After that night things changed. By some fortune the tension that had formed between Frodo and I did not grow any worse. But neither did it lessen any. With circumstances being what they were, and a long journey still ahead of us all, a sort of stability was formed. The argument was not spoken of, mutually put aside. Sam knew better than to ask about it and maintained his story that he had been asleep the whole time, and the falsehood was overlooked so as not to involve him. Gollum said nothing, and no one even asked him if he had been awakened by our not so quiet voices, or had managed to sleep on. The creature when on doing what he was good at, muttering to himself when things became too quiet, guiding us onward, and making Sam and I feel unsettled about the way he whispered and lurked.

I thought of my friend's well-being often. I watched Frodo to see how much he ate and slept, and tried to gauge how he felt. It seemed the argument between us had at least reminded Frodo that he should be eating more than he was. The little good that it had brought made me feel the smallest degree better. And yet there were so many things that remained on my mind…

"Miss Fali?" Sam asked as we walked along, the two of us a few paces behind Frodo, and even farther away from Gollum.

"Yes Sam?" And for a moment I thought that Sam might come forward and ask about the argument.

"Are you feeling well?" He asked.

I blinked in response, surprised by this question. "Yes, of course." I nodded. "Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't mean to sound as though I'm prying." Sam went on. "But I couldn't help but notice you've been in lower spirits these last few days. Ever since Faramir sent us off again…"

"To be fair, Faramir's capturing of us was wearisome. I'm simply recovering from it still."

"I also can't help but notice you've been ignoring that you're lower spirits." Sam added, and waited in the brief silence that followed for me to answer.

"This journey...it's been more difficult than I expected."

"It's more than it being difficult." Sam said. "You keep trying to see if Frodo remembers to rest, but I've seen how you wake up in the middle of the night. You shift around in your sleep a lot. I think you've started having nightmares, and quite a few of them."

"Regardless, there's not much that can be done about what my dreams contain."

"So you have been having trouble sleeping." Sam sighed.

"There's not much you can do about it either Sam, please don't let what's happening to Frodo and I have a great effect on you."

"Fine." He nodded. "But you'll have to promise me you'll be listening to your own advice and not go wearing yourself out when there's not much we can do about Frodo's matters."

I stared at him for a moment. "You wanted me to say those words, just so you could repeat them back to me." Sam shrugged in reply. "And I thought Merry and Pippin were the ones who played tricks." I smirked. "Clever work, Samwise."

"You haven't promised anything yet." Sam reminded me. "Go on."

"Too clever…" I muttered to myself. "I'll remember to take care of myself." I promised him. "I'm sorry for worrying you about it. Frodo's actions…his forgetfulness at times…it's troubling. It can make me forget other important things, and it bothers me when I try to sleep." I sighed. "But we must be optimistic."

"How you manage to keep on being optimistic is unbelievable." Sam said.

"It's a natural talent." I replied, though in the wilted landscape we were walking through, humor seemed to be out of our grasp. "Remember what Frodo once said? 'One foot in front of the other'? We must think of finishing this journey like that. With every step we are closer to finishing what we started. With every passing second we are one second closer to returning home."

"That's a happy thought." He said.

/

I dreamt that night of her. My mother, Rue, the nymph under the mountain. It was not the recreation of a memory, but something that never existed, only played out in my mind. I stood before her as I was, exactly how I looked when I had fallen asleep. She stood as I had last seen her, when we had departed from Rivendell.

"Fali." She looked me over. "My poor girl, you look so tired."

"You look so real." I replied.

"You've done so well." She smiled, and touched my cheek in a comforting fashion. "Frodo and Sam are both alive, and you've guided them well. You've kept going through all your challenges."

"You always said I was stubborn." I replied. "Father said I got that from you."

"Your father could be pretty stubborn when he wanted to be too." Mother added. "It's in the blood of the line of Durin, if you ask me."

"Mother?"

"Yes, Fali?"

"Do you remember when I was young and-?"

"Very fondly." My mother interrupted me. "Those were some of my favorite years, when all of you were young." She smirked to herself. "When I was younger myself."

"I wanted to be like you." I finished.

"Oh yes, I knew you wanted to live as I lived."

"How did you live through what you saw?" I asked.

"I had help." She answered. "Your father, your family, the kingdom that needed to be rebuilt."

"All those things are so far away from me." I said. "Even Frodo feels far away. It feels as though Sam and I are losing him."

"You will find him again." She smiled. "One day this will end, and somehow, though you will never know how, what happened to you will become stories that you will tell your own children. And when their faces light up you'll forget how frightened you were when you were fighting."

"I don't think I would want my children to be as adventurous as I was."

"Was?"

"All I want now is to go home, and return to all of you. I want to see all of you, sleep well for a night."

"There are different kinds of adventures." Mother replied. "Have you forgotten all the times we went to the Shire? Yes, it has no fire breathing dragons, thank Mahal for that, but it was the people who were waiting for us there that made going there an adventure." She stroked my cheek again. "And what about you and your brothers? Do you think it was easy to raise you? To teach you right and keep you happy and well? You were all challenging in different ways, and seeing you grow up and become who you were was one of the most rewarding adventures your father and I ever had."

"It didn't sound very thrilling when compared to Smaug and the burning of Laketown. Or Mirkwood where you met Aunt Tauriel. Or Rivendell…"

"Yes, far off places were something you wanted nearly all your life." Mother said. "Oh, my sweet girl, I knew from the moment you had a sword in your hand, just a little wooden blade, no more than a toy, that it would be replaced with a true weapon in time, and soon you would be sparing. My only daughter…you did your best to be a lady and warrior both."

"I'm sorry I was never very good at being a lady." I sighed. "Too many rules, too many manners…"

"Too many dwarves teaching you less than appropriate etiquette." Mother spoke of all my uncles. "Do not worry, at your age I wasn't much of a lady either."

"Given how you first met the company of Thorin Oakenshield, that can almost be taken literally." I snickered softly.

My mother laughed in return. "I miss you." I said. "I wish you...this whole meeting…was real." I shook my head. "I can't remember what I even wanted to have an adventure for anymore."

"I did not know why I wanted to join in a quest either, but I did so." Mother comforted me. "And with every day it became clear to me why I choose to travel to far off places, and fight in great battles." She looked at me seriously. "Not for thrills Fali, nor to have my name spoken of in legends, or to gain fortune. I did great things, dangerous things, because of people."

"Like Father?" I asked. "And Great-uncle Thorin?"

"Yes." She nodded. "The people I knew and loved. The people who I wanted to protect. And the people I had never met but wanted to do right for. If adventures were just for displaying bravery and skill, and running from one daring escape to the next they would have no purpose. We do impossible things, make great journeys, for those we care about."

"Frodo and Sam." I smiled. "And Gideon, and Boromir…Gimli, Aragorn and everyone else."

"So long as there are people you have left to fight for, to protect and guide, you have an adventure on your hands."

"Thank you." I smiled, happy to have reached this conclusion on my own, as it was my own dream, and yet disappointed, for hearing those words from my mother in the flesh would have been welcome and heartwarming.

I was reminded of previous dreams of this nature where I had seen Boromir, and recalled that I could not bring forth anything I didn't know already. "Mother?" I asked. "Have you said this to me before?"

"Yes, many times."

"I can't remember them."

"You probably wouldn't, you only half listened to me." She replied. "My words seemed to go in one of your ears, sail straight through your head and then shoot out the other. You were young, you wanted to be young and indestructible while you could be."

"I'm sorry I didn't pay attention. It must have been wearisome to keep telling me something over and over and not have it stick in my head."

"But I did keep telling you, with hopes that one day it would." She replied. "I only wish you may have realised my words sooner."

"Before I left." I nodded.

"Yes." Mother nodded, soberly.

"I'll be home soon." I promised. "I'll tell you that I did remember…the real you." I kissed my Mother's cheek. My dream dissipated and I was rewarded with a deep, satisfying slumber, with no dream of Gollum to interrupt it.

"You treacherous little thief!" I was startled awake and for a bleary moment as I was still waking I thought I had spoke too soon. No, I thought. Something is different. I can't hear my heart beating any louder, and Gollum has always been silent in this dream before.

Gollum…where was he? Now fully awake I realised that I was still on my bedroll. I could hear Gollum calling out for Frodo.

"Leave him alone Sam!" I turned where I sat, and saw everyone around the edge of a pond, Gollum cowering by the water's edge, seeming to sink lower and lower to the ground, and Frodo had stepped in between him and Sam, who looked furious. I regretted sleeping so soundly.

"I heard him say it himself! He means to murder us!"

At the mention of murder I jumped up, throwing my shoulders back. Yes, I thought. This stance is familiar to me. No more worrying, no more wasting time arguing, no more letting Frodo slip away. I stormed over to them.

"Never! Smeagol wouldn't hurt a fly!" Words I didn't believe in the slightest." He's a hobbit, a fat hobbit who hates Smeagol. He's making up nasty lies!"

Sam did not take kindly to those words and for the first time in his life threatened to smash in someone's head. Had it not been Gollum's I would have been more shocked, but I could feel my temper building against the creature.

I placed my hand on the hilt of my blade threateningly and stormed over. "What have you done now?!" I demanded. I pulled out my sword and pointed it at him threateningly.

"Fali, don't!" Frodo reprimanded me.

"Do not interfere Frodo." I said, keeping my voice even. "You yourself have pointed your blade at others, this creature included."

Gollum tried to hide behind Frodo like a scared dog, and I pushed Frodo a few paces backward, keeping them separated. "Do not touch him." I practically snarled. "Wouldn't hurt a fly, would you?" I began to corner him against the edge of the pond. "I have seen what you do. Or have you forgotten how I watch you tear groudlings apart when you followed me on a hunt?" I looked down at him, as he cowered.

"Calling me a liar….he's the one telling lies!" Sam snapped.

"Please!" Frodo shouted at us. "If we scare him off we're lost!"

"I don't care! I can't do it Mister Frodo!" Sam burst.

"Neither can I." I added, my tone still hard and even. "I've put up with him for as long as I could, but he's not even worth all the struggle now." I looked back at Frodo. "There may have been a time when we needed him to guide us, but we can't have him with us anymore." Frodo looked as though he didn't believe me. "We can't keep him any longer Frodo. We can make it there without him, I promise. We don't need him. He's become unstable, unpredictable. The only reason he's stayed with us so long is out of pity."

"I'm not sending him away." Frodo was firm.

"How can you not see it Mister Frodo?" Sam asked. "He's a villain."

"We can't finish this by ourselves. We still need a guide." He looked at us hopefully. "I need the two of you on my side."

"We are on your side, Mister Frodo."

"Then you must trust me." Frodo said, and held out an open palm for Gollum, who rushed forward to grasp his hand. Frodo glanced over to me, and with a sigh, I placed my sword back at my belt.

I walked ahead of Frodo, spinning around to face him and continuing my steps backward. "I am on your side Frodo, you must believe me. You know I have been your friend since you were a very young child." I glanced at Gollum harshly. "So you must believe me when I saw it is because I am on your side that I want us to rid ourselves of Gollum now."

"We need a guide. We know longer know the way to Mordor on our own."

"It cannot be too difficult, we still have a map with us, we can manage."

"What does it know? Nothing." Gollum said to me.

"I would be quiet if I were you." I snapped. "I happen to know a great deal more than you think." I turned my attention back to Frodo. "I know that you pity him, that you want to help him, and that somehow this journey will make him better, but it's time we looked past all our pity. Gollum is dangerous. I believe he wouldn't hurt a fly when he is cowering, but when he is his usual sneaking self I believe he could do anything to harm us. I don't trust him, and I don't believe you should either."

"If I don't send him away, what will you do?" Frodo asked. "Will you leave?"

"No." I replied firmly. "I'm not going anywhere. I may not care about him, but I do care about you and Sam, and so whether you listen to me or not, I'll be staying here with you. Even if things only get worse from now on."

Which I heavily suspected they would.

Frodo seemed to judge my words, but looked apologetic as he answered "He stays."

I frowned, but kept my back straight and head high. "Very well then." I nodded. "Just know that I'll be watching you." I narrowed my eyes and glared at Gollum. "Very closely."

I faced forward again, letting myself fall back until I was walking beside Sam. "Am I in higher spirits again Sam?" I asked.

"You are." He nodded. "Thank goodness for that."

"Good." I nodded. "Now try your best to keep up. I don't want Frodo to get very far away from us with that creature."

If I had not known any better, I may have sworn Gollum was smirking back at Sam and I.