Thank you so much for the reviews. It really means a lot to me :)
I also kind of forgot to mention this before... But I don't condone anything in this story. Just to make it clear.
MISAKI POV
As Usagi-San left, I laid on the couch and stared at the ceiling, thinking of all the new things I had learned.
While I was on the computer just minutes before, I had found some really interesting things. I was looking at pro-Ana websites, something called 'thinspo', and the effects of anorexia.
I wrote down tips and tricks in a small notebook, I now called it my diary. I was determined to write in it almost everyday. I wrote my first entry in the middle of my research, I weighed and measured my self in the bathroom.
Dear Diary,
I'm Misaki, that's all I am.
I found a really good way to lose all this weight.
I'm going to progressively eat less and less,
I can't just stop: cold turkey. That'd be torture.
Current H: 5'4
Current W: 117 lbs.
Waist: 23 in.
My goal is below 105 lbs, maybe Usagi-San would like me even more if I was actually attractive? :)
I hid the diary underneath the bed on my side. It was small, I was positive that no one would find it. Usagi-San is on his computer right now s-
" ...I forgot to clear the history." I whispered in defeat.
USAGI POV
Emails were sent back and forth between Aikawa and I. My current book's setting took place in San Francisco, which I had no knowledge of. Some research had to be done before I could start anything.
I quickly opened Google, this would only take a second to get done thankfully. I typed the letter S and a recent search had popped up.
"S...tarving Yourself?" I said aloud to no one in particular. Did Misaki search this up? I opened the browser history, too many thoughts were swimming through my head. I was starting to get a little anxious.
I saw words like Pro-Ana, thinspo, and anorexia. I didn't really know much about any of that stuff. I'm sure it was just for a health project or something... Right? Misaki's perfect.
I cleared the history and went back to doing my research. Something didn't feel right, but I ignored it.
MISAKI POV
Dear Diary,
Fuck! I forgot to clear the history
on Usagi-Sans computer...
I'm hoping and praying that he doesn't
see anything. Wish me luck.
...
It was 6 o'clock, meaning it was time to make dinner. I prepared curry with some miso soup on the side. I gave my self smaller proportions than usual. After setting the table, I yelled for Usagi-San. As of on cue, he came walking down the stairs and sat down.
"Thanks for the meal." He said before he started to dig in. I nodded before I unwillingly started to shovel food in my mouth. I looked up and saw Usagi was staring at me.
"What's wrong?" I asked him, nervous couldn't even begin to describe what I was feeling.
"I saw some things on my computer... Was that stuff for a school project?" He asked, I could hear worry in his tone. He wanted me to reassure him that everything was okay.
"Um, yeah! I knew nothing about it and needed to do some research..." All I was hoping was for was that he'd believe me. My major is economics, therefore that health project wouldn't really make any sense. Anything to ease his worry though.
Out of the corner of my eye I could still see his constant stare. I sighed in defeat and started to eat tons, I could fix it later so it was fine. When my plate was empty I lifted my self and gently put it in the sink, not bothering to wash it. I quickly made my way to the bathroom.
"Misaki, are you okay?" I heard Usagi-San's voice from below me, I was already at the top of the stairs.
"Yep! I just really have to go to the bathroom." I said right before I closed the door.
Bulimia... A serious eating disorder marked by binging, followed by methods to avoid weight gain. The definition was on repeat inside my head. I got on my knees and lifted the toilet seat.
I took a deep breath and just stared for a moment... I'm really doing this. I slowly brought my fingers to my mouth. Taking one last gulp of air, I shoved my fingers down my throat. Instantly, I felt the movement of bile coming up, I haven't thrown up in a while. I was hoping to be a silent puker... Unfortunately I wasn't. As heavy vomit made it's way into the toilet it splashed noisily. I gagged and coughed every time my throat wasn't clogged.
Heavy footsteps pounded up the stairs. The bathroom door was thrown open and I felt Usagi-San's hand rub small circles on my back. Once my dinner was all gone and into the toilet, I laid my head on the seat. I didn't care how unsanitary it was, I felt absolutely horrible. Usagi-San did care though, he grabbed me and pulled me into his lap as he sat against the bathroom wall. I leaned against his chest, I could feel his erratic heartbeat sync up with mine.
He pulled a towel down from the rack to the left of him and gently wiped the sweat off my forehead, as well as the vomit on my lips. He threw the towel to the side and used his other hand to rub my stomach, attempting to calm it. I let out a small squeak of discomfort, I didn't think it would be that bad...
We sat there for a few minutes, the both of us trying to calm down. The only sound you could hear was my harsh panting and the shuffling of cloth against skin.
"...Are you okay?" Usagi whispered into my left ear.
"Mmff..." I was trying to say 'mhm' but was too weak to say it correctly.