Little Mac blew out a puff of air as he jogged out of the mansion. He promptly returned to the building after an hour of restless exercise.
If frustration was a key part of training, Mac skipped it every day. It took one to be a sore loser and deny defeat with great motivation, but self-control was also something that needed to be controlled. Little Mac preferred going through trials of patience rather than trials of forced improvement.
Taking a deep breath, the boxer headed to the cafeteria.
From what he heard, there was an ongoing tournament season that neared an ultimate conclusion. Until then, he would be doing friendly battles with the Smash Brothers challengers.
It actually sounded like a good idea to him, as it would give him more time to analyze his opponents. So far, he still had a lot of room to improve. He had quickly enhanced his original fighting style he carried from his boxing career; all he needed to do was adjust the tweaks the made to it.
As he walked to the cafeteria's direction, he came across a huge ape who looked familiar. He took a closer look, and then he noticed that the ape was eying him in a similar fashion as well.
The ape had a red tie that had the yellow letters "DK" on it.
Little Mac and Donkey Kong remained still as they stared at each other wordlessly.
"…"
"…"
A moment later, a familiar battle arose in their memories. Both of them remembered Donkey Kong bursting out of a barrel on a boxing ring. They also remembered Little Mac getting pummeled around by the ape.
And of course, both of them were unable to forget the fact that Little Mac landed a Star Punch on the powerful ape in a boxing match.
"…Hey," Mac said, feeling unusually motivated to speak first.
"…Heyo."
It took Little Mac many months after first encountering Donkey Kong in a boxing match to find out that the ape could talk.
"How's it going?"
"Not much going on for Donkey," the ape referred to himself in third-person manner. "What goes for Mac?"
"…Not much."
"Ooh."
The WVBA champion and the monkey hero fell silent for a few more moments. After dragging out the silence a bit longer, Little Mac admitted,
"That boxing match we had was fun."
"Donkey agrees."
"We should fight again sometime."
"Donkey agrees again."
How strange. Little Mac was better at talking to aliens than he was with actual humans. Perhaps he found it less pressuring to be honest about himself with living beings that were not relatable to him.
"Donkey has to go," Donkey Kong stated, "so Donkey will go."
"Bye."
Waving at Little Mac, Donkey Kong headed towards where Bowser's room was located. A few seconds later, the sound of something getting punched echoed across the mansion's lobby. It seemed that a certain reptilian did something to the Donkey Kong… like the many other reptilians that bothered the monkey.
The lightweight boxing champion blinked as he turned away, resuming his walk to the cafeteria.
He soon walked into a completely empty cafeteria.
Strange, Little Mac thought. And indeed, it was strange. Absolutely no Smash Brothers contestant was present.
That meant a peaceful snack for the hungry Mac.
The boxer claimed two burgers as he walked over to one of the many empty tables with a filled tray. He picked the table he sat at the most and ate in silence.
Time passed on as he ate alone with no one else to talk to.
But alas, time knew when to leave those who forgot about it and fly around furiously. A good amount of time used to consume burgers eventually passed on uneventfully.
At least, that was the case before explosions rang outside of the cafeteria.
Oh, how little peace existed in the mansion. Not that his opinion mattered.
As soon as the first explosion erupted, dozens of intense phantasms of fire and dark energy approached the cafeteria.
They had returned.
How glorious.
Little Mac watched the constant cluster of explosions head over to the food pickup area before erupting its way to one of the lunch tables. After placing their trays on the table, Captain Falcon and Ganondorf slammed each other away.
At this point, the lightweight boxing champion had grown accustomed to the frequent battles Captain Falcon and Ganondorf contended in. Whether or not that was a good thing, Mac did not want to think about.
But surely, it would have been bad for him not to get used to the chaos. Keeping himself adjusted to his foes was one of his key strengths in boxing.
Keeping that in mind, the boxer got up and left the cafeteria, ignoring the concoction of madness close by.
The boxer found himself sitting in his own dormitory again. Once in a while he would do sit-ups and push-ups whenever he felt that he did not keep his body in shape enough. Most of the free time he used that did not involve exercising was simply spent on channel surfing through his television.
His eyes locked on the television, Little Mac channel-surfed with the skill of a semi-pro couch potato. He did not feel ashamed, however, as he tended to be the complete opposite of a couch potato for the most part. Biting out a good chunk of the chocolate bar in his hands, Little Mac flipped the channel to the infamous Fire Emblem channel.
And again, he found the interesting story of Roy being broadcasted in the most convincingly believable show ever.
Roy and the Fire Emblem
Produced and directed by Crazy Hand
Based on a story I think is real
Episode 2: Minish Cap
Roy, son of Eliwood, went all the way to Pherae, a district of some country that got rekt by some bandits that wanted to have a chat with the king. Seeing Roy's worthiness, Eliwood believed in his son a bit too much and suddenly told Roy that he was in charge of of taking the Hurray army to the place known as Araphen.
While he was going, he met a cleric named Elen.
Elen Jaegar.
She didn't have an actual last name so I had the decency to make one for her.
Elen begged Roy to save her mistress, who was captured by the one and only Rude. Rude was a part of the turks and had the mission to kidnap the Ancient. Unfortunately for him, the team known as AVALANCHE always stood in his and his comrades' way, making it hard for him to capture-
Actually, that's the wrong script.
Rude the Dude is actually a punk-a#% knight from Bernstein. He's practically invincible against the unarmed, and he's extremely vulnerable to the armed.
In other words, he was fodder for the plot.
"Thank you," Elen praised Roy as he suplexed Rude. "You are a wonderful and nonviolent knight who has been tasked with slaughtering thousands in your way."
"No probs," Roy said as he frontflipped towards her. "I'm just a knight who became one a few minutes ago, anyway."
But just when Roy thought that Elen was not enough, the mistress Elen wanted to save popped up. It was Guinivere.
"I'm Guinivere, princess of Berns."
Roy tried to suplex her as well, but before he destroyed her she explained, "My half-bro's insane."
"Orly?"
"Ye. I wanna meet Hector."
"Hector's my homie. I'll take you to him."
Guinivere fell in love with Roy's determination.
Roy tripped over a rock. It intensified her admiration for him.
Soon Roy's expanded group goes to Araphen but WHAT'S THIS?! ARAPHEN GOT BODIED BEFORE ROY WAS ABLE TO TALK HIS WAY OUT OF MORE ENEMY WARRIORS? What would happen next?
He killed the enemy of course.
I mean, that's practically what he's supposed to do.
End of Episode 2
Little Mac nodded to himself. It was official; some things on TV were somehow worse and better than other programs in an ominously amusing way.
He turned the television off as he got up.
There were plenty of fighters he did not face yet. From what he knew, most of them were anxious to have a battle with him. Some lacked interest to attend friendly battles with him, but no one he knew of actually wanted to outright avoid fighting him. It was a good thing, considering that practice determined most of a fighter's capability to adapt.
Just before he walked into his kitchen, he heard something knock on the door. The WVBA boxer walked over to his dormitory's entrance and opened the door.
Much to his surprise, Ike, the mercenary hero, stood in front of him with a gigantic backpack on his back. In fact, the bag was as big as fifteen crouching Little Macs.
Fifteen crouching Little Macs. That was literally as tall as the boxers Little Mac faced in the World Video Boxing Association.
"Hi," Ike said with a stoic expression. "I'm Ike."
"…Hi," Mac responded with an equally stoic expression. "I'm Mac."
"Can I stay over?"
"…Why?"
The blue-haired mercenary turned to the hallway behind him. Little Mac squinted as he leaned to the side.
Several explosions echoed from the mansion. There were also the battlecries of certain people he recognized such as Robin, Lucina, Captain Falcon-
Suddenly, Little Mac came upon the revelation as to why Ike would want to move into his room.
…But then again, Mac did not mind having visitors. Even if they stayed for prolonged amounts of time. His dad used to let in guests that somehow stayed in his old house for months, so it became a part of the norm for him.
"…Come in," the boxer decided, letting Ike sigh in relief as his journey in finding a stronghold came to a temporary end.
The mercenary walked into the room as his tension partially subsided. Ike always seemed like the kind of person who would charge right into frantic and random battles with unparalleled courage, but then again there was no real reason to get injured for no reason.
Ike blinked as he looked around the room.
"…Do you really live alone in this dorm?" He asked, plentifully surprised at how large Mac's dormitory seemed to be compared to several others' he went to before. The boxer nodded as he shut the entrance door, walking to the kitchen again.
As Ike continued to look around the dormitory out of curiosity, Little Mac took out a bag of potato chips that he found loitering around the kitchen. He opened it and headed to the living room.
Ike put his bag down next to the couch at the living room. With his belongings on the ground, the mercenary sat on the couch.
"This place is pretty good," the blue-haired warrior admitted.
Mac nodded. In fact, the dormitory was a bit too good. He would have preferred having a smaller dormitory that fit his preferences more, but then again it would make him seem picky to deliberately demand for interior designs that match his tastes.
So he did not say anything about it.
"I'll be going out to grab pizza," Mac told the blue-haired hero.
"Can I watch what the electrically-powered televising box has to offer?"
"…You mean the TV?"
"Yes."
The boxer nodded as he went to his bedroom to dress up.
Donning a grey jumpsuit, the boxer left the mansion with confidence in his "ultimate disguise." Surely, if no one recognized him it had to be because of how simplistic his disguise was. Little Mac preferred keeping his fashion simple no matter how much he needed to keep himself from being followed by a mob of people and creatures alike that wanted to shake his hand simultaneously.
He jogged down to Central City alone.
According to Ness, the boy who always seemed to get kicked by Ganondorf at least once per three days, there was a pizza delivery service known as "Mach Pizza." Though the pizza delivery service usually received orders by phone or online payment, it was still possible to order inside the store itself; Mac would have to bring the pizza to his dormitory, however, as he did not have Mach Pizza's phone number.
When he asked Ness if he had the phone number, the boy informed him that Ganondorf's kick destroyed his cell phone not too long ago. And nobody else actually seemed to know of Mach Pizza's existence aside from him, so he decided take matters to his own hands.
Apparently Mach Pizza had once shut down shortly after Ness saved his own planet, which had mysterious similarities to Mac's own world. After Ness joined the Smash Brothers, however, the deliveryman was requested upon to start a pizza store in Master Hand's handcrafted Central City. Thinking that declining the request would result in his own death, the resilient deliveryman and owner of Mach Pizza reopened the store's doors.
A few good minutes allowed Mac to find Mach Pizza. It really did look like a delivery service store.
"Welcome to Mach Pizza!" Mac heard as he entered the store. "We only deliver here!"
The boxer walked up to a petite employee who stood behind a counter, her smile screaming "kill me." Though the boxer did not understand why he was able to detect the agony of standing in front of the counter for over six hours without doing anything else, he decided to lessen the employee's suffering by requesting, "I'd like the phone number for this place."
"One moment please."
A minute later, the WVBA boxer received Mach Pizza's phone number. The employee told him to make an order by calling despite the fact that he was literally standing in front of her.
So Little Mac nodded and proceeded to actually call her despite being right in front of the employee.
"Yes, this is Mach Pizza! What would you like to order?"
"What pizzas are there?"
"Our medium pizzas are all out, but we have small pizzas and large pizzas!"
The boxer contemplated upon what kind of pizza he should choose before deciding, "I'd like a large pizza."
"Thank you very much! That will be two-hundred thirty-eight dollars!"
"…"
If the price did not make Little Mac blink out of sheer confusion, the straightforward way the employee stated the price would have done the job anyway.
"…Actually, I'll just take the small pizza."
"Oh, alright! That will be forty-eight dollars!"
How expensive is the medium pizza, anyway? Little Mac thought as he hung up before standing still, his arms crossed. He did not leave the delivery service store.
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Mac glanced at the employee, who remained still in front of the counter with the same smile she held for who knew how long. He had to admit, her job might have been harder than his entire WVBA career. There were not many people in the universe who were able to stand still for hours; doing nothing but standing sounded like an absolute nightmare to him.
A job where he had to do nothing but stand and talk…
That sounded a bit like Super Macho Man, actually.
Three minutes later, the boxer got his pizza ready and went back to his dormitory. He ignored the fact that some of the mansion's windows were broken.
Author's Notes:
I said I would updated this on 12/18/2015 but I updated it on 12/22/2015. Happy birthday to me, I guess.
Next chapter: "How To Talk To Samus!"