XI
Like a Woman Scorned
With Harry, Ron, and most of the Order of the Phoenix watching, Hermione told her sordid tale. She told them about Lucius Malfoy bringing Remus and herself into the Forbidden Forest four months ago. She told them in the gentlest words possible about how she barely managed to stay alive, only to be bitten by Remus. She told them about Snape finding them in the morning, about speaking to Dumbledore and trying to figure out how she was going to pick up the pieces of this mess.
The conversation was one that she had been anticipating as terrible and painful, but she soon found it to be one of the most liberating and relieving things she'd experienced in a long while. Not only could Hermione get the terrible burden of these secrets off of her shoulders, but she could also allow the others to assure Remus that he wasn't at fault for this. Remus was surprised by the amount of support he was getting, along with the distinct lack of outward blame from anyone.
She continued on with her story, explaining what had happened with Greyback in Hogsmeade and of all of their worries over the months about what Lucius would do next. She then started telling them about Draco, all of her confrontations with him and how far she thought he had come, along with why she had been so angry with him only moments ago.
The only thing Hermione left out was her research on the Wolfsbane and her growing relationship with Remus, knowing that these details would not benefit from being shared at a time like this. In the end she looked around the circle to the shocked, devastated, and sorrowful faces. Her gaze slowed on Harry and Ron. "I'm so sorry I've kept this from you for so long," she murmured, trying to maintain her composure. "I just- I didn't know how-"
Harry interrupted her with a fierce, crushing hug. "I'm sorry this happened," he whispered, his voice full of emotion.
"It's alright," she replied, catching Remus' steady gaze, "I think I'm through the worst of it now."
A shuffling behind Hermione alerted her to Ron's rise from the Hospital bed. He took a step, hesitated, and then turned to face her. "I can't believe this!" he shouted. "Why haven't we caught Malfoy yet? Or Greyback? Or Draco? We need to do something!" He whirled around, looking at Dumbledore with a barely-composed rage. "We just let Malfoy go! He's probably going to report to his father the next best way to try and kill one of us again. First Hermione, n-now Ginny…" Ron's voice broke off. Hermione watched from behind as his shoulders sagged. She stood from the bed, dropping Harry's embrace and approaching Ron.
"It's okay, Ron," she murmured softly, placing a hand on his shoulder. "I know this makes you angry, but Draco wasn't behind this. There's nothing we can do now but keep ourselves safe from his father."
"No!" he yelled, turning around and brushing Hermione's arm from his shoulder, "we have to do something. Ginny could've- she almost died, Hermione! You almost died! You're a werewolf now because of him!"
The comment stung, but what stung more was seeing Remus flinch out of the corner of her eye. Hermione felt her temper flare. Without giving anything else much thought, she pulled her wand from her robes, taking another step towards Ron and opening her mouth to give him a piece of her mind. She was interrupted, however, by someone else's voice.
"Ronald." It was Mr. Weasley. The man stepped away from his weeping wife, a tense expression on his face as he looked between Ron and Hermione. "Yelling won't do us any good. I know this is hard, but I also know that Hermione needs you to be calm about this." He picked up his head and looked over Ron's shoulder at Hermione. Mr. Weasley was giving her a chance to reign in her temper before she did something stupid. She shut her mouth and lowered her wand hand. Mr. Weasley continued, an earnest expression on his face, "We're going to figure this out." These words weren't necessarily directed at Hermione, but she felt that they were meant for her. With them came acceptance and hope. This was something that she appreciated more than she could put into words.
Mrs. Weasley rushed forward suddenly, pulling Hermione into a teary, bone-crushing hug. "Oh, you poor child," she whispered, squeezing Hermione closer and barely restraining her tears. After a few seconds she appeared to remember Remus's part in all of this. "Remus!" she gasped, reaching out for the professor and dragging him into her embrace alongside Hermione. Hermione found herself awkwardly crushed between Remus and Mrs. Weasley, her elbow poking into his side and his feet clunking against hers. She had expected an emotional reaction from Mrs. Weasley, and despite having dreaded this encounter, she knew that it was worth everything. It was only now that Remus could truly understand how he had been as much of a victim as Hermione all along.
The following moments included many hugs and whispers about how strong Hermione was and how if anyone could get through this, it was her. Even Sirius came forward, patting Remus on the back and pulling Hermione into his side for a brief hug. "I told them that you had to be the one to say it in the end," he said, looking at her proudly. "You did a good job."
She smiled up at him. "Thanks, Sirius."
"You knew?" Harry had stepped forward again, looking at Sirius perplexedly, his gaze shifting to Hermione and Remus every few seconds.
Sirius nodded, grinning slyly. "Lets just say I was a little nosy and came upon the information when I shouldn't have."
Harry watched his godfather for a moment before giving a wary nod. He seemed to be irked that Sirius had been privy to the information before him. It didn't worry Hermione; she knew Harry would eventually understand that she didn't intend for Sirius to know, it had just happened that way.
Next Hermione received a pair of rare hugs from Fred and George, who promised to send her plenty of Weasley's Wizard Wheezes products to help her through the bad days. "Oh," Hermione sighed, waving her hand, "you boys don't have to do that."
"But we insist," George smirked, patting her on the head gingerly.
"It wouldn't be fair if we did the same to Remus and not you," Fred continued.
"And they definitely do it to me," Remus grumbled, shooting the twins an irritated glance.
Fred and George just laughed, retreating from Hermione and back to their parents and their still-unconscious sister.
All in all, it was several moments of great emotional upheaval, which left Professor Snape looking more disgruntled than Hermione had ever seen him. She watched him with a bemused expression, just as it seemed that many others turned their attention to him.
Snape looked to Dumbledore. "I think it would be prudent if I spoke to Mr. Malfoy sooner rather than later."
"I agree, Severus," Dumbledore nodded, "you may go."
Snape left, breezing past the group and past Hermione. When he passed she thought she saw him give her the slightest nod, but she figured that it must have simply been her imagination, because a moment later he was staring straight ahead and briskly exiting the Hospital Wing.
"In fact," Dumbledore spoke again, "I think it has been a long day for all of us. Perhaps we should all take the night and rest." He looked around the tired group before clapping his hands together and smiling, "very well. Poppy?"
Madam Pomfrey came bursting back into the curtained area, nodding to Dumbledore and checking up on Ginny. "Miss Weasley won't wake up until sometime tomorrow. Blood loss like this is very exhausting. None of you will miss anything if you retire for the night."
"Will she have a scar?" Hermione asked, not knowing why she'd so suddenly decided to voice the question.
Pomfrey examined Hermione closely for a moment. "I'm afraid so. The cutting hex did some damage that won't fully mend, not for several months at least."
Hermione let out a breath, frowning. Kingsley, Tonks, and Professor McGonagall soon left. The Hospital Wing was looking more empty and tired than before. Hermione found herself once again situated between Harry and Ron, this time at Ginny's bedside. Ron hadn't spoken since his initial outburst several minutes ago. He simply sat in contemplative silence.
"D'you want to come back to the Common Room with us, Hermione?" Harry inquired, his voice hoarse and tired. Hermione idly wondered if he had cried and screamed when he'd found out about Ginny and that was why his voice was so rough.
She sighed, thinking over his question and then shaking her head. "I think the Common Room might be a little loud for me right now. It is still the day after the full moon, after all."
Harry was quiet for a moment. At last, he spoke up. "You must have been so scared."
She chuckled dryly in an attempt to mask some sort of deeper emotion, "yeah. It was scary."
"I'm sorry you had to go through this," Harry murmured.
She could feel him looking at Ron, the two young men having a silent argument. "I'm sorry too Hermione," Ron piped up, "and I'm sorry I got so angry about it."
She looked at Ron, smiling genuinely despite the fact that she knew Harry had pushed him into that apology. "It's alright, Ron," she breathed, "you had a right to be angry after what's happened to your sister." Her eyes fell on Ginny's sleeping form again. She ruminated on the night's events for a long time. "I wish I could have been there with Ginny," she whispered, loud enough so only the boys could hear her, "then he would have attacked me instead. Maybe we could have fought him off together."
"Don't blame yourself Hermione," Harry spoke up, "if we've learned one thing over these past few months it's that guilt doesn't really help at all, right?"
She smiled despite herself, thinking of Remus. "You're only too right, Harry."
The boys decided to go back to the Common Room not long after this, knowing that Ginny would be there in the morning and riding on Dumbledore's apparent promise that they could miss all their classes tomorrow and spend the day in the Hospital Wing with Ginny if they so pleased.
Hermione sat by Ginny's bed for a few minutes after this, realizing that this was the first time she'd been alone with her thoughts since she found out about the attack hours ago. She thought a lot about how things would have gone differently had she accompanied Ginny to the Quidditch Pitch like they'd planned. Maybe Ginny wouldn't have been hurt at all in that situation. Maybe Malfoy would have killed both of them on the spot. There was no way she could know what would have happened, but one thing she did know was that she felt awful about it. Hermione would live with at least some modicum of guilt over this for the rest of her life.
She drew out of her deep thoughts, hearing footsteps behind her and knowing that they belonged to Remus. As he drew closer Hermione shut her eyes and took a deep breath, embracing the wave of cool calmness rising over her. Without looking behind her she could use her enhanced senses to tell that Dumbledore, Mr. Weasley, Mrs. Weasley, and Sirius were still present, not far away from Ginny's sleeping form.
Remus took the seat Harry had vacated, languidly bending down and wincing at the soreness of his muscles. Hermione turned to look at him, her expression despondent.
"How are you feeling?" he asked.
"I'm sore," she sighed, still fixing him with a sidelong glance, "but it's not as bad as it was this morning."
"That's good, but I meant how are you feeling about everything that's just happened." His lips quirked up in something of a fond smile. It made Hermione's heart flutter.
"Oh," she breathed, leaning back and examining her ink-spotted fingers. "I'm glad I got to tell them the truth, but it's also going to change a lot of things from now on. I'm sure you know that better than I do."
He nodded absently, "Yes."
They sat in silence for a few odd seconds before Remus spoke again, looking over his shoulder where Dumbledore and the others stood and then back at Hermione. "Do you want to come to my rooms?"
She could feel him wince at the awkwardness of it. "I mean-" he stammered in an attempt at recovery, "I just thought that it seemed like you didn't want to go back to your dormitory and it's been too long since we've actually talked and we can have tea and-"
"I'd like to," she interjected, looking at him and smiling at his sudden bashfulness.
He nodded, "ah- okay. Good."
The pair left the Hospital Wing not long after. Dumbledore and Sirius both noticed their exit, but neither seemed to care all that much. Hermione was glad that Dumbledore hadn't objected. It was inappropriate for a professional student-teacher relationship like theirs, but it appeared that Dumbledore didn't think rules of propriety applied to such a situation as this.
Remus' rooms hadn't changed at all since she'd last been there. He lit a fire in the fireplace immediately upon their entrance, starting a batch of tea a moment later. Hermione sat on the couch right where she used to sit, staring into the fireplace. It felt like everything had been moving so fast today and there hadn't been time to rest or think much, but now things were slowing down. She felt skittish and fatigued.
Remus brought her tea and she sipped it slowly. The warm liquid was somewhat calming as she swallowed it, but her hand still shook when she held the teacup and her knee still bounced up and down anxiously. Instead of sitting in his usual armchair across from her, he sat beside Hermione on the couch, his long legs bumping up against hers clumsily before he shifted away. She almost smiled.
"You look exhausted," he said softly, watching her while she stared off into the fire, "you should really try to get some sleep."
"I don't think I can right now," she murmured, her voice hoarse and broken.
He reached for her free hand that sat limply at her side, grasping it in both of his and rubbing his thumb over the skin on the palm of her hand. It felt right, and that thought just made Hermione even sadder. She set down her tea, knowing she would spill it if she didn't. His hands were still holding hers, and she felt a heavy weight in her stomach because she knew this was wrong and it wouldn't last but she wanted to stay here forever.
She inhaled, her breath hitching as a sob attempted to escape. Remus immediately removed one of his hands from hers and put his arm around her shoulders, pulling her into his side. She allowed a few tears to fall as her head rested against his shoulder, but nothing more. There would be time to cry later, not in front of Remus.
His hand moved up and down along her arm, only a few inches away from the scar that stretched over her shoulder and back. It was the scar that he'd given her. He hadn't seen her scars since that first night – or rather the morning after – in the Forbidden Forest. She wondered if he would feel better or worse to see how they'd healed.
Her body was shaking with the urge to cry, and that just made him pull her tighter against him. She wanted to live in this moment for a long time, but she simultaneously wanted to get as far away from it as possible, hating that he could see any evidence of her weakness.
It was a long time before she was able to speak. She dried her eyes with the sleeve of her jumper and took a deep, shuddering breath. "I don't want to go back to my dormitory tonight."
He didn't speak for a moment. She stared into the fire. Finally, his soft works pulled her out of her reverie. "You can stay here," he mumbled.
She was thoroughly surprised. "Are you sure?"
He nodded without missing a beat. "It's not like it hasn't happened before. While I definitely shouldn't be allowing this, I think these are special circumstances."
With a flick of his wand hand, he'd summoned a blanket onto his lap. Picking it up, he began to drape it over her form. Next he stood from the couch, dropping all contact with her. Hermione reached for his arm. "Stay here," she pleaded, grasping his wrist lightly, "with me."
He shook his head. "I don't think that's a very good idea, Hermione." He looked over to the armchair, obviously aiming to settle there.
"You said it yourself: these are special circumstances." She sat up further on the couch, "it's so much easier when you're close, and I know you feel it too."
He looked like he wanted to protest, probably to say that he would sit in the armchair and that was close enough. He knew what she meant, of course; it was easier when they were physically touching.
Surprisingly enough, Remus didn't say anything else. He simply watched her for a long time. She could see his resolve crumbling. Eventually, his shoulders slumped and he sat back down on the couch beside her.
As Hermione settled into his side, his arm once again wrapping around her shoulders, she felt the steady stream of comfort roll back in. A part of her felt bad of coercing him into doing this, but she knew this would provide a better night's sleep for both of them. His eventual relaxation against her told her that he felt the same way.
She drifted off to sleep slowly, and Remus did the same.
Author's Note: The whole scene in the Hospital Wing was initially going to be a lot different, but it ended up like it is now and it feels right to me. I hope it felt right to all of you. Just remember that we're working towards Remus not hating himself for what he's done to Hermione. It's a long process, but we're slowly moving along.