XXIV
Blinding Sunlight and Perilous Darkness
It was morning. The full moon was over and the sun had risen in its place. Hermione knew this because of the blinding sunlight that seeped through a crack in the wooden walls of the attic. There was also the obvious indicating fact that she was a human again, not a wolf.
The witch buried her face in her arms, lying face down on a dusty carpet on the floor of the attic. A part of her told her to find something to cover her nakedness, but she actually didn't care that much anymore. Remus knew her body now, and as for Sirius, she couldn't care less.
Suddenly she heard a shifting, the noise amplified in her ears as her senses were still acutely in tune after the full moon. It was Remus. He moved closer to her, his arm coming to wrap around her back. The feel of his skin on hers was enough to soothe many aches in her body. She noted in the back of her mind that she'd not scratched or clawed at herself once this full moon. Perhaps it was due to Sirius' presence or the fact that she was getting better at controlling herself with every passing month.
She was reminded of Sirius as Remus pulled himself closer to her, his arm tightening around her waist, their naked bodies aligned. "Remus," she rasped, opening her eyes and picking her head up.
"Sirius left," he said, knowing what she was thinking.
Hermione looked around the attic, seeing no sign of either dog or human. She hadn't noticed him leave. Perhaps it was during their final transformation back that he'd slipped out.
"Good," she replied finally, turning to face him, "I don't want to put clothes on."
He huffed out a laugh, his tired face shifting into a smile. Hermione moved closer, pressing her face into his chest and taking deep breaths. She felt very, very tired. Aside from that, though, it wasn't a particularly awful post-moon experience.
Remus pressed his face into the hollow of her neck, his mouth soon latching onto her shoulder, leaving a light kiss on the freckled and sweaty skin. Hermione knew that both of them needed to bathe pretty badly right now, but she couldn't quite bring herself to care. Instead she returned the affectionate gesture, pressing her lips to his sternum, just below the hollow of his neck.
She must have drifted off to sleep then, because before she knew it Remus was gently shaking her awake. "Sirius will be back soon."
She groaned, "I don't want to get up."
He let out a small chuckle. "I know. He's just going to give us some potions and then we're going to go to my room and you can sleep again."
She thought this over, rubbing the sleep out of her eyes. "Won't someone notice?"
"Sirius will cover for us," Remus replied, "and I'm sure Ginny as well."
Hermione accepted this. She sat up on the carpet, looking around for the robe she'd put on earlier. It was strewn across the floor a few feet away. It took her several seconds to make her way over to it and shrug it on. When she turned around Remus was dressed too.
Soon Sirius was knocking on the door at the top of the staircase to the attic. He opened it not a moment later, arms full of potions that Professor Snape must have brewed.
"All right there?" He asked, looking Remus and Hermione over.
Both let out incoherent mumbles in response, taking the potions and downing them one-by-one.
All that was left was to make the trek down from the attic to Remus' bedroom. Luckily it was still quite early in the morning, so no one was out and about yet. Sirius helped Hermione down the stairs while Remus slowly made his way, refusing help. At last they arrived at Remus' room. With Sirius' arm still partially supporting her, she made her way to Remus' bed and fell asleep just as her head hit the pillow.
Two hours later, Harry sat at the table across from Sirius, two mugs between them and no one else in the room. "How much time does Dumbledore think we have?" the young wizard asked, looking down at his tea with a tight-lipped expression.
"Weeks," Sirius replied factually, "possibly a month or two."
Harry considered this information. If Voldemort was moving forward with other plans of domination of the Wizarding World in a matter of months, it didn't seem like they had much time to be sitting around and doing nothing like they were today. Sirius had said that he didn't feel like holding a dueling session after his lack of sleep, and with Remus and Hermione both absent the group would dwindle even further. Ron, Ginny, and the twins had jumped on the free time to get a pick up Quidditch game going outside. Harry hadn't felt much like playing today.
"I just don't feel right," Harry exhaled, leaning back in his chair and looking at his Godfather, "I mean- when you were first inducted into the Order they had you going on missions within a week!"
Sirius couldn't argue with this fact. He'd told Harry enough stories about his first year as an Order member. "It was a different time, Harry. James and I were already in Auror Training." Sirius fiddled with his wand, rolling it under his fingers on the table. "Plus," he added, "Molly Weasley did not consider me one of her adopted children to coddle and protect."
Harry chuckled despite himself. He found it funny when Sirius and Mrs. Weasley got into their little rows. A few times, though, things had grown ugly and he'd often wished the pair of them didn't have to be so argumentative.
Harry and Sirius were still grinning when the door to the dining room opened. In walked Draco, a stack of paper in one hand and a sandwich in the other. Upon spotting Harry and Sirius sitting across from each other, he paused.
"Hi, Malfoy," Harry murmured, chancing a look at Sirius, whose jaw was tight. Everyone in the house had accepted Draco's presence in the house and his lack of evil intentions except for Sirius. It seemed to have something to do with Draco's resemblance to his father, and all the things Lucius had done to wrong Sirius and Sirius' friends in the past.
"Potter," Draco replied, shifting in discomfort. After a moment he dropped the stack of paper he was holding onto the table. "Severus asked me to drop off the Prophet," he informed them.
Wordlessly, Sirius leaned over and grabbed the newspaper. He set to skimming the cover. Harry turned back to Draco, "thanks."
Draco nodded, making to leave the room, but then stopping. He turned around, looking at Harry with obvious trepidation. "Granger-" he began, "she's okay, right?"
Sirius scoffed. Harry ignored his Godfather's reaction and answered Draco. "Yeah. She'll probably just sleep the whole day. Sirius said she and Remus are fine- just tired."
Draco nodded warily, still not leaving. Harry could tell that he was still battling with whether to say something or not. At last, he spoke, "my mum didn't know either. She thought- neither of us ever imagined what truly happened that night."
"Well," Sirius spoke up, eyeing Draco over the top of the Prophet, "perhaps you'd better wise up to what your father is really capable, then?" His words were sharp and biting.
Draco looked at Sirius, conflicted and troubled, and then he silently left the dining room.
"He's not his father, you know." Harry watched Sirius closely.
The Animagus sighed, "I know. You should have seen how Lucius looked when we were in school together. It's hard not to make some connections when they look like the same bloody person."
Harry nodded, returning to his tea and resisting the urge to continue this conversation. While Sirius proceeded to read his side of the Prophet, Harry examined the back page, held up in Sirius' hands.
It was the obituaries. The page looked overflowed with names. None of the deaths had been confirmed as Death Eater doings, but from the last Order meeting Harry could tell that at least half of these were on behalf of Voldemort's forces. He felt sick.
It was hours later when Hermione awoke. It must have been verging on mid-afternoon now. She found herself lying in bed beside Remus, marveling at how much nicer it was to not have anything to do the day after the full moon. There were no classes to attend, no meals to make appearances at, and no friends to hide her secrets from.
She woke up slowly, thoroughly enjoying the pleasure of not being shaken away by Remus, told that she had to sneak back to her room before anyone else in the house awoke. She could rely on Sirius and Ginny to cover for them. It was the day after the full moon; she deserved some peace.
As if in sync with Hermione, Remus awoke only a few seconds later. She could feel him shifting, stretching his tired limbs and inhaling deeply behind her. "Morning," he murmured as Hermione turned over to face him.
"Afternoon," she corrected, nodding towards the window in his bedroom, where the sun could be seen hanging low in the sky.
"Mmm," he groaned, shifting closer to her under the sheets and wrapping his arms around her torso, "we slept for quite a while."
"I think I could sleep forever when you're nearby," she murmured, noticing that there was a dull ache in her temple, one of the lasting damages from the full moon. She rested her head against his shoulder, her face turned into the pillow.
"It is funny," he commented, trailing a free hand up and down her arm, "how much easier it is to fall asleep and get a restful sleep with you around."
Hermione shifted closer to him, feeling the alignment of their bodies, side-by-side. They were silent for a long while before Hermione shifted upwards in bed, now face-to-face with him. She leaned in and kissed him, a chaste peck on his lips. "I want to do it tonight," she whispered, inches away from his face. She felt silly saying it – or rather, bringing it up – like this, but she didn't know how else.
He was slow to understand what she meant. "Do… do what?" His brow furrowed, before comprehension dawned. "Oh."
She couldn't help smiling, leaning in to kiss him again.
"I don't know if that's a good idea," he said, pulling back, "we're both still recovering from the full moon…"
"Which is why it's actually the perfect time," she retorted, "the moon is over, but we're still exhibiting some of the symptoms; symptoms that need to be sated. Plus, I don't know about you but I feel much better than I would after a normal full moon."
He sighed, eyes ghosting over her face and the happy expression there. Finally, he gave a slight nod, "okay. Let's talk about it later tonight, though. Then we can move forward, but I want to talk about it."
He responded exactly how she expected him to. Hermione nodded in happy agreement, crinkling her nose up a moment later. "I haven't bathed in over twenty-four hours."
"I don't mind," he uttered drowsily, his head once again falling back onto the pillow, eyes drooping.
"I do," she replied, sitting up in Remus' bed and glancing around. "What are the chances, do you think, that we could sneak into the bathroom down the hall together?"
He raised a single eyebrow, his tired face perking up in the dimly lit bedroom. "Slim," he said after a moment, "Tonks is probably wandering around out there."
She frowned. "Fine. Separate bathing, and then we'll reconvene later tonight." She punctuated this statement with a quick, passionate kiss on his lips. Remus watched Hermione get out of bed, pull some clothes on, and retreat from the room.
Hermione slipped inside Remus' bedroom late that night, dinner having ended at least an hour ago and the house quieting down as everyone went off to bed. "Hello," she said shyly from the door. Remus sat reading, stretched across his bed on top of the blankets and sheets.
He put his book down, glancing up at her through the dim light. "Hi again," he said.
She walked towards him, feeling a flutter in her stomach as she climbed onto the bed beside him. Remus sat up. "Everyone's asleep," she murmured, looking up at him through her eyelashes and remembering the conversation she had with Ginny only moments ago. Hermione had confessed her plans for tonight. Ginny had been ecstatic.
Remus looked like he wanted to say something, like he was trying to formulate something to say in his mind, but Hermione cut him off. She leaned in, kissing him fully on the lips and winding her arms around his neck. Remus returned the kiss, leaning back against the headboard and allowing Hermione to climb into his lap. She straddled him, kissing her way down to his jaw and neck in the way she knew he liked. He returned the favor a moment later, and Hermione didn't even try to restrain her quiet moan when he nipped at her clavicle.
Their relationship had been physical like this for over a week now. It wasn't very long, but to Hermione it felt like an eternity. She knew Remus as well as almost anyone in her life right now. Since arriving at the Estate they'd spent nearly every day together in either the greenhouse or Snape's lab. After the others went to sleep, they spent most nights together as well. She knew his body – at least to the full extent that she could without having sex – and he knew hers. She knew how he liked to be kissed, how it felt to have his arms wrap around her waist and then tug upwards at her jumper…
She could already feel his hardness through the multiple layers of clothing. Remus tipped his head back and groaned when she rocked against him. She thought it was all over then, and she'd won the battle over whatever remaining hesitation he had. However, he proved her wrong.
"Hermione," he breathed, grasping her shoulder with one hand and her waist with the other. She pulled back and met his gaze. "Are you sure you're ready?" he asked, "you know that you don't have to do this, you're not obligated in any way."
She almost laughed. "Of course I know that. The point is that I want to."
I want to because I think I'm in love with you, a voice in her head added. She quickly pushed these thoughts away, not having given much thought to the concept of being in love with him. There would be time for that later, but it was too soon now. It had only really been one week…
Remus was still watching her with a look of worry.
"Do you want to?" she asked, her voice smaller this time.
He let out a shaky breath. "Yes. More than I can admit, actually."
She looked down at the pattern quilt beneath them, tracing her fingers along its shapes. "I already performed the contraceptive spells," she mentioned casually.
Remus didn't say anything for a beat. "Oh," he finally murmured.
Hermione decided that they weren't going to get anywhere if they kept talking about it like this. She scooted closer to him again, kissing him deeply and with all the pent-up emotions and frustrations she had after the full moon. Remus returned the kiss in much the same manner, and before Hermione knew it he was flipping them over, his body stretched out above hers along the bed, his erection pressing into her lower stomach.
She felt the flutter in her stomach return full force. It was mostly excitement and arousal that was making her insides coil and heat up, but she knew that there was also some nervousness there.
No need to be nervous. This is Remus. She told herself this, allowing him to pull the cotton t-shirt over her head and kiss his way down from her neck, over her breasts and stomach. She cared so deeply about him – possibly even loved him – and she trusted him more than almost anyone else on this earth. Plus, he cared about her. The gentle fondness and reverent kisses assured her of that.
He was struggling to unclasp her bra. It was different than the kind she usually wore, having three clasps instead of two. Hermione couldn't help but laugh at his frustrated expression as he attempted to unclasp it from above.
"A little help?" he said, laughing along with her.
"Can't even remove a simple bra?" she taunted, clicking her tongue chidingly before undoing it herself.
Remus responded to her teasing by pulling away the fabric quickly and attacking her breasts, pinching his teeth down on one nipple. Hermione cried out, stuck somewhere between surprise and arousal. Remus continued this harried exploration, his lips gliding across her soft, pale skin in a way that made her quiver with anticipation.
Eventually she had enough of this tedious foreplay. Realizing that the werewolf above her was still fully clothed, Hermione reached for his shirt, unbuttoning it jerkily. Sometime after the third button Remus decided to obstruct her goal. He pressed his hips forward, pushing into hers with a languid passion. Hermione almost gasped at the delightful friction through the layers of clothes. God, she wanted him more than she'd ever wanted him before. The worst part was that he could tell. And he was enjoying it.
"A little hot and bothered, are we, Hermione?" He said, a flirtatious and youthful smile gracing his lips as he ground his hips into hers once more. Everything about him in this moment made the already half-formed image in her mind of how he'd been as a teenager even clearer.
"Remus," she gasped, unable to form a more coherent response. He just grinned a little broader, letting up on the torturous ministrations and allowing her to finish undoing his buttons. In a matter of seconds, his shirt was pushed off his shoulders, falling to the ground. Next, she snaked her hand down to the waistband of his trousers, undoing them quickly. He assisted her in shucking them off, laughing as he proceeded to undo the button of her own jeans.
She raised her hips, allowing him to pull her pants and knickers over her legs, throwing them onto the floor. He kissed her then. It was a kiss filled with such a whirlwind of emotions that she could barely catch them all. One thing was for certain, though: he was worried.
"What is it?" she asked, reaching a hand to run across the side of his face and his hair. In the dim candlelight she thought he looked more handsome than ever before.
"I don't want to hurt you," he muttered, his thumb lightly brushing over the skin of her shoulder.
"You won't" she responded, almost laughing. Remus Lupin hurting her was the absolute least of her worries right now. His expression told her that he still wasn't convinced, though. "I'm a werewolf, Remus," she smiled wryly, "I can take a little discomfort every once in awhile."
He nodded. After a second she felt one of his hands slip down her stomach and hips, towards her center. At the touch of his finger to her clit she was reminded of how immensely turned on she was. Her low moan must have been loud, because he was soon ginning proudly.
His head dipped down to kiss her neck and then her mouth as his finger dipped lower. She let out a deep sigh at the feel of one, and then two of his fingers inside of her while his thumb circled her clit.
Soon the pressure was too much. Remus was tipping her over an edge that she was already precariously perched on. She bit into her lip to keep from screaming when her orgasm finally hit, an indomitable wave of hot pleasure. Remus' fingers worked expertly, riding out her climax with slow ministrations.
Hermione was left gasping beneath him, her head tipped back and a languid smile breaking across her lips. He was quick to pounce on her mouth again, kissing with a hunger that was new and desperate.
"Hermione," he mumbled reverently, breaking away from her mouth to kiss down to her breasts and then back up again, "want you so bad."
She was regaining her footing, but the desire was still there. She wanted him badly. "I'm ready."
His green eyes met hers, and she could see a glint of deep, perilous darkness there. He was beautiful. She wanted all of him, all of this.
He aligned his erection up against her entrance, and she could feel it there. His cock was big, bigger than it had ever seemed. She tensed up, but quickly reminded herself of what Ginny had instructed her earlier.
You have to relax. Don't be tense. Just relax.
With a nod, Hermione told him she was ready. He kissed her forehead sweetly, and then her lips, as if anticipating the discomfort for her. Then he pushed forward.
It was uncomfortable at first, and she had to remind herself to breathe, but then it got better.
"Fuck," he whispered, his eyes closed above her. He was waiting, and she could see how fragile his composure was right now as he resisted the urge to move wildly. It made her feel oddly, incredibly desirable. She felt a great burst of excitement and happiness mix with the overwhelming lust, drowning out any pain or discomfort.
He started moving slowly, almost rocking, back and forth. His breaths were short and cut, and when his eyes finally fluttered open and met hers the dark lust within them was even more treacherous than before.
Eventually all traces of discomfort at the intrusion faded away. Hermione started to really, deeply feel him. He felt divine inside of her. She felt complete and wonderfully filled and she knew that she was leaning over the edge again, falling toward that blinding wave of pleasure.
His thrusts became more steady and practiced, but his breathing was still erratic. "You feel-" he gasped, "you feel amazing, Hermione. Merlin. I'm not going to last long like this."
She reveled in those words, finding the strength within her to wrap her legs tightly around his waist, pulling him in closer. His movements immediately became more erratic. They were both getting close.
"Come with me," he whispered raggedly, his face nearly pressing into the nape of her neck. As he said this, one hand moved down to her center, grinding against her clit. She pressed up into him, and knew that they were just about as close as they could ever get to each other.
That was enough to push her over the edge. She cried out, clutching his shoulders and allowing him to thrust erratically into her. He grunted as he came, her name spilling over his lips many times, along with a dozen curses and praises to the gods.
The only coherent thought in her mind was that yes, she was definitely in love with him.
Remus was soon pressing tightly against her, with both his hips and the rest of his body. She tightened her arms around his shoulders, pressing her face into the nape of his neck while he did the same to her. He sloppily kissed the side of her face, still murmuring her name and moving slowly.
When he finally stilled he collapsed on top of her. Their chests were mashed together, the pressure of his weight weighing down on Hermione as she tried to slow her racing heart. Realizing that she was trapped beneath him, Remus rolled over, pulling out in one fluid motion. She could really feel the wetness now that he was no longer inside of her, but she chose to ignore the slightly uncomfortable fluids. Remus didn't seem to care, so neither would she.
He wrapped an arm around her waist, pulling her closer and kissing her temple. She turned to face him at her side, smiling with something akin to awe.
"You okay?" he asked, chuckling.
"Yeah," she breathed, letting out a huff of happy laughter and nodding quickly, "that was amazing."
"Hmm," he twisted his lips, "I disagree. It was actually rather mind-blowing for me."
"Really," she raised a brow skeptically, "mind-blowing sex on my first try? I don't know if I can believe that."
"You'd better believe it," he responded instantly, kissing her lips. After a long, drawn-out kiss, he pulled back, his head falling onto the pillow and his gaze shifting up to the ceiling. "I've always heard people say that werewolves are extremely compatible sexual partners, but for some reason I never believed it until now."
So this isn't what it's like for everyone? Hermione wasn't going to complain; it seemed like she'd gotten quite a good deal out of the whole werewolf thing.
She was suddenly feeling drowsy, lying against Remus' chest, their legs intertwined beneath the covers. "Tired?" he asked, noticing her drooping eyelids.
Hermione nodded. "We should sleep."
He chuckled. "I agree. Goodnight, Hermione." He punctuated these words with a tightening of his arm around her waist and another quick kiss.
"Goodnight, Remus," she mumbled back, burrowing her face between the pillow and his arm, feeling more at peace than ever before.
Author's Note: I'm quite happy at the moment because we've just hit 100,000 words (yay!) and this story is officially the most reviewed fic I have (double yay!). Leave me a review and let me know what you thought of this chapter? As always, I love hearing what you all think and what you hope to see for future chapters.