Nick hung up the phone and mechanically put it in his pocket. A train was ready to depart, and he thought about how easy it would be to just slip aboard and not look back.
Nick shook his head. He'd almost done it again. It was hard, but putting off talking to Judy would have only added another layer of terrible on top of this already awful shit sandwich. Though assuming she ever spoke to him again after she watched the video, Nick didn't even know where to start explaining it all to Judy.
Then like he'd done for months now, his mind wandered back to the nightmares he'd been having. He'd tried to convince himself it was Judy he was dreaming about, or that it really was just some weird leftover hallucination caused by the nightshade, and not something that had actually happened.
Nick remembered how Judy reacted to the vixen at the hospital, and how she'd been cheated on before in past relationships. He felt like a selfish asshole, but he didn't want to lose her.
The tod's thoughts continued to go around and around, until he felt an itchy feeling, like he was being watched. He turned to see Judy at the same moment she saw him. Nick's breath caught, and his heart leapt into his throat.
Judy looked out across the station at Nick. He was on the train platform, sitting on a bench by himself in a sea of mammals. She couldn't help but think how handsome Nick was, with his shiny spring coat already growing in. Judy could see how miserable he was when he turned to cast a forlorn look her way before he went back to staring at the ground.
Nick didn't look up when she sat next to him. There was an awkward silence before he finally said, "Nothing I can say can make up for what I've done, Judy." She started to speak, but he raised his paw and shook his head. "Lemme finish. I should have figured it out... from the dreams, I mean. But I wanted to find Karla, to make sure…" He trailed off. After a long silence, he spoke again. "This is going to freak your family out. And I can't hurt you or them like this."
Judy blurted out, "You're not trying to break up with me over this, are you?"
Nick barked out a sickened laugh. "What? Break up with… I assumed…. Judy, how can you even stand to look at me?" He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "You smell so jealous right now, and I don't blame you. This is just as bad as the kind of crap my dad pulled with my mom."
Judy huffed in annoyance and shook her head. "No, it isn't. And I am upset, but it's not your fault. I know that." Nick shook his head, but she soldiered on. "Look, I realize what family for you has been like, filled with disappointment, loneliness, and abandonment. You aren't your dad, and this isn't the same thing he did."
Nick stared blankly past the few mammals still remaining on the mostly empty platform and Judy spoke again. "By the way, you're worried about what my family will think… well, guess what? You are part of my family now, you dumb fox. And there's one thing you need to understand about rabbit families; we don't abandon each other when things get tough." Judy clasped her paws together and looked at her feet. "And what you actually are guilty of… I'm no better, because I did the same thing."
He replied with his usual snarky voice, but there was a sad edge to it. "You rampaged through the woods and attacked mammals and… other things?"
"No. I'm guilty of not treating you like a grown mammal. Through all of this, we've both kept important things from each other, pretending like we could protect each other's feelings and somehow keep each other from worrying. But you should have talked to me about your nightmares sooner. And I should have talked to you about the eggs right away… we're both adults, right?" Nick looked away as he fought back tears and Judy gently rested her paws on his arm. "Nick, look at me. Don't shut me out." She glanced over Nick's shoulder and added, "Don't shut us out." He turned to follow her gaze and saw her sister Hazel, along with a crowd of other Hopps family rabbits that had quietly gathered a few meters behind them.
With a look of openmouthed surprise on his face, Nick gazed at the rabbits milling about uncertainly and Judy said quietly, "I texted everyone on the way here and told them you needed their help."
It wasn't often that the tod was caught flat footed. A few tears rolled down his cheek, and Nick absently wiped them away before he finally tore his gaze from the rabbits to look at Judy and say, "I love you, you dumb bunny." She stood on the bench and gave him a hug. His body felt like a coiled spring, but he relaxed and put his arms around her.
The crowd of bunnies started to hesitantly inch closer, but Judy shook her head once and Hazel quietly shooed them away.
Nick let her go and wiped a few more tears from his eyes before his body was wracked by a sudden shiver.
Judy said, "Should you be charged for the murder of those two mammals?" Nick shook his head. She continued in a softer voice. "Would you forgive me if our places were reversed?"
Nick's breath hitched and he swallowed. There was a long pause before he looked at her and nodded. "Yeah, I'd forgive you. But-"
Judy cut him off. "Well, then there's only one other mammal you need forgiveness from, Nick. You."
The platform grew crowded again as mammals started to gather for the next train. Nick stared out across the platform for a few moments before a tiny smile teased across his face and he looked at her. "We really are terrible at this, aren't we?"
Judy had practically been holding her breath while she'd waited for him to speak, and she exhaled loudly and laughed. "But as long as we're terrible at it together, it's ok, remember?" She reached over to hold his paw and said contritely, "I'm sorry I made so many dumb decisions without talking to you first. I dived right in like I always do, justifying it all by pretending like I was simply doing Hazel a favor. Instead, I was unfairly trying to rope you into raising kits with me, the kits of someone who seemed to hate your guts, no less. Yeah, I wouldn't mind some of my own someday, but the only way that will happen is if I adopt… if we adopt, but you and I need to make that decision. Together."
Nick made a noise Judy had never heard from him before, a whine that came out as an odd, wheezing laugh. He was about to speak, when the train pulled into the station. The doors opened and mammals streamed onto the platform.
Nick shakily stood up and Judy jumped in front of him with a look of alarm on her face. "You aren't still going to leave, are you?"
He gave her a weary smile. "I'm not going anywhere, Fluff." He sighed and looked past her. "I never was."
"Then why are you here?" She looked around in confusion, before she realized he didn't have any luggage. "Wait, are you meeting someone? Who?"
"I could explain, but you may as well just wait a minute until she gets here." Judy felt a momentary surge of jealousy. Nick sniffed once and laughed. "Carrots… look, it's not like that. I think you'll like her." His voice quavered uncertainly when he added, "At least, I hope you will. Oh, there she is."
Judy turned to look, but her view was blocked by a hippo walking towards them carrying a padded carrier on her shoulder. She tried to see around the plump mammal, uncertainly searching for a white vixen, until the hippo paused directly in front of them and spoke. "This is highly irregular, Mr. Wilde. You're supposed to meet me down at the main office later, since there's a mountain of paperwork to go through first."
"I just couldn't wait." Nick glanced at Judy before looking back up at the hippo. "Can we see her?"
The larger mammal knelt and carefully held out the open topped carrier. Inside was a tiny grayish fox kit, swaddled and fast asleep.
Nick cleared his throat. "Carrots, I'd like you to meet my daughter, Vivi."
If someone had told me this morning that I'd be meeting Nick's daughter today, I would have thought they were crazy. Could I honestly be mad at him? It wasn't like I'd really given him any warning before getting the eggs implanted, and he'd only just found out about Vivian. I think he would have eventually told me, if the caseworker hadn't shown up first.
A few days ago the Northlund police captured Karla at the hospital where she went after going into labor. She's being held on several drug related charges, and may also face charges in connection with the murder of her mother.
Judy hugged Hazel and said goodbye to all her siblings that had helped move a few borrowed things from the warren to Nick's apartment. He'd decided he wanted to spend the first night with Vivian at his place, since it was bigger and mostly empty anyway.
Judy shut the front door before she walked to the bedroom and found Nick standing over a small white crib with carrots on the side. He looked nervous as he peered down at the sleeping fox kit.
Judy walked over to Nick and he gently hugged her to his side. "I'm terrified."
"Of what?"
"Of being a horrible dad, like my father was."
Judy smiled mischievously and said, "Well, I guess I'll just have to stick around, to keep an eye on both of you."
He smiled. "I don't deserve you, Judy."
"I don't deserve you either. But you're mine, Nick Wilde. And I'm yours."
He looked sad for a moment before he said, "How can you stand to look at her? Won't she remind-"
"She reminds me of you, Nick. Only you. Please… let me help you. Both of you. I'll beg if you want."
Nick laughed, then held his breath when the fox kit stirred restlessly. He froze, unsure of what to do, until Judy grabbed his paw and gently held it against the kit's back. Vivian sighed and kept sleeping.
Karla's trial is almost over, and she'll be headed to prison for awhile. She's made a plea deal on the drug charges, though at least she's no longer a suspect in her mother's murder, thanks in part to Nick's testimony.
Speaking of mammals going to prison, we finally arrested Marmota. He's been charged with forty-eight counts of illegal wiretapping, including the communications equipment of a police officer, withholding evidence that impacted at least five different police investigations, including one murder, and twenty-three counts of blackmail. There will certainly be more to come, since other mammals have come forward after seeing his arrest on the news. It's amazing the lengths to which he went to ruin the lives of others, just to put a few more dollars into his pocket. Speaking of which, the Zootopia Gossip has lost quite a few readers since the ZBI started investigating them.
Closer to home, things have been going great for us. Nick offered to put some of the skills he learned on the camping trip to use at the warren. It turns out bunnies aren't too keen on killing and cleaning fish, so he's been helping out with that. And though it was a rough transition at first, Nick has been dropping Vivi off at the warren daycare. She started walking after only three weeks and chewing on everything, including the ears of the other kits, at six weeks. I can't believe how independent she is compared to a baby bunny, and Vivian is so noisy and rambunctious when she's awake, but she seems to be settling in ok.
I always try to beat Nick there when I know he's picking her up. The way his face lights up when he sees his daughter at the end of a long day at work… it's hard to describe. But I love seeing it, every single time.
It took a bit longer than I thought it would, but we've finally moved in together, and I'm excited. Tonight I'm trying to give Nick space so he can put Vivi to bed, since they've already got their bedtime routine down. Still, maybe I will go peek in on them.
Judy put her journal on the bedside table and crept to Vivian's bedroom. The door was ajar, and Judy smiled when she heard Nick speaking softly.
"Vintery mintery cutery corn…"