Notes:

Chapter Title: Wasurenai Tame ni (忘れない為に lit. So That I Don't Forget) - Yanagi Nagi

"I'm not an articulate person. I've never been one and chances are I never will be. Why spend the effort on coming up with carefully phrased sentences when you can just say what you mean?

That's why this is so damn hard. How can I tell Eli that she should stop wasting the time that she still has left when all I really want to say to her is that I know saying goodbye is the hardest thing we can do?" —Nishikino Maki

Fujiwara flicked through his datapad as he paced in front of her desk, reading through it one more time before he turned to her. "If we're going to implement the cure before President Tenjoin has a chance to act on his plans, then it needs to be soon."

Nozomi watched him, reading the intense seriousness in his dark gaze and knew that he meant what he said. When she paused, he picked up on her hesitation almost immediately. "You can't seriously be thinking of waiting," he said to her impatiently, as though he was addressing a petulant child. "From the information that the researchers have provided, the lower the temperature is when it's used, the less effective it will be. Do you want to think about it until that becomes the case?"

She took a breath, knowing that trying to explain things to her advisor would only turn out to be an inevitable waste of time. "No, of course not," she replied. "But surely you're aware that planning the logistics of all of this will take time? Even if we were to hold a security debriefing tomorrow, we still haven't heard back from the research lab regarding the most optimal location to release this cure."

Her advisor scowled, jotting down a note quickly on his datapad. "You should've gotten your secretary to follow up on that," he muttered. "It shouldn't take them this long to come up with an answer."

"I'll make sure to remind her," Nozomi told him blithely.

Shaking his head once, Fujiwara turned to make his way to the door, pausing when he was only a few steps away from it. "By the way…"

She arched an eyebow delicately at him. "Yes?"

"You should be careful about who you spend your time with." There was a barely-veiled warning in his voice. "I've heard… ah, some rumours about who you've been seen with."

Ah, yes. I wondered when this would come up. After all, I didn't deem it something that was necessary for him to know, especially since I know without a doubt as to what his reaction will be and what he's going to say. Eli doesn't need any of that—least of all now.

A small smile curled at the corners of her mouth as Nozomi watched him turn his head back slightly to gauge her reaction. "I don't see how my personal relationships have anything to do with you, Fujiwara-san," she informed him lightly.

She watched him furrow his eyebrows at her, the expression in his brown gaze darkening. "So… you're not even going to deny it?"

"Is there a reason for me to?" she inquired serenely.

He turned to face her squarely then, datapad clutched angrily in one hand. "Aren't you even the least bit concerned about how this will look?" He took a breath, clearly itching to say more before he closed his mouth, evidently having decided that it was more prudent to wait for her answer to his question first.

"No, not particularly," Nozomi replied.

"I've looked into her," he growled at her, not even bothering to hide the fact that he'd done so. "Even if you take away the fact that she's just an ordinary citizen with no significant background, have you considered what she does for a living? Is that kind of person really someone you want to associate yourself with?"

The smile on her lips widened slightly. "And in the future, she'll be working for me. You'll have to forgive me if I fail to see the problem here."

Nozomi watched him inhale slowly, holding in the breath for a few heartbeats before Fujiwara ground out his next words. "You may think it's all fun and games now, but tell me, what will happen when she accidentally says something she's not supposed to, when you inevitably bring her to meet other politicians of your social standing?"

She pretended to think about it. "You know, Fujiwara-san, I'm quite sure that we're both acquainted with a fair number people who certainly know better, but have done just that. If it's that you're concerned about, then I assure you it won't be an issue. Was there something else?" she asked sweetly, knowing her tone would irritate him far more than her question.

He shot her a dissatisfied look as he reached for the doorknob. "Well, then I can only hope you know what you're getting yourself into. Try not to let your personal relationships ruin your reputation too much, will you?"

He slammed the door shut behind him.

Nozomi listened for his fading footsteps before she picked up the phone on her desk. Now with him dealt with for the moment, I have a meeting of actual importance to be at.

Koizumi picked up on the first ring. "Your car is ready for you, T-Toujou-sama," she reported from the other end of the line.

"Good," Nozomi told her. "I'll be there in five minutes."

Stopping only to take a long coat from one of her attendants, she stepped into the waiting vehicle with two of her usual security guards at the front of the district building less than ten minutes later. The ride to the university campus was completely silent, but that suited her just fine. Silence was just another facet of her life that she'd gotten used to over the years, though that fact was due for a change—sooner, rather than later, but now was not the time to pursue that particular agenda.

She spotted long, untied blonde hair half hidden underneath the hood of a jacket at the campus gates before the car had completely stopped. Eli had her hands in her pockets and was staring at the cement pavement, but she looked up as Nozomi got out of the vehicle.

"Hey," she said in a low voice.

Eli's expression was carefully controlled, but it wasn't hard to discern the pain that still lurked behind her cerulean gaze and in the shadows that underlined her eyes.

As concerned as she was, she knew that now was not the time that Eli would've wanted her to address it, so Nozomi let it be, instead taking her hand as a form of greeting. "Thank you for waiting for me out here," she told her.

The ghost of a smile played at the edges of Eli's mouth for perhaps a fraction of a second before it was gone. "You're welcome," she replied quietly after a moment or two, before turning back towards the gates to the campus entrance. "We should get going."

Nozomi let her lead the way, not completely content with the silence between them but acutely aware of the fact that right now, it was not something she could change. It wasn't long before Eli stopped in front of an inconspicuous door on the basement level of one of the university's many buildings, typing in a password into the keypad beside the door with one practiced hand.

She had never actually been to the underground laboratory that she knew Nishikino Maki owned, but she had picked it as a location for their meeting for several reasons, none of which she was willing to say out loud in front of her advisors. Following Eli through the unlocked door, she was immediately greeted by the sight of the redheaded physician sitting at a table, scribbling something on a worn lab notebook and Sonoda Umi, who was perched on the edge of her chair as though she expected an intruder to burst through the lab doors.

Though if things had been different, she might have been considered one, especially given the less-than-friendly look Nishikino shot in her direction the moment the door closed on her security guards behind them. It was more than obvious that she—still—did not approve of her relationship with Eli and Nozomi was acutely aware of the fact that it would take a lot more than what she had already done for Eli's friends to accept her.

Strangely enough… I think I can accept that. If truth was told, there was a part of her that envied the relationship Eli had with her friends. They consider each other family. Even in a world like the one we live in, they trust each other unconditionally. It's funny—I was the one who grew up in a life where anything I wanted, I had. But the one thing that life couldn't give me was the support of people who wanted the best for me, not because of the role I was born into, but because of who I was.

The irony of it was staggering, and on any other day, she might've allowed herself to muse upon the topic for a few more minutes, but Nozomi did not have that luxury today. "Good afternoon," she said, her voice light but careful.

Sonoda stood up—out of habit, she presumed—and offered her a seat on an unoccupied chair.

It was probably possible to cut through the tension in the room at the moment with a knife. Nozomi didn't think any of them had forgotten the last time the four of them had been in close proximity with each other, and the situation had only been compounded by things none of them had wanted to happen since then.

Nishikino set down her notebook, capping her pen and sticking it back in her pocket. "I still don't know why we couldn't have had this discussion at the district building," she grumbled, half under her breath.

A smile twitched at the corner of her lips. "If it's your intention to entertain politicians for half the afternoon and potentially attract unwanted attention while we're there, Nishikino-san, it still is an option," Nozomi informed her.

A scowl crossed the redhead's face as she turned on a computer behind her. "Yeah, yeah…" she muttered. She swivelled her head around as though she had just spotted Eli standing behind them. "Eli, either sit down or make yourself useful and go make some coffee." Her voice was curt, but it was easy for Nozomi to discern that the evident frustration in her tone was not directed at her friend, but at her own inability to express her own feelings.

It was a testament to exactly how well Eli was coping when she wordlessly made her way to the other side of the room and Nozomi realized that she did not own the only pair of concerned eyes in the room as Sonoda followed Eli's movements with a troubled amber gaze, biting down on her bottom lip while Nishikino played with the frayed edge of her lab coat sleeve, picking at the threads.

"Maki, was that really necessary?" the blue-haired bounty hunter asked in a quiet voice that was too low to carry across the room.

Nishikino shrugged, letting out a weary sigh that belied her actions. "What do you want me to do, Umi? You know perfectly well that the more we treat her like she's some fragile little princess, the less she'll be willing to actually talk about it. Until then, the less we act like we feel sorry for her, the less she'll resent us when she's actually ready to talk."

She shot a disgruntled glance in Nozomi's direction, the look both accusing and resigned.

Nozomi took her gaze off of the back of Eli's shoulders and met the redhead's scrutinizing glare, realizing that she held tangible weight in this conversation even though she had little right to participate in it at all. After a few moments, Nishikino looked away, dragging the fingers of one hand through her unruly red hair.

"Well, whatever," she said dismissively. "We have plenty of time to talk about that later. We've got more important things to discuss at the moment."

Hesitating, Nozomi laced her fingers together on the tabletop. While it was obvious from the tone in Nishikino's voice that she was not dismissing the problem at hand, but rather putting it aside because she didn't know how to deal with it at the moment, it still felt wrong to leave it wholly unaddressed.

But it's clear to me that she doesn't want me involved. No matter how well I may or may not know Eli, I know that she doesn't believe that I know her at all. Although it was a fair assessment, especially given their circumstances, the rationalization couldn't completely banish her misgivings. "You wanted to speak to me?" she asked, keeping her voice neutral.

Nishikino scowled. "Yeah. That secretary of yours called me yesterday to confirm my results. I figured it would've more appropriate if I told you about them in person instead of leaving it up to other, less trustworthy people." Her grimace deepened at the end of her words—it was clear the thought was associated with a recent, unpleasant memory.

"So what do you have?"

The redhead pulled her laptop towards her, turning the screen so that she could see it. "Like I told one of your people last time, the lower the temperature is, the less effective this stuff will be." She let out a frustrated growl. "We're still working on trying to come up with an alternative, but that's not going as well as I would've hoped. It doesn't help that there are politicians calling my office every single day to ask me something."

Nozomi looked at her hands. There's nothing I can do about that, and she knows it. "Go on," she said.

Behind her, she heard Eli return. She watched her as she silently offered Nishikino her cup of coffee. Eli did not look at her—or at anyone else—as she found herself another chair to sit down in. Whether it was intentional or not, Nozomi couldn't tell.

"Anyways, what your secretary wanted to know was if I'd looked into where the best place would be to use this. To maximize efficiency, I guess." She shrugged, before pointing to a spot on the screen. "So I ran some simulations last night. I think it's here."

Nozomi followed the tip of her finger. "Mt. Fuji?" she asked. "Are you sure?"

"Of course I'm sure," the redhead snapped. "I even looked into the site. Obviously it's the tallest natural landmark in Japan, but there are still bunkers and several environmental control plants up there from eight years ago that should be still functional enough. If not, I'm sure they can be made to be."

Frowning slightly, Nozomi rested her chin on the back of one hand as she thought about the option. "It's an interesting proposition," she said finally. "One I hadn't considered. However, we may not currently have the resources to make it happen."

Nishikino shrugged again. "That's not my problem. I've told you what I think. You and your politicians can take it or leave it."

"Of course, I intend to discuss this with them," Nozomi told her, "though I'll need you to send my secretary a copy of your analysis before I can arrange a meeting."

"Fine," Nishikino said. "But there's one more thing."

When Nozomi raised an eyebrow at her, she took a breath before continuing. "Whenever and wherever you decide to use this, I want to be there. I need to be there."

"I beg your pardon?"

She wasn't the only one staring at the redhead. Sonoda had visibly stiffened in her chair, amber eyes wide and Eli had finally looked up from staring at the tabletop in front of them.

"You heard me," Nishikino insisted. All traces of derision and sarcasm had vanished from her voice, leaving behind only calculated resolve. "I dedicated my career to this because of who my father was. I was the one who came up with this. Sure, there have been mistakes and screw-ups along the way, and I take full responsibility for that. But I'm not about to bow out at the very end and trust someone else to see it through for me. That's already happened once, and I think we all know how that turned out. I need to be there to make sure that this time, nothing goes wrong."

Silence met the end of her speech, and a few minutes passed before anyone spoke. "If you are serious about going, then so am I," Sonoda said slowly.

For the first time since she'd known the erratic young physician, Nozomi saw one side of her mouth twitch into a wry smile. "I thought you'd say that." Nishikino turned her attention back to her. "Well? What do you think?"

Nozomi met her gaze, wanting to be honest with her despite the fact that she had seen Eli tighten her slender fingers into a ball in her lap. "I did plan on opening this particular operation to the public, so, Sonoda-san, if you would like to go, then I have no complaint. I think you've proved that you are more than capable of doing so. However," she pressed on, interrupting Nishikino when she opened her mouth, "civilians are usually not permitted on operations of this nature. If you are serious about joining it, then I will have to speak on your behalf. I can't guarantee anything, but I will see what I can do."

Nishikino held her gaze. "Please," she said simply.

It was perhaps the closest to contrite she had ever heard the redhead sound. Despite the fact that the closest the two of them had come to agreement had been nothing more than disgruntled acknowledgement of the other's needs, Nozomi felt her respect for the hot-headed young woman rise ever so slightly. She's willing to bury her pride and what happened in the past to make her goals a reality. I can respect that.

The sound of a chair scraping against the cement floor grabbed her attention; Eli had stood up, her hands tight and trembling ever so slightly at her sides. "I'm going for a walk," she announced, turning and leaving the room before anyone could protest.

Sonoda and Nishikino stared after the door that had closed behind her for a few heartbeats before the blue-haired bounty hunter sighed. "I… we should have known that she wasn't ready for this conversation."

Nishikino said nothing, but shook her head. "It would've been worse if we had it without her."

Nozomi got up, fully intent on following Eli out the door when the redhead spoke up again. "Don't bother," she said. "You won't get anything out of her."

After a moment of hesitation, Nozomi opened her mouth.

"Be as that may," she told her calmly, "it's not right that she should have to deal with all of this on her own. She has yet to come to terms with the fact that in a few short weeks, she's going to lose what she's spent the last four years searching for, and she's just learned that no matter what she says or does, she can't stop the two of you from going on something that could very well get you killed. Tell me, is that something that's healthy for her to have to accept by herself?"

It was completely silent for a minute or two as she let the words sink in. When no one said anything, Nozomi took a few steps towards the door.

A tentative hand touched her shoulder and she turned around, finding the hesitant amber gaze of Sonoda Umi looking back at her. "If you're going to go after her, she usually goes to the park beside the waterfront when she wants to be alone," the blue-haired woman told her.

Her eyes widened slightly at the unexpected information, and Nozomi nodded once in acknowledgment.

Sonoda looked away for a brief heartbeat before she looked up again. "I… misjudged you," she admitted finally. "When I found out about you and Eli, I didn't know if she was making a mistake. I warned her not to, because I was afraid that she would be making a mistake. But… you actually understand her—just as well as either of us do, in fact. I can see why it's easier for her to talk to you instead of us: you are far better equipped to navigate her emotions than either of us are—or ever will be."

Behind her, Nishikino stood too, her amethyst gaze challenging and expectant. "You gave me your confidence earlier when you had no reason to," the redhead stated, looking slightly abashed. "So now, I guess I owe it to you to trust that you can talk her through this." She paused, her embarrassment changing into distaste. "You better not make me regret saying this out loud," she warned.

Nozomi put her hand on the doorknob and turned it, smiling slightly. "You have my word."

Nozomi found Eli exactly where Sonoda Umi had said that she would find her, sitting on a bench in the park near Tokyo's waterfront. She slowed down her footsteps as she drew closer and she gently laid a hand on the blonde's shoulder. Eli had apparently heard her coming—she didn't even start at the contact.

"I should've known you would follow me," she muttered in a low voice.

"Am I that predictable?" Nozomi asked her, making her way around the bench and sitting down on the opposite side.

"No," Eli told her quietly, "it's just something I know you would do."

"Well, right now I'm doing it because I'm worried about you. Your friends are, too."

Eli looked away from her, her head turned toward the churning grey waves of Tokyo Bay. "So they sent you after me?"

"No," Nozomi said gently. "I made that decision on my own."

When Eli did not reply, she went on, making sure she had complete control of her voice before she spoke again. "I can't tell you how to feel," she began. "It wouldn't be fair for me to tell you it's not okay to feel a certain way, because in the end, you are the one who's going to be losing someone you love. But what I am here to remind you of is that you shouldn't have to deal with this by yourself."

Eli looked at her then, holding her gaze for a fraction of a heartbeat before averting her eyes. Nozomi got up to take a step closer to her, but didn't move to touch her. "You let me care about you, and you've let me stand with you, but you've never let me share any of the burden," she said softly.

It was quiet for a few moments, the only source of sound coming from the wind driving the waves against the rocks a few hundred feet away from them. "You've got your own problems," Eli said at last. "Adding mine to them is selfish."

Despite the fact that there was nothing around them to feel happy for, Nozomi smiled. "That's the part about this you've never really understood. Sharing the load is why people form relationships with one another. It doesn't add to my problems or pain to help you with yours. In fact, it's the opposite."

When Eli did not immediately refute her statement, she continued. "You know, I could tell from your friends' reactions that you don't cry in front of them. They don't know how to help you, because you don't tell them what they can do for you."

"Uh huh." Eli acknowledged her words with the simple dismissal.

"Can you tell me how I can help you?" she prompted her gently.

Eli was silent for a long time—so long, in fact, that it crossed Nozomi's mind that she might have made an assumption she shouldn't have. When the blonde suddenly stood up, she looked at her in surprise, half-expecting her to leave again.

Instead, Eli faced her, shoulders hunched against the wind. "Walk with me?" she asked quietly.

It was a request, not a demand. Nozomi nodded and followed.

For the first several hundred metres, no one spoke. Nozomi opened her mouth a few times, but stopped herself. Beside her walked a stoic, recalcitrant young woman, doing her best to find her way through something difficult that she had absolutely no power to change, no matter how much she might've wanted to. She could wait.

"I'm sorry," Eli told her after almost ten minutes of silence. "I didn't mean to worry you—or anyone else—because of this. It's just… I don't know what to do. I don't know—it feels like everyone else has accepted what's going to happen, except for me. Somehow, it feels wrong for me to even be upset over it." She choked out a dry laugh. "I mean, it's basically the solution to everyone's problems that we were all looking for. You won't have to deal with Tenjoin or the rest of your senate anymore, and Maki will have accomplished the one thing that she's dedicated her entire life to. Even my sister's agreed that it's probably for the best." She crossed her arms over her chest, the fingers of her hands digging into the opposite elbow. "Why is it that I'm the only one who can't accept any of this?"

"No one has the right to tell you how to feel," Nozomi murmured. "Or the right to tell you that how you're feeling is selfish. Even if it may seem like the right solution to everyone else, you have the right not to feel that way. Is that what's concerning you?"

Eli shook her head. "I don't know what to do," she repeated in a low voice. "I want someone to tell me how I'm supposed to move past this. I want someone to tell me how I can accept all of this."

Nozomi stopped walking. Reaching out to gently hold onto Eli's wrist, she stopped her from pushing past her. "Is that what you want?" she asked softly. "Or do you just want to be able to accept it because you think it would be more beneficial for everyone else if you did? Be honest with me."

The look in Eli's blue eyes was troubled, a combination of fear and pain. "I don't know," she said again, throat working as she swallowed. "Both… I suppose. When I really thought through what happened, I didn't know how I was supposed to feel. No matter what I wanted, could I really tell Alisa how she was supposed to feel? If she wants what's going to happen, do I really have the right to tell her I don't want it to? At what point would it become more for me than for her?"

Letting the fingers around Eli's wrist slide down until she was holding her hand, Nozomi took a breath to steady her own breathing.

I wish I had the power to change this for you. Truly, I wish I did.

"How you're feeling isn't wrong, you know," she told her gently. "In fact, even like this, you're putting other people's needs above your own. But right now, I want you to think about you. What would need to happen to make this easier for you? I don't mean to just accept," she clarified. "I mean in a way so that you're not afraid of what the future will be."

Eli looked to the side, the sigh that escaped her lips so heavy and distant that she almost winced. "I don't know. Some sort of closure, I guess." She paused, her other hand stiff at her side though she did not fight Nozomi's grip on her fingers; it was a minute or two before she elaborated. "If there was some way for me to know for sure that Alisa is alright with what's going to happen, then… I think I would be okay with that."

Nozomi closed her eyes for a brief heartbeat, confining her own feelings about what Eli had just said to a corner of her chest for the time being. "Okay. How can we make that happen?" she asked.

The pressure on her fingers suddenly increased as Eli looked up at her. "Alisa told me she wanted to see me one more time. I… wasn't sure if I could do it. I didn't know if I wanted to do it. But now, I think… I need to."

Taking the opportunity of their joined hands to pull Eli closer to her, her concerns were assuaged by a small margin when she did not resist. "I think you're right," Nozomi told her softly, slipping her free arm underneath Eli's once she was close enough for her to do so. "But this time, I'm coming with you."

For the first time in weeks, she felt Eli relax, dropping her forehead against her shoulder. "Okay."

Light snowflakes drifted from the grey skies as Eli made her way up the small hillside, Nozomi a few steps behind her. They weren't far from the car that had brought them there, but somehow, the location felt more isolated and lonely than any place Alisa had picked previously.

Brushing stray flakes out from her hair, the two of them stood side by side, waiting. Neither of them said a word. Eli didn't think she had the felicity to, regardless. The fact that Nozomi did not push her to speak eased the ache in her chest that refused to leave no matter what anyone said to her by a little, but not by much. Whether or not it would ever completely go away was something that still remained to be seen.

The sound of soft footsteps on stone drew her attention to the piles of rubble around them. A figure in a dark cloak stepped out from behind a large boulder a few moments later.

Alisa dusted the snow from her head as she approached them. She wasn't directly looking at her, but Eli could tell that there was a small smile lurking at the corners of her features. "I didn't realize you were here already," she said lightly when she finally stopped in front of them.

Eli shook her head. "It's okay. We weren't… waiting long."

Alisa raised an eyebrow slightly at the hoarse quality of her voice, but she didn't comment as she turned to the violet-haired woman beside her. "It's nice to finally meet you in person," she greeted her, dipping her head.

"I've heard a lot about you," Nozomi replied delicately, acknowledging the gesture of respect with a faint smile of her own.

Her sister laughed, the sound soft and musical. "I'm sure you have."

She turned her attention back to Eli, her blue gaze scrutinizing as she looked her over once. "Are you still thinking about what you can do to change all of this?" she asked.

Her sister's ability to see to the heart of her problems had not diminished in any capacity in the four years that they had spent apart and her lack of an immediate reply was all the response Alisa needed.

Alisa strode towards her until they were practically face-to-face; Eli could count the faint freckles smattered across her nose. When she spoke, her voice was gentle, but firm. "Listen to me. You can't change what will happen. No matter how much you want to and how hard you try." She gestured to Nozomi behind them with one arm. "If she can't change the future, what makes you think you can?"

Her sister cut off her protest before the words could even make it out of her mouth. "It's for the better," she said. "Believe me."

Eli closed her eyes for a few seconds against the wall of denial in her chest, and she found herself echoing Nozomi's words to her from a few days previously. "Are you saying that because it's what you really think… or are you saying it because you're trying to make me feel better?"

Her sister smiled again; this time, the expression reached her eyes. When she stared into it, Eli realized that it was genuine.

She didn't know whether or not that knowledge was supposed to hurt as much as it did.

"Neither," Alisa replied simply. "I won't lie to you and tell you that it wasn't a hard pill to swallow. But I think that even if this doesn't happen now, it would've happened eventually. I... I've seen what happens when someone becomes a Ceresis in the outer district. Do you believe me when I say that I don't want that? Not for me, and not for anyone I know."

When she slowly nodded once, unable to find a way to express the needle-thin chill that had slipped through her at the question, Alisa continued, her words growing softer. "That's why I think this is a good thing. It might not be exactly what I wanted, but it's better than anything I could've hoped for." She reached out to touch her arm, holding onto her sleeve with a grip that was much firmer than she would've anticipated. "I've accepted it. So should you."

Shaking her head, finally putting the source of the pain in her chest to words, Eli tried to wrest her arm out of her grip. "It just… seems so unfair that it should have to end like this."

Alisa shook her head, a sad smile tugging at the corner of her lips. She took a breath before she spoke. "You'll be okay," her sister reassured her. "I'm sure that even if you don't think so right now, there are people around you that will make sure you will be. Just… promise me one thing."

"What is it?" she asked in a tremulous voice.

Alisa took a step backwards, raising her head to meet her gaze. "Don't forget about us. Me, the people from the outer districts you've met, and everyone from the outer districts that you'll never get the chance to. You have to make sure that this city doesn't make the same mistakes they did eight years ago. Don't… let this happen again." Her sister's periwrinkle gaze burned, the intensity in them igniting the hollowness in her chest.

"Promise me," she repeated. The grip on her arm tightened until it was almost painful.

Her erratic heartbeat at her throat, Eli struggled to swallow. She couldn't believe her own voice, shaking with emotion, or the tears that stung the back of her eyelids. Regret, conviction and the pain of what might have been were suddenly crashing in on her, but that did not change the truth that she knew was hers to say.

"I promise," she said, the words like fire against the ice underneath her skin.

Her sister let go of her then, using her hands to pull the hood of her cloak back over her head as she turned to go.

"I believe in you," she said as she looked back, the statement earnest without a trace of sorrow in it. She gave the two of them a long, meaningful look that held more than Eli knew she would ever have time to say aloud. "Both of you."

With that, Alisa turned to leave the way she had come. Within a few seconds, she was gone, her dark silhouette swallowed by the falling snow.

A few minutes passed in silence before warm fingers found one of her hands.

"Are you okay?" Nozomi asked her gently.

Eli swiped the back of her free hand against the wetness on her cheeks. "No," she said. "But… I will be."