Notes: I was so tempted to name this chapter Garasu no Hanazono but I restrained myself.
Chapter Title: Dakara, Arigatou (だから、ありがとう lit. So, Thank You) - Nanjou Yoshino
"When you've seen as much death as I have, there comes a point where you stop wondering if it was painful—if there was nothing that you could have done. For those who don't—or can't—know, it's the loneliest feeling in the world: the realization that there is nothing left driving you forward but anger and the cold desire for revenge.
It's at that point you wonder whether you're even more alive than the Ceresis themselves. If there's nothing in your life but death and fighting, where are you supposed to draw the line?
When I met Kotori again for the third time, she quoted a poem to me. I don't remember the words exactly, but it said something along the lines that selflessness, loyalty, and love were the only things I needed to live a meaningful, well-lived life.
It took me a long time to understand her words and why she'd said it. It was okay to be angry. I just couldn't let that stop me from living." —Sonoda Umi
Maki chewed on the end of her pen as she watched the news over her line of samples. It had taken her quite awhile to grow these particular Ceresis tissues and she was eager to finally restart her research after the distractions of the past few weeks. She took the pen out of her mouth, snapped on a pair of latex gloves and loaded a few microlitres of Namidite-based fluid into a pipette.
"In a press conference leak this morning, it has been revealed that Toujou-sama has summoned all interested private military corporations and bounty hunters of Tokyo alike to a meeting."
She snorted inwardly; Maki had little doubt as to what the contents of that meeting were as she carefully squeezed out the droplets of liquid onto the tissue sample. The site of contact instantly shrivelled, but it wasn't enough to completely eradicate the area of infected tissue. She scowled, discarding the pipette in a sharps container and fumbling through her supplies for a needle instead.
"The contents of the meeting are still unknown. However, given the recent events of terrorism within the city of Tokyo, it is safe to assume that it is likely a safety plan being put into place."
She carefully jabbed the tip of the needle into the second sample. Like the first, the area where the small amount of injected fluid withered instantly, but left the rest of the tissue untouched.
Maki retried both methods with different concentrations of the Namidite fluid, but had no better luck. Putting the rest of her samples back into the incubator, she took off her gloves and rolled them into a ball before she tossed them into the trash. Rolling her chair away from her lab bench and back towards her desk, she pinched the bridge of her nose between both hands, thinking, before she grabbed her abandoned pen to scribble some notes and data down in her clinical notebook.
It wasn't the concentration in the fluid. The amount of Namidite hadn't affected the results enough to be statistically significant, and for the umpteenth time, Maki wondered if the collective of physicians—herself included— were going about their research in the wrong way. No. We've searched… and tried everything else. It has to be Namidite. Nothing else works.
But it was impossible to shoot and kill every Ceresis that still roamed the countryside with Namidite based weapons: the endeavour would take decades—decades they didn't have.
There has to be a scientific answer to this out there somewhere. I have to believe that.
She looked over her bottles of Namidite solution once more, taking in their bright, coloured hues that differentiated their concentration. They reflected off the bright screens of her computers innocently, as though teasing her for not finding the solution to her problems.
Maybe it's the delivery, she mused to herself as she unconsciously stood up to pace. She was so absorbed in her thoughts that she didn't hear the door of the lab open.
"I'll do it," came Umi's voice behind her, startling her out of her thoughts—she was speaking on the phone with someone. Maki heard the beep as she hung up.
"You'll do what?" she asked without turning around, still leafing through her nearly-filled notebook.
"A job." Umi cast a sideways glance to the news station that was still playing on one of her computers. "Is it already being reported?"
Maki followed her gaze to the image of the reporter on the news channel. "If it's that security job they're talking about, then yes." She raised an eyebrow as Umi set down her bow and arrows on one of her metal gurneys, pulled out the other rolling chair from underneath the desk and sat down on it, perching herself at the very edge of the chair, her posture no less tense than it had been than when she'd been standing.
Maki crossed her arms, waiting for an explanation. When one didn't come, she sat back down on her own chair. "So what's the deal, Umi?"
Her blue-haired friend was silent for awhile before she pulled something out of the inside of her jacket pocket. Maki recognized it instantly as the bullet taken from the man who had died at the scramble, down to the evidence bag that the police department had put it in.
"Rin identified this," Umi started as she placed it on the table gingerly, as though it would explode if she handled it too roughly. "It doesn't match anything in Tokyo's database." Her voice was subdued as she continued. "They found the same bullets in the district building last week."
Maki felt her breath hitch in her throat for a moment. "So…"
"So it's either the same person, or they're using the same gun. It's not a good thing, either way, but that's not all of it. Though you should probably give this back to the police department." Umi pushed the plastic baggie over to her.
Maki took it and put it in the front pocket of her lab coat, raising a finger to twirl at a lock of dark red hair as Umi went on. "Eli called me. The meeting that the district held today isn't a security job. Based on the information that the police department and district security got from last week, they did some tracing. Someone's managed to build a factory outside the fence walls down by one of the old piers across the bay and judging by the emissions, it's a weapons factory."
Maki knitted her brows together in disgusted surprise. "And how come nobody's noticed it before? You'd think someone would've seen it, even if it's the other side of the fence, especially since the private military corporations are out there all the time."
"Nobody was looking before," Umi answered her. "There are a lot of Ceresis down by the waterfront on the other side of the bay and most of the old buildings there should have been locked up."
"Emphasis on should," she snapped dismissively. "See, this is what I mean, Umi. The government doesn't give a shit about things that are right under their noses until they can't ignore it anymore. They're not even dealing with this because it's the right thing to do; they're dealing with this because someone tried to kill Toujou with a bullet made from outside the fence!" She bridged a hand across her forehead. "So what's their plan? Set up a really high cash bounty so the private military companies and the bounty hunters can throw themselves at it first before they have to waste their precious army resources on it?"
She caught the look on Umi's face even as she said the words. "I knew it."
"Eli thinks someone is sponsoring them."
Maki closed her mouth as the rest of her tirade died on her lips. "What?"
"It takes a lot of money to set up a factory outside the fence," Umi responded grimly. "Not even all of the big companies have those kinds of resources… and they would have to maintain its safety as well as keep it off the radar of the government, at the very least."
Maki narrowed her eyes. She could see it—it wouldn't be much of a stretch for some big arms manufacturer to have a factory outside of the city's jurisdictions. While it was true it would have to be patrolled and guarded at all times due to the Ceresis threat, she could see the benefits to one, despite the efforts that would it would need to keep it a secret. At least, I wouldn't put it past some of the corporations in this city to try something like this. "So, why are you going?" she demanded, switching the topic. "On this job, I mean. Or can't you see that this is basically a recipe for something going straight to hell, Umi?"
She saw Umi stiffen the slightest bit at the bitter sarcasm in her words, before the blue-haired woman stood up, taking a breath. "I don't like this any more than you do," she answered. "But if it's already come to this, can you say for certain what will happen in the future? For all we know, ordinary citizens could be next." Her amber expression burned as she continued. "I can't let that happen."
Maki met her friend's gaze with her own amethyst one. She understood—and had a healthy amount of respect for— Umi's sense of justice. It had been the thing that had kept her going in the initial time period after the first Ceresis attacks and had carried forward, even now, eight years later. She knew Umi well enough to know when the blue-haired woman could be talked out of things, but the woman standing in front of her right now was anything but that. There was an ulterior motive, of course, but she could hardly fault Kotori for existing when the brunette was probably the only reason why Umi hadn't given herself a stress—or rage—induced ulcer at the tender age of twenty-four.
"I'm not going to stop you," she finally said, feeling unnaturally embarrassed at the rush of emotions that her memories had brought up unexpectedly. "Just… do me a favour and watch yourself out there, will you?"
Eli sat on a cool stone bench in the darkened garden, breathing in deeply a few times in the evening air. The scent of heavily perfumed flowers made her nose wrinkle a little, but even so, she much preferred the air outside rather than the still, stuffy air of the district building. Ever since she had discovered that she had access to this particular place, it had become a safe place for her to be alone when she was now surrounded almost daily by the politicians she disliked so much.
She had come outside to clear her head and organize her thoughts; her nerves had felt frazzled and frayed ever since her conversation with Umi, and although Toujou hadn't summoned her for any actual work since, she still hadn't completely processed the events in the conference a week prior.
Whenever she thought back on it, it was as though she'd watched the events as an aside, like she'd been seeing the whole thing from the sidelines from someone else's body. But I was there. If I hadn't noticed… would Toujou be dead? She found that that question haunted her more than she would've liked to admit. Eli didn't have an answer to it and she wasn't a hundred percent sure she wanted one, regardless.
There was also the topic of Toujou's planned assault on the waterfront factory that someone had built outside of the fence, ever since her search of the surrounding landscape had revealed an abnormal amount of emissions down by the abandoned side of Tokyo Bay. Her first instinct at the time had been to call Umi, knowing Umi well enough that she would want in on that particular operation, but doubts had plagued her ever since she'd hung up. Do I… have the right to push that onto her? Toujou had already told her she wanted her in the situation room in case something happened, and Eli knew that she would be able to keep in contact with Umi regardless, but she couldn't help the second-guessing her decision to call her blue-haired friend. Now that there were less than twenty-four hours to go until the start of the operation in question, her anxiety levels were only going to rise.
She pressed her hands together, resting the tips of her fingers against the bottom of her nose as she breathed in, trying to calm the waves of apprehension gripping her stomach, aided by the thoughts that she couldn't seem to banish.
"Do you mind if I sit with you, Ayase-san?" A soft, serene voice jolted her out of her thoughts as Eli looked up, startled.
She found herself staring at the expressive verdant gaze of none other than Toujou herself.
"N-No," she stammered, unable to completely disguise her reaction as the violet-haired woman settled herself delicately on the bench beside her. She made a motion to get up, as was the customary greeting for the district leader of Tokyo, but before she could do so much as move, Toujou gently put a gloved hand on her bare wrist, indicating that the gesture was unnecessary. The contact lasted barely a heartbeat before Toujou removed her hand, leaving Eli to stare at her for a moment before she remembered that she wasn't supposed to stare at the district ruler either, and she quickly averted her gaze.
While looking for something else to look at, she spotted Toujou's security guards hovering in the distance; far enough that they probably couldn't hear what they were saying but close enough to react to any form of a threat she might've posed.
In any case, Eli was suddenly glad for the gathering darkness that would be able to hide the blush that was slowly creeping up her neck.
No words were exchanged between them for several long minutes as the moon slowly crept over the hedges that shielded the district building's private garden, illuminating the flowers that had opened their petals after the early rainy season that had struck Tokyo in the past few weeks. Eli carefully made sure her gaze was focussed on the flowers and not on the woman beside her, less than a foot away.
It was Toujou who broke the silence first. "I… didn't get to thank you properly for last week."
Somehow, when she was outside of her office, Toujou's voice sounded less like the persona she slapped on for politicians and the media and more like an actual living, breathing, person; the slight hesitation in her words was only testament to that fact. There was that same genuine hint to her tone again that wasn't there in any capacity when she was speaking to her advisors.
Eli turned her head and caught Toujou's emerald gaze for a brief moment before looking away again, feeling strangely embarrassed. "It was nothing," she mumbled, swallowing against the dryness in her throat, still fully aware of who she was sitting beside. She could feel her heartbeat beginning to pound against her sternum.
"I mean it, Ayase-san. Not many people would have done what you did… in fact, I'm quite sure that there are a fair many people who would have done nothing on purpose."
The clear, poignant way in which she said the words surprised Eli, even though she knew it shouldn't have. She may be Tokyo's head of state, but she has absolutely no delusions about her own power and safety. That realization made her respect for the woman sitting beside her increase by a small margin: there were too many power-hungry corporate heads who believed that their money made them invincible, but Toujou knew exactly where she stood in their current world.
"I'm… sure that's not true," she murmured, unsure of how she was supposed to respond to Toujou's almost dismissive acknowledgment of that fact.
"You and I both know that's not the kind of world we live in, Ayase-san," Toujou replied evenly.
Eli closed her eyes. I know. All too well.
There was a pause, broken only by the sound of koi splashing in a pond not too far off from where they were sitting.
"It's refreshing, you know?" Toujou said suddenly. Eli half-turned her head to look at the purple-haired woman as she spoke. "If I may, Ayase-san… you're very honest with your feelings. Even when we first met. Your body language might suggest that you're trying to hide your emotions, but your eyes are very expressive." The purple-haired woman stopped momentarily as if to gather her thoughts. "There's nobody around me who actually says what's on their mind, much less lets slip how they're feeling at the moment. You weren't afraid to antagonize Kouchou from minute one, and yet, you didn't hesitate at all to put so much on the line for your sister. Even if I never met you in person, I would have been able to see that you care deeply for the people you love." Another pause. "I would be lying to you if I said you didn't intrigue me from the start."
Eli's blue eyes widened, and she found that she truly had no response to this particular statement. It struck a certain amount of uneasy fear deep somewhere in the region of her heart: she had been right all along that Toujou had a knack for reading people and it bothered her that the violet-haired woman had gleaned so much about her in the short time that they'd spent in each other's presence. But deep down, Eli knew that she wouldn't be able to deny any of it if it came down to it. She's right, after all.
"You've intrigued me from the start."
She didn't know if that statement was supposed to be good or bad.
Quiet settled over them again. Toujou did not press the topic further, and Eli was certain she'd seen the flustered, anxious expression that she was sure was currently decorating her face. A soft breeze had picked up, dislodging several wisps of blonde hair from her ponytail as a chatter of birdsong from a corner of the garden disrupted the stillness. She watched as several white starlings took flight from a grove of trees into the night sky.
Minutes ticked by in absolute silence, and it was a very long time before any sound interrupted it.
"I've been meaning to ask you something, Ayase-san."
Eli automatically opened her mouth to ask what, but Toujou had already continued before the words even made it past the back of her throat.
"It's… awkward, you know? You saved my life, but I'm still calling you by your surname." There was another pause, not because she was using it for effect, but because Eli had the sense that Toujou was genuinely at a loss as to how she wanted to phrase what she wanted to say. She also had the feeling that this was a completely new sensation to the woman sitting beside her, but the problem was that she couldn't find anything to say either; she was barely processing the conversation as it was. There was heavy emotion in Toujou's voice as she went on. "I'm really… indebted to you for what you did. I don't really know how you feel about me, but the fact that you saved my life means something—at least to me. I don't want to discount that by any means. So… would you mind if I called you Eli-san?"
Eli seemed to have forgotten how to react at all—she was so taken aback by the request that the words tumbled past her lips before she had time to actually think through the question; her reaction was only provoked by the fact that there was the realization somewhere at the back of her mind that she was still speaking to the most powerful person in Tokyo. Whether or not it was dark, she knew she was blushing now and she didn't think Toujou would miss something like that. "I-I— N-No, I… don't mind."
Toujou gave her a small smile as she got up, but this time, unlike the first time they'd met, the expression reached her eyes. It wasn't the glass smile Eli had seen her give her advisors and it wasn't shallow playful laugh that she used so effectively in her conversations with other politicians. Eli found that she was surprised she was able to tell the difference.
"You should get some sleep before tomorrow evening," Toujou added softly before she turned to leave, brushing her long violet hair over her shoulders as she walked away.
Eli watched her go, her fingers curling around the cool stone edge of the bench she was still sitting on, her face still burning. She still couldn't understand or completely process what had happened and she wasn't sure she wanted to. Instead, she slowly moved her hands until her arms were wrapped around her knees, the wind tugging at her blonde bangs.
Notes: Guys, Non-tan's trying pretty hard to tell Eli something but I don't think Eli got it? Ponkotsuchika is pretty cute to write though, not gonna lie. My NozoEli fix for this chapter (and this fic in general tbh) is Nandemo nai ya (なんでもないや lit: It's nothing/Never mind) by RADWIMPS, from the movie Kimi no na wa (Your Name). If you haven't seen "Your Name" or listened to the movie version of this song (with the lyric translation, even though the music is amazing by itself already), that's my request for this chapter.