind that the Scott's would ship me off after couple of weeks. I never lasted long in one place.

After the accident, while I did start to trust her around that time, it was not appropriate time to tell her. Amy was dealing with enough stuff. How could I tell her about Jude, while she was mourning her sons and husbands death. Hey, I know your family died and all, but I have a brother, who I haven't seen in years. Stop moping around and help me look for him? I just couldn't ask her that from her.

Then came the Liam thing, all the trouble with the CPS, my trouble in school. There was so much going on, all the time. No time seemed right. And the longer I kept quiet, the more it seemed like it was overdue.

Amy took my other hand in hers and held them tightly. My head was tilted down. Some of my hair had fallen down, over my face. I was hiding my face behind my hair and concentrating my focus on our hands. She was moving her thumbs over my palm. Her skin was so soft, her touch so gentle, so comforting. I heard moms even breathing, it matched with mine.

"Please, talk to me!"

Amy took her hand up to my face and moved the a stray of hair that I was hiding behind, aside "Callie, you can tell me…I will never hurt you. Never. You know that. All I want to do is help you, I want to get to know you."

"You already have other things to worry about, you don't need my problems too,"I answered, giving her one last chance to get out of this "I caused enough trouble with Liam already. I cost you too much already. And everything you have been thought the past few months…"

"Your problems are my problems too. You are my priority, got it!" Amy insisted "You will always be my priority. No matter how big or small your think your problems are, you can always come to me. I will never send you away. I will always be all ears for you, you will have my undivided attention. So don't ever think about saying something as silly as you just did. And you don't need to worry about money, that is my field, not yours!"

Wow, she really must love me. She must be crazy.

"We can figure everything and anything out together," Amy reminded me "You don't have to face everything in your life on your own Callie. I am here for you. No matter what it is, we can face it together. We are a team, I will always be on your side."

"My brother," I said still keeping my gaze down

I tilted my head up as Amy asked sounding surprised "You have a brother?" I nodded back, watching her closely. Wondering what she is thinking.

"Older?"

"Younger," I answered "He is 10."

"When was the last time you saw him?"

I shrug a little before I reply "5 years ago. The day after they told us mom is dead and dad is going to jail for manslaughter."

"You were separated when placed in foster care?" I reply to Amy's next question with a nod

Amy was quiet for a while. I could tell she was thinking, her gaze thoughtful, forehead slightly frowned.

"Have you heard anything from him? Anything at all? A letter? Phone call? Some e-mail form other family to your foster parents? A visit from your social worker anything?"

"No, nothing. But I doubt my earlier foster families would have cared that I have a brother. Even if there was a letter or phone call, I wouldn't have heard about it."

In the short pause I took, I remember my conversation with Donald few days ago "Donald said he was adopted…like 4 months in."

"That means he was in a good family, yes? A caring, loving family who are keeping him safe," Amy kept a positive thought about it, which I was thankful for. She always tried to see the good side of things.

"I guess so," I smiled back, agreeing with her. I still was envy with Jude. He got adopted so early on. I'm in the process off it, but I have no idea when will that be. We still haven't heard back from my birth fathers lawyer. It's been dead silence for days.

"Okay, so..." Amy spoke "Finish your breakfast, go change and then we will make a quick stop at flowers shop before heading to the cemetery. When we get back, if you are up to it, we can talk more about your baby brother Jude and figure out what to do next. Okay, sounds good?"

I bit my lower lip as I nodded.

"Good!" Amy smiled at me as she stood placed her hand on the back of my neck, leaned in and placed a kiss on my forehead

~o~o~o~

I took my time at moms grave talking to her, trying to make up for the lost time. There had been so much I needed to tell her. And all this time, Amy waited for me patiently, giving me as much time as I needed.

I was gazing out the side passenger window, counting the light poles we passed, when mom spoke "When you want to go visit her again, tell me, sweetie, okay?" I turned to Amy "I would love nothing more to take you," she briefly smiled at me before returning her gaze to the street

"Okay," I replied, meaning it "I probably have to go there in two-three days," I saw Amy quickly turn to me in the corner of my eye "To take the flowers off, you know?" I explained

"Just say, when!" Amy said as we pulled into our street

When we got closer to our house, we saw our lawyers car parked in front of our home. The lawyer herself was knocking on our front doors, her black briefcase in her left hand. As she heard us pull up in our driveway, she turned around watching us.

Amy and I shared a look, before we both got out of the car as our lawyer came towards us over the lawn. Her high heels few time stuck in the grass, but she managed to keep her stance.

"Did he sign them?" I questioned the second I stepped out of the car, slamming the car doors shut behind me

"Not exactly!" Our lawyer sighted and briefly looked down to her briefcase

"What does that mean?" Amy wondered as she came around the car

"Mr. Quinn wants Callie to do a DNA test, to confirm she really is his daughter," Our lawyer explained to both of us

"When?" Amy asked, watching how our lawyer opened her briefcase and reached in to look for something

"Tomorrow. At 10. His office headquarters," Our lawyer handed Amy a business card "Don't be late." Amy looked down to it

"Will he be there?" I asked, wondering if tomorrow is going to be the day I will meet him. It was exciting and nerve-wrecking at the same time. Made my stomach turn just at the thought of meeting him for the first time.

"Don't hold your breath, sweetie. Mr. Quinn is a busy man." She said in softer voice to let me down easy. The woman then turned to Amy "Meet me at the lobby before 10," she instructed us before leaving us standing on the lawn