The room smelled of antiseptic, Dirk could hear Jake drumming his hands on the countertop and rubbing his hands on his pants. "Don't like doctors?"

"That obvious?"

"Kind of."

"It's not just doctors, any place of medicine really. My mind just goes to all the nasty diseases that one can catch in places like this."

"I mean, it's not exactly a hospital with a Zika patient. It's just a regular old doctor's office. This is just a check-up."

"Right, right."

He could hear Jake's slow calculated breaths and wondered how long he would hold out. God must have a soft spot for his caretaker, moments later his doctor appeared in the room. They went through the obligatory banter and questions of where his helicopter sister was. "Alrighty, let's get down to business. Dirk, I have a new medication for you to try for your non-24. It's a little experimental, but it should help keep you on a dependable schedule."

"No thanks Dr. Fenton, I think my current set-up is working fine."

"I must really advise against that. Relying on sleep medication rather than a drug tailored to your condition will like lead to an exacerbated situation for you. Surely those medications leave you groggy?"

"No, actually I think they work fine."

"Well, I won't push it, but I'd like you to consider it. Your blood tests came back normal, no sign of diabetes or cancer."

"Cancer?!" Jake's yelped, his voice exceptionally high-pitched, he wasn't doing well.

"Don't worry about it Jake. It was just to check. Blood cancer runs in the family, a curse, really. Roxy makes me get tested every six months to a year."

The doctor cut in, "Yes, everything checks out, was there anything in particular bugging you?"

"Yeah, on my back." Dirk turned around, lifting up his shirt, revealing a mass of red, flakey skin, little veins of dried blood and cuts.

The doctor tutted, "Your eczema is acting up again." He turned and looked directly at Jake, "You are his caretaker, yes?"

"Y-yes" Too high pitched, he coughed clearing his voice and settling himself. "Yes."

"I'm going to prescribe an ointment; you'll need to put a generous coat on his back twice a day."

Jake nodded, a little wide-eyed and guilty. It looked painful, he had no idea.

"And you," The doctor said, batting away irksome nails. "No more scratching, you're only making it worse."

Dirk huffed, but did as he was told. He was allowed to put his shirt back on and the two were in the car, driving to the pharmacy.

Jake's fingers batted the steering wheel, keeping some off rhythm tune. "…How long has your back been bugging you?"

"Couple weeks."

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"Because I knew this appointment was coming up, why complain? It's not like we could do anything about it."

"I could have at least bought something to help with itching, maybe something to at least bring down the irritation."

"Meh, it's all the same to me. It probably looks much worse that it feels."

"Your showers must have been brutal."

"…No, they were fine." Dirk shifted a little in his seat, embarrassed.

That night the blonde indulged himself in that sweet ache of heat on sensitive flesh, "Last time," he tells himself. The delicious sting hit him, bracing himself when it starts to edge over the cliff of tolerable intensity. He could feel the hairs on his arms and legs stand on end, and the muscles in his neck and up to his scalp flex into something that he can't describe. He couldn't even say it felt good, but it didn't feel bad. The longer he stayed in place the more intense the not-good-not-bad sensation became until he could no longer handle it and he removed himself from the heat's embrace. Shuddering, he should have jerked it, would have been a full body orgasm. Maybe once more tomorrow night, skin too delicate to try again.

When he was in his room, dried and changed, skin still exuding shower warmth, he heard a knock at his bedroom door. "Can I come in?"

"Sure."

"The instructions say it's best to put this stuff on clean, dry skin."

"Right." Dirk took off his pajama t-shirt, and laid on his stomach on the bed. He felt tentative hands brush the delicate rivulets of raw skin, near blood, on his back before they snapped away.

"Your skin is scorching!" He wasn't sure if Jake was impressed or horrified, frantic footsteps pattered down the hall, Dirk chose to stay where he was. The one thing he hated was starting to bubble again on his skin. The unending, insufferable itching. The itching even through pain, through tears it would still itch. He could white knuckle it all night and it would still itch.

The patters grew louder once more, the sound of something that wasn't a bottle of ointment, clinking, was in Jake's hand. Before Dirk could ask he felt a something cold on his back, killing the itch. Jake pressed the cold firmly to its new home and Dirk groaned, this was even better than the burn of hot water.

"The cold compress should help any itching until your skin is cool enough to put this blasted medicine on. Really, you shouldn't take such hot showers. …Does it feel okay?"

"Feels fucking great." Dirk tried not to moan and thanked heaven that he was face down right now.

He could practically smell Jake's smile. "I'm glad." A contented sigh, the sigh of someone who feels useful. The sigh of someone who feels they have done their job well. Dirk sighs too, his sigh is nothing like Jake's sigh.

Jake massages the ointment into Dirk's abused skin, while the blonde bites a hole through his lip. The process is both agonizingly long and cruelly short. "Okay, I think I've covered the area nicely. Do you feel like I've missed any spots?"

The temptation to lie is almost too great, "No, I think you got everywhere." Except the area in my pants.

"Righto, why don't you stay like that for a little while and let that stuff dry"

"Alight."

Jake disappeared, leaving Dirk with a situation he couldn't yet attend to, and later, his favorite pajama pants in the hamper.

"Jane, it's Dirk, I was wondering if you could help me?"

"Sure Dirk, anything."

"I want to get Jake a gift, but I have no idea what to get. Do you have any ideas?" This wasn't completely true, he had plenty ideas for Jake, he just knew enough to know his ideas would be…. Inappropriate.

"Well, I don't know Jake that well. What does he like?"

"He's kind of a big dork, likes super hero stuff and Lifetime movies."

"He likes Lifetime movies?"

"Well, he denies it, but kind of the way your teenage son would deny masturbating ten times a day. You know it happens, you can hear it, you just don't mention." Jane giggled at his comparison. "He also likes cooking, but it's kind of hard to tell if it's really a hobby or if he's just having fun with his job."

"No, I've had a few conversations with him."

"You have?"

"Yeah, you know how Roxy stopped calling? Well, she asked me to call for her instead, just to check up. Anyway, he was telling me how he loves trying new recipes. Hmm…." A few minutes of contemplation. "Wait, I've got it." Dirk could hear furious typing on the other end of the line. "Okay, I've got cookie cutters, cutting boards, cakelet pans, all in the form of either superhero heads, or their symbol- Oh hey a Captain America Teapot!"

"I don't think Jake drinks tea."

"Oh, I was actually thinking for me."

"You like superheroes?"

"Yes, plus…Captain America is a fine piece of ass." Dirk laughed. "Anyway, how much you looking to spend?"

"I was thinking $100, plus an impromptu bonus."

"Oh, big spender. Alright, I'll keep looking around, what's his favorite comic?"

"I think it's Batman."

"Gotcha. And Dirk? I'm totally willing to do this, but I need you to do something for me."

"What?"

"Make up with Roxy. She's been looking sad lately. Call her."

"….Alright."

After hanging up with Jane, Dirk called Roxy. "Hey, Rox? I thought we could talk about what happened a few weeks ago, at the mall."

The phone call ended with Dirk emotionally exhausted and back on speaking terms with his sister. She's agreed to allow Dirk to eat how he likes so long as he stays away from pot edibles (where she got the idea that he's suddenly eating them he has no idea), not to get shit faced drunk, ever, and to only have red meat once a week. The second, while a little more in the realm of possibility, was plenty easy to abide by, it's not like the blonde was a heavy drinker and it usually messed with his sleep schedule anyway. And the third condition, while more difficult, was easy enough to notify Jake about. She's still in charge of his doctor and dentist appointments and he has to report to her everything that goes on in them, but she mellowed quite a bit, even though it sounded like it killed her. Dirk suspected that John was standing near, coaching her through it.

Better tell Jake before the details fade from his memory. The hard wood floor beneath his feet was ice, the house was silent; Jake was probably in his room. Dirk always took an odd amount of pride in his ability to walk almost with almost complete silence. He noticed that people often stomp or simply let their feet slap against whatever surface they walk on. To him, walking had an art to it, the ability to walk with stealth and purpose, adding to or taking away from the noise pollution, the same way you would with your voice. It's how he found out about Roxy's plans for a caretaker and inserted himself into the process, it's how he found out Dave kept tabs on him through his friends, and today, it's how he was graced with the most erotic sound of his life. He heard a muffled groan come from Jake's room, he waited outside the door, slightly ashamed of his enticement. He heard the squirt of a lotion bottle and the rhythmic squelch of fluid around what had to be Jake's cock. He heard the increasingly labored breaths and groans; and the wonderful sounds that escaped him. "Ah! Yeah….god…..D-nnnnnnnnn" With his ninja abilities Dirk sought refuge in his room, it was time for a shower. The burning on his skin and the audio in his brain made for a very satisfying session.

When he was done and in his pajamas once more (this time he didn't even bother to put on a shirt), Jake was already in his room, ointment in hand. Dirk laid down and tried not to think anymore of the illicit sounds he heard an hour before, even as he felt a little of Jake's weight press the compress into his flesh. The cold mixing with his fiery skin, making him shiver in a way that had nothing to do with temperature. He tried not to think about how the hands currently touching his back had grabbed hold of one of Jake's most intimate places not long ago. He forced the fleeting question of how Jake's penis would feel in his hand, out of his mind. Focusing only on the steady rubbing on his back, no matter what he did with his hands, Jake always kept a steady rhythm when he touched skin. Dirk cleared his throat, "So, I talked to Roxy earlier….."