~Chapter 10~
You awoke to the sound of something knocking on the ceiling beam you had fallen asleep on. You sat up to see Beorn knocking on the wood with a spoon. You nodded to him and hopped down from the beam, landing on your feet with a genital thud. You grabbed your shirt and vest from the door and went off to the side room to clean up. You ruffled your wings and feathers before counseling them into yourself once again. Thankfully your clothes were not ripped from the fight with Beorn's bear form. Unlike many times before. Beorn was one of the first people Gandalf introduced you to when he brought you to Middle Earth. He was a bear skin-changer and he was over joyed to discover that you had a similar gift. You friend taught you a lot about this world about how each race interacted and how they reacted to our kind. It was nice to have someone who understood. Once you cleaned up you returned to the main area of the house. Gandalf has just finished explaining what Beorn the skin- changer was. "So are there others like you, Beorn?" asked Bilbo curiously. The great man caught your eye before he answered, "You mean bear skin- changers? No, I am the last one of this land." You took the open seat at the opposite end of the table furthest from Beorn and Thorin's chairs. Beorn gets up and hands you a cup of milk, "Nice to see the bear in me didn't injurer you, my friend."
You smiled up at him "No, not injured just tire me out."
Thorin's voice is heard from the end of the table."Icarus how do you know him?" No emotion in his voice, very cold. You set your cup on the table before responding.
"Beorn is an old friend of mine. Gandalf introduced me to him when I first ventured into Middle Earth." You paused a moment before speaking again, choosing your words carefully. "I know I have a lot of explaining to do, to all of you and what you saw last night. I think it best if I showed you, please follow me outside." You got up from your seat and lead everyone outside. They gathered half circle just outside the house, with some distance between you and them. You took a deep breath and allowed your white feathers to appear on your arms, face and chest. "Beorn is not the only skin-changer left in this world. He is the last bear one, yes that is true. But I am also a skin-changer, a great owl changer." You took off your tops and unfolded your large owl wings. You felt yourself begin to shake from your nerves, no matte how hard you tried you couldn't hide the quivering in your voice. "I'm sorry..." You say before running out the gate and taking off into the sky flying higher and higher until you reach the low clouds.
It felt good to fly again during the day. During the journey so far you were able to sneak away a few times and fly a little but only during the night. You flew silently around in the clouds before coming back down to the ground. You landed in the tree in Beorn's garden close enough that you could hear the voices from the open window. You could hear them arguing about something, wither it was about you, you couldn't tell. Hopping down from the tree you picked up your shirt and put it on. Little slits in the back allow your wings to poke through. You ruffled and hid most of the other feathers on your chest and arms just leaving your wings out. You sit down on the front porch steps and try to relax.
You head the door behind you open and shut behind you as Bilbo come out. "Hey, needed some fresh air?" you say as he sits down next to you.
"Angry dwarves aren't the best company to be around. Icarus, if it's not too bold of me to ask, why did you hide this from the company?" he asks cautiously.
You sigh and relax your wings a little."Okay, just try and imagine you are the only one of your kind. The only Hobbit left in the world. If you go bragging about it people will talk about it from town to town. Now one person hears about you, and gets the idea he can make money off of this. By showing you off to the world like some prized artifact or exotic animal. So they heir a bunch of guys to come and kidnap you. It works and you spend the rest of your life in a cage. Now imagine you had said nothing in the first town. No one knows what or who you are and you are safe. No kidnapping and no cages. Do you see where I'm going with this?" you try to explain, as your wings ruffled on their own. "I said nothing because I didn't want to go back to a life in a cage. Even now that know I can trust all of you, I still felt like I had to hide it to protect myself. I'm really sorry for hiding it as long as I did." You hung your head in your hands. Folding your wings against your back to hid them fully. You and Bilbo sat in silence for a few moments.
"No one here is going to lock you away" Bilbo says calmly as he gets up and goes back inside. You head back inside after him and sit back down at the table to finish your food. Suddenly you remember something you left here a long time ago. Maybe Beorn saved it somewhere along with some of your old stuff. "Hey Beorn you didn't happen to save any of my things I left here did you?" You ask as he cleans up his table. He nods yes and points to the hay loft in the ceiling. You climb up one of the polls and search around the space. You find a small box with your stuff in it and your guitar next to it. In the box there is one of your old traveling cloaks, a few small books and a leather bound notebook. You take the notebook and flip through the pages. It's filled with sheet music that you wrote down. Songs you never wanted to forget. Most of it is guitar but some is piano and harp format. You sit with your legs hanging over the edge as you gently tune your guitar strings. You can see everyone under you arguing and disagreeing. "This is all my fault... I should have just told them." you think aloud to yourself. A song comes to mind that your fingers naturally start to play. Here Comes a Thought pours gently from your guitar strings. You sing softly along, sadly you continue to play. You stand and walk along the ceiling beams as you play and sing.
As you play the last cord you felt a little better. You strapped the instrument to your back and climb down from the rafters. You notice the arguing had stopped and you look at the group as you make your way to the door. You give them a half smile an a little wave before heading outside. You sit comfortably under the large oak tree in the garden. Your notebook out in front of you and your guitar in your lap as you slowly strum out a song, writing down notes as you play. Once you get it all written down, you slowly play it over and over again. Leaning back against the tree you try to relax. When that doesn't work you get up and go find Gandalf.
He is sitting inside cleaning his pipe and talking with Beorn. "I can trust you to leave my ponies at the frosts edge. They can find their way back on their own." Says Beorn to the wizard as you approach. "I guess we are leaving soon then. I'll let the others know to be ready." You say to them. Gandalf nodes and continues talking with Beorn. You walk over to the other part of the house were the dwarves were waiting. Walking up to Thorin you tap him on the shoulder, "Gandalf said to get ready to leave. We are going to borrow ponies till we reach the forest. From that point we will be on foot." You explain in a small voice. You go sit apart from everyone, flipping through your little book. Thorin explains the plan to everyone then comes over to you. "We need to talk." He says and walks out onto the porch.
You follow him nervously. He sits on the steps and motions for you to sit next to him. You take your seat and pull your guitar into your lap so it doesn't get damaged. You to sit in awkward silence for a while as you look through your book. "What are those?" he asks suddenly making you jump a little.
"This is only of the instruments I was able to recreate from the world I came from. It's called a guitar and this little book has some of the music I've been able to remember. Along with some things I've written myself." You explain nervously. "I was playing it earlier in the house and the garden. It helps me explain what I'm feeling when I can't put stuff into the correct words." You fiddle with the strings and strum them a little as you wait for his response.
"Could I watch you play something?" he asks quietly. You nod yes, looking up at him confused. You start to play something slow. You hum along as you pluck out Hallelujah on your guitar. About half way through the song Thorin speaks up, "Icarus, do you trust us?" You finger slip a little but you fix it and continue playing.
"I do, my gem. I do trust you all. But I was scared at what you would think. Having some shy feather head weirdo with the company." You pick up the songs tempo a little as you speak "I'm sorry I hid under my feathers. I'm sorry I've hid a large part of what and who I am. But now you know. Now you know I'm just some shy feathered thing with a talent for music and song, that likes to sleep in trees and with a birthday close to Durin's day." The song slows and stops as I put down my guitar.
"You're not a weirdo, and we've never seen you that way." Says Kili an Fili as they come up behind you and sit next to you and Thorin. You turn and see them as they sit and Dwalin in the door way with everyone else behind him. Kili puts his arm around your shoulder and gives it a squeeze, "We talked with Bilbo. You are a part of this company, and nothing is going to change that. And he reminded us of your birthday today." That made you smile and laugh a little. Turning to face everyone you spoke."No one guessed my age right. But I'll still play a song for you guys." Picking up your guitar you got up off the porch and went to sit under the tree, everyone gathering around you to listen.
"Aren't you going to tell us how old you're turning?" Asks Dwalin how sits near the back of the group. You chuckle a little as you tune the instrument in your lap.
"Well Dwalin, if you must know. Today I turn 400 years old, in dwarven comparison I would be early hundred." You confessed nervously. You start to play the song you wrote earlier in your little book. "Love Like You" you say quietly as you start to play and sing.
If I could begin to be
Half of what you think of me,
I could do about anything,
I could even learn how to love.
When I see the way you act,
Wondering when I'm coming back,
I could do about anything,
I could even learn how to love like you.
Love, like you...
I always thought I might be bad,
Now I'm sure that it's true
'cause I think you're so good
And I'm nothing like you.
Look at you go,
I just adore you,
I wish that I knew
What makes you think I'm so special
If I could begin to do
Something that does right by you,
I would do about anything,
I would even learn how to love.
When I see the way you look.
Shaken by how long it took,
I could do about anything,
I could even learn how to love like you.
Love like you...