Mind Games (Ouran High School Host Club) Ch.15

Each day, each night, my memories seem to all come back. But most of those memories seem to be about my father. The more I thought about him, the more I feel so separated from him. But these memories sometimes seem to ease my pain and loneliness. It just felt right to remember what my Dad was like when he was still with us; with me. It was all I could ever think about.

Nicholas Kinmichi was my father. He had die at the age of twenty-six in a car accident nine years ago.

"Which flowers do you like, Alex?" My father used to ask me. His deep brown eyes searched through mine in curiosity. My father and I were strolling across our garden, picking flowers, and smelling its delicious scent. It our private place to hang out in our backyard.

"Um, that one!" I exclaim, and pointed to the roses.

"Oh? Which color?"

"The red ones." I smiled, as I careless the flower petals within my hands.

I sniff the aroma deeply, and sigh.

"Red represents love." He said, almost smiling. I nod in silent agreement, and closes my eyes while sighing out dreamily.

"I love the color, but I already know that red is not its original color." I said suddenly. I open my eyes and quickly look up at my father and notice his surprise reaction. I notice then that his half crooked smile form, while he knelt to my level to brush the strands of my hair away from my eyes. I giggle in response.

"Why do you think that?" He asks.

"Mother told me that a rose originally starts with one color." I said, while turning around to grab a white rose from the bush."She told me that every color starts with white, and it forms into different colors depending on their emotions. That one day this rose will express its own beauty."

Nicholas chuckles. "Well that's an interesting thought."

I giggle out again. "I think Mother is right, because one day this rose might turn red, or maybe yellow, or maybe even blue!"

"And is that why you love roses?" My father asks me.

I quickly nodded, and smile happily.

"Roses are like human emotions, and it shows themselves with their colors." I whisper, while looking down at the white rose lovingly."I hope this rose turns red, because I want its color to express how much I love my daddy."

I look up at my father once more. His perfect heavenly smile forms upon his lips as he welcome me with his arms. I took a step forward and hug him back with the white rose still in my hand."What's your favorite flower, daddy?"

"Mine?" He asks while he picks me up off the ground, as he began to walk back into the house.

I nodded.

"Hmm..." He said thoughtfully."I would say lilies."

"Why pick lilies?"

He set me down to stand on my feet as I stare up at him with a questionable stare. His sudden lips touching my forehead cause me to blush out in embarrassment.

"White lilies are as pure and beautiful as an angle." My fathers' words were light and playful, as it fills butterflies in my stomach."You are my white Lilly, my little rain drop."

I smile cheekily. " Well I love you too."

(*)(*)(*)

"Hello, earth to Alex?" Hikaru ask s he waves his hand in front of me.

I instinctively snap back to reality, and jumps back in surprise. "Huh?"

"What are you daydreaming about, Al-chan?" Honey asks from behind. I look back at him and then around the room.

I was still in the music room, my hands was full with empty teacups, with the Host Club still going on, and most of our customers curious eyes was staring at me from afar. I blink back tears, and try to focus my vision back to normal.

Did I just have a flashback in the middle of the day? I ask myself, and look around once more. Sebastian was serving tea at the tables across the room, where Kyouya and his customers was. Kyouya nodded thanks after Sebastian fills his cup, and Kyouya's customer's giggles at each other as they admire Sebastian up close. Sebastian lightly smile like a Host, when I notice his eyes suddenly met mine. His worried eyes question me, but I only shrug back in response.

"Hey, are you alright?" Haruhi ask, when she walks up. She was holding a tray of fill teacups.

I nodded. "Yeah, I was daydreaming."

"What were you daydreaming about?" Kaoru ask, as he also walks up. His right hand rested on his waist, as he shifts his stance.

I smile lightly as I thought about it. "I've been thinking about my father lately."

"Interesting…" Tamaki said from behind. "Will you mind telling us about him?"

I look at everyone, and they were all are expecting something from me. I let out a sigh, while setting the tray in my hand to the nearest table as I seated myself on the couch. Haruhi and Honey sat next to me, while our customers, Tamaki, and Mori-sempai pulled up their chairs to sit closer. Sebastian stand himself behind the couch, and above me, as he smile intently at the crowd. Kyouya stay where he was, and was still typing into his laptop. Though I knew he was interested enough to listen in on the conversation.

"What is your father like?" Honey asks.

"Does he look like you?" Hikaru ask.

"Where is he now?" Kaoru ask.

"Whoa, now hold on a minute!" I holler. They all flinch back at my sudden outburst. "Ask one question at a time, please."

"Um, then who goes first?" Haruhi asks, while looking around.

"I do!" Honey, Hikaru, and Kaoru said at the same time.

One of my eyes twitches in irritation.

"I suggest that we should play 20 questions, and ask only important, must know questions." Sebastian stated. All eyes are on him, and it gave him the full attention, so he continues."I'll start first then, Master?"

I jump when he calls on me. "What is it?"

"Your father has pass away, am I correct?" Sebastian asks, as he went right to the point. Everyone else gasp in shock at my butlers' straight forward question. He knew part of my past, so he made his question to get right to the point. He did the worst part of my question, and I am grateful to get it out in the beginning.

"Yes, he is gone." I said solemnly, but smile lightly. I look straight into Sebastian's eyes, and nodded gratefully at him. Sebastian bows his head in return.

"I'm sorry Alex, I, I mean we didn't know." Haruhi apologizes.

I shook my head."It's alright, no hard feelings. But, anyways, next question please?"

"What was your father like?" Honey asks. His big brown eyes were sorrowful after the last question.

"He was kindhearted." I started to say, as I remember my flashback."He wouldn't hurt a fly, he loves everyone and everyone loves him, he likes lilies, and he loves to cook."

"Does he look like you?" Hikaru asks.

"Well, everyone keeps telling me that I got my father's eyes, and my mother's hair, but other than that, I would say somewhat."

"Where was he born?" Mori-sempai asks.

"Paris, France."Everyone stops short of their question and I look up at them with questionable eyes.

"What?" I ask.

"Then are you from France, too?" Haruhi asks.

I nodded, and everyone gasp.

"You're like Tamaki!" Honey said excitedly.

"Alex is French like me!" Tamaki yells out happily as he jumps up and hugs me into the couch. I winced at the sudden embrace. "Though I'm part Japanese too, but who cares!"

"Wait, so then you transfer here, to Japan, just so you get to go to Ouran Academy?" Haruhi question me.

I nodded again, as I got loose from Tamaki's embrace.

"Is it because you were looking for your mother?" Kaoru ask.

I was taken aback by his question, but I nodded anyway.

"But now you already found your mother, shouldn't you have gone back home with her?" Hikaru ask, and Haruhi punches him in the shoulders for that.

"Ow! What did I do?" Hikaru protests at Haruhi.

I wasn't paying attention as I weigh out the question. Hikari is right; I should have gone back to France when I found Emily. But I also have Anne-Sophie's promise to finish too, so there's no way I can go back till I talk to Tamaki about it. So when can I? With these people around, it would be impossible.

"How many questions did we asks?" Tamaki asks.

"Nine." Sebastian answers for me. Then my butler added. "I've got another question for my master."

"Yes?"

"Why are you in the Host Club?"

The room when still as my body went rigid. The Host club knew that they didn't want their customers to know. It wasn't the dept that I owe Kyouya, in fact, they're any dept to repay. I owe them any money, but instead I owe them a life for a life. If Kyouya hadn't saved me, I wouldn't be here. The reason that I am here is because of this:

"I was blackmailed."

So to a conclusion, the Host Club closed earlier because of what I had said. Yes, they were all angry at me for telling their customers the truth, but hey, they need to know what they are doing to me, and someone should do something about it. That "someone" happen to be my butler to start up the ruckus.

"Is that true, Tamaki?" One of his customers asks in shock."Are you really blackmailing Alex so he would join your club?"

"What? No, no!" Tamaki defends himself. "It has nothing to do with that!"

Oh yes it does. I thought to myself.

"Alex was just kidding!" Hikaru adds in as he took a hold of one of my arms.

"Yeah, it was a joke, really!" Kaoru said, as he took my other arm.

"Hey wait!" I said. Suddenly realizing those two was dragging me away from everyone.

"I think we should end the club for the day, right Tamaki?" Kyouya ask from behind.

Tamaki nodded quickly. "I apologize for the early incontinence, but we will be closing for today."

"Aw." Their customers said, but agree as they all left the room one by one. Mori-sempai walk after them to shut the door close, and then I herd the little click above the doorknob. They were locking me in.

"You idiot!" Tamaki exclaims, and shouting at me.

I shrug my shoulders.

"Why did you tell such things?" Tamaki went on yelling.

"They need to know the truth." I said simply.

"But that's not the truth!" Hikaru and Kaoru said unison.

"Do you want to keep your identity safe or not?" Tamaki ask seriously. I flinch at the question.

"Yes."

"They why did you tell them the wrong idea about the Host club, Al-chan?" Honey asks.

"It's because you guys really are blackmailing me." I said."I don't owe you money, I don't owe you a life for a life, I never even ask for that guys help!"

I yell while I point my index finger at Kyouya. He frowns at this."And the only way of keeping my secrecy a secret is that I do service for your stupid club, so you wouldn't reveal anything! And you don't call that blackmailing? I don't have any choice in this situation."

Everyone grew silent.

My heart feels like its crumbling inside as different emotions weld up in me. I don't understand any of these new feelings, and yet, I seem to deeply care about what these feelings is trying to tell me. I didn't notice then the distinctive atmosphere that had cover the whole room. This ominous feeling is coming off of Tamaki. I can't see what his reactions to my words are as his golden bangs is covering his eyes.

"Fine then…" Tamaki suddenly said. He turns his back towards me as he walks to the front door, and unlocking it."If you want out, then go."

"What?" I ask in surprise.

It was all in slow motion as I watch Tamaki twist the gold doorknob of the double doors of the third music room. The pink door open widen inward when the blond host pulls its frame.

"Tamaki-sempai…." Haruhi whispers in shock, as she watches him.

I couldn't believe my eyes when Tamaki ignores Haruhi's protest.

"Alex, if you wanted to get out of this club so badly—go on, no one's stopping you." Tamaki said barely above a whisper. He waves his arm out of the entrance. "You are now free, Alexander Kinmichi. You are no longer a member of the Host Club."