XII
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Hermione woke up sprawled across a strange couch the next morning, realizing not long after that it was Remus' couch and Remus was absent from it. She realized why he was gone when she cast a Tempus and saw that it was eleven o'clock in the morning.
I must have been more exhausted than I thought.
She was honestly surprised that he'd left her in his quarters all alone. She understood that he probably had to get to breakfast and teach his classes today, but she never expected him to allow her to remain sleeping on his couch in his private rooms. If someone found her they would both be answering quite a few awkward questions.
With this in mind, Hermione decided that she might as well get out of here before anything bad happened. She got off the couch and neatly folded up the blanket that he'd summoned for her. As she straightened herself up and headed toward the door, something caught her eye.
Atop one of the shelves on his bookshelf were three framed photos. She narrowed her eyes, stepping closer and wondering why she'd never noticed them before. One was an old looking photo of a young couple, standing next to each other in front of a modest little house. The man had one arm around the woman's waist and the other showing off a key, which appeared to belong to the house. Hermione smiled at the sheer happiness of the couple. She knew that it was Remus' parents mostly because the woman had the same nose and mouth as him and the man had Remus' hair. She wondered idly why it was a non-magical photo. Were they Muggles? She felt like she would have heard something about it by now if Remus were a Muggle-born. Perhaps only one of his parents was a Muggle, then?
Hermione was suddenly realizing that there was a lot more she wished to know about Remus. She couldn't recall a time when he'd ever been very open with her about his life or his childhood in particular, except for the time when she'd asked him about getting bitten by Greyback. Perhaps she'd have to ask him more…
The next photo was one that Hermione knew very well. Remus had made a copy of it a few years ago and given it to Harry. It was a photo of Remus, Sirius, James, and Pettigrew when they were all children. They looked to be in their fifth year or so at Hogwarts. They were sitting together in the Gryffindor Common Room. Remus and Pettigrew seemed to have just been in the middle of a game of Wizard's Chess which Sirius and James had interrupted with the photo. Broad, lighthearted grins covered their young, innocent faces. It was eerie to compare the boys in this photo to the men she knew now. Both Sirius and Remus were extremely different from these young men, grinning and shoving each other around and looking like they had the world laid out before them. She recalled Sirius saying once that this had been one of the few pictures anyone had bothered to take of them during their Hogwarts years. Hermione knew Harry cherished it because of that, even though it did include Peter Pettigrew. Somehow, though, Pettigrew didn't seem all that evil and terrible in this picture, before he'd ever become a Death Eater. Hermione knew that Remus felt the same way and that he must have been a little closer to Peter than the other boys.
The last photo appeared to be many years later, in the Headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. It looked similar to another one Harry had received, but there were several major differences. For one, none of them knew that the picture was being taken. This one contained Harry's parents, Remus, Sirius, and a strange girl Hermione didn't know whom Sirius had his arm around. They were all sitting at a large table much like the one in the basement of Number 12, Grimmauld Place, focused on the person talking or holding their attention. The photo was being taken from the other side of the table, and Hermione wondered for a moment who had taken it. All in all, though, it was a pretty average photo. Hermione liked seeing it because Harry had never wanted to spend that much time sharing the photos of his parents with her, but now she got the chance to really have a close look at them. She also liked it because she got a better insight into how Remus was when he was closer to her age. He was happier and less reserved, without the self-consciousness and weariness that she knew now.
Finally, Hermione decided that she probably ought to leave Remus' rooms and not invade his privacy any more. Taking one last look to make sure everything was in its proper place, Hermione slipped out. Back in her dormitory she changed into fresh clothes and determined that it was time to visit Ginny.
The Hospital Wing was not heavily occupied on this morning, lucky for Hermione. Upon nearing Ginny's bed, Hermione noticed that the girl was already awake, Harry and Ron huddled at her bedside
"Hermione!" Ginny grinned broadly, extending her arms for a hug, which Hermione readily returned.
"I'm so sorry, Ginny," Hermione sputtered out, grasping her friend's shoulders tightly while Harry and Ron watched on, "I'm so sorry that all of this happened to you and I'm sorry that I wasn't there with you and-"
Ginny cut her off, "Hermione, slow down, slow down." She looked to Harry and Ron, sharing some sort of look with them that Hermione couldn't quite decipher. "Look, Harry and Ron told me some of what happened but they said that there's something important you need to explain to me."
Hermione looked over at Harry and Ron. Ron was staring at the ground, not daring to look up at Hermione. Harry nodded in affirmation of what Ginny had just said.
Hermione sighed, facing Ginny. "There's a lot of stuff that I haven't told you, stuff that you ought to have known, stuff that is probably half the reason why you were attacked yesterday."
"Don't look so guilty," Ginny quipped, "you didn't intend for this to happen and the boys assured me that this was in no way your fault."
Hermione nodded weakly, her chest going tight with emotion. Despite telling the story to nearly the whole Order yesterday, this was still wholly terrifying. It was probably the biggest secret she'd ever had, and it felt like it had been so much easier when no one but Remus, Dumbledore, and Snape had known. But this was important. Ginny was the final step in telling everyone close to her about what exactly had been going on over the past few months.
Thus ensued a very long conversation with Ginny, much like the one she had yesterday with the others. Harry and Ron sat there the whole time, listening patiently and nodding solemnly when Ginny looked at them in shocked disbelief. After the story began to wind down, there were a lot of teary hugs and questions on Ginny's part. Ginny wanted to know all about how it had happened in the first place, how Hermione had felt, and why she'd decided to handle it the way she did.
"Are you angry that I didn't tell you?' Hermione asked after she had finished explaining.
Ginny thought about it for a couple seconds, and then shook her head. "I understand why. While I do wish I could have known and tried to help you, it also makes sense why you wouldn't want to tell anybody."
"And it's not like we were giving you a lot of opportunities to tell us," Harry added, a slight hint of shame in his tone.
"It was just a difficult time," Ginny continued, looking between Harry and Hermione, "we can't hold blame for anyone in this sort of situation."
"Thank you, Ginny," Hermione said, suddenly feeling very weepy and affectionate. She hugged her friend tightly, careful not to hurt the redhead's wounds. Apparently Malfoy's cutting hex had hit her pretty badly across her abdomen, and could have been lethal if only aimed a few centimeters higher.
Ginny looked over at Harry next, and it was as if they were having some sort of silent conversation. "We should go," Harry said suddenly, elbowing Ron and sharing a look with Ginny. Hermione furrowed her brow in confusion as Harry kissed Ginny on the forehead and then he and Ron cleared out.
"What was that about?" Hermione began, watching the boys retreat from the Hospital Wing.
"Harry and I have developed a way of communicating with few words," Ginny smiled wryly. "I let him know that he and Ron needed to get out."
"Why?"
"Because," Ginny shifted in the hospital bed, sitting up with a wince, "we need to talk about a few very important things that don't involve the boys."
Hermione nodded. She had expected that this would be coming.
"First," Ginny smiled suspiciously, "is this why you suddenly have a crush on Lupin? Because you've been spending so much time with him?" Her face lit up with a thought, "Merlin, have you seen him naked?"
Hermione hushed Ginny quickly, checking over her shoulder to make sure that no one was nearby. She turned back to her friend. "Where do you get the idea that I've seen him naked?" she whispered, outraged.
"Well you two have been spending the full moons together, right? I mean, there isn't much room for clothing with that whole transformation thing. Bloody hell, he's probably seen you naked too!"
"Shhhh!" Hermione checked over her shoulder again, and this time she made sure to cast a sound muffling charm around the pair of them. Madam Pomfrey had set up privacy wards around Ginny's bed, but that didn't ensure that Madam Pomfrey herself couldn't hear what they were talking about.
"Alright," Hermione breathed, looking at Ginny pointedly, "no, I have not actually seen him naked, and I don't think he's seen me naked either. We like to give each other at least a little privacy."
Ginny narrowed her eyes suspiciously, but finally accepted the response, shaking her head and moving on. "Okay, forget about that part, what about this crush you have on him? Has anything happened?"
Hermione couldn't help the blush that rose up in her cheeks and the way her eyes darted towards the ground.
"Merlin's balls!" Ginny nearly leapt out of the bed with excitement, "What happened? Did he kiss you? Did you kiss him?"
"Calm down, Ginny," Hermione chided mildly. The redhead sat back quickly, eager to hear the story. Hermione took a deep breath. "Well, I don't know how much you know about being a werewolf, but one of the side effects of the full moon is a heightened sex drive, decreased impulse control, and just a lot of general frustration."
Ginny's smirk grew broader. "So basically you were both extremely horny."
"No… well… yes, I guess so, but I don't like to call it that." Hermione sputtered, cringing. "Anyway, I guess I had just been developing this crush on him for a while and then before one of the full moons I just- well, I kissed him."
Ginny squealed. "A Professor, Hermione. Did he kiss back?"
Hermione was cringing again. "Yeah, sort of. But it was only a few seconds and then he realized what was going on and then he was upset about it and it got rather awkward."
"So have you talked about it? Has anything else happened?"
"We talked about it briefly," Hermione said, proceeding to explain their conversation the morning after their full moon. Ginny was pleased with Hermione's bravery and slight flirtation with Remus despite everything that had happened. To be honest, Hermione was quite proud of herself for that as well.
Hermione also explained how they had formed a bit of a routine of spending evenings in his quarters. Ginny was in disbelief at the fact that Hermione had literally been sneaking to her Professor's private rooms for weeks and hadn't tried anything. Hermione then told her friend about what had happened the previous night and the fact that she had slept on the same couch as him and Ginny was even angrier. "It wasn't like that," Hermione offered uselessly, "I was upset and he was probably upset too and if I had tried to kiss him again it would have just ruined everything."
Ginny nodded, "yeah, I suppose you're right. He's always been one to stick to the rules and feel really bad if he does something wrong. So what's the plan now?"
"That's where I'm lost," Hermione admitted, falling back in her chair. "It's hard to be around him and act normally, and I know that he'll push me away again if I try anything. Even I feel wrong wanting to try something- I feel wrong liking him so much."
"Don't," Ginny said shortly, "the way I see it, it's perfectly understandable for you to form this type of bond with him after everything the two of you have been through together. Besides, graduation is only a little over two weeks away!"
It was true; graduation was looming closer than ever, just like the N.E.W.T.s. Hermione decided then and there that she needed to focus on her studies. She had two weeks in which it was essential that she made sure to be prepared and to also prepare Harry and Ron for their exams. She could worry about Remus after the term was over.
The girls sat in silence for a few more moments. Hermione finally broke it, "are you mad that I didn't tell you earlier?"
Ginny shook her head. "We already established that; how could I be mad at you about something like this? If I'm mad about anything it's that I was the last person to learn about it, but that's my own fault for being unconscious."
Hermione chuckled despite herself. "It's not your fault for being unconscious. You know that it really probably is mine. I should have been there with you. Malfoy was looking for me, after all."
"Hermione," Ginny stopped her sharply, "don't go around blaming yourself. You know as well as anybody how useless blame is when you're not really the one at fault.
"You know," Hermione mused, studying the knitting of her jumper, "it's funny how much guilt I've had to deal with lately, both on my part and from other people. It's such a terrible emotion. I really hate it." Reality was setting back in, and Hermione felt a weight drift back down onto her shoulders. She craved Remus' soothing presence, half-formed memories of sleeping against him the previous night playing through her mind.
"Don't worry," Ginny murmured, sensing Hermione's change in mood, "we'll sort all of this out in the end. It'll be okay."
In the following days Hermione threw herself into studying for N.E.W.T.s, dragging Harry and Ron into her intense revising routine as well. The trio spent nearly every day after classes in the library. Hermione's research into the Wolfsbane and her time in Snape's lab was nearly forgotten entirely.
Despite being immensely stressed about the upcoming exams, Hermione was glad that things were happening the way they were. She couldn't say how happy she was to be back to her normal closeness with Harry and Ron. Ginny, also, was someone Hermione was thankful to have close again. Ginny allowed Hermione to talk more freely about Remus or the intricacies of the Lycanthropy than she ever could with the boys.
Another unquestionable perk was the fact that she no longer had to hide the changes that her lycanthropy caused. She was able to tell them when she was feeling tired or share with them how the full moon cycle was having an effect. It was all together much easier, making her question why she hadn't divulged her secret weeks ago.
The days leading up to N.E.W.T.s and the ending of the school year passed with several interesting changes around Hogwarts. In the days after the incident with Ginny many rumors had been started, some outrageous and some surprisingly close to the truth.
Students had seen Hermione's harried assault on Draco in the Great Hall and her nearly dragging him out into the corridor. Students had also noticed that Dumbledore, McGonagall, Remus, and Snape were all missing from dinner that same night, engaged in the impromptu Order meeting in the Hospital Wing. To add onto that, someone spotted Ginny in the hospital wing the following day.
These hints resulted in some truly outrageous rumors. One of the most surprising that Hermione heard whispers of was a bunch of Gryffindor sixth years who were convinced that Ginny had been cheating on Harry with Draco Malfoy and he'd been abusive and landed her in the Hospital Wing. Hermione made sure to dispel this rumor as soon as she heard it. Another rumor was rather close to the mark, students knowing of Draco Malfoy's suspected allegiances to the inner circle of Death Eaters and his long-standing rivalry with Harry Potter and his friends. Hermione tried her best to ignore these stories. She considered herself especially lucky that Evan, the Head Boy, was very respecting of her privacy and, despite being as curious as anyone, he didn't question her.
The rumors did persist about what had happened, though, and Draco Malfoy was suddenly the subject of a lot of speculation. It was about that time when he decided to become a complete recluse. Hermione didn't see him for meals for several days in a row, and never saw him in the corridors at all. Even during the classes that they had together, he would always slip in as late as possible and sit in the back of the room silently. It was almost as if he didn't exist.
That was until about a five days after the original incident, when he decided to come out of the shadows and approach Hermione.
She had been in the library alone, expecting Harry, Ron, and Ginny to be there soon for some N.E.W.T. prep. Ginny had taken a liking to accompanying them to the library since being released from the Hospital Wing because she wanted to spend time with Harry.
Hermione was studiously working at her usual table, scrawling away at the Ancient Runes essay when suddenly a pair of unfamiliar footsteps caught her attention.
She looked up to find Draco Malfoy approaching, his Slytherin Robes neatly arranged over his thin form and his hair combed impeccably. He was back to his usual standards despite the reclusiveness. Hermione eyed him warily as he approached, arriving at her table and stopping. "May I have a seat?" he asked, his voice just the picture of propriety and Pureblood manners.
Hermione nodded, watching as he sat down. Under the table she flicked her wand, putting up a subtle muffling and obscuring charm. Anyone who wasn't looking for them wouldn't notice them at all. It wouldn't do for the pair of them to be seen together in the library talking; that would only serve to create more rumors.
"You seem to be getting back to your old self," she observed, knowing that it was only half-true. He looked like his old self and he acted like his old self now, but other than that he'd been nothing more than a ghost.
"I may not leave my dormitory much as of these last few days, but when I do I must to keep up appearances." He spoke with the air of a Malfoy, almost nauseatingly like his father. For a moment Hermione thought it was real.
"Cut it out, Malfoy," she said suddenly, "I put up privacy wards. Why are you here?"
He looked around them, inspecting the foggy veil around their table that signified Hermione's spellwork. After seeing it, his posture drooped and his firm, arrogant expression faded away. He suddenly looked tired and human again. "I came to apologize," he said, his voice raw with the undertones of emotion, "I think it's about time that I do that, and Professor Snape feels the same way."
She narrowed her eyes, but didn't speak.
He spoke as if this was a meticulously planned speech, thought over and practiced to himself dozens of times. "Over these past few months I've come to realize that there have been a lot of things wrong with my life and the way I live. I was brainwashed from the beginning of my life. People like my father pushed these terrible ideas on me, just as I'm sure my father's father pushed these ideas on him. It's a cycle, I suppose, and I want to break it. I know that I've done some awful things to you and your friends, and I probably don't deserve forgiveness, so I'm not asking for it. I just wanted to apologize."
Hermione wondered if Snape had helped him put this little speech together. She eyed him for a long moment before nodding. "Thank-you, Draco."
He was taken aback. "Oh- um- you're welcome."
"I'm sorry as well," she said, meeting his gaze, "I shouldn't have been so rough with you, especially in front of everyone in the Great Hall."
He shook his head, "It's fine. If you suspected I was behind something like that- well, I understand why you acted the way you did."
Hermione smiled. This was going much better than anything she'd ever expected. Snape must have really put Draco in his place to get him to do this. She wanted to tell Draco how proud of him she was, but figured that was pushing it a little. She didn't know Draco very well, but she did know that he did not appreciate condescension at all.
He shifted awkwardly, rubbing the back of his neck and stumbling over his words, "um, do you- do you know where I could find Weasley? Ginny, that is."
Hermione arched a brow at him.
"I just- I wanted to apologize to her as well, for my father and for everything, really."
Trying to restrain her triumphant grin, Hermione thought for a moment, looking towards the entrance to the Library. Sure enough, she spotted the slightly obscured forms of Harry, Ron, and Ginny entering the room. "If you want to apologize I think you'll have your chance right now," she said, smiling and picking up her wand hand to temporarily take down the wards so the others could find them. Draco followed her gaze and paled at the sight of all three of them. He definitely hadn't intended to face Harry and Ron in this as well, but Hermione hoped that he would take it all in stride.
"Hermione," Ginny smiled, spotting Draco and looking more than suspicious, "is everything alright?"
"Yes," Hermione replied politely, motioning to the empty seats at the table for the three of them to take. "Draco and I were just talking. I think he actually has something he'd like you to hear." She looked at Draco, giving him a covert nod.
Draco shifted from foot to foot, looking at Harry and Ron before zeroing in on Ginny. "I'd like to apologize," he began briskly, and Hermione could tell that it was a struggle to keep his voice as void of emotion as it was, "because of my father and also because of myself." He proceeded to give roughly the same speech that he'd given Hermione, with a few minor variations.
After Draco stopped Harry, Ron, and Ginny all stared at him in something akin to stunned silence. He looked to Hermione now, unsure of quite what to do next. Hermione was once again surprised by how much his attitude had changed that he was now seeking out her assistance where as before he'd never even wanted to consider asking her for help in anything. She really wondered what Snape had said to him. It had to be something big if it was going to allow him to swallow his pride and break down his arrogance. Hermione nodded to him, offering a half-smile to let him know that it was okay now, he could leave.
Draco turned around and made his way away from the table, exiting Hermione's wards in a way that caused a ripple in the hazy veil around their table. Once he was gone all eyes turned to Hermione.
"So are you going to explain what that was about?" Ron asked once he was fed up with the silence.
Hermione didn't try to restrain her smug smirk, "I told you that I thought I'd gotten through to him, didn't I?"
"What are you talking about?" Ginny spoke up, glancing at where Draco had just been in disbelief, "I swear that was one of the strangest things I've ever experienced…"
Hermione, realizing that she had neglected to explain Draco's part in all of this, explained everything to Ginny. Both of the boys sat there looking like they had terrible headaches and their whole world had been turned upside down. "Malfoy… apologizing?" Harry whispered in disbelief.
"He apologized because he's learned the error of his ways," Hermione said, crossing her arms, "and I think that if you all don't want my work with him to go to waste you should try to be at least a little nicer to him in the future."
"So he's your latest project," Ron said, leaning back in his chair and eyeing her. "I was wondering what replaced Spew."
"S.P.E.W., Ronald," Hermione corrected.
"Okay, okay," Ron waved her off, "just- how do you know that this isn't all an act and he's only trying to manipulate us to trust him?"
"I don't know for sure, of course," she admitted, "but I have a really good feeling about it, Ron, and it's not like we're putting ourselves in danger simply by letting him apologize to us."
"I don't know," Harry murmured, "what if he just wants us to let our guard down?"
"Don't be ridiculous, we're not letting our guard down," Hermione snapped. "We're just being… nicer. But enough of that, we need to get down to business and start revising. You boys are far behind on your Transfiguration review."
With a few grumbled complaints, the boys pushed Draco Malfoy out of their minds and got down to studying. Hermione knew that it would be a topic of conversation later, and she would have to come up with more definitive proof of Draco's true allegiances, both for the boys and for herself.
Author's Note: I'm pretty sure some of my immense love of Ginny Weasley showed through in the writing of this chapter. That scene between Hermione and Ginny has been a long time coming, and it was always going to be an important one. Sorry that there's no Remus/Hermione interaction in this chapter, but I think you'll be pleased to know that there's plenty of interaction in the next chapter… interaction that involves the two of them in a rather compromising position…