Heeeyyy! Thanks for the reviews and sorry for updating so late again, I planned to update earlier but changed my mind when I decided to make this chapter longer.
Back at Kirino's place Kirino lay on his bed, taking a break from all his chores.
I'll take a short nap and get back to work later…. 20 minutes?
He set an alarm and drifted to sleep almost immediately, his encounter with Shindou pushed aside and consumed by exhaustion. This couldn't be healthy but what in his poor life was really "healthy" anymore?
Later that evening he woke again looking no worse than before, but that didn't mean much considering his terrible appearance before he fell asleep. He sat up looking utterly pathetic. Bags formed under his eyes and a permanent frown was developing on his poor, beautiful, stained face. He quickly turned away after catching a glimpse of himself in the mirror. He had barely rested his eyes upon his figure through the mirror but already it was so obvious how thin and frail he was beginning to appear.
But… I'm not hungry… I can't sleep well because of my endless responsibilities and….
I can't stand this anymore…
He admitted defeat calmly but surely. He did though, everyday too, in fact, but something still kept him going. He didn't know what but it was strong enough to keep him alive.
"No, I can't sit here thinking… I can't waste any more time."
He took in a deep breath,
"The sonner I finish, the sonner I can sleep again"
Standing up slowly, he made his way down the stairs and into the kitchen to prepare dinner. He made a simple dinner of rice and curry and set the table before quickly skipping up the stairs and into his room before his "family" could get home to nag him again non-stop about his billions of imperfections. He heard the front door open a few minutes later as he prepared for his shower.
Inside the bathroom, he stripped down to his boxers and as he hooked his thumbs over the waistband, he noticed only a second before that there was something wrong. Something was there by his mirror. He froze and stepped back for a second. Then deciding to go for it, he reached out to clear the mess by his sink and saw a camera. His eyebrows furrowed in confusion.
This… isn't mine…
His eyes widened, expression sinking to disgust.
Sasha.
With everything building up inside for so long, it'd be easy as fuck to storm down to give her a huge slap across her perverted little face or at the least destroy the camera with a huge slam to the ground at full force. She was his "sister" now for fuck's sake!
She deserved hell by now but Kirino didn't lift a finger. He was broken. He wasn't working quite right. How many "final pushes" had he suffered through? How much longer could he stand until he was pushed to his limit? What was a limit anyways? He just went on everyday despite every attack and punch thrown at him. How much more did he have to suffer? Why did his life have so much hurt…? So much pain...
Overwhelmed, he sank to the floor as tears began to fall one by one. The small boy brought his knees to his chest, head in his knees as he fought back a scream by pulling at his hair. After a few agonizing minutes of this suffering, he fell almost limp, arms and legs hanging. He seemed to only be present, just there, sitting and staring lifelessly. He wasn't even mad at her anymore. Tears continued to flow down his face although his face was frozen expressionless.
What's happened to me…? Help? … save me… Please…
Back at Shindou's home, Shindou was curled on his bed sobbing his eyes out.
How much pain is he in? How much has he suffered through to look so worn out and so beaten as he looks now?
Shindou knew Kirino wasn't a messy guy and he was very girly when it came to hygiene and cleanliness.
(FLASHBACK)
SHINDOU'S POV.
It was after soccer practice one day and I had forgotten to bring a change of clothes. I'm normally a fairly clean person but Kirino easily tops me in cleanliness. I took a shower, dried myself and I was about to put on my school uniform that I had worn earlier that day when I heard Kirino speak.
"Shiinndouuu!" He whined, his bottom lip sticking out in an adorable pout. "Don't do that!"
I froze in what I was doing and looked to see Kirino standing behind me. I only laughed and shrugged.
"It's all I have and it's not even that bad." I replied.
His response was the cutest thing I had ever seen although I would never openly admit that.
He just shook his head back and forth with a slightly scrunched up expression as his hair flew back and forth in his pigtails. When he stopped he explained,
"Dirty is dirty, no matter how dirty!" he said with a childish passion.
It was really getting to me at this point and I gave in, asking him for an answer.
"Well then, what am I to do in my situation then?"
He thought for a second before going to his locker and taking out his spare uniform. He always had it in there in case of an emergency. He always had the uniform he wore to school, the change of clothes he would wear after soccer practice and a spare uniform when he went to school. He was so particular and organized it was always a wonder to watch.
(END OF FLASHBACK)
He smiled a pained smile at this memory.
I wish we could go back to these days… the days when we were happy… when he was happy…
Kirino sat on the bathroom floor for hours before drifting off to a poor sleep. He found himself constantly being woken by little nothings despite his exhaustion. He didn't dream or think much, but one thing still hovered in the back of his mind. One thing never left and would sometimes flow to the surface of his mind. That one thing was his only hope but his ultimate fear at the same time. It was Shindou.
He needed him and wanted him but was terrified of rejection. Kirino was mess at that moment and he knew it. He both looked and felt like complete and utter shit. Slowly, he came back to reality and tried to push out all his heavy thoughts of disappointment in himself weighing down on him. He stood and looked at the time.
2:03AM
He took a shower and crawled into bed thinking of Shindou. He found his heart beating fast and scolded himself over it. He knew he was exhausted but he wouldn't get any good sleep anyways so he let his mind wander despite his conflicting emotions. He thought back to when he was still in school with Shindou…
I know he confessed but he doesn't mean it anymore… there's no way… he can't mean it anymore.
After seeing me like this he should be disgusted
Kirino desperately wanted and needed Shindou but who was he to reach out and get what he needed, much less wanted. Who was he to be happy?
I'm just a worthless piece of shit… like mother says… just like everyone thinks…
It was Saturday and Shindou was up early. Piano lesson, English tutors and home teachers for the entire morning from 7-12 kept him busy but he couldn't focus on one thing throughout the day. All he could think of was Kirino. After all his leessons were done, he found himself in his room, on his bed, squirming restlessly. He sat still for about a minute before deciding he had to do something.
I can… write Kirino notes! And… wait… I wouldn't be able to give it to him…
His face contorted in a frown at the thought of the people at Kirino's place.
Julia, Sasha… and that witch they call their mother…
He knew he would not be welcomed one bit by Sasha or their mother and overly-welcomed by Julia. He considered baking something or bringing a meal over in hopes of being more welcomed but even so, he doubted he'd be able to see Kirino for long if at all. Worse case scenario would be being rejected with the front door slammed in his face… or worse yet, being dragged to Julia's room. It wasn't very unlikely to happen and he knew it.
The boy cringed at the thought. Then it hit him
I can go sneak through his window sometime…
He was never one to break rules or do things in secret but he just had to see Kirino. It was for his friend's own good too. Shindou wanted to make sure he was doing okay, and at that it was decided. Shindou was going to carry out his plan sometime that evening and spent that afternoon fussing over what he should wear and trying to come up with things to ask or chat about.
He didn't know what got into him or why he was so nervous from eing away from his firend for so long. Kirino was his good friend, his BEST friend and he was nervous.
He sighed trying to pull himself together. It was 7:00PM then and he had planned to go any time now. He had already told his parents he'd be away at a friend's house, so what was he waiting for?
Shindou stood up and stretched, trying to calm his nerves. He quickly changed into the outfit he picked out. Just a pair of black skinnies and a simple white polo. He wanted to look casual but good-looking too. Fancy but not too fancy. But his "casual" would be somewhat fancy as well. He frowned at his doubting of his earlier choice, wondering if it was fitting
7:30PM
Time was passing by so quickly and it shocked hi to an extent that he had just spent over an hour, the time spent now and earlier, deciding on his clothing choice.
But still… wouldn't the polo look too dorky?
He smacked himself on the face trying to pull himself together and in the end, he settled on a nice long-sleeved shirt and spent about a minute more fixing up his hair before he finally left.
The entire walk to Kirino's house was so nerve-wracking for Shindou. He was only a block away and he could feel his heart pounding hard in his chest. He almost couldn't believe that he was going to see him soon. He missed the boy so much, even more than he realized. At school he didn't make any new friends, he never felt the need to. And although he had the rest of the team to hang out with, it just didn't feel the same without his best friend.
Before he knew it, he was in front of his house. It was 8o'clock by then and the majority of the lights in the house were all on, shinning bright through the dim evening. He walked to the side of the house, looking up to the pink haired boy's room. The light was on low and he couldn't see anyone through the glass
There was a wooden door beside the house, leading to the backyard. His room was above the bushes and a window, on the second floor in the backyard. Shindou knew the house well enough to know that the door to the backyard was never locked so he pushed it open slowly and looked up the wall to the boy's window. This would be hard but he was determined. The wall had enough small ledges and he was ready. Kirino usually kept his window open and he could see it open a bit now. The only thing that could go wrong would be someone finding him or him slipping on the wall. But pushing those thoughts aside, he took a deep breath and began the climb.
Yay! Finished chapter 16! Sorry again for updating so late but I tried to make this chapter longer.
Thanks so much for the reviews, they really help a ton!
Please leave a review and let me know how you think it was!