Disclaimer: I don't own these series

A Damaged Soul

Chapter 4

"Tell Sango and Miroku I'm sorry."

Inuyasha breathed in, trying to control his anguish. He just nodded and disappeared into the trees.

Kagome sank to her knees, her mind numb. She could not comprehend what had just happened. Her face felt wet, so she touched it. When she pulled her hand away, she gazed at her tears curiously. A giggle built up in her throat. Even now, after all that he's done to me. Why do I still cry for him?

She kept staring at her hand, and then laughed. It was a bitter mocking laugh. I am so fucked up.

Seshoumaru looked at the miko who seemed unaware of his presence. She was so deep in thought that he doubted anything could disturb her. A sigh escape his lips as he spotted the fox child standing at a distance staring at its surrogate mother, tears in his eyes.

Turning on his heel, he left the area to hunt. And think.

Kagome stared into the fire, giving the appearance of one deep in thought. However, she was not. She was simply staring. There was something fascinating about the fire. The way its flames jumped about, licking each other. The way it kept changing color, from red to yellow to green to blue.

The children were asleep, as were Jaken and Ah-Un. Her only companion was Seshoumaru, who too was staring into the fire, seemingly lost in thought. Kagome's dinner lay by her side untouched, as her fascination with the dancing flames grew so much that she unconsciously extended a hand towards it.

It was so close. She could almost feel the heat burning her skin, when a clawed hand grasped hers, centimeters from the fire.

She looked up.

"You will cease this foolishness."

She merely stared at him, like a child, curiosity etched on her face.

Seshoumaru stared back, his golden eyes holding no emotion. He did not release her hand and neither did she pull it away from him.

Their eyes kept gazing into each other till Seshoumaru dropped her hand.

"Go to sleep miko. Tomorrow we travel."

He retired to his side of the fire. Kagome gazed at her wrist. Interesting, she mused, as she examined her wrist, His claws didn't leave any bruises.

The thought was odd, to say the least as it disturbed her. Why had he been so careful not to harm her?

She dragged her gaze away from her wrist towards her bag. Maybe she should unpack her sleeping bag.

Or maybe not.

She lay down on the hard floor, using her arm as a pillow. Staring up at the sky, she drew mindless patterns. Gradually her thoughts moved to Inuyasha. The demon Inuyasha. He had seemed so different from his hanyou self, and from his normal youkai self.

His eyes had been red but had held no thirst for the bloodshed she had always seen when he had transformed. Why had he kept calling her his mate? His eyes had been so anguished. A part of her reveled in his pain whilst one part of her winced.

He watched me die. And yet I'm so concerned how sad he must be. At that very moment she wanted to claw out her heart, to watch it stop beating and then crush it. These feelings weren't hers. they couldn't be hers. Was she this pathetic?

She turned around to stare at Seshoumaru's still profile, her thoughts a mindless jumble. Maybe she was a masochist. Maybe she enjoyed the pain and suffering that Inuyasha had dealt her. Maybe because she deserved it. But why? Why had she deserved it? She had stood by his side through everything. Hadn't she deserved better?

She closed her eyes to remember the expression on his face when he had barged into the clearing and when she hadn't approached him, so heartbroken, so lonely, she had wanted to go to him, comfort him, to tell him that she forgave him. But she had held back. That voice had not been her own. She was not that gullible. The one who deserved her loyalty was Seshoumaru. He had saved her, even if she hadn't wanted to be saved. But he had and thus she owed a blood debt to him. Even she knew that much. Aside from that, the pull that she fell towards Seshoumaru felt natural and for once she obeyed her instincts because if she didn't even trust him, she would go insane.

When she had died and then immediately felt her soul be pulled back into her body, a feeling of being lost had been instilled inside of her. She had felt like a blank slate. The pain hadn't been gone. It had been there, and its existence had made itself known. She had been discarded like trash. And it hurt. But she was unable to express it. She wanted to cry or scream or rage but was unable to.

She didn't need to smile anymore, she didn't need to talk anymore. She viewed the world like an outsider, just existing, a fish in an unknown sea, with no place to call home. So she just followed Seshoumaru. Where he went, she went. She didn't question his motives. He fed her and her kit, and she was satisfied.

She closed her eyes, trying to dispel her train of thoughts and drifted off to sleep.

"So the miko has left Inuyasha? Interseting. Kanna!"

The pale child appeared in front of Naraku.

"Yes?"

"Show me the miko."

Kanna held her mirror forward and an image of a sleeping Kagome appeared.

"Her aura is getting darker. Maybe I can use this to my advantage. Call Kagura."

As Kanna left, Naraku smiled. A slow malicious smile.

A.N: I'm trying to edit all the chapters as quickly as posssible.