Dirk rested against the wall next to the front door, listening to Jake perform his mental checklist. "Gifts for grandma, Jade, uncle James, and Bec. Clothes, three emergency inhalers, grooming supplies, and three books."

"You really need three books?"

"No internet at my grandmothers, and I have two very long flights, not to mention a night at a hotel before I can connect to my last plane. …Hmm, three actually might not be enough. I don't have any more room though…. Oh well, it will have to do." Jake turned to face Dirk, the blonde holding the car keys in his hand. "Thanks for holding on to those, chum."

"Yeah, no problem." An electric tremor coursed through them as their fingertips met. Rough caramel hands held onto pale ones for two beats longer than normal. Dirk could hear a change in Jake's breathing, gasping when he felt a small puff of air near his lips. He leaned in, feeling a spark of excitement, waiting for Jake to kiss him. This was a thing, this was really going to be a thing. Only for Jake to press his cheek against the blind male's, strong arms wrapping around his torso.

"I'm going to miss you, mate."

Disappointed, Dirk allowed his arms to drape around Jake's broad shoulders, he noted solid shape and flexing muscles. His mind wandered to what it might feel like to have that entire body tighten under him, or over him, or alongside him. He wasn't really picky, so long as it was this body, this person. After several long moments, they finished their goodbyes; Jake hurriedly reminding Dirk where to find prepared food for the evening and the next morning, until his family arrived. The blonde reminded Jake to drive safe, and felt his heart drop a little as the door shut.

He was all on his own for the next eighteen hours. He should be thrilled, it's something he's always wanted. Now though, he just felt lonely. He puttered around, unable to focus on anything, the TV, music, his music, podcasts, nothing. Nothing could hold his interest. He thought of Jake and that moment they spent by the door and the realization of how private this time was hit him. He strode into the bathroom, cranking the hot water to max, unworried about taking it all. Tonight was his to indulge in something he'd never had before, complete and utter seclusion.

He stood under the scalding rain, playing a quickly burned CD he made last week, when he could hear Jake masturbating again. A one use thing, he couldn't keep it around, but for tonight, he would pretend. As he stroked himself and listened to Jake muffled whimpers a mostly inaudible cries, he thought of Jake bent over the bed, feeling those toned back muscles as Dirk pounded into him. And then Dirk imagined riding him, and then getting fucked by him. By the time the blonde was fully satiated the water had run cold and the cd had played at least ten times. He finished up, breaking the cd on his way out, and collapsed onto his bed.

Jake spent a similar night in the hotel, indulging in fantasies he rarely allowed himself. Flipping through his internal photo album of Dirk's naked body. He imagined many of the same things Dirk did and had the luxury of a vibrator packed in his bag; calling Dirk's name as he came. Unlike the blonde, Jake fell into a pit of self-loathing and disgust after his session. He was a fucking caretaker, he had no right to think of his charge in this way. His heart ached at what he knew could never be; it wasn't right and he was a creepy bastard for even doing what he had done. Was the gift he had for his employer in his bag really a kind gesture? Or did he just want to win favor? God he's an ass.

Dirk awoke the next morning, looking forward to breakfast with his caretaker, only to remember he was alone. Jake left him a muffin for the morning, a piece of braille paper he made himself, begging Dirk not to tell Roxy about the breakfast. The blonde smiled to himself, slipping the paper into his pocket, and taking a bite of his morning meal. Blueberry with an orange glaze, Dirk's favorite. He relished the taste imagining Jake next to him, rambling the way he does in the morning, usually about their plans for the day or the occasional weird dream. Now that Dirk thought about it, Jake hadn't brought up his dreams lately. Not after that one about him and a faceless figure being forced to stay apart; and how upset he was by that.

Finishing his muffin, the blind male carefully placed the wrapper in the trash, half wedging it to the side. He washed his hands and wandered into Jake's room, laying on his bed, the smell of the brunette interwoven with the thread of the sheets. It wasn't the smell of his cologne, only Jake, that wild scent of Jake's that normally threatened to drive the blonde out of his mind, was a deep source of comfort. And the lonely mind wandered again, what if Jake was in this bed with him? Petting his hair, whispering sweet nothings to him? How would he react if Dirk cradled his hand like it was the most precious thing in the world? How would he feel if Dirk told him that he loved him? Would he be upset? Flustered? Probably flustered, at least for a moment (a smile escaped his lips). Would it make everything awkward? …Would Jake quit on the spot?

The fam was due soon, best not get caught in his caretaker's bedroom sniffing the sheets. Closing the door behind him, Dirk took a deep breath before moving into the living room, patiently waiting for his family's arrival.

Roxy was the first, big surprise, along with Jane, John, and John's Dad, whom insists on being called "Dad" by everyone. "Dad," was an enthusiastic hand shaker and apparently, a hugger. Dirk was nearly crushed by the outpour of fatherly affection for a young adult that was not his blood. John, all the while, pleading desperately to "Please respect his personal space." The man seemed to understand this, apologizing before ruffling Dirk's perfect hair. Normally, this would be a far greater offense than a hug assault by what is basically a stranger; but something about the man's nature set Dirk at ease, and he couldn't bring himself to hold a grudge. The man also shoved cookies into Dirk's hands, chocolate M&M, this was a good guy. Rose was the next to arrive, with about eight dozen gifts for the family, she was the biggest Christmas enthusiast in the family; which was odd given her general pessimistic demeanor and affinity for the darker side of human nature. Her girlfriend Kanaya, promptly introduced herself. Her diction suggested a librarian sort, perfect pronunciation, absolutely refused to use contractions. Turns out she's a personal stylist, and after a polite request, she fixed Dirk's hair. She was alright.

Dave would still be a while, his flight delayed. Rose took Dirk's hand, "which room is yours?" He led her to his room, fishing her special gift out from under his bed. A tradition, just between the two of them. Once, all the siblings exchanged gag gifts; Roxy and Dave had a different idea of "gag", like fake vomit and snakes in a can … and soup. He unwrapped his gift, feeling a long cylindrical object that tapered at the top. A button on the bottom, as he pressed it the length of the object moved and vibrate in his grasp. Smiling to himself, "I can always count on you for the kinky ass vibrators."

"And you always have exceptional taste in specialty lubes and…what's this?" The sound of enthusiastic ripping and a slightly embarrassed sounding laugh. "A selection of hentai?"

"New stuff, guarantee you haven't seen it yet. I know a guy." He could hear her laugh and couldn't help but grin.

"Thank you. Now, tell me about how you've been since I last saw you. How's the caretaker working out?"

Dirk recounted everything that had happened to him in the past nine months, not only his issues with Roxy and Dave, but his caretaker and his feelings. He told her of his romantic desires and uncertainties, and his longing to just be a part of Jake English's life. She listened attentively, never once interrupting him, merely letting his speak; even when he became emphatic over his fight with Roxy. When he was finished, rather than giving him advice, or scolding him, she merely asked "How much do you remember of mom and dad?"

Taken aback, he answered, "Nothing much; I remember mom smelling like stale coffee….I remember being scared of dad and glass for some reason." He felt a thin dainty hand on the back of his neck as she brought him in for a hug. She wasn't the touchy feely sort, but her embrace was warm, soft, and smelled of lavender.

After she released him, she spoke. "Mom died when you were about three, car accident. She was the one who worked, the one who paid the bills, the one who took care of us. Dad was a drunk, and he never stopped being a drunk. Dave was sixteen at the time, he got a job, dropped out of school. He worked so hard." Her voice wistful and a touch sad, after a brief pause, she continued. "When I was fifteen, you were about six, Roxy was maybe nine, I worked at a strip club so Dave could go to school. Lied about my age of course, got into the booze like dad. Dave was only in school for about a year, it was all we could afford, even with financial aid."

"….I don't remember any of this really."

"I didn't think you would. Dave certainly doesn't want to talk about it; it wasn't my proudest moment in life either. Remember when you were nine and I 'went abroad' for a year? That was really rehab. Anyway, dad died, that's when family was finally forced to intervene. Dave busted his ass while I sank into further into addiction. Roxy compensated by taking care of you, I think she has a hard time letting go of that, Dirk. She shielded you so much when you were younger, before you had the benefit of all this. You were only eight when Dave landed his big break and we could finally afford stuff. Do you know why we don't stay connected to our extended family? Good for nothing bitches sued him when his movie won an Oscar. 'Back rent and lost wages' they said."

"Why didn't I know about any of this?"

"Baby-of-the-family syndrome. Everyone wanted to protect you, after hearing what's been going on with you and Roxy though, and no doubt what you're thinking about saying to Dave; I know what goes on in that dumb little head of yours, I thought you should have all of the information. Roxy's still coping, her coping mechanism was taking care of you, the idea of letting go probably sends her into a feeling of chaos. She's likely afraid that changing anything is going to result in going back to that point in her life….now that I think about it….Dave and I should push her towards therapy. At least a few counseling sessions to help her through this."

The wave of information was overwhelming, now he felt kind of bad, saying the things he did. He held the edge of his t-shirt between his fingers, softly rolling the fabric with his thumb and middle finger, brushing the edge with his index finger. He felt her hand cover his. "You haven't changed much in your coping mechanisms either. Done that since you were tiny. Information overload?"

"..Yeah…a little. "

"Want some time alone?"

"Yeah, sorry."

"Don't be, Dirky." He felt a kiss on his forehead, and heard her light footsteps leave the room with a soft creak of the door closing shut. He laid back, letting the wave of everything he had just heard flood him in a tidal wave and recede to the edges of his nerves.

After roughly an hour, Dirk reappeared. More cookies were forced into his hands, John and his father coaxed him into singing Christmas Carols, and when Dave arrived, Dirk decided the man deserved some thanks. As everyone sat in a circle, passing out gifts, per Christmas Eve tradition, he turned to Dave, whom sat next to him. "Bro, I know I don't say this much, but thanks for letting me live here. Thanks for taking care of me."

His gratitude was accepted with an awkward shoulder shove, and a tired, "Anytime little man, any time."

The rest of the night was filled with drinking, except for Rose who chose to abstain, and Dirk who didn't want it to mess with his medication. The two sober siblings sat back, listening to the massacred versions of Jingle Bells and Silent Night, smiling.

The next morning, the two who could not drink the night before, indulged in their favorite Christmas tradition. They marched through the house, clanging pots and pans, yelling at the top of their lungs for everyone to "GET THE FUCK UP! CINNIMON ROLLS ARE GETTING COLD!" A lone few could be heard puking their guts out, while others groaned and trudged into the kitchen for food and the industrial-sized bottle of Ibuprofen. The rest of the day was filled with a Christmas movie marathon and more food than they could possibly eat (courtesy of Rose thinking ahead and ordering a catered meal.) As night settled in, everyone rested in varying stages of consciousness on the living room furniture, and in Roxy's case, the floor.

Dave sat next to him, his tone suggested he was more relaxed than he had been in a long while. The general gravelly tone of an overworked man was a perpetual undertone in his voice. He sounded drowsy, and out of it. "You okay?" Dirk asked.

"M'fine." Maybe he got into the liquor again. "I want to talk about you. How's that caretaker working out? Treating you well?"

"Yeah, Dave. I'm really happy."

A tired grin filled the older male's face. "Good." Dirk felt a pat on his knee. "You deserve someone that makes you happy. When's the wedding?"

He definitely got into the liquor again. "Dave, we were talking about my caretaker, not my boyfriend." This is why you don't tell Dave things, he's sure to spout off when drunk. "Were we?" A soft sound of clinking glass. "Apparently, I've had too much eggnog."

"I guessed that."

"Smart ass."

The next morning Dave, Rose, Kanaya, John's Dad, and Jane said their goodbyes. Dave merely said "Be good." Jane informed Dirk that his gift to Jake was under the tree. And Rose said, "Tentacles up asses."

"Tentacles up asses." Dirk replied. He noted a few sounds of scandalized voices and the well known exasperated sighs of his other siblings.

"What does that mean?" Rose had not informed Kanaya of the inside joke.

"Nothing, don't worry about it." He could hear the smile in her voice. Dad merely shoved something into Dirk's hands, more cookies.

Roxy and John stayed an extra day, mostly uneventful and pleasant; barring the vegan food and the twenty minutes of banging Dirk could hear through his wall. The next morning, they left, a tofu burger set out for him as lunch until Jake got back. He made sure to hug Roxy, and tell her he loved her. After what Rose had told him, and their negotiations, it seemed cruel to remind her not to harass. John apologized for his father, which Dirk felt was unnecessary, but wasn't about to admit the fondness he felt for silly older male.

Dirk didn't have long to wait after lunch (yes, he ate the burger), before Jake returned. He was greeted with a crushing hug and a sigh in his ear. "I'm so glad to be back."

"Not so fun with the family?"

"Oh, I love my family, truly. I just…I'm not the same anymore. They haven't really changed at all since I last saw them. They refused to even look at mine or Jade's phones, called them useless. And all we did was hunt. They are kind people, good people. We're just different now." Dirk detected a tone of melancholy in Jake's voice. He brought his hand up, brushing the hair at the nape of his neck.

He took a deep breath and a chance, kissing Jake's cheek. "Sounds like it was hard on you, I'm sorry."

"Thanks mate."

They stayed like that for a few more moments before Jake heaved a breath and returned to his cheery demeanor. "Mostly, I'm happy to be away from the pollen. Used all three of my inhalers! It almost wasn't enough." An awkward moment hung in the air, "I-I got you something."

Dirk felt a rectangle placed in his hands. "I got you something too, it's under the tree." Dirk sat down and unwrapped his gift carefully, like a holy treasure. Jake had thought of him, considered him. He could hear Jake ripping the paper on his gift, the blonde wondered briefly if he had found the envelope with his bonus. Focusing back on his gift, he could tell it was a book. Flipping it in his hands he felt braille across the cover, The Cuckoo's Calling. "How did you get this?!" Dirk had never been more shocked.

"Special order, picked it up while on my trip. I knew your favorite authors and saw it was missing from your coll- Oh my god, a Robin apron!" Dirk could hear him laughing as he continued, "A Batman cookie jar, and these cookie cutters. There's a cookbook of Batman themed recipes?!" He sounded like he was having the time of his life.

"There should be envelope for you as well." After a few seconds of silence, he heard a triumphant "Ah-ha!" And soon after " ….Dirk, I can't accept this."

"The envelope is a bonus, it's not from me. It's perk of working for me."

"Still this is too much."

"No, take it. You deserve it, Jake. The other stuff is from me, as a ….."

"Friend?"

It's a start, another gamble, maybe? "Better than that, bros."

He heard a laugh. "Yeah, best bros." He let out some tension he didn't know he was holding and felt Jake hug him again. "Thanks, Dirk. Regardless of what you say, this is very generous." They stayed in each other's arms longer than even "bros" normally would, both ignoring it, but not taking it any farther. This was a nice closeness, as close as they could ever get without risking rejection.