My sorrow is not a lie
MIKADO POV
I screamed.
I broke down. "I loved you." I whispered, Shizuo's cold body lying limp in my arms. "I've always loved you Shizuo."
'Why here and why now?' I wanted to scream more, but I knew better. You were in love with Izaya. I'd heard you many nights, making love as if you were lovers. I remember the day I worked up the courage to ask Izaya what was going on. He would smile at me, taking my hand in his and kissing it gently.
"It's nothing." He'd whispered. "He could never compete with my love for you, Mikado-kun."
Izaya thought I was in love with him. I didn't ask anymore, staying as far away as possible. You were in love with the puppeteer of Ikebukuro, I could see it in your eyes, but Izaya was in love with me, and I was the only one that could see the truth.
We were all completely and totally screwed. I'm not sure you realized that I knew everything, I'm not sure you realized that I actually cared. I pretended not to. I tried to ignore how sick you became and how infected your wrists must have been beneath your stained bandages. I even stopped asking Izaya to help you, after he refused for the billionth time, reassuring me that you were okay.
"He's NOT okay!" I wanted to scream, barely refraining from slapping him. My fists shook, my teeth clenched, and tears burned my eyes and my cheeks, but I'd kept it all inside. 'He loves Izaya.' I told myself. I didn't want to watch Shizuo die though. Nobody deserves to die because of unrequited love. Not Shizuo, not Izaya, not even me.
But I guess you didn't agree, Shizuo. As I bring the gun to my head, one that I'd found by chance in Izaya's office, I think I can feel myself smiling too. Unlike you, I left a note. I feel the need to explain why, since you had never given me the reason. It reads only three simple words, and only Izaya will understand their exact meaning. I'd made sure of that.
My finger pulls the trigger, my life flashes before my eyes as I heard the shot fired.
..and then there's a silence before my eyes went into the abyss of darkness.
I hope the blood won't stain my note, or make my message unreadable.
'He wasn't okay' It reads in large, black letters.
'He wasn't okay' and neither was I.
end of chapter 2
tbc c: to the next point of view arc kappalings
and guess who it is, yeah izaya's reaction when he comes home to find
shizuo and mikado on the floor
again, dead.
delusional izaya coming up
because everything's so funny to him
-kappalord