The Loss

It was during their 4th grade year that it happened. Bertholdt, Reiner, and Annie were out playing on the swings during recess when they noticed one of the aids approaching them, and vice principal Zoë at his side. Reiner ceased his pushing of Bertholdt who had been laughing playfully until that point, and Annie who was rocking quietly next to them had also stopped to observe the faculty.

The aid, Keith Shadis, a tall and lanky man with both a vicious bark and bite, focused his attention on Bertholdt and said softly, but with a bit of sharpness, "Bertholdt Fubar, I'm going to need you to come with us. Your mother is here to check you out, due to a family emergency which has recently popped up."

Bertholdt felt his heart skip a beat. He was 99% sure he knew what had happened, and he felt tears begin to swell in his eyes as he hopped off the swing. He approached the aid and VP, who in her kindness smiled and offered him her had which he gratefully took. As they walked off towards the east doors of the school, the young boy gave one glance back at his friends who sadly smiled and waved, and he returned the gesture. The aid dropped Ms. Zoë and Bertl off in the building before returning to his duties at recess, and the duo make a quick stop by Bertholdt's classroom to get his backpack before continuing to the main office.

Reiner watched Bertholdt's back until he and the vice principal were out of view in the building, before turning his attention back to Annie. "Wonder what that was about," he mused, trying to make sense of what Mr. Shadis had said.

"Are you stupid?" Annie said with spite, her words stinging like venom.

Reiner wasn't a very smart kid and he knew it, but he didn't appreciate his intelligence being questioned by others. "What the heck?" He retorted.

"It probably is something to do with his dad," she continued, looking unapologetic for what she said. "Don't you remember? It was just last week that he was telling us his dad's cough had been getting worse and he was even throwing up blood into the toilet one night. He has been outliving the doctors' expectations, so maybe it's just his time."

"Oh yeah," Reiner really did feel stupid. He shuffled forward to sit on the swing himself but didn't pump at all, and instead stared down at the gravel which he occasionally scuffed with his shoe.

Annie leaned back and gazed up at the clear September sky. There were no clouds, and the temperature was just perfect. Not to hot, yet also not too cold. The summer had been lasting into the late months it seemed, and the school children had been enjoying it. "I hope he'll be okay," she mumbled, not really intending for Reiner to hear.

"Bertholdt's dad?" The blond boy asked, oblivious as ever.

She gave him a sidelong glare. "No, Bertholdt, you idiot. I don't give two craps about his dad; he's the one putting his family under all that stress and worry. It's our friend I'm worried about. I just hope if something major has happened, that he will find the strength to come back to school, where we can comfort him, and a lot better than that idiot mother of his," her gaze never drifted from the sky, and a gentle breeze swooped into the valley which blew her bangs away from her face; one of the rare opportunities to see Annie's ice cold eyes.

Reiner looked at her for a second, trying to read her expression, but he found none, then proceeded to stare up at the sky with her. Off in the distance he could see some ominous-looking clouds who, judging by the direction of the wind, would most likely shower on their area in maybe an hour or so. As he stared down the future storm, he heard his name being called from across the playground. His attention was diverted to Eren, who was waving him over to wrestle with himself, Connie, Jean, and Marco. Being the roughhousing hooligan he was, he couldn't deny their offer and quickly abandoned his post at Annie's side to join their shenanigans. The second he left his swing, a group of boys who had been prowling nearby and waiting for someone to give up their spot pounced on the opportunity, the leader of the group claiming the seat for himself while the other two pushed him.

Annie gave them a look of disgust before determining that she didn't want to swing by herself, so she slid off her seat and slinked up next to the group of girls which included Mikasa, Sasha, Christa, and Ymir. Also Armin who wasn't quite a girl but was feminine enough to be one. They gave her a half-hearted hello when she appeared next to them, but their attention was quickly returned to the group of roughhousing boys as they grunted, laughed, and rolled around in a big ball of sweat and flailing limbs.

They heard a whistle come from across the playground and everyone stopped to see an angry-looking Mr. Shadis marching over the wood chips to their location. Mikasa, being protective of Eren as she was, quickly grabbed the boy by his collar and pulled him out of the mess, grabbing Armin also and dragging them away from the soon-to-be trouble that would ensue. Annie saw this coming also but figured that Reiner could do with a good chewing-out so she simply folded her arms and leaned against the monkey bars, waiting for the show to start. As the aid arrived and began to chew out the boys for causing a ruckus, Annie smirked at Reiner's flustered and guilt-stricken face. She soon got bored however, and let her gaze wander over to the doors where Bertholdt had exited earlier, and she wondered how the boy was doing. The aid eventually left the boys off with a warning, before resuming his duty of monitoring the playground. The bell rang soon thereafter, and Annie wouldn't let Reiner live up the fact that he almost cried because he got in trouble for the rest of the day, until the final bell rang and the students disembarked to go home.

Bertholdt didn't return until the next week, and the moment Reiner saw the tall boy sitting at his desk on Monday morning, he threw his backpack onto his own desk before charging across the room to snatch his friend up in a massive embrace. "Berthoooldt!" He shrieked while nearly suffocating the boy to death.

"Argh! R-Reiner...can you let go please? I can't...breathe," Bertl gasped, attempting to get air into his lungs.

Reiner immediately let go and stepped back, rubbing the nape of his neck in embarrassment. "Heh. Sorry, I just got so excited to see you. Where were you, by the way? Annie and I missed you. We were really worried."

Bertholdt's small smile that was feint across his face quickly dropped back into a glum expression. "Oh," was all he managed as he turned in his desk to face the table top again, back slouching even more than before. He slid down in the chair a bit, so now his head was about at Reiner's waist.

Reiner quickly realized his mistake and took the seat next to him, before trying to blurt an apology. "S-sorry, I didn't mean to-" he didn't get very far before the taller boy quickly threw himself onto the brawny blond, his arms wrapping tightly around Reiner's middle and his face burying itself into the crook between his head and shoulders. "Bertl wha-" Reiner was surprised to say the least, but he was soon interrupted by a quick, sharp sob which escaped from his friend's body, followed by another, and another. He wanted Bertholdt to feel safe in his embrace, so he quickly wrapped his arms around the tall boy, returning the tight squeeze. He didn't say anything else for fear that he would say the wrong thing, and he was glad that they were always in class a good 15-20 minutes before the rest of their classmates arrived. The teacher was luckily also out, probably making some copies of their assignments for the day.

Bertholdt let himself release all of the feelings he had been containing these past few days, glad to have a friend like Reiner there for him to take them. He didn't want his friend to feel awkward however, and let go after a while, sitting back up straight while wiping away the tears that had escaped with the sleeve of his navy blue sweater. His body still betrayed him by giving the occasional hitch as he calmed himself down, sniffing back whatever tears tried to sneak out again. After about five minutes, he was nearly back to normal, but his eyes were still red and puffy from crying. He turned to face Reiner again who had a genuinely concerned look on his face, and he smiled at the thought that he had someone who cared so much.

He gave a bit of a tired sigh before speaking again. "Thanks Reiner. And, sorry you had to see that. I just...it's just that-" he felt himself beginning to cry again and he got angry at his fragile emotions.

The blond boy gently placed his hand on his friend's shoulder, offering a soft smile. "Hey Bertl, don't even worry about it. I'm here for you whenever you need it."

Bertholdt smiled back at him weakly, then continued on with what he was going to say, is voice shaky with emotion. "W-well...I guess I'll start from Wednesday, when my mom came to check me out. So after I left my mom told me that my dad was in the hospital because he all of a sudden couldn't breathe at work and he passed out and so his coworkers called 911 and they came and got him and so my mom had just come to get me while she was on her way to the hospital," he paused, taking in another uneasy breath. "So when we got to the hospital, the doctor came out and told us flat that he probably wouldn't make it through the night because the tar buildup in his lungs had gotten so bad that they had to hook him up to a machine that breathed for him, but most of his body systems had shut down due to the lack of oxygen. Then the doctor told us we had a choice. We could either keep him on life support and just see where things went, or we could take him off and he would die instantly."

Reiner looked at his friend's hunched position and grim expression. The boy looked so sad and tired; it really pulled at Reiner's heartstrings. "So then...what did you decide?" He asked, concern laden in his voice.

"My mom and I talked about it for a while. She called a couple of our relatives; his parents I think, and then we told the doctor our decision. We wanted to just put him out of his misery, so we had them take him off life support. And then after that, my mom and I just cried for a really long time. We stayed by his bed for a little while before the doctors came and told us that they needed to take him to the morgue. We went home after that, and it was 8 or something by then so my mom just put me to bed and said I didn't have to go to school for the rest of the week," Bertholdt sighed, and traced the scratches on his desk with a finger, but continued on. "Um, then we had the funeral on Saturday...there was a lot of people there, to say the least. I guess I never realized how popular my dad was until there were over 100 people there," He gave a half-hearted laugh. But you should have heard how loud it was when they were all bawling their eyes out. I was one of them of course, so it was some pretty wild stuff. But, he looked so peaceful laying in the coffin. In his will he had written that he didn't want them to dress him up all fancy and stuff. You know what he said he wanted to be wearing when he was buried? The stupid shirt I bought for him in second grade...I saved up my money for like a year to get it for him, and I was lucky enough that they had a sale on it right before Christmas. He loved it so much, he wore it that whole week. And you know what a big Star Wars nerd he was-with that shirt having all of the characters in the entire series on the front he thought it was the best thing ever. So when I saw him wearing it in the coffin I just...ugh, it was too much for me. I swear I couldn't stop freaking crying. The rest of the weekend was really dull, we just stayed and home and lazed around. Now that it's just me and my mom things have gotten a lot quieter...my dad really was the life of the house. I miss him so much, Reiner. I'd give anything for him to be alive right now."

The blond boy was really shocked at all of this. He knew Bertholdt's dad's days were numbered but he never expected him to go out just like that. It just goes to show how you should treasure every day like it's your last and be as close as you can with your friends and family to your last breath. Reiner ruffled the tan-skinned boy's hair. "I'm really sorry. I really am. Your dad was a great guy, I'm glad to have met him a couple of times. I hope your mom does a good enough job of taking care of you, or else I'll have to be your dad!"

Bertholdt gave a quiet snicker, before looking at his friend with gratitude in his eyes. "Thanks Reiner."

"No problem! And hey you know what? Why don't we chase down the ice cream truck after school today, huh? It's always in my neighborhood after school on Mondays so maybe you can come over?" Reiner gave Bert a huge grin, showing off his pearly whites.

Bertl smiled back. "Yeah. That sounds good." It was then that Annie walked into the classroom. The trio sat at a table which had five desks, two on each side and one at the head. Bertholdt sat at the head with Reiner on his left and Annie on his right. Most of the students who had been in their first grade class were in their classes for the following years, including this. She was surprisingly calm as she hung her backpack on the back of her chair and seated herself, scooting in and neatly placing her arms on her desk with her fingers laced. She breathed in through her nose, exhaled, then continued to throw herself upon Bertholdt, squeezing the life out of him in a very tight embrace.

"Where have you been?!" She exclaimed, lifting herself off him and squeezing his cheeks between her hands tightly.

With his face squished up and looking like a fish, the tan boy tried to mumble out, "Some pretty...intense...stuff...can you let go of my face please?"

She stared deeply into his eyes, furrowing her brows before releasing his head, resuming her collected position on her desk. Bertholdt continued to retell the story he told Reiner, but he felt easier saying it this time and didn't get as emotional as he had when he told the blond boy. Annie was very sympathetic when he finished and apologized for viciously attacking him. The boys then invited her to go ice cream truck chasing and she accepted, making some snide remark about how she didn't have anything better to do.