Notes:

Chapter Title: Kataru More (カタルモア lit. Tell Me More) - Nanjou Yoshino

They go drinking. I'm not sure if that needed a disclaimer, but at least I've warned you.

"Once, when I was little, my father purchased a snowglobe during one of his business trips as a souvenir, and gave it to me when he returned.

Inside the snowglobe was a little deer, grazing in a field of delicate bellflowers.

When he had the time, we would turn the snowglobe over together, watching the tiny snowflakes gather at the top before inverting it quickly. However, the deer was alone in there, I thought, and I worried for it.

'Don't worry, Nozomi,' my father told me. 'She has a wonderful life. Even if she's trapped, she lives in a perfect world.'

Whenever I look back on this memory now, I wonder—how could I have not seen that that was me all along?" —Toujou Nozomi

Drumming her fingers on the surface of her desk, Maki waited for the phone to connect. To say that she had had a bad day was an understatement. When she'd walked through the doors of Emerg that morning, the sympathetic look on Kotori's face as she handed her her datapad was more than enough to warn about the patients she would be seeing that day.

Sure enough, the surname Yazawa appeared about halfway down her list, and Maki had to resist the temptation to groan out loud. While her relationship with the boy's sister—who unfortunately held the power of medical attorney over her not-yet-of-age brother—had marginally improved since their chat in her office, the way the other woman questioned everything Maki did got on her nerves far more easily than she would've liked to admit. There was always something wrong: whether it was the way the nurses had inserted the IV, or how long the dialysis took every time, or the way the other doctors spoke to her.

Maki had half a mind to ask the black-haired woman how she expected anyone to be polite to her when she didn't know the first thing about manners.

Today, the topic of their argument had been about the donor list.

"Like I said last time, unfortunately, once we've submitted his name to the donor waiting list, we won't hear anything back until they've found a match." It had taken a significant amount of self-control not to pinch the bridge of her nose as she said the words.

"Well, you should call them and tell them to hurry up! If my agency left me hanging for this long, I'd have fired them!" the other woman had snapped back.

Privately, Maki highly doubted that she was telling the truth—she was pretty sure the singer worked for the agency, and not the other way around. She kept her opinion to herself, though, knowing that voicing it aloud would only lead to another argument that she didn't have enough hours in her day to entertain.

When Maki had opened her mouth—once again—to explain, the shorter woman had held up her hand in a defensive gesture. "I don't want to hear whatever excuses you've already come up with. You'd just be wasting my time, and I have a meeting with my agent in thirty minutes, so you can save it." She'd rummaged in her purse and pulled out a bright pink, flowery business card before sliding it over at her on the surface of her desk. "Here's my business card. If anything changes on the waiting list, I want to know about it as soon as possible!"

She'd hoisted her purse over a shoulder, grabbed her little brother's hand, and swept out of the office without so much as a backwards glance.

The mere memory of it was enough to make Maki never want to see her ever again. She expects a call as soon as his status on the waiting list changes? Who the hell does she think I am—a receptionist? She had been tempted to rip the business card in half before she tossed it into the corner of her desk drawer, determined not to call the black-haired woman personally for any reason out of pure spite if nothing else.

The phone in her hand rung twice without an answer, only adding to her foul mood as she impatiently twirled a lock of dark red hair in a finger. She had already attempted to make this particular call twice that afternoon now; she had left a voicemail message both times, and both had gone completely ignored. After the fourth ring, there was a click as someone picked up.

"Hello? Maki-chan? Is that you?" The voice on the other end of the line sounded sleepy—as though she had just woken up—even though it was 1639.

"Honoka," she snapped. "Pick up your damn phone for once." Irritation coloured her syllables as she waited for a response.

"Maki-chan, there's no need to be this rude first thing in the morning."

"It's four forty-five in the afternoon," she retorted. "I've been trying to get ahold of you all day."

"Is it? Oh." There was a pause and a scuffle of what sounded like Honoka getting up and out of bed. When she spoke again, she sounded moderately more awake. "So what can I do for you today, Maki-chan?"

Kousaka Honoka was an unfortunate acquaintance of hers—and the word unfortunate went both ways. If Maki had had things her way, she would've refused to go near the happy-go-lucky orange haired woman with a ten-foot pole. Honoka worked as a lab technician in the hospital—when she could be bothered to wake up to get to her shift on time. Regrettably, she also happened to be in charge of the hospital's requisition orders, which meant that Maki had to go through her every single time she needed new samples for her research. Unfortunately for her, Honoka had taking a liking to her, and Umi and Eli were convinced the reason for that particular liking was because she made a point to ignore ninety-percent of what came out of Honoka's mouth.

Maki didn't know what irritated her more—Yazawa Nico's abrasive, irascible sense of self-importance, or Honoka's ability to get on her nerves with her personality alone.

"Samples," she replied immediately, not wanting to spend more time than necessary on idle chit-chat. "I'm out again."

"Again, Maki-chan?" Honoka asked her, a false tone of exasperation in her voice. "Well… I can get some for you, but you'll have to meet me in person to discuss the ones you wanted."

She repressed an aggravated sigh. "I thought I filled out the order form last time. Can't you just make a copy of that and put it through?"

"Well… I could, but I think I lost them all, so… I kind of need you to fill out another one."

Maki almost snapped the pen she was holding in her other hand.

This day just gets better and better.

"Come on, Maki-chan, it's not that bad. Just meet me at the bar we usually go to and we'll fill it out there."

She bridged her free hand across her forehead. She had made the mistake out going out drinking with Honoka once before, since apparently, the orange-haired woman didn't conduct any kind of business except at a bar. While Maki was in no way against drinking, she liked to drink alone. Umi wholeheartedly disapproved of alcohol in all its forms and was vehemently against bars in general—and the one time she had gone drinking with Eli, the only thing that she could think about while she'd been there was that Eli was going to end up destroying her liver sooner rather than later.

Maki was severely tempted to decline the offer before she resigned herself to the fact that her research was more important. For the sake of her reputation and her future, she could deal with Honoka for a few hours.

"Fine."

"Great! I'll see you there in… three hours!" Honoka hung up on her before she could even protest that she wouldn't be off at the hospital until 1900, which would leave her only half an hour to get to the bar in question.

Why do I do this to myself?

"Maki-chan!"

Maki was greeted by the sound of her own name being called across the small, crowded bar the moment she stepped through the door, and she fought to keep the scowl off her face. She was already attracting looks because she hadn't had time to go home and change after her shift; as a result, she was carrying her lab coat over one arm, her hair was a mess, and she certainly did not need Honoka announcing her first name to everyone who was in earshot.

She settled herself stiffly in the seat across from the orange-haired woman, throwing her lab coat over the back of the chair before resting her cheek against one hand, hoping that the distaste on her face was enough to tip Honoka off that she wasn't in the mood to chat tonight.

Honoka, however, was past being able to read subtle facial expressions, judging by the half-empty glass of liquor in front of her as she handed Maki a menu. She took it, giving Honoka a half-concerned, half-suspicious look over the menu as she gave it a quick glance. Pointing out the drink she wanted to a passing waiter, she impatiently rearranged her purse behind her as Honoka refilled her glass, adding a few new ice cubes into it before she spoke.

"So, Maki-chan. You kind of look like you've had a crappy day."

"You have no idea," she muttered under her breath to herself. Out loud, she said, "Honoka, I thought we were here so I could fill out some forms."

Honoka held up her hands in a gesture of mock self-defence as the waiter returned with her chosen glass of wine, setting it down on the table in front of them. "Yeesh, Maki-chan. I get it. No need to bite my head off!" She rummaged behind her in her backpack, retrieving several slightly crumpled pieces of paper and smoothing them out on the table in front of them.

Maki fished out a pen from the pocket of her lab coat as she pulled the pieces of paper towards her, chewing slightly on the end of it as she ticked off the ones she wanted.

"So Maki-chan, would you care to share what made your day so lousy?"

"Patients," she replied curtly, her attention still mostly absorbed by the forms in front of her. "What else?"

"You always complain about your patients," Honoka said dismissively. "That's not new. The expression on your face is, though. Come on, Maki-chan, you can tell me all about it, right? It has to be someone in particular."

Maki inhaled very slowly, filling her lungs completely as she clicked her pen back into its barrel before she let it out. "Yes," she finally snapped, goaded past what little remained of her patience as she pushed the completed forms back towards Honoka. "She kinda reminds me of you, actually. She doesn't know when to shut up and pushes her boundaries far more often than she should."

Honoka put a wounded look on her face as she took another drink from her glass, wiping her mouth on her sleeve. "Ouch, Maki-chan. I thought we were friends." She delicately plucked a piece of chicken from her platter of food and put it in her mouth, chewing slowly and swallowing before she spoke again. "Seriously, though, Maki, was she that bad?"

Letting out a sigh, Maki squeezed the stem of her wine glass and twirled it around on its rim. "Why would I lie to you, Honoka? I don't know, it's like…" She struggled for a moment to find the words she wanted to say without revealing too much information. "It's like she knows exactly what pisses me off and makes an effort to do it in front of me, then rubs it in my face that I'm a physician. But… she's not a bad person, I mean, I can kinda tell she really cares about her family members; it's just the way she treats everyone else that's a problem."

Honoka raised an orange eyebrow at her over the rim of her whiskey. "That's it?"

"No," she grumbled over her wine glass. "She also spends way too much time talking about how long she's worked to become an idol, what her busy schedule is like, and how dare I schedule her brother's dialysis during one of her photo shoots. Am I supposed to care?"

At that, Honoka laughed outright. "Really? Sounds to me like you actually kinda admire how hard she works and how determined she is to get what she wants. Doesn't that remind you of someone?"

"W-What?" she spluttered, almost upending her drink over Honoka's plate of chicken. "Listen, Honoka, stop drawing parallels when there aren't any! We are nothing alike! Believe me, if one of my family members was in the hospital with a serious injury I sure as hell wouldn't be concerned about what photo shoots I needed to go to."

Honoka smirked. "You're blushing."

"It's the wine."

"All the two sips you've taken?"

"Honoka—"

The other woman held up her hands again. "All right, all right, obviously we've hit a sore spot…"

Maki nearly balled her hands into fists on the tabletop before she remembered where she was. "Listen, Honoka, I didn't come here to discuss my patients! I came here to order some samples because you lost all your order forms!"

Pretending to wipe the corner of her eyes with her hand and giggling profusely, Honoka picked up the sheets of paper lying on the surface of the table and stuffed them back into her backpack. Maki tightened her grip on her wineglass as she raised it by the tiniest margin—the motion drew the other woman's blue gaze to her knuckles as she opened her mouth again. "So when can I pick them up?"

Looking contemplative, Honoka scratched her neck. "Well, I suppose I can get them to you by next week…" She picked up her glass and drained the remainder of her drink as Maki picked up her purse and lab coat, leaving the rest of her wine untouched.

"They'd better be there when I call you next week then," she tossed over her shoulder as she got up to make her way over to the door, ignoring Honoka's surprised, indignant call after her.

Exiting the bar, Maki wasn't completely sure whether the heat on her cheeks was from the balmy summer evening outside or the warmth of the room inside.

She checked her watch: 2027. She still had a few hours that she could spend in her laboratory with the last of her samples before she had to get some sleep.

Eli stood outside of Toujou's door, holding her phone tightly in slender fingers. Blonde bangs clung to her forehead in messy curls, but at the moment, she was past caring about the state of her hair.

She had been utterly unprepared for the conversation that Umi had dropped on her head when the bounty hunter had arrived home early in the afternoon after being given the clear to go from the manufacturing district by the army. They had had a short discussion about the request Hoshizora Rin had made of her before Umi paused, her amber eyes troubled as she opened and closed her mouth several times soundlessly before taking a long breath.

The blue-haired woman had gestured to a chair in Maki's laboratory. "Sit."

She had given her friend a confused, skeptical look. "What do I need to sit for?"

Uncharacteristically, Umi pulled over the other chair in Maki's absence and sat down too, fiddling with the ends of her hair. "There's something else. With Rin, I mean," she had begun, twisting the fabric of her shirt in restless hands. "She told me that someone who matched Alisa's description came into her shop a few days ago and asked for your phone number. Rin wanted to know what we wanted her to do." Umi had held up her hands in a halting gesture to stop the flood of words Eli was sure was more than obvious on her face that she wanted to say. "I gave it to her."

There had been a pause that stretched to long minutes filled with nothing but the sound of breathing as she tried to process the five words that Umi had just said to her. It had felt impossible. Her chest had suddenly been sized by an overwhelming emptiness that she had no idea how begin to work out how to fill—she wasn't sure if she wanted to.

Finally, the blue-haired woman had gotten up, her right hand twitching in a motion that Eli couldn't immediately identify. "I… didn't want that decision to be yours alone. If this was a mistake, and something goes wrong, you can blame it on me." Umi brushed past her, laying a hand on her shoulder for a fraction of a heartbeat before she let herself out of the underground laboratory, leaving Eli to sit there alone with her thoughts and the emotions that the simple conversation had the ability to unearth.

Of course, her mentality had been anything but simple when her phone had vibrated in her pocket sometime during the evening. She had glanced at it briefly, realizing that she did not recognize the number displayed on the screen. Some conglomeration of apprehension and pain clawed at her interior as her heart rate elevated from zero to a hundred in the span of less than a second. Indecision and irrational anguish crowded her mind at the mere thought of opening it, before her trembling fingers made the decision her brain could not.

She tapped the message icon on her screen, despite half of herself telling her she should've just deleted it without even giving it so much as another glance in case it contained something that she was in no way prepared to handle mentally.

It had been very brief in its intent.

Sis. We didn't get a chance to talk properly the last time we met—for that, I'm sorry. It was unfair of me to react the way I did, and I wish it could've gone differently. If I said that four years made me a terrible person, would you believe me?

I'd still like to meet you. To actually talk to you like a human being. Can you meet me tomorrow night where we met last? —A

She had stared at the characters in the message for a very long time.

Unconsciously, her fingers were dialling another number before Eli had realized what she was doing. Somehow, she was able to process the logistics of why she was calling Toujou's secretary, but unable to even begin to sort out her doubts and insecurities. Letting them rest—for the time being—in the back of her mind was the least painful, least effortful solution to take.

I… don't actually know how to get there. Even if I did, I don't have the means to get there by myself. In fact, I only know one person who can get me there tomorrow evening.

She couldn't even let herself consider the fact that Toujou could simply say no, or otherwise deny her request because it was impossible; Eli wasn't even sure if she could muster the composure to speak to Koizumi in an acceptable way. It didn't even occur to her at the time that this would be the first time she would be the one making a request for them to meet.

The brunette had picked up on the second ring. "T-This is Tokyo's district office. Koizumi speaking. H-How can I help you?"

Her voice had come out far more controlled than Eli had felt at the moment. "This is Ayase Eli."

"Oh! A-Ayase-san! What can I do for you?"

She paused, hesitating. Somehow, she didn't think there would be any way to put her request into words that wouldn't make her sound emotional and desperate. "I… I need to see Toujou-sama," she had said. "Tomorrow."

Her words sounded way too demanding in her head, but there was nothing she could do about it—there was no way she was disclosing the reasoning behind her request over the phone.

"T-Tomorrow? Uhm… I'll have to check with her on that. I-Is it okay if I call you back?"

"Fine," she heard herself say, although Eli felt strangely detached from the situation at hand at the moment as she slowly lowered her phone from her ear. Realistically, she had known that that was an outcome she should've prepared herself for, but it didn't curtail the bitter, disappointed impatience that rose in her chest like a wave. She crushed it, feeling uncomfortably alive and unsure of what to do with herself.

Koizumi had called her back within half an hour. "Ayase-san?" The brown-haired woman's timid tones came over the speakers as she held her phone to her ear in a grip that was unnecessarily tight. "Toujou-sama said if you come right at 1345 tomorrow, she'll be able to see you. I-Is that okay?"

"I'll be there." Hanging up, she had stared at the black surface of her cellphone for an indecent amount of time. "Damn it," she muttered, cursing out loud to no one in particular, unable to express the weight of emotion sitting like a lump of greasy snow at the back of her throat in any other way.

Things are happening just too damn fast.

Time had indeed found a way to speed itself up—at least, it seemed that way to her—because Eli found that now that she was actually here, she didn't know which prospect she was more afraid of: speaking to Toujou, or the possibility of what could happen that night.

The time on her watch read 1343.

She raised a hand to knock on the door to Toujou's office, but it was trembling so badly that she pulled it back and clenched it into a fist, knowing that that was not how she wanted to present herself to the district ruler this afternoon. She couldn't hear any voices coming from behind the heavy wood, but it only served to slightly assuage her sense of trepidation.

Eli forced herself to breathe only through her nose to make her breathing seem calmer than she felt. Counting to ten mentally as if to steel herself, she raised her hand again to knock once.

There was silence for perhaps five seconds, and she wondered whether it would be appropriate for her to knock again, before there was a response. "Come in."

Prising her fingers out of the ball they were in, Eli turned the doorknob and closed the door behind her, pushing her bangs back off her forehead in an attempt to make them look more presentable.

Toujou was settled in her usual chair, but there was something… off about the way her emerald gaze was fixed on her that instantly made Eli uneasy as she took a few steps forward. She fought the temptation to furrow her eyebrows.

There was silence between them for several long heartbeats, both of them staring at each other as though it was a contest to see who could unravel whose control first, before Toujou broke it, shifting ever so slightly in her seat as she rested her chin on the backs of her interlocked fingers. "Koizumi-san informed me that you wanted to see me?"

Eli noticed that she had purposely left the end of her sentence vague, as if to avoid addressing her by name on purpose. Ignoring it for the time being, she'd decided that it could only help her case if she was upfront about the reason why she was here. "I need your help."

"Oh? What kind of help are we talking about?"

She found herself staring at her boots against the plush carpet beneath them, before Eli looked up again, determined to meet Toujou's mildly curious, verdant gaze as she voiced her request. "I… I need to go to the outskirts of the city tonight."

Toujou held her gaze in a long, calculating look. Eli got the sense that the woman opposite her was thinking very hard, though only a flicker of emotion crossed her face before she spoke again. "Is this for your sister?" Her voice was soft and unchallenging, but she could hear the unspoken question behind it all the same. After all, they both knew that Toujou had been there that night and had seen everything—it was just that the topic had never been brought up between them at an appropriate time. They had come close several times, but neither of them had wanted to take that last step to breach that particular topic.

"Yes. She found another way to get ahold of me." Eli paused, not sure why or how the unnecessary explanation had slipped out when she had avoided saying the words out loud for over a day, perhaps out of irrational fear that once she acknowledged it aloud, it would somehow invalidate them akin to a heat-induced dream that had never existed. "She told me she wanted to talk." She left it at that; there was a sharp edge to every word that scraped her throat raw as they cut their way out.

Eli wondered if her emotions were as obvious to Toujou as they were to her.

The violet-haired woman was silent for a very long time. "And you need my help to get you there… correct?" she finally asked.

"Yes," she said again. She was on the verge of adding if you're willing to on the end of her sentence, but she bit down on the tip of her tongue to stop the syllables from coming out. Eli looked down at her hands, knotted together tightly enough to turn her knuckles white before she glanced upwards, finding Toujou's piercing jade expression trained on her own.

Blue eyes met the green as Eli held her gaze.

"Well, I certainly would be able to get you to where you'd like to go, Eli-san. However…" She took a breath. "There's something I'd like to ask of you in return."

Eli tilted her head to one side in surprise. She reigned in her initial reaction as she disentangled her hands from themselves and resisted the temptation to cross them over her chest. "What is it?" she asked slowly, unsure of what to expect and even more wary of what Toujou could possibly want from her.

Toujou raised her head upwards by the smallest degree, raising her chin off her hands. "I've been meaning to ask you about something." Her words were serene, yet careful, as though they had been practiced many times over in her head—and perhaps they had. "Last week, I heard you on the phone with Sonoda-san," she admitted, although there was no trace of bashfulness in the confession as she continued. "You were discussing Izayoi—and the other citizens of this district like him, I presume. I want to know… Is that how you see us?" She folded her hands onto the surface of her desk in front of her. "Is that how you see me?"

Incredulous shock held Eli's body in place as both Toujou's words and her gaze intensified at her last sentence, until she could barely read the expression etched into her delicate features.

Of all the conversations she could've overheard… it had to be that one.

Eli's immediate reaction would've been to move her hands up to her face to hide her own expression, but her limbs felt as though they had been carved out of ice—stiff, cold, and altogether unwilling to cooperate. Words and explanations seemed to cross her mind at a million miles an hour, but none of them seemed to have the capability to move out of her mouth.

Her initial instinct had been to deny it, of course—but that was the answer they both knew she was supposed to give. Even if she didn't know Toujou at all, Eli knew that that answer had no purpose in being said aloud because it couldn't have been more meaningless. So… am I supposed to be honest then? Even if I have absolutely nothing positive to say?

A memory surfaced to the forefront of her mind. "There's nobody around me who actually says what's on their mind, much less lets slip how they're feeling at the moment."

For some reason, the memory of the words gave her a marginal sort of confidence as she squared her shoulders to meet Toujou's gaze once more. "No," she said at last.

In a way, she felt like she owed the other woman the truth. Even if it would come to be a mistake to accept her initial offer, Eli couldn't deny that Toujou had given her the opportunity she had been chasing after in the last four years. Her conscience demanded that she be truthful, but the part of her mind that spoke to reason and not emotion told her just how terrible of an idea that was. It wasn't even the thought that it could very well be the wrong thing to say; there was also the fact that Eli knew all too well just how awful she was at navigating through anything that had to do with her own feelings—being upfront with how she felt was something she usually did her best to hide.

To Toujou's credit, she kept her mouth shut as Eli continued. "You're right. For all the politicians and businessmen out there, sitting in their rich corporations and making laws about a city they don't know at all... that's exactly how I feel—and the more time I spend around them, the less I feel my opinion of them is going to change. Of course, there are people out there who want to do the right thing, but it doesn't take them long to become too intimidated to continue, or they change their ways because they've realized it's just easier to lie to themselves and say that this city is fine the way it is when they know that it couldn't be further from the truth."

There was a spark of something immovable and unshakable in Toujou's expression as she said the words. "I'm sorry you feel that way," she murmured softly after a long pause, finally averting her gaze to look at the wall over Eli's shoulder. "I guess… I wouldn't know what it feels like to live in a city that's governed by forces far beyond what I could control, knowing the things that you do about the people who make those decisions."

Eli clamped her hand over her mouth when she realized what the words she'd just said must've sounded like to Toujou. "No," she repeated. "I-I'm sorry… that's not what I meant." The words broke past her carefully constructed walls in her haste to rectify her statement: a truth that she would've otherwise been too embarrassed to ever say out loud. "I admire the fact that you still want to do the right thing, even after four years of being told that that's not how this city works." The volume of her voice dropped, almost catching her unaware as she stared at the floor, wanting to hide what she was sure was a flustered expression in case Toujou was looking at her. "I think… if things were different, we could've been friends," she admitted quietly.

The moment the words left her lips, Eli hesitated, gaze still fixated on the carpet, wondering if she'd made another mistake. She searched inside for the denial that she was sure she would find, but it didn't come. It dawned on her that she had spoken the truth. At least, this is how I feel.

Silence held them both captive for several minutes as the words sunk in like a metaphorical anchor. When Eli finally looked up again, finally having wrested the features of her face under control once more, she realized with a jolt that Toujou was staring at her, wearing the familiar small half-smile on her face as she stood. "Nothing's stopping us from being friends now, you know."

The violet-haired woman held her astonished cerulean gaze for a few heartbeats longer before she reached for the phone on her desk. She picked it up and dialled a number on it, speaking briefly to the person on the other end before hanging up.

Toujou stopped next to her as she walked over to the door of her office, rearranging the braid on her left shoulder. "Someone will meet you outside tonight to take you to the outer district." She paused. "So, have you thought about it? Do you think that it's a possibility?"

It took Eli a moment to realize what Toujou was asking her. When she ultimately found her voice, she discovered that even though the answer hovering at the tip of her tongue felt strange, it also felt natural in the same haphazard way.

"Thank you," she murmured, before she turned her head to meet the expectant, inquiring green gaze, wholeheartedly not expecting the genuine warmth in it. "And… I think so."