XXIII
Secrets
It was only a few days after the Order meeting that dueling practice began. One morning, Hermione, Harry, and Ginny were sitting at the dining room table, eating breakfast and drinking their tea when Tonks abruptly barged in. "Up, you three," she said, her hair a vibrant purple color, "we've got the whole day and I'm not going to let it go to waste. Now where are Ron and the twins?"
"What's going on?" Harry asked, inspecting Tonks' robes. Instead of her usual garb, she was dressed in her full Auror gear.
"We're practicing. Molly's given us the day to work on your dueling outside and I'm going to take advantage of it."
Both Harry and Ginny lit up at the idea. Instead of having to continue the almost endless cleaning jobs that Mrs. Weasley employed them with, they would get to duel. "Are Sirius and Remus going to be there too?"
Tonks nodded, "meet us out back with Ron and the twins as soon as you can." With that, she swept out of the dining room.
"I'll wake them up," Ginny said, standing up from the table, "you two go ahead."
As Hermione and Harry walked towards the back gardens, Hermione spotted Draco descending the stairs. Doing the math over in her head, she realized that with Sirius and Remus, there would be an odd number of people. As if in tune with her thoughts, Harry turned to Draco. "Malfoy," he said, catching Draco's curious attention, "we're going to practice dueling out back."
"And…?" Draco said narrowing his eyes.
"Do you want to come?" Hermione asked lightly, offering him a smile.
He regarded Harry and Hermione very closely for a moment before nodding. "Since there's nothing better to do… might as well."
Together, the three of them made their way outside. They walked past the gardens and the greenhouse, where a patch of grass stretched before meeting the small pond. Sirius, Remus, and Tonks stood there. Remus and Sirius were engaged in a duel already, sending quick, agile hexes at each other. After a few seconds, Remus noticed the approaching trio. He did a double take, probably at the sight of Draco, and then let out a yelp of pain when a stinging hex hit him. Sirius' barking laughter reverberated across the clearing.
"That's one for Sirius, zero for Remus," Tonks announced, clicking her tongue chidingly at Remus.
"And he's supposed to be the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor," Sirius scoffed, clapping Harry on the back when they arrived beside him.
"I was distracted," he grumbled, pouting.
"First lesson, kids," Tonks said, facing the three of them, not even slightly put off by Draco's presence, "there will always be distractions, but you still have to keep your focus on your opponent. Constant vigilance, as some would say." Her words were spoken wryly, amused glances shot at Remus every few seconds. Remus just shook his head.
Ron, Ginny, Fred, and George had now joined them on the field. "What's Malfoy doing here?" Ron immediately asked.
"He's here because this isn't an activity that has to be exclusive to us," Hermione said. "Everyone could always brush up on their dueling. Plus, it's not like any one of you is less prone to boredom than the others." It was obvious that everyone was bored out of their minds here at the Estate.
"And you're not, Hermione?" Sirius asked, grinning, "there must be something awfully interesting you're doing, hmm?"
Remus shot Sirius an icy glare, prompting the Animagus to let out a bark of laughter. "Alright, alright, let's get on with the dueling, shall we?"
Tonks quickly paired them up. Hermione supposed the she was lucky to have been partnered with Draco. While she wanted to include him today, she also worried that having him fight against someone like Ron would cause an actual duel.
Moving off to their own space, Hermione and Draco faced off against each other, beginning with a bow and quickly launching into their duel. Draco started with fast, hard-to-deflect spells. Hermione fought back with harder, more brutal curses, and soon Draco did the same. Within moments they were dodging and firing wildly. Hermione could feel the perspiration on her brow and the rapid hammering of her heart against her chest. She didn't pay attention to the other pairs around her, only conscious of Draco's movements and any spells that were coming towards her.
In the end, Draco was quite a match, but she surprised him with a rapidly shot off jelly-legs jinx. Soon he was falling to the ground, his legs failing beneath him and his wand shot out of his hand by Hermione a second later.
Now that her attention wasn't focused on Draco, Hermione saw Tonks and Sirius approaching from her left. A little behind them were Remus and George, who were engaged in a relaxed duel. She could see Remus' eyes dart towards her every few seconds.
"Quite impressive, Hermione," Tonks said, nodding and turning to Sirius.
"I agree," he said, "though you may want to work on your footwork. Your dodging was a little sluggish at points."
Hermione nodded, absorbing the advice.
Tonks turned to Draco, cancelling the Jelly-Legs Jinx and helping him up. "Cousin," she said wryly, "you fight like a Malfoy."
Draco didn't seem to know what to say. Hermione wondered if he'd ever spoken to Tonks before, or even knew who she was. To be honest, even Hermione had forgotten that Tonks' mother was Narcissa's estranged sister. She idly wondered if Tonks and Narcissa had any time to talk since arriving at the Estate.
"I don't know whether to take that as a compliment or an insult," Draco said after missing a beat.
Tonks laughed, "It's a compliment. Malfoys may be a brutal lot, but that doesn't mean they aren't excellent duelers."
Draco nodded. Hermione approached, extending her hand to him. "Good fight," she said.
Draco took her hand, letting out a breath. "I hate to admit it, Granger," he said, "but you're a powerful witch."
It was the kind of comment she'd never have expected to hear from the likes of Draco Malfoy, but it was welcome nonetheless. "Thanks," she said, now turning her attention to the other dueling pairs.
Harry bested Fred in their duel, much to Fred's chagrin. Ron ended up on the receiving end of a nasty Bat-Bogey hex from Ginny, who emerged triumphant. Remus beat George, as was to be expected, but that didn't stop Hermione from wincing every time George send a potentially dangerous spell his way.
As the day progressed, partners were switched and many duels took place. Hermione didn't get the chance to fight Remus, but she found herself hoping to do it sometime in the future anyway.
Finally, it grew late in the afternoon. They'd been working and practicing continuously since that morning with only an hour break for lunch. Hermione was exhausted and sweaty. She desperately wanted to take a shower and pass out in bed… preferably Remus' bed.
As the full moon drew nearer, Hermione found herself once again experiencing all the symptoms she had come to be quite familiar with. The same frustrating restlessness, fatigued body, increased senses, and overactive sex drive soon plagued her. This month, though, her whole perspective on the full moon was quite different. This time she was living in the Prince Estate, and this time almost everyone within the house knew of her lycanthropy.
"Bloody hell, Hermione," Ron commented one morning at breakfast, "you like you didn't sleep at all last night."
Hermione let out an incoherent grunt in response. Harry immediately elbowed Ron in the side. "The full moon is in two days, Ron," he said chidingly.
"Oh," Ron mumbled, "sorry, I forgot."
"It's fine," she waved her head, "I probably do look like quite a mess." This could almost fully be accredited to the fact that she'd fallen asleep away from Remus last night for the first time all week. Ginny found it quite funny that Remus hadn't allowed Hermione to spend the night in his room. He had told Hermione that he didn't like the idea of them being near each other all night this close to the full moon. Hermione was quite put out by this, having hoped that he would finally give in and shag her when the full moon symptoms started to kick in. It appeared that Remus had more self-control than she initially thought…
As if on cue, Remus entered the kitchen, rubbing the sleep from his eyes and looking as if he'd just been hit in the head by a rogue Bludger. Ginny let out a quite chuckle upon seeing Remus, but quickly mastered herself. Hermione didn't look at him, hoping that his own exhaustion right now was enough to teach him a lesson for last night. She wanted to be let back into his room, and she knew that he wanted it too.
"I can't believe we never made the connection at Hogwarts," Harry mused, looking between Hermione and Remus. "I mean, we all knew that you were sick with something, Hermione, but why didn't we see it? It was always the full moons, always the same as Remus."
"You know," Ginny mused over her mug of tea, "oddly enough, Ron mentioned it to me once, jokingly of course."
"I did?" Ron looked up from the muffin he was scarfing down.
"Yeah," Ginny leaned forward in her seat, "you said that maybe Hermione was sick because she'd secretly become infected by a werewolf or something. I never took it seriously, though, because… it was outrageous…"
Harry let out a short laugh. Hermione looked over at Remus and saw that he wore a downcast expression. "It is pretty outrageous," he mumbled. Hermione couldn't resist reaching for his hand and covering it with her own. He met her eyes for a moment, and she tried to convey to him how much she wished he could let go of all the guilt and self-hatred. A part of her knew that it wouldn't go away as long as their situation remained the same, and perhaps that was why he was still holding back from her.
Remus wouldn't have sex with her, and she knew it was far-fetched to think that finding a successful alteration to Wolfsbane would fix that, but it was a major motivator. A small part of Hermione's mind firmly believed that the only way he could truly forgive himself was if she found a way to cure the physical transformation. She held onto that hope every day when she worked on her research in Snape's lab.
Ginny cleared her throat, and Hermione's eyes were pulled away from Remus'. She blushed, looking back to her breakfast. Luckily, Sirius and the twins entered the dining room a moment later, changing the subject to a discussion of some WWW products that they were trying to get a Marauder's opinion on.
Hermione covertly watched Remus throughout most of the morning, and when they went to Snape's lab to start working, she could barely keep her eyes off of him. It was only upon Remus' insistence that Snape could walk in at any moment that she backed off.
In the afternoons, after taking their Wolfsbane, Remus and Hermione started to pick up on their habit of jogging again. This time, they went for jogs around the borders of the Estate, just before the wards closed off the outside world. One afternoon, Sirius joined them as Padfoot, galloping beside them as they did laps around the outskirts of the gardens, his tongue lolling out from the side of his mouth. It seemed to put Remus in a lighter mood when Sirius was present, and Hermione knew that this meant the full moon would easier as well.
When the full moon finally did come around, the whole household seemed to have a dreadful atmosphere. At dinner, everyone aside from Draco and Narcissa knew what was happening that night. Of course, it seemed that it would remain a secret for long, because after a couple sly comments from Fred and George, Draco and Narcissa were tipped off.
"Well," George sighed, "Remus is certainly wolfing down that stew, isn't he Fred?"
"Yes," Fred agreed, "Hermione too. Both of you are just ravenous tonight, aren't you."
Hermione glared at the twins, echoed by Harry and Ginny. Her eyes flickered to Draco a moment later, sitting at the end of the table. He watched the exchange with narrowed eyes. His mother beside him looked distinctly uncomfortable. Hermione knew that she couldn't blame Narcissa for still being uncomfortable with all the talk about Lycanthropy. She'd been raised to hate werewolves and any other being that was deemed to be below her. Narcissa had actually been quite civil towards Remus and Hermione, despite knowing that one was a werewolf and the other Muggle-born.
"The full moon's tonight," Ron said, as if informing the twins of something they didn't already know. It appeared that Ron hadn't caught the joke, being distracted by his own stew, and he'd also apparently forgotten the fact that it was still a secret from a few members of the household.
Suddenly Ron let out a yelp when Ginny stomped her foot on his under the table. "Bloody hell! What was that for?"
Ginny was glaring at Ron and the twins. She quickly darted her eyes over to Draco, and comprehension dawned on Ron. "Oh," he muttered, the tips of his ears going red.
"What's going on?" Draco said, looking at Hermione and Remus with an expression of supreme suspicion.
"Another roll, anyone?" Mr. Weasley spoke up, holding up a basket of his wife's bread rolls, a tight smile on his face.
Hermione looked around the table, at the faces of her friends and extended family members, and then at Remus. He shrugged, letting her know that he didn't mind if she told them. She turned towards Draco and Narcissa.
Best just to be blunt about this, she thought to herself. "I'm a werewolf," Hermione said calmly, "I was infected on the night Lucius tried to kill me."
The whole room had taken up an ominous silence. Draco's face drained of color. Narcissa wore a completely blank, mastered expression. "That's what you were talking about," Draco whispered after a moment, "when you said that I didn't know half of what happened that night." His voice was far away, but his eyes focused on Hermione.
She nodded. Across the table, Remus was staring down at his plate of food, a hard expression on his face.
To everyone's surprise, Narcissa spoke next. "My husband is a horrible person, Hermione," she said, "I'm sorry he did that to you. I'm quite sure you don't deserve a curse like that."
Before anyone else could react, Remus was standing up from the table, his chair screeching as it dragged against the floor. "Excuse me," he said quietly, picking up his plate and silverware and storming off towards the kitchen. Hermione watched his back as he retreated, seeing the tension in his shoulders and his free hand balled into a tight fist.
She quickly glanced back to Narcissa. The woman looked quite regretful of what she had said. She probably had no idea of how it could upset Remus, but really, Hermione wanted to yell at her for it. She shouldn't have been so insensitive. Or perhaps it was Hermione's fault, for telling Draco and Narcissa in front of everyone, including Remus…
"Thank you, Narcissa," Hermione said, ignoring the tremor in her voice. She looked down to her bowl of stew, and then up at the people sitting around her. "Excuse me for a moment," she said, echoing Remus' words and actions as she got up and retreated from the room. She caught Sirius' eye on her way out, and he nodded to her slowly, as if telling her that he would keep everyone else at bay, and let Remus and Hermione have a moment.
Remus was standing in the kitchen, his arms braced on the countertop and his head bent downward. His eyes were closed, his jaw clenched tightly. Hermione moved forward and stood beside him, tentatively reaching out a hand to touch his shoulder. Once she made contact with him, he took a deep, shuddering breath, as if inhaling the tranquility that her presence offered.
They'd both grown used to the calming sensation of another werewolf's presence, but it was times like these when it truly made itself known. Perhaps it was the impending full moon, or the emotional event that had just taken place, but she could feel his presence with ever fiber of her being.
Suddenly, Remus turned swiftly, reaching out to her and pulling her into his arms. With a strength that she knew was hard to muster on the evening of the full moon, he picked her up and swiftly set her on the countertop. She was just a head taller than him now, sitting on the counter and looking down at him.
It almost didn't feel like an embrace the way he clung to her. One arm came to wrap around her back, the other around her shoulders. He pulled her hard against him, resting his head on her shoulders and taking deep, shuddering breaths. Hermione allowed him to do as he pleased, placing one hand on his head, threading her fingers through his hair.
Neither spoke.
It was a long time before Remus gained some semblance of composure. He tightened his arms around her for a second before pulling back. Hermione rested her hands on either shoulder, staring into his eyes and trying to gauge how he was feeling.
"I'm sorry," he said, his eyes darting to the door leading into the dining room, where the whole house was still seated.
"It's okay," she mumbled, lazily threading her fingers through his hair, "the full moon's only a few hours away. It'll feel better in the morning."
He nodded noncommittally. "We probably need to get up to the attic anyway."
Hermione hummed in agreement, "I can tell Sirius."
Remus nodded, standing back as Hermione hopped off the countertop, approached the door to the dining room, and stuck her head in. She found Sirius' eyes amongst the plethora of people watching her. "We're going up to the attic," she said quietly.
Sirius nodded, standing up from the table. "I'll join you," he said quietly, nodding his head at everyone else and thanking Mrs. Weasley for the meal before he exited the room. "All right there, mate?" he said, looking at Remus once the door was closed and the three of them safely inside the kitchen.
Remus nodded. "Let's get this over with."
Professor Snape had prepared the attic. Aside from having several automatically activating wards, the door was boarded up with a large wooden latch. The fact that so many precautions had to be taken made Hermione uncomfortable, but she knew that if on the off chance the Wolfsbane failed it would be dire if Remus and Hermione could escape the attic.
"Now," Sirius sighed, assessing the old attic around them, "I've been kind enough to say I'd sit with the two of you in here all night, so you'd better not get up to anything randy."
"Sirius…" Remus began warningly.
"What?" the man continued, "I don't know what kind of freaky stuff you werewolves like to do."
Hermione took the liberty of slapping Sirius lightly on the shoulder. "Be quiet," she chided.
Sirius just laughed, shifting into Padfoot a moment later. Hermione exchanged a look with Remus. There was still a downward curve of his lips, telling her that he was quite tense. She stepped closer to him, reaching out to grasp his hand and entwine her fingers with his. They exchanged comfort with each other, knowing that it was going to be a long night, as all full moons were.