xiv.
She didn't expect that it would be so easy.
Well, Karin thinks to herself, this is just the beginning. She'd be on her guard, of course, taking in as much information as she can get, but maybe she can relax as well. She can handle going out on occasional strolls and picnics. That sounds fine. The compromise is that she has to stop shutting him out. Say what's on her mind once in a while, instead of ignoring him and stubbornly refusing to answer.
It sounds simple enough.
"How old are you?" Karin asks, deciding that her first question would be something innocent enough while they walk back to his manor.
Hitsugaya lifts his eyebrow and Karin can feel his incredulousness, though she doesn't look away. "How old you do think I am?"
Karin glares at him, because he wasn't supposed to turn the question back on her.
"Nineteen." He answers, a second later, wry amusement apparent at her lack of an answer. "Disappointed?"
"Surprised." Karin corrects him. "I thought you'd be… older. At least more than a year older than me." Do people look at her and think she's eighteen years old?
He shrugs. "I had to grow up when my parents died. That meant looking the part and being in control of the family business. People had to think that I knew what I was doing."
He'd certainly had her convinced.
"My uncle was busy with other matters, otherwise he would have helped. So it fell to me to pick up where my father left off."
"What could your uncle possibly—"
"Karin." She stills when she catches the edge of anger in his voice, aware that he's standing too far away. She doesn't flinch, but she takes care to be more vigilant and watchful. He will not hurt her. Icily, he stares at her. "He's a busy man, he has his reasons. He helped whenever he had time to spare. But. I was fifteen when the accident happened, and I'd already started to learn about what I was supposed to do." Hitsugaya shrugs. "Afterwards, well, I had friends who took me under their wing."
Lucky you, Karin thinks, resentful, determinedly staying silent.
"It wasn't so bad." Toushirou continues, oblivious, as they continue walking. "I learnt to get by."
"Look at you now." Karin states coolly, unable to see him as someone who isn't in control at least most of the time. She's chipping away that demeanour bit by bit. Still. It's difficult to imagine him as a scared fifteen year old, terrified of the burden being placed on his shoulder, his parent's death overshadowing him, when he seems so… composed. There's something to admire in how he's overcome that vulnerability, while Karin's seem to haunt her. "All that hard work has paid off."
"I don't know about that." He says quietly, and it strikes Karin that there's something unbearably sad at the way he tries to be self-depreciating.
"It has." Karin insists. It's a bad attempt at trying to be consoling, but it's an attempt nonetheless. The distance between them is tangible and so very real. "You seem… steady."
"I could say the same about you." Hitsugaya says, as the manor emerges into their sight.
She turns to look at him, sceptical.
"You think I'msteady?" There are a lot of words Karin won't define herself by and steady is one of them. Steady is not how she'd describe herself a few days ago, and trying to navigate this newly labelled friendship is anything but.
"You do a good job of acting it." Hitsugaya replies, glancing at her with a measured gaze. "You're an incredibly strong person, Karin."
It's the last thing he says.
Karin doesn't watch him return to his study. She doesn't think about his words either.