Lord Darth Yoda - I don't think Aurine's going to change too much, honestly. She's introspective enough to know 'hey, I really went overboard here, lets not do it again.' But I could certainly see her choosing to stay on Ubrora and helping with the rebuild. Maybe she would even take a temporary break from the Order to do so. I also think that the Sascha-Aurine relationship is pretty firm by this point. But it has certainly been a while since Aurine saw Sascha...

Mr. Insane - I never really considered how Pravin would react to the clones - I think he'd consider them to be his 'troops' and want to protect them as much as possible. I generally think that (outside of General Krell), the Jedi tried their best to make sure the clones were used effectively and without having them throw their lives away - and I'd expect Pravin to be similar.

A/N - I like this chapter and I think its a good one, content wise - I just think it breaks up the momentum of the story a bit too much. At least we'll have an action packed chapter coming up!

Anyways please enjoy the next chapter.

Chapter 52: Tiplee's Burden, Part Two

I've been asked if I hope my son is a hero. I always answer, 'isn't that what every parent hopes for their offspring?'

No one has yet to find a good response to that.

-Excerpt from 'My Son, the Jedi' by Donah and Robry Whitestar

Jedi Knight Tiplee waited until nightfall before she made her way into Bontha proper. She had ditched her speeder an hour or two ago, hiding it in an out of the way section of forest before making her way towards the city, taking care to avoid any living thing in her way to a city that was under siege.

It was easier than it should have been. People stayed at home these days, it seemed. Tiplee hadn't noticed many Ubrorans out for a casual stroll or even tending their little gardens that seemed to be commonplace. She found that to be profoundly sad. Ubrora had been a planet that was so peaceful, it almost had seemed to be untouched by the malaise by of the Republic as a whole was experiencing. But the war had changed that dramatically. Average Ubrorans seemed to spend as little time as possible outside of their homes, clearly hoping to avoid the harsh reality of the outdoors.

But Tiplee knew that they were close to changing all that. If they could just play their cards in the correct manner, and get a little luck...they could free Ubrora. But to do that, she needed the Padawans to play a crucial role. Whether they would be capable of it seemed to be up in the air. So her job would be to get the Padawans in the proper mindset for the challenges to come. Whatever it took.

With night having fallen, the streets of Bontha were pretty much deserted. Still, Tiplee took no chances, moving from shadow to shadow to evade detection. Some Jedi would have found that distressing, having to sneak around and using shadows to conceal themselves. They would say that the shadows were of the dark side and that Jedi did not skulk in the shadows.

Tiplee fervently disagreed. Light made shadows, not the darkness. And Jedi Knight Tiplee was a source of light.

Tiplee paused an an intersection, stretching out with her senses to see if she could detect anything in the close vicinity. With her natural senses amplified by the Force, she could hear the faintest sounds of metallic clinking. As she waited, she heard the clinking getting slightly louder, indicating that it was coming in her direction. Tiplee assumed that what she was hearing was a droid patrol heading in her direction. It could have been a merchant towing his battered speeder through the streets too, but it paid to be cautious.

Sensing...something coming, she slunk into the shadows, hiding behind what appeared to be a deserted office building. A minute or so later, her suspicions of a droid patrol had proved to be correct. The droids clinked and clanked their way through the intersection, not even paying the slightest of attention to where she was hiding. For a moment, she dabbled with the idea of destroying this patrol – it was only eight droids, and the fight would have been easy, given she had the element of surprise. But she wanted to keep her presence in this city a secret, for now. So she let them pass.

Tiplee made her way to her destination in the city without further incident. She paused outside of Lirri Boikana's former home. It was a nice house in the middle of a nice neighborhood, totally unremarkable, really. The only thing remarkable about it now were the two beings inside. Still, Tiplee surveyed the outside of the house briefly, just checking that no one was snooping around. Satisfied that there was nothing untowards going on, she rang the chime and waited for someone to answer.

After several long moments, the door finaly opened, revealing Sascha and Nara, their lightsabers in hand, their posture suggesting that they were ready to attack. When they realized who was on the other side, both Padawans relaxed, and put their lightsabers away, "Sorry, Master Tiplee, we are a little on edge," said Sascha.

"I think if you were being attacked, your attackers would not ring the chime."

Sascha smiled, but his smile seemed to merely die on his lips. Her Padawan barely seemed to notice her quip at all. "Come on in, Master Tiplee, we are very glad to see you," said Sascha.

Tiplee and the Padawans went to the main living room in the home, a cozy room with three or four good places to sit in, and one couch that looked like someone had been using as a bed. Nara and Sascha quietly sat beside each other on the remaining couch, while Tiplee decided to keep standing.

"Why are you here, Master Tiplee?" asked Nara.

Her Togruta apprentice looked like she was out of her mind with exhaustion. Her head-tails seemed to be drooping, and Nara looked like she was having trouble keeping her eyes open. Sascha didn't exactly look much better. There were deep bags under his eyes and it looked like he had been crying recently. Both Jedi were wearing robes that were not their own. Sascha's looked like a reasonable imitation of his usual charcoal gray robes. Nara's new robe was purple and red, but was marred but what looked like several burn marks. Given that Nara was usually sensitive to the way she looked, Tiplee was surprised that she hadn't ditched this old robe for a new one. Either Nara had stopped caring or hadn't noticed, neither of which were good indications as to her apprentice's mental state.

"I am here because you need me to be here."

"Oh," said Sascha.

"More specifically I'm here to give both of you a rest. Is there anything I need to know before you both go to sleep?"

Sascha briefly outlined some details of working with the resistance. Most of which she already knew. Then he bowed his head and made his way towards a couch that had clearly been functioning as Sascha's bed. "I think I need some help to go to sleep these days. My body is tired, but my brain is too...active."

Tiplee went to the side of the couch where Sascha was getting comfortable and once she was sure that he was comfortable, she smiled slightly, "I will help you with that." Even the barest suggestion of sleep was enough to send Sascha into a deep slumber. Even if she hadn't used a Force suggestion to compel him to sleep, she thought that Sascha might have fallen asleep anyways.

Usually when people slept, they looked peaceful. Sascha still looked exhausted. Motherly intuition took over and she brushed Sascha's hair and face gently, hoping to be able to give him some of the peace that he so obviously needed.

She did that for a few moments before she returned her attention to her apprentice. Nara seemed to still be half-asleep on the couch, her large eyes struggling to stay open for anything more than a few seconds at a time. Tiplee moved to sit next to her, but was surprised when Nara bounced off the couch to embrace her in a massive hug. Then, to her amazement, Nara put her head into her chest and started bawling her eyes out, crying almost uncontrollably. It was perhaps the biggest outpouring of emotion she'd ever experienced from her apprentice, who had always had a degree of reservation to her, she always had seemed to be holding something back. Whatever those reservations had been, they were gone now.

She returned the embrace, massaging Nara's back gently and she guided the two of them back to the couch. And maternal instincts took over. She continued comforting her apprentice, until her crying fit eased. Unintentionally, she found herself stroking her hand down Nara's rear lekku. Her apprentice had never let her touch her lekku, and she knew that that honor was supposed to be reserved to those closest to a Togruta. One she realized what she was doing, she stopped herself.

"Don't stop. It's okay," said Nara's muffled voice.

"...are you sure apprentice?"

"Please."

Tiplee put her hand back on Nara's rear lekku and continued to stroke it gently. Nara nestled herself so that her head could fit comfortably in the crook of her arm. Nara let out a sigh of contentment, "I missed you so much, Master."

"I missed you as well, Nara," she replied. Tiplee was amazed at how naturally she had spoken those words.

"Everything has gotten so bad, Master," Nara whispered. "So much pain...so much suffering...so much loss. It's...too much. Too much for me to take."

"It will all be over soon. You just need to rest now. You and Sascha will have a big role to play still. We are going to end this. One way or the other." Tiplee adjusted Nara so that she was laying perpendicular on the couch with the Togruta's head resting softly on her lap. It was odd to be able to...handle Nara like this. Her apprentice was such a brave girl and she never let herself be physically...controlled like this. Sure, she had cried on her shoulder before, after getting her heart broken by a boy or after a particularly stressful mission, but this was different. Nara's emotional defences, defences that she'd once assumed were so strong that no one could break through them, were completely and utterly down.

Fighting a war would do that, Tiplee supposed.

"I'm sorry about your friend Lirri," Tiplee said.

"It's so hard to believe that she is gone," said Nara quietly. "She was so full of life, now I'll never see her again."

"I'm sorry," she said again.

"All we can do is go on and honor her memory," her apprentice said softly.

She brushed a hand down one of Nara's front lekku, "That's right, Padawan. Our job remains incomplete." She glanced over at Sascha's comatose form, "How's Sascha doing?"

Nara finally sat up, and she looked at Sascha longingly, "Every time I think he's going to break or he's reached his limit, he proves me wrong and keeps going. I don't know how he got so strong. I always thought that I was stronger than him, just because I could beat him when we sparred. I guess I confused one sort of strength for another."

"His strength comes from his character. And from his friends."

Nara turned to look at her, "From me?"

Tiplee shrugged softly, "In a way. I haven't been around Sascha all that much, but from what I have seen of him and what Aurine tells me, he is defined by his friends, and he draws strength from them. Including you. Perhaps especially you."

The Togruta turned her attention back to her friend, "I never thought of it that way. I think part of the reason I'm still going is because I've had him around."

"You two do seem to have a connection." Tiplee observed that Nara was still staring at Sascha as he slept, "You want to go over and cuddle with him, don't you?"

Her apprentice didn't even bother to deny it. "Yes. But it's not because I want anything romantic from him, but because I feel safe around him. Everything around me has gone crazy, but Sascha's still there, still that same old person that he was before the mission. He's the one thing that continues to be somewhat normal, somewhat safe."

She gently brushed a single finger down Nara's cheek, "You can go and cuddle with him if you like. I wouldn't judge you for it. I don't think that he would mind the comfort as well."

Nara surprised her by shaking her head slightly, "I want to, but I won't. Because I know he wouldn't like that. Sascha's not big on physical contact. He thinks its weird when we even lay close to each other."

"You are finally putting other people's desires in front of your own. I'm impressed."

Nara closed her eyes again and relaxed, settling her head back into her lap, "I think I've learned a lot about myself over the past few weeks."

"I'm glad to hear it, though I wish the circumstances were different."

"So do I."

"You should rest now," Tiplee said. "Would you prefer a healing trance or sleep?" The unspoken question was if Nara wanted to be able to dream. Sleep might present her with a dream, or a nightmare. A healing trance would not.

"I'll just sleep," Nara said, "But I'd like to talk to you first."

Tiplee blinked, not expecting that response, "Whatever you want to talk about, we'll talk about, Nara."

Nara's big eyes opened for a moment, "Thank you, Master." Her eyes then drifted closed again, "I wanted to tell you that I told Sascha about my parents. I...showed him the memory of me being taken away from them."

Tiplee couldn't keep the shock out of her voice, "You haven't even shared that memory with me. Or even the details." Tiplee had been made aware of Nara's slightly unorthodox path to the Jedi Temple, where her parents, instead of turning over their Force sensitive child to the Jedi at the usual age, had fled Shili and tried to keep their child from being taken from them. Only after several years on the lam, a Jedi Knight on an unrelated mission had detected a strong presence in the Force and had gone to investigate, finding the now five-year-old Nara Nalto and family trying to rebuild their lives. Tired of running, this time Nara's parents had agreed to give up their daughter.

"Sorry. I'd share the memory with you right now but," Nara yawned and stretched out before sinking back into the couch and her lap, "I'm too tired to do it."

Tiplee brushed her apprentice's face lightly, "That is okay, my apprentice. Why did you choose to share that memory with Sascha? What was his reaction?"

"I showed it to him...that night after Lirri died. I just wanted him to know where I came from, to know why I was the way I was. What is it that Sascha always says? Oh yeah, 'Pain shared is not pain doubled, but pain halved.' I now know that is true."

"Did he say anything?"

"He was...emotional about being showed that memory. I mean, the memory itself is emotional and Sascha's well.. he's an emotional person. He actually cried," she said, smiling slightly. "I was always afraid if anyone knew about me, that they'd look at me differently. Now I know that I was wrong." She opened her eyes and glanced up at her, "You knew, didn't you?"

"I would be a very bad Master if I didn't know," she replied. "I knew that your past was part of the reason that you that is why you are so reserved and had trouble making friends. That is why I have been so supportive of your friendship with Sascha. That, and I believe that you two will be working together for many more years to come. You two are a perfect team. Together you are balance."

Nara laughed bitterly, "That's ironic, because I almost killed him yesterday."

"How exactly did you manage that?" she said, alarm in her voice.

Nara sat up and rested her head on her shoulder, "I...kind of had a mental breakdown yesterday."

"And..."

The Togruta was silent for a couple of long moments, and Tiplee had to check and see if Nara had fallen asleep. She hadn't. She simply appeared to be collecting her thoughts. "I have this reoccurring nightmare," started Nara, "Based off the day I was taken away from my parents. There's this faceless Jedi that takes me away from my family and I can't stop it, no matter what I do – I'm powerless."

"That sounds...emotionally charged." To say the least.

"It is. Or maybe I should say it was."

"Was?"

Nara shifted slightly, "Yesterday I sort of had a mental breakdown after a battle. I started re-living my nightmare and I...don't think I was ever going to escape it. I was going to be trapped forever. That's when Sascha came along. He scooped me up and brought me back here. I guess I wasn't responding to him. He tried everything to get me to react...I think he even slapped me at one point. But I was...just gone."

Tiplee could hardly get her mind around these revelations, but something came to mind when she mentioned Sascha, "He tried to call me yesterday, he didn't get through as I busy. I suppose he was trying to call and tell me what was happening."

Nara nodded, "I think so."

"Continue with the story, my apprentice," Tiplee said, as she softly caressed Nara's face, giving her the emotional support to continue to tell her tale.

Nara closed her eyes and continued, "So, the story, as Sascha tells it, is that he couldn't get me to respond, so he used the Force and entered my mind."

Tiplee stopped brushing the Togruta's face, "Sascha did what!?"

Nara's big blue eyes opened, "He only did what he thought was right."

"Invading someone's privacy like that is not an action that any Jedi should take, unless it is the absolute last option," she said stiffly. "I will have a talk with Sascha about his actions."

Nara gripped her left arm firmly, "Listen to the rest of the story before you make a decision."

"You...approve of his actions?"

"I would have done the same," Nara said quietly but defiantly.

"Would you?"

"He tried contacting both you and his Master. What would you have him do, Master? Do nothing? He had no idea if I was hurt, if I was fading away. Non-action is an action too, Master."

"It was a difficult situation," said Tiplee, choosing her words carefully. "I would just hope that he made that decision not through fear or desperation, but dispassionately."

"It worked," said Nara quietly, closing her eyes again. "I'm here, having this discussion with you because of him. Take that for what it is worth."

Tiplee was deeply uneasy with what Padawan Whitestar had done, but that was proving to be a battle for a different day. "Why don't you continue with your story?"

The Togruta nodded, "So Sascha joins with me in my mind, and he got sucked into the nightmare too. I guess that Sascha finally managed to wake me up, but when I was awoken, I still thought I was in my nightmare. So I attacked Sascha, because I thought he was the Jedi that was taking me away from my family. So I tried to choke him to death."

Tiplee looked at Sascha. Now that she knew what she was looking for, she could see the signs of blunt force applied to Sascha's neck – the bruising had mostly faded, but it was still there. "You weren't holding anything back," she observed.

"No. I wasn't. I thought I was attacking the Jedi that had taken me away from my family…but I was only attacking my best friend." Nara shook her head slightly, "I wasn't myself, but I'm still ashamed of what I did."

Ashamed didn't really seem to be an adequate word. Nara had clearly been close to killing another apprentice – in the Temple that would have rated an administrative hearing at the very least. And probably expulsion. Out here…the rules were somewhat different. "What made you stop? Did you pull yourself out of it?"

Nara shifted uncomfortably, "Not really. Sascha was apparently able to press a thought into my mind as I was…killing him. What he said snapped me out of it."

"What did he say?"

"He…managed to get me to see that he was my family. That I lost my biological family, but gained another one in the Jedi."

"And that worked?" she asked.

"Yeah. It snapped me out of my nightmare. Just in time too. So I would say it worked."

Tiplee needed about an hour and a good stiff drink to help her take in these revelations. She had always known that there had been some trauma in Nara's past, but she hadn't expected something at the level that Nara was describing. She had also assumed that Nara would eventually confide in her and that they would both work together to solve the problem. She had apparently misread that situation. But it looked like it hadn't turned out too badly, despite the fact that she had almost killed Sascha. She'd probably like to talk through Nara's past more thoroughly, but it clearly wasn't the time for that talk.

"What happened afterwards with Sascha?" she asked.

"We...talked. I apologized for what I did. He forgave me...somehow. Then I went back into my nightmare, and I brought Sascha along with me."

"That does not strike me as a good idea."

Nara nodded in assent, "It probably wasn't. But we did it."

"And how did it go?"

Nara shrugged softly, "It went well. It wasn't a nightmare anymore. For the first time, I was in control of what was happening in front of me. I said goodbye to my parents and my sister. I told them that I loved them and they told me that they loved me in return." Nara's eyes glistened with tears, "I guess I had always wanted the chance to show my parents what I had become. I had always wanted their affection, but I realize now, that the affection that I wanted, the praise I really wanted was from you, Master Tiplee."

"And from Sascha, Aurine and the other Jedi," Tiplee said.

"Exactly. I want to be a real part of a family again. The Jedi Order."

Tiplee was getting choked up by the emotion of the moment, and she cradled Nara's head lightly in her arms. Nara, the fierce young woman, the Padawan that she had chosen to be hers, a person that was, for all intents and purposes her daughter was essentially admitting that she had replaced her biological mother in her life. She had never felt closer to Nara than at this very moment. "You will always have a place with me, Nara."

Nara's big blue eyes blinked, "I know, Master. I think I always knew. But I'm finally able to see it, to accept it. I was caught up in the past ever since that day I joined the Jedi Order. Now, I'm finally able to put that behind me, and be the person I was meant to be. The Jedi I was meant to be."

"I believe that the Jedi that you will become will be truly special indeed."

"Thank you Master. But I don't want to be special. I just want to be me."

"That is the key to becoming a true Jedi Knight, my Padawan. Only when you find inner balance can you start trying to bring balance to the rest of the galaxy."

"Oh," said Nara, her eyes glazing over as she considered her statement. "I guess I should have known that. That this was the first lesson that I truly enjoyed learning. I may die on Ubrora. But I'll die knowing who I am."

"You will not die here on Ubrora," she said vehemently.

"Really?"

"I will not let you fall," said Tiplee. And she meant it.

"It's not your place to decide my fate, Master," said Nara as she closed her eyes. "If I am fated to never leave this planet, I accept it."

Those were not the words of a young woman that was broken, it was more like the words of a young woman who was just finding her voice in the wider world. It was truly amazing to see the transformation that Nara had made over her time on Ubrora, it was as if Nara had simply skipped her teenaged years and become a young adult. And while she could hardly claim to have been the sole reason for the change, she was glad for it.

Tiplee patted Nara's head softly, "In some ways I'm glad to hear you say that. But it is not your fate to die here. Or anytime soon."

"And your sure of that?"

"Sure? Maybe not. Confident. Yes."

"What can I do to help?"

Tiplee smiled, "Right now? Sleep."

"Oh," said Nara, who shifted her position again, "I guess we just wasted a lot of time talking."

"That time was not wasted, my apprentice."

"Sorry, you are right. It was a good talk."

Tiplee patted Nara's cheek softly, "I'll take you to your room."

Nara nodded, "Okay. Thanks, Master."

Tiplee had expected Nara to object to being carried to her room, but Nara was clearly both exhausted and willing to let herself be handled in a motherly fashion. She stood, from the couch and then picked up Nara's prone form from the couch, carefully cradling the Togruta's head and settling it into the crook of her arm. She walked slowly up the stairs and to Nara's room, thankful for the fact that although Nara was a strong warrior, she was a rather thin girl. Once inside, she laid Nara onto her bed, and pulled the covers up.

With Nara already softly snoring in her bed, Tiplee leaned down and kissed the Togruta lightly on the forehead, "Goodnight, my child," she whispered.