Chapter 46

Too Much of a Good Thing

The sun shone fiercely over Hogwarts, yet the air was cold and crisp, as Severus Snape strode across the castle's boundless green lawn towards the Great Lake. The sunlight glinted blindingly off the shimmering blue water, and Snape could see the large mass of the giant squid slinking in and out of the water. He briskly walked towards three figures on the far shore, directly across from the castle.

Albus Dumbledore was in an animated discussion with Minerva McGonagall, as they both watched Professor Grubby-Plank flail about in the shallow water of the lake, unsteadily wielding a large, green fishing net – the substitute Care of Magical Creatures teacher appeared to be having trouble catching anything and was becoming soggier by the moment.

Snape reached the pair and shot a sneering glance at Grubby-Plank floundering in the water, "Hagrid still in the wind?"

Dumbledore gave a short nod, "Yes, but he's very capable. I'm sure he can handle himself."

McGonagall added, "What exactly did the giantess say Albus? Because she's already safe and sound at Beauxbatons from what my friends tell me."

"I only received a brief message from her and she said Hagrid was ok, but had to take the long way home. And that she wished him well but didn't agree with that he was doing."

"What he's doing? He's always been a tad gullible, that one."

For a few minutes, the three Hogwarts' stalwarts stood in silence, listening to Grubby-Plank splash around and continue to fail to catch even one of the black fish that were leaping around her.

Snape raised a scrawny arm in front of him, "What the hell is she doing?"

"Trying to collect some pregnant black salmon for the upcoming semester, I've extended her contract just to be safe," replied Dumbledore, acknowledging the uncertainty around Hagrid's whereabouts. "Did they mention anything recently Severus?"

"Nothing's changed, the Dark Lord is still unaware of who sent the dementors, but the order must have come from someone powerful at the Ministry – those creatures listen to no one else. The dark spies in the ministry have uncovered nothing, and their new task to discover the truth and recruit the man responsible."

"Or woman," McGonagall replied with a laugh. "A full criminal trial to deal with a simple case of underage magic? Dementor attacks? I feel as though the ministry has made it clear whose side they are on."

"No Minerva, they are unwittingly doing Voldemort's bidding, but, how can I say this…they know just enough to be dangerous. Fudge is scared of what all powerful men are afraid of, losing power. He's afraid of me, believes I want to become Minister."

"Preposterous."

"He's a fool, you've turned down the opportunity twice!"

"You're both correct, but Fudge's insecurity blinds him. And sadly, it's always innocent people who suffer when powerful men make bad decisions. And this brings me to something else I wanted to discuss with the two of you. As I'm sure you're both aware, I'm having some difficulty finding someone to hire for my annual teaching vacancy…"

"And I've volunteered every single year for the past decade to teach the dark arts, I do not see why I cannot even be given an opportunity!"

Dumbledore held up a hand with a tired sigh, "Severus, please, I have no desire to engage in another lengthy discussion on the matter. I very much like you right where you are."

"You really believe I'm not suited for the subject? Or that I could somehow be tempted to my follow my previous mistakes? Relapse to the dark?"

"Of course not! I have my reasons; now may I continue?"

Snape looked away in annoyance, but didn't utter a retort.

"It appears as if Fudge is going to be putting forth his own candidate for the post, and…"

Snape gave a snort of derision and McGonagall gasped, "How's that possible Albus? The law's quite clear, Hogwarts is not to be influenced or interfered with, even from the government."

"Laws can be changed."

"That fast?"

"Apparently. I'm sure if we submitted a proper legal challenge, we could eventually overturn such an over reach of power, but for now both the Ministry and the Board of Governors have deemed it so."

"Board of Governors, more like Lucius and his cabal of sycophants," griped McGonagall, but her tone was one of resignation. "Who are they giving us?"

"That is still undecided, but in any event we have to keep our circle tight this year. If we must speak of sensitive matters or anything pertaining to the Order, please do so in my office. And never let Harry stray too far from your sight. Fudge has made it clear that if I am public enemy number 1, then young Harry is number 2 – and I've also decided to take a step back from our young charge for the time being, and I will look to the both of you to fill that gap."

"But why? I still don't understand your logic on that."

"Let's just say I believe it's prudent at this point in time, and I'd like you, Severus, to start preparing Occlumency lessons for him as soon as you can. We need to teach him out to protect his greatest asset, his mind."

"But why not you? He respects and trusts you, I daresay he's grown to love you."

"Come now my boy, it's becoming apparent the psychic mind bridge between Harry and Voldemort is growing stronger, and I think it's best I kept my distance. I want you to teach him to close his mind, I want this connection closed permanently, if possible. Now, I'd appreciate weekly updates from the two of you regarding Harry, no matter how trivial or mundane you believe your news to be.

Splash! The three teachers turned their attention to Grubby-Planks as she again fell into the water, and then stood up unsteadily, drenched and shivering.

"Oh for goodness' sake," muttered McGonagall, "Let me help the poor woman."

As McGonagall walked down to the lake's edge, Dumbledore turned his attention back to Snape and said in a low voice, "Have you considered my idea?"

"I consider it idiotic. You want me to speak to a healer, or some kind of therapist? Have you gone round the bend?"

"I believe it would help you to speak to someone Severus, think of it as a balm for your psyche. I don't like you're so alone, I think if you had someone to vent to and bounce ideas of off, someone who was separate from the Order or the dark legion, it would help make your burden easier to carry."

Snape's lip quivered and he bite down hard as he looked away to the castle. "I speak with you."

"And you will always have my support, as you've had for the past 15 years. But I foresee a tumultuous year ahead and I won't be as readily available as I've been."

"Spill my secrets to a healer? It would be tantamount to a death sentence for me, and the healer as well. What do you imagine would happen? I spill my guts, get some advice and then obliviate the therapist at the end of the whining session?"

"Actually, I was thinking we could induct the healer into the Order and secure his loyalty, or perhaps an unbreakable vow?"

"I will not let a new person into my mind, you won't convince me!"

"Then what about that recipe I mentioned. I've never known you to shy away from mastering a new and complicated brew. It will help calm the burdens in your mind, and I thought you might welcome the challenge. In fact, I experienced the pleasure of drinking some of it in my youth and it was quite helpful," Dumbledore have a slight smile and stared into space, remember a long-ago adventure.

Snape resolutely stared out across the lake, but eventually held out a pale hand. Dumbledore reached into his robs, removed a sheaf of brittle, faded yellow pages, and dropped them into the waiting hand.

Severus Snape bustled to and fro in his private potions room, which sat ensconced behind a trap wall in his dungeon office. He fussed over a large black cauldron sitting atop a slow burning fire. Strewn across a cutting table were mushrooms, herbs, unicorn hair, hellebore, lionfish gills and the cracked shells of a dragon egg.

Hazy vapors floated up lazily from a gurgling yellow liquid, giving Snape a euphoric buzz. He knew the potion was similar to a powerful hallucinogenic, and reminded himself not to let this thoughts wander, yet he could not help but think of Lily, she had been a true equal at potions.

He imagined her sitting on the table behind him, reading the instructions in her ever cheery voice, her long red hair perfectly braided and resting on her shoulder. He closed his eyes, as she rolled up the sleeves of her school robes, her beautiful white skin, with small reddish hairs dotting her arms, chuckling at some small joke he made.

She'd then remind him they had plans to go to Hogsmeade together the next weekend – Snape smiled and swayed as he stood over the cauldron, his hand subconsciously touching his silver necklace, his most precious possession…he could smell her…suddenly Snapes eyes popped open and his red reverie ended. The necklace had turned ice cold, Dumbledore and the Order wanted a meeting.

Snape dipped his wand into the brew, muttered something under his breath, and the wand began to stir the potion on its own. Satisfied, Snape strode out and began shutting down his mind, burying Lily far down into the depths of his memory house.

An hour later, Snape found himself standing between No. 11 and 13 Grimmauld Place. He clenched his teeth and thought about No. 12 and within a fast second, a battered down townhouse appeared in front of him, soon followed by grubby walls and grime steaked windows. It was as if a new house and squeezed into the thin crack between No. 11 and 12, and began inflating itself between then.

Snape quickly strode up the steps and soundlessly slipped into the House of Black. He gently closed the front door and light footed down a long foyer, his eyes warily darting to dusty curtains covering an old portrait. Careful not to make a sound, he reached the end of the hall, to a door that led down to a basement kitchen. As he opened the door, he noticed long, flesh-colored pieces of string laying on the floor and quickly waved his wand at the them. There was a bright flash and suddenly the ends of the string were cauterized and he heard yelps of surprise above him.

Sneering, Snape walked down the basement stairs, and steeled himself - Order meetings were just as tense as Death Eater gatherings, surrounded by enemies on all sides. The basement in Grimmauld Place was a cavernous room with rough, stone walls and a large fire pit at the far end. Cast iron pots and pans suspended from the ceiling and the air hung heavy, as there was not much ventilation. There was a large wooden dining table in the middle of the room and sitting around it was Sirius Black, Remus Lupin and Mad-Eye Moody.

The three Order members were talking amongst themselves, but fell silent as a black shadow swept into the room. Snape stood at the threshold of the room, not saying a word, just staring blankly at everyone. Sirius and Mad-Eye stared back, whereas Lupin tried to play pacifier.

"Hello Severus, Dumbledore isn't here just yet. Care to take a seat?"

Snape responded by turning his gaze to Lupin, but gave no other indication he heard anything.

"Snivellus never was one to mind his manners Remus," spat Sirius. "Don't waste your time with him."

"Charming as always Black, I'd have thought embarrassment might have stayed your tongue, but apparently nothing will," replied Snape.

"Embarrassment?"

"Well yes, unless, wait don't tell me, you're actually proud playing house-elf while the rest of us risk our lives?"

"Dumbledore has ordered me home, I've no choice in the matter as you well know."

"Dumbledore said you can't step a toe outside? Come now Black, you're amongst friends, no need for deception. We all know Azkaban sapped what little courage and integrity you had. I imagine you love your new role, close to the action yet never actually stepping into it."

As Sirius pounced up from his chair, brandished his wand and pointed it at Snape, Lupin jumped to his feet and tried to step in front of him. Mad-Eye leaned back in his chair, apparently interested in where this would lead, traces of a faint smile danced upon his thin lips.

Snape didn't move a muscle and just gave a hollow laugh. "Going to hex me Black? Very brave of you."

"Hex? Maybe something a little more powerful is needed for vermin like you!"

"Please Sirius, we're all on the same side," pleaded Lupin, as he put two hands into Sirius' chest. "There's no need…"

"Let him go Lupin," whispered Snape as he shrugged out of his traveling cloak and slowly unsheathed his wand. "It's been a long time coming."

Sirius feinted left, and then moved right, using his left arm to push Lupin aside. But as he raised his wand, the anger left his eyes and the incantation never left his lips. His eyes flicked past Snape to something standing behind the potions master. Sirius than lowered his wand and sat down, as Albus Dumbledore walked into the room and took a seat at the head of the table.

Snape appeared as if he was contemplating something important, but stowed his wand back in his robes, picked up his traveling cloak, and stood in front of the table.

Dumbledore raised his hand and broke the tense silence, "Severus, thank you for coming. I know you've duties you must attend to at school, but I wanted to hear the latest from your lips directly. Most of the Order is indisposed at the moment, so you may begin."

Snape's eyes flashed to Sirius, but whatever insult he had been thinking about washed away. "The Dark Lord is still…confused about the events that transpired in the graveyard. He still cannot explain what happened between the wands, or the dome that was created. He has tasked a few people to Western Europe to track down wand lore historians and find an explanation as to what transpired that night."

Snape began pacing up and down as he talked, closing his eyes, and accessing his memory house. "His thoughts seem to be preoccupied with three things: the department of mysteries, understanding what occurred during His duel with Potter in the graveyard and finding the person in the Ministry who sent the dementors and would likely be sympathetic to the dark cause."

"Can you explain what happened in the graveyard?" asked Mad-Eye, as he looked at Dumbledore with his normal eye and kept his spinning magic eye trained firmly on Snape.

Dumbledore gave a gentle shrug, "It's part of an ancient magic, in the same vein of that which protected Harry so many years ago. But even I'm unsure, perhaps because the two wands shared the same core? I will make a note to ask Olivander when I see him next. Severus, please continue."

"He seems done punishing all the Death Eaters who returned, there were numerous threats of death, but ultimately no one who returned was killed. He's smart enough to realize he doesn't have the numbers to dispose of the few soldiers he has left, but Karkaroff's been marked. Perhaps you can find and recruit him? If he believes Dumbledore and the Order are his best chance of surviving, I think he can be turned. And he knows much of the dark side."

"The Order was not created as a safe have or asylum for cowardly Death Eaters to use as a means of escape," grunted Sirius.

"Oh, the dripping irony of that statement! Casting aspersions on others given the…domestic nature of your work lately."

Dumbledore slammed an open palm on the table, and his tone was frosty, "Please finish your report."

"The Dark Lord's current plan is to remain in the shadows, alerting the world to his rebirth is something He obviously doesn't want. He's quite pleased Fudge and the ministry are so keen to destroy you, knows Fudge is insecure and only interested in staying in office and notoriety that comes with that.

"Now this part is just conjecture on my part, as I'm not included in every mission, but He seems to be growing more and more obsessed with the Ministry in general. Whether there's someone He desperately wants to recruit, or wants to start imperiusing high ranking officials, I know not, but there seems to be a lot of focus on it. Perhaps Mad-Eye has some intel to share? Anything strange happenings at the Ministry"

Mad-Eye took a sip from his ever-present flask and gave a sardonic smile, "Honestly, every day brings forth some new ridiculousness over there. Potter's full criminal trial was just the start."

A loud scraping of wood on stone announced Dumbledore as he stood up, "I believe I've got a theory. Deep in the heart of the ministry, there is a room, well known to some of you here, a large room that holds thousands of glass orbs…"