A/N: Enjoy!
You know what I hate?
This knew motherfucking I Am Robot shit that occurs when you fucking try and log in to fanfiction.
No I'm not a god damn robot.
So fuck you, my good sir!
Anyways.
You know that feeling where you're just kinda reading a story and you're just like…
What the fuck is this.
But then, you notice that you're on chapter seven.
So basically you've been thinking this for seven chapters yet you continue to read.
Even I, probably the pickiest critic in Naruto fanfiction, do it.
We call this the "Why Am I Still Reading This?" effect.
It's almost as if you are trapped in this story and you can't look away.
Here is my explanation:
It's a downward spiral. You start a story and you're like "Man! This is gonna be good!" and you know what you do? You wait. You sit there fucking reading waiting for the god damn good part of the story. Which my friends, is not gonna come. True story:
Me at Home
"Oh Fanfiction…We meet again. Oooooh a story! Looks interesting! I'm gonna put all my hope in this fic being amazing and adventurous! Let me just take a sneak peek!...Oh wow…this is a um…really…really…slow start…But I know it'll get better! In fact, I'm going to devote tonight to this story! I just gotta have patience and wait for the good part."
I spent 27, one million word, chapters…waiting for the good part.
…
And then the bitch discontinued it.
No, I didn't review.
I sent that crazy ass mother-fucker a private message. And I asked her a simple question.
"What possessed you to write such a god-awful story, my poor child?"
You know what she did?
She apologized.
So my lesson today is:
Don't wait. If the story is shit the story is shit. Do not wait for the shit to clog your toilet before you fucking decide to flush…
It's a process.
Shit then flush, shit then flush.
This is only if you're constipated though
…
I'm sorry.
Just how many times did I say shit in this chapter anyway...
Isn't this like…the second time I'm fucking alluding to god damn toilets?
And...
Why do I use so many motherfucking ellipses?
A/N: Review!