You were awoken by a clattering sound early the next morning still curled up in the chair, someone had covered you with a blanket and gave you a pillow that you were clutching close to your chest. You heard it again and you see Gandalf hitting his head on the front room chandelier. "Good morning Gandalf." You say quietly not wanting to wake the rest of the house. You get up and prepare your pack putting away your gray cloak and making sure everything is tied down tightly. "Do you need help with getting ponies ready?"
"Yes but you should wait for the rest of the company to be up. They won't like it if you're out of sight without them knowing."
"I'm not a child Gandalf, I understand that they will be protective of me. But I'm not required to tell them of my actions and whereabouts every time I step outside the door. They will have to deal with it." You say as you put your pack on and head out the door.
You and Gandalf took about an hour preparing the ponies and horses before you heard a very unhappy group of dwarves coming up around the road. As soon as they saw that you were okay you could feel their fear and anger fade away a little. Thorin comes up to you and you can feel his anger before he says anything, "What are you doing?" he demands angrily.
"I'm helping Gandalf prepare the ponies this morning." You say calmly as you continue to groom your horse.
"You should have told us you left, you worried us."
You turn to him, "I am not a child, I do not need to tell you of my every doing. I am more than capable of defending myself and I'm with Gandalf, I am more than safe. Now if you'll excuse me, your majesty." You say slightly annoyed as you turn back to your horse to continue your task. Thorin huffs away and prepares his own pony.
The rest of the company were surprised that you were going to ride a full sized horse bear back with no bite in its mouth. "You aren't going to saddle him Icarus?" Asked Bofur. "He's got no rains either and no bite." You laughed a little and pulled yourself up on your horse with ease. "No he doesn't need them, I have rains for the night when we tie them up. But while riding he knows what he is required to do. And the straps hurt him over long distances. And as for moving and guiding I just use clicking sounds and light heel kicks." You respond. You lightly kick your heel and make a small kissing sound and the horse moves to follow Gandalf's mount. You fall into a light trot next to Nori. You ride in silence for a while listing to the others chatter. They start to place bets of whether or not Bilbo will show up. "You're aren't going to bet any laddie?" questions Nori as he passes his bet up to Balin. "No, I don't like to bet. Bilbo will show up wither he wants to or not." You respond. More silence follows, "You know they're just trying to look out for you. I know this is all new to you, but please know we will never harm you or leave you in danger." Nori explains softly, "They just don't want you to lose on this journey." You think for a moment and you feel sadden, now understanding how rude you were of their feelings. You look down at your hands "Nori…. I think I understand now. I'm sorry." You respond quietly, "I need to talk with Thorin." You tap your heel twice into your mount and he gallops up next to Thorin. "Um… hey Thorin. I need to apologize for a few things." You express nervously, you were not good at these feelings talk. He glances at you expectantly waiting for you to continue. "I'm sorry." You say trying to sound as sensual as possible, "… sorry for snapping back at you like I did. You all are just trying to look out for me, and keep me safe best you can. I've never had anyone looking out for me, like you guys are doing." You had started to bride your horse's hair as you apologized to Thorin. And it now lay I nice neat ropes on his neck. You glanced over and see him smile up at you a little. "Thank you for understanding." Is all he says before he trots a head of you. You breathe a sigh of relief and continue down the path.
"Wait! Wait!" you hear Bilbo yell as he comes running up the path "I signed it. I signed it." He pants as he hands the paperwork up to Balin who checks it over. "Everything seems to be in order! Welcome Master Burglar to the company of Thorin Oakenshield." Balin states proudly. "Get him a pony and let's be on our way." Grumbles Thorin. They lift him up on to the tiny horse and continue. You walk next to him and you to discuss how he was doing. Soon he starts having a sneezing fit, and he fumbles unable to find his handkerchief. Before he can call out to turn around you reach over and hand him one of your clean extra ones, "Don't lose it Bilbo, this maybe that last one you'll be able to find on this path ahead of us."
Mid-day passes and you begin to hum a little tune to yourself as you undo the brides from your horse's mane. "I've never heard that song before, what is it?" Asks Fili as he and his brother come up on either side of your mount. "It's a tune from way back home called The Dancing and The Dreaming." You say calmly, you're a little surprised that they heard you. "It feels like a sad song, isn't it?" Asks Kili. "No no no," You respond, "it is a very lovely song. Not sad at all, but it does remind me of things I'd rather forget. I know lots of songs like that. But I know quite a few happier ones. I'd rather not talk about." You kiss twice and your mount speeds up to walk with Gandalf.
After a long day of riding the company stops for the night. Everyone is relaxed around the fire settling down after a good meal provided by BomBur. You are off a little way from the fire, sitting alone looking out over the cliff side looking at the dark forest under the stars. It's been a while since you've traveled with anyone, let a long a multitude of dwarves and a hobbit. You long to fly over the sleeping forest and glide aimlessly under the stars. To feel the wind in your feathers and the crisp cold against your skin, to breathe deeply the cold air untouched by the earth. It is the last few months of spring, the forest is alive with the tiniest sounds and crawling creatures. You lay down and stare up at the vast darkness as you daydream of flying through the meadows and open plains string up fire flies so they light up the ground as much as the stars light up the sky. You head a deep sad howl from the north east, the wolf and his pack are some ways off. You head Kili and Fili joke about it could be Orcs trying scaring Bilbo. They laugh and Thorin scolds them. He is right Orcs are no laughing matter and should never be joked about. Balin tells the story of The Battle of Azanulbizar, you saw the aftermath of the battle flying over briefly. So many dead, many Orcs and many more dwarves. As Balin tells the story you feel tears falling from your eyes and into your hair as you lay still by the cliff. You can feel how badly it hurt them, the ache and emptiness. Balin tells of Thorin with is Oakenshield branch fighting Azog and how much hope filled his people when he took charge and drove back the Orcs. Thorin's company stands and face their king. All of them as one people feeling the sadness and hope that he brings. After the story everyone is quiet and starts to settle down for the night.
"Come by the fire laddie, it's going to be a cold night." You hear Dwalin call to you. You get up and lay your bed roll in an open spot that isn't covered over head by branches. You notice your Ones all lay near you, for the exception of Thorin who lays nearest the fire's coals. You smile as you stare at the stars above. You hum softly I See The Light as the company drifts off to sleep. "Don't y'e get lost in those stars, you might never come back down." whispers Bofur who lays near to you.
"What if I want to be lost Bofur?" you whisper back, your eyes never leaving the sky. "Being lost isn't always bad. Being lost in the stars, floating in the open space between the endless sky and the soft sleeping earth. Nothing holding you down, nothing to make you sad or frightened. Only yourself and the vast freedom all-around you." You turn to look at him and notice he's been staring at you with awhh. "But you all are down here, so maybe not everything is sad and freighting as I think it to be." You reassure him, "Good night Bofur." You smile at him and you roll over to sleep.