Chapter fifteen: Bleeding Out
A light but demanding knock sounded on Cyborg's door.
He sat still for a moment before letting out a sigh and reluctantly rising from his bedroom worktable. He had been expecting this and wasn't exactly looking forward to it. Drawing in a bracing breath, he walked over to the door and activated it. The steel panel had barely slid open when a dark blue cloak whisked by him into the room.
He slowly reactivated the door and watched it slide into place with a gentle hiss. Only then did he turn to see Raven standing in the centre of his large room, hood up, arms crossed. Icy words sliced through the air like knives.
"What happened?"
Cyborg sighed again, implants humming softly, running low on power at the end of a long day. He knew there was no way out of this, though. No way he could even put it off. While Raven was vocal in her distaste for her changeling teammate, everyone knew that she cared as much about him as any other member of the team. She was fiercely protective when it came to her friends and Cyborg knew she wouldn't stop until she knew exactly what had happened with Beastboy that day.
"It'll be easiest if I just show you. But first, we have to talk."
He thought he could see an eyebrow twitch in the darkness of the hood, but he couldn't be sure. Not without activating his night-vision mode to penetrate the darkness of her hood and he had a sneaking suspicion Raven would not react to that favourably. Without a word, she turned, walked over to a solid sofa along one side of the wall and sat down stiffly.
Cyborg remained standing and started abruptly, 'Best to get this over with.'
"When the whole thing was over, you told us that you were attacked by Adonis in the tower and kidnapped by him. Then BB caught up to you both in his Beast form and during his fight with Adonis over you, you were knocked unconscious. Next thing you know, you're waking up in a wrecked med-bay with Starfire, right?"
Raven nodded and tried to keep back a shudder with partial success. Adonis had taken her completely by surprise. If Beastboy hadn't chased after them, who knows what would have happened? "I did regain consciousness briefly during their fight, but the effort of healing myself made me pass out again."
Cyborg nodded at the correction and continued."Now, I want you to try to imagine how things looked to us. BB had been a carnivorous, alpha male jerk for two days straight and had tried to start a fight with you for no reason. That night, we heard you scream and discovered both you and BB missing with his room practically destroyed. What conclusion would you have drawn?"
Raven remained quiet, making his question a rhetorical one.
"Furthermore, after we track the two of you down, we find you in some green monster's teeth down in the sewers and when we finally manage to take it down – damn near impossible by the way – it turns into Beastboy. It was immediately after that that this footage took place, okay? Keep that in mind."
Raven nodded once, not sure what to expect.
Cyborg turned to his room television, usually used to display all sorts of mathematical algorithms and limb subroutines and turned it on. He accessed the file and bought it up, hesitating briefly before pressing play.
Raven watched the screen. The video had been taken with Cyborgs robotic eye and so it was filmed first person. It started abruptly, depicting a wide angle shot of a computer screen with bars and statistics on it. The view swung around and Raven saw herself hovering above a medical bed, hair hanging down onto the pillow and without her cloak off.
"She's alive, but she's in some kind of trance." Cyborg's factual voice came out over the speakers.
"She's healing herself." Robin's taught tone came next.
Then a voice filled with fear and emotion came, "And you're telling me I did that to her? That's impossible." The camera turned and the speaker was revealed. Raven stifled a gasp.
Beastboy was sitting in an iron chair, looking like he had just fought Trigon himself. He had on a clean uniform, but that didn't hide the mess that was his body. Hair caked with dirt, face a mass of bruises, cuts and scorches, he looked worse than what she had seen back in the forest. Raven's fingers unconsciously tightened into fists as the video paused.
She turned to Cyborg, who looked guilty. "We had to go all out to stop him. The contusions are from my sonic cannon, the burns from Starfire's starbolts and the lacerations from Robin's bombs." He saw Raven open her mouth and looked down, anticipating her question, "Robin wanted to find out what had happened before we treated him."
It may have been his imagination or it may not have, but the air temperature seemed to drop a good dozen degrees as Raven's form tightened. She spoke, voice actively straining to remain flat.
"Continue."
Robin's voice came on as Cyborg restarted the video.
"We found you with her."
"No, I wouldn't. I mean we had a fight but I would never…" His voice trembled.
"She was in your teeth." Starfire's meek tone sounded.
"That's a lie!" Beastboy's entire countenance changed, pain seemingly forgotten as he strained to get out of the chair. 'Wait, what?'
The view panned out as Cyborg took a step back revealing more of Beastboy. Raven's eyes widened as she saw the heavy restraints clamping his wrists and ankles to the chair and felt emotion rise in her chest. This was the boy who had just saved her from death… and possibly worse! And here he was shackled up by his own team like a criminal! She felt the beginnings of power start to leak from her fingertips and remembered Cyborg's talk beforehand. She consciously restrained her emotions, years of practise oddly not helping much.
'Besides,' she thought, brow furrowing at the sight on the screen before her, 'he really looks like he's lost it.'
Robin entered the frame, standing tall next to Beastboy. "I'm going to ask you to keep your voice down." He said slowly, brow furrowed.
Raven watched as Beastboy clenched the arms of chair in his aggression, looking like he wanted nothing more to pounce on his leader.
Then the grip suddenly relaxed and his face turned from angry aggression to shock, confusion and fear. Raven felt her heart stir, 'He looks like how I felt after almost sending Dr. Light insane. Oh, Beastboy…'
"What… What's happing to me?" He stammered on the screen, looking downright afraid.
The camera revolved back to look at the computer screen and Cyborg's voice came from off camera.
"I'm picking of high amounts of testosterone and adrenaline from the sample I took from the chemical spill. I think it's in your body."
"The chemicals at the lab?" Robin asked.
"Because of the shapeshifting, his genetic code was always unstable. Maybe the high doses of foreign hormones are causing it to just finally…fall apart." The camera shifted back around to Beastboy, his wide eyes fixed on something off screen.
"Raven. She's going to be alright isn't she? I mean, she's not moving. What have I done?" The cracking voce of Beastboy came, filled with self-disgust and fear floated out from the screen.
Raven felt like her insides were freezing and melting at the same time. Here was Beastboy, chained to a chair after saving her from untold horrors being told that his body was possibly going to give out on him soon and all he cared about was whether she was going to be alright or not.
She struggled to keep her emotions in check, not managing to contain an uneven breath from escaping her, which she knew Cyborg would notice.
Robin's emotionless voice came on, "You have to tell me what happened."
The camera panned over to him and Beastboy slowly as if it didn't want to get caught.
Beastboy's forehead furrowed like he had a bad headache and his anguish turned into frustration "I told you, I don't remember. Any of It. We had that argument, I went to my room, I was angry and then…nothing! …Claws…a scream… nothing!"
An irritated Robin responded, "Claws and a scream isn't nothing. What else?" he demanded.
"That's all," Beastboy said, sounding defeated.
Raven watched as Robin knelt next to him, staring the whole time. "No, it isn't. You have to focus."
"I am." Beastboy said clearly exasperated.
Robin pushed his face closer to the green titan's. "You have to remember." His voice taught.
"I'm trying!"
"Try harder! If you can't tell me what happened I have to assume the worst. I have to put you in jail!"
Raven stared at the screen in outright disbelief as sweat gathered on Beastboy's brow, face furrowed in emotion. 'What the hell is he doing? Batman was right. He's interrogating Beastboy like a criminal; he can't threaten him with jail! Even if it looks suspicious, there's nothing but circumstantial evidence to go on and Beastboy clearly has no idea what's happened! Robin's out of his mind!'
Cyborg looked away from the monitor over at Raven. This was the part he was worried about, and it looked like he was right. Raven was tensed, eyes boring into the screen and hands in clenched fists. It had been a long time since he had seen her display that amount of emotion.
On the screen, Robin kept on, "You need to remember!"
"I'M CAN'T! UHAAGGHH!"
That was it. Beastboy had finally been pushed too far. The camera swung around as computers started bleeping madly and the heart rate monitor started growing quicker and quicker.
"Beastboy!" The camera angle turned back around at Starfire's panicked cry and she started for her friend.
Robin took a step back from the straining and pained Beastboy and held up a hand, stopping her approach.
"No!" He said.
Raven watched his face on the screen. She rarely relied on facial expressions and body language to read people as she was constantly exposed to the swell of their emotions. That being impossible in this case she examined Robin with narrowed eyes. He seemed oddly intent on Beastboy, watching his every move as he thrashed against his restraints. 'What is he doing?' She thought angrily.
Beastboy fought to get words out, voice coming out deeper than she had ever heard, yet still laced with fear and pain, "Get away from me!" he struggled.
His heart rate kept increasing and the computer kept on giving out countless cautions and warnings. Starfire's voice sounded again, "What is-"
She was interrupted by a tearing sound as Beastboy started to slowly morph, enlarged body ripping his uniform. Dark green fur sprouted over all over his exposed flesh and his face extended to form a snout that kept releasing a strangled yell that gradually became more of a roar. With an inhuman roar he stood up, shattering the restraints and the chair itself with ease.
Raven stared at the monster. This was worse than his Changeling form. Far worse.
Not a shred of the boy she knew remained. In his place was nothing more than an animal. A ferocious, terrifying beast. There was a moment of silence on the screen as nobody moved. The Beast examined the room closely before taking off with incredible speed.
The camera moved as Cyborg moved in front of the charging creature. There was a crash and the image on the screen rocked wildly before blinking out.
Cyborg kept his gaze on Raven. He had already watched the thing dozens of times and he didn't need to see his own failure to intervene again.
Raven stared blankly at the screen.
It promptly exploded with a burst of onyx energy.
"I need to meditate." She said quickly and lifted her arms to teleport.
"Come talk to me before you go see Robin!" Cyborg yelled worriedly.
Raven didn't respond, instead disappearing in an unusual flash of energy. Unfortunately it shredded the coach into countless small pieces.
Cyborg examined the room carefully, as if expecting something else to spontaneously combust, before sighing in relief.
"Could have been worse."
Moonbeams struggled down through an unusually heavy cloud cover, illuminating the scene. A pitch black sea hungrily washed up on the sandy shore, compelled by a strong eastern wind. Along the other side of the narrow strand was a 150 foot sheer cliff face offering no way up or down except to the most experienced of rock climbers. In fact, near the bottom it looked like several dynamite blasts had been set off, creating near caverns in the otherwise smooth rock, making any ascent or descent nearly impossible for even the most experienced climber.
Scattered around the small, rather dirty beach, some resting on top of the sand and some so buried they were barely visible, were chunks of rock. Ranging from the size of small cars to mere pebbles, they littered the place. No animals moved or sounded. No plants swayed in the evening wind. The place was dead and deserted as it always was regardless of the weather or time of day.
Raven felt her feet crunch down onto soft ground as her portal deposited her somewhat roughly on the beach. The black energy folded in on itself, eventually disappearing completely. She straightened up and looked around; confirming that she was in the right place and no one was near.
Raven let out a breath and turned to the sea then looked up at the moon. A few nights ago, it had been a true half-moon, like a dinner plate sliced in half. Now though, it was smaller. And it would continue to get smaller until it completed its waning cycle and disappeared completely, like it had never existed.
Clenching her eyes, Raven turned her head down, other senses focusing. Salt filled her nose and rested on her lips and tongue. Soft, eerie whispers of water on sand found her ears. Dryness coated her fingertips.
She was stalling.
Reluctantly, Raven opened her eyes and drew in a deep breath of salty sea air. Focusing, she turned the internal key and let it out.
And her lifeless surroundings came alive.
Huge ropes and sheets of darkest black energy exploded around the half-demon. The whipping energy had no pattern or direction in its violent movement. It simply existed, thrashing around Raven like it was fighting an invisible force field around her. Stray tendrils tore through into the base of the cliff, breaking and lifting huge hunks of rock into the swirling mess of ferocity and aggression. Gusts of wind ripped into the sand, forcing an artificial sandstorm into life.
Lashes of onyx fringed with a glowing white ripped into the dark water. Huge eruptions of liquid joined the rocks and sand, attacking each other in a tornado of elements, as if trying to prove which could survive the longest. Sharp cracks sounded over the rushing wind as solid rock split from the sheer power reverberating through the chaotic air laying waste to the environment in a flurry of pain and anguish. Everywhere was viciousness and clashing. Destruction and devastation. Wreckage and obliteration.
Except at the very centre of it all.
Standing inside of the thunderous tornado of chaos stood a girl, for whom time and space had appeared to grind to an absolute halt. She didn't see the maelstrom of pandemonium churning around her. She didn't hear the shrieking of synthetic wind or the agonised cracking of rock.
She felt it though.
Raven didn't often allow herself to feel, for a number of reasons. The danger was one very big factor. Even now as her powers tore into the earth around her, scarring it, she kept an upper limit to the amount of energy she was releasing. It wouldn't do for her to let loose compeletely.
But sometimes, she just needed to feel.
Raven struggled to cope with the influx of emotion welling within her, like an unleased tidal wave set free from the imprisonment of the ocean. Some small part of her felt her powers pulse and beat with the rise and fall of emotion within, but for the most part she focused on her internal landscape. Struggling with the inherently foreign sensation of feeling, Raven sought to separate the mass of sentiment into something she could distinguish. Her brow creased and her eyes tightened as she fought against any physical reaction to the internal battlefield.
However, it wasn't long before she was struck down and gave in. Tears forced themselves into her eyes and small rivulets started making their way down her cheeks. Sobs started wracking her body and eventually her legs gave out beneath her. Falling to her knees, Raven brought her hands to her eyes.
And wept.
The tears carried with them all of the emotion from the recent events Raven had kept bottled up inside. She saw the times she had repressed her feelings flash through her mind.
When Beastboy had been convinced Terra had come back to life and unidentifiable emotion had welled up inside.
When Beastboy had appeared in his Changeling form, his animal side showing through and shock, awe and concern made itself known within.
When she had thought that the white monster had killed Beastboy due to her own intervention and terror, guilt and disbelief had raged in her heart.
When she had seen the injuries Beastboy had sustained in fighting the monster and felt an invasion of fear and pain rise up in her gut.
When Beastboy had turned and roared directly in her face, eliciting the largest emotional response in her since Trigon's return.
When she lost control shortly after and hastily cut off her emotions, forcing them down.
When Beastboy hadn't returned and anxiety and dread had burdened her.
When Batman said he was alive and healing and relief, happiness and peace had washed over her soul.
When he had announced that Beastboy would not be returning and trepidation, grief and shock overwhelmed her.
When Cyborg played the tape and the final emotional straw was laid on her back. A beaten up Beastboy. An announcement that his life was in danger. His disregard of the fact in favour of her health. The sight of him in such physical and emotional pain. His transformation into the Beast. The resulting rising up of emotion within her. The trauma, the strain, the stress, the pressure, the heaviness and the tension.
All of it flowed out of her with her tears.
Time passed. The demonically powered mayhem continued to rage against the landscape and Raven continued to remain oblivious to it. She was too lost in the bittersweet experience of emotion. As her eyes started to dry and her breathing started to slow, Raven dropped her hands from her face, took a breath and slowly pushed herself to her feet again.
A rare curse dropped from her full lips.
'Azar, I hate being weak. I hate being defenceless. I hate not being in control.'
Raven slowly opened her eyes and observed, as if in slow motion, the chaos surrounding her with nearly uninterested eyes. Looking through the sweeping black energy, she found the light of the moon streaming weakly through slow gaps in the black and white storm. She closed her eyes again and drew a deep breath through her nose, seeking not to bury her emotions, but merely to calm them.
The already weakening storm slowed and waned around her. Larger chunks of rock fell from to the earth, burying themselves in the torn up sand. Another deep breath and the ropes and sheets of concretized emotion shrunk down and started flowing around her, losing their violent whipping motion.
Raven drew another breath, feeling the familiar deadening sensation that usually followed such an outpouring of emotion. Two minutes later and only faint wisps of white fringed energy floated around her, almost invisible in the night time darkness.
Feeling exhausted and in need of sleep, Raven turned her gaze inwards and once again twisted the metaphorical key to her heart. The remaining energy around her died out as her now subdued emotions were again imprisoned within her.
A moment passed.
Raven lifted a hand to her face and touched a finger to the dried tear track on her right cheek. Her eyes found the moon again. One thought flashed through her mind before she opened a portal to her bedroom and stepped through.
'It's brighter than before.'
So that's a chapter.
Another difficult one to write. It was the whole Raven scene at the end that threw me for a loop. I wanted to try something new, to put my own twist on Raven and her relationship with her powers and emotions. I hope I described the event well enough, It will be described and examined later, so don't worry if you don't quite understand what the hell happened
Review Responses:
FF8cerberus – Appreciated as always :)
Shugokage – Yeah, I'm looking forward to developing him. Should be a fun challenge.
LiumD – Excellent, I'm glad you approve.
EX3451 – I know where I'm planning on taking their, the problem is getting there! And everyone loves a bit of drama :) I'm glad Alfred works, I liked how I did him, wasn't sure if anyone else would.
The Brod Road – Thanks, I'm glad you like BB and BG so far. Yeah, bit soon for any romantic tension or stress, need to develop the characters and their relationships a bit more first. Haha, read it however you want to, the magic of the written word!
For Cyborg, you're right. His reaction to BB's absence will be explored. That's not a bad idea, I might try to incorporate something like that into future chapters. Unfortunately, this is going to be one of those fics that sorta' sidelines him so anything I can do to get him more screentime and add to the plot or characters is definitely good.
Thanks for your input, much appreciated.
BartWLewis – Dude, it is awesome that such an author and enthusiast like yourself thinks so highly of this. Really means a lot. No, he will not become a Robin, in any sense. Thanks for the input!
Haebris – That could actually work to some degree. Cause a bit of chaos around the tower? Sounds fun :)
Thanks for reading guys and any and all reviews are appreciated and loved!
You guys rock,
Adios amigos!
CJB