XXVI
Let It Lie
After Snape was called Hermione and Remus spent the whole day working in his lab. Hermione needed to do something, to busy herself. The past few days had been relaxing, but now she had to get back to work. Especially after that morning's events and the harsh dose of reality that Snape's departure imparted upon her.
Remus and Hermione were both distracted, however, and not much was achieved throughout the day. Most of their time in the lab was spent attempting to straighten out some possible sources of error of the old potion and to theorize how these problems could be fixed.
A knocking at the door to the lab sometime around four o'clock interrupted their work. It was Draco. He informed them stonily that Snape was back, and that Dumbledore was there as well. Before he could say anything else Remus and Hermione were rushing out of the lab and descending the great staircase.
They arrived at the bottom of the stairs just as Sirius pulled Harry and Ron from the Drawing room.
"What's going on?" Ron asked, "We were in the middle of a game of chess!"
Hermione shushed Ron. "Dumbledore's here." Behind her, Draco nodded in confirmation.
"Where were you guys?" Harry inquired, looking at Remus, Hermione, and Draco curiously.
"Working in Professor Snape's lab," Hermione answered. The boys knew that she and Remus had been doing a log of brewing lately, but they thought it was just simple potions, helping Snape with the Wolfsbane, and refilling his stock. Little did they know it was so much more.
"You lot should probably go into the kitchen," Draco murmured, arms crossed as he leaned against the staircase railing, "you're going to want to see this."
Hermione perked up, remembering that Snape was back and Dumbledore was here as well. Dumbledore's presence meant that an Order meeting had been called, and an Order meeting meant something important was happening. She followed Harry toward the large dining room, Sirius, Remus, and Ron trailing behind. Draco remained standing in the entry hall, murmuring after a moment that he was going to help his mother tend to the rose garden. Obviously the Malfoys were not welcome at the Order meeting.
Many voices floated in from the dining room. It sounded like the rest of the household was present. Hermione recognized the voices of Professor McGonagall, Mad-Eye, and Kingsley among the others.
Harry opened the door, and only when he stepped into the room did Hermione get a clear view of who was inside. She was sure her jaw dropped at the sight before her. Sitting at the dining room table, Molly Weasley fussing over them and Ginny at their side, were Luna Lovegood, Neville Longbottom, and Lavender Brown.
"L-Lavender?" Ron sputtered out, stopping dead in his tracks and forcing Sirius to walk straight into his back.
"Won-won!" Lavender nearly squealed, jumping up from her seat at the table and running towards the shocked ginger, wrapping her arms around his neck emphatically. "I was so frightened, but I'm so glad you're here now."
"Oh yes, Won-Won," George imitated, a grin plastered on his face.
"We're so glad you're here to be reunited with your lovely girlfriend." Fred's devious smile matched that of his twin.
Harry and Hermione looked at each other, barely muffling their laughter. It was no secret that Ron and Lavender's relationship had been on the rocks since before Graduation. However, Lavender appeared to be rather clueless about this fact.
"Lavender has been excited to see Ron again," Luna's said factually, watching Lavender continue to cling to her boyfriend.
"Very excited," Hermione heard Neville mumble under his breath.
Suddenly, it hit Hermione how strange it was that these three were present… just after Snape was called to Voldemort… and now Snape was standing at the other end of the table talking to Dumbledore and McGonagall, looking dour and irritated…
Sirius and Remus took their seats at the table while Hermione, Harry, and Ron greeted Luna, Neville, and Lavender.
"Let's all take a seat," Dumbledore said, addressing the whole room. Everyone quieted down at his words, ready and eager to hear the explanation of what turn of events led to this.
"Severus," Dumbledore turned to the man, still wearing his Death Eater robes, "would you care to explain?"
Snape kept a straight, stern expression. "I believe you are capable of appropriately summarizing, Albus."
Dumbledore bristled, but acquiesced. Turning to face the rest of the Order, he began to speak, "As many of you know, Severus was called early this morning to a Death Eater gathering. Voldemort has grown more desperate than ever, especially since most of the Order and Harry's close friends have disappeared into hiding. It appears that he has thus decided it is time to resort to other… attacks."
Harry was sitting stiffly in his seat beside Hermione. She watched out of the corner of her eye as he turned to Neville, Luna, and Lavender, appraising them. She did the same, wondering if they had been attacked or harmed in any way. She felt sick at the idea that Voldemort was expanding his attacks, targeting other people in this mad attempt to get to Harry. It was awful.
"Luckily, no one was hurt. Severus discovered that Lucius Malfoy located and targeted Miss Lovegood this morning and he proceeded to inform me immediately after finding out."
Hermione looked to Professor Snape. He wore the usual stoic expression, staring down at the tabletop as if it was something worth studying.
Dumbledore continued, "a few hours ago I sent Nymphadora and Alastor to retrieve Miss Lovegood from her home. After determining that Mr. Longbottom and Miss Brown were also being targeted, we sent out for them as well."
Hermione could nearly feel the torrent of thoughts passing through Harry's mind. She was sure they were thinking the same thing: how many more people would they shove away into hiding places before they actually faced this war? They couldn't keep this up forever; there were only so many rooms in the Estate.
"So there weren't any attacks?" Ron asked, his voice meek. At his side, Lavender was still hanging onto his arm.
Dumbledore shook his head. "Nymphadora and Alastor were able to work very quickly."
"What about their families?" Harry asked.
"The Death Eaters were planning to use magical signature tracking to locate their targets. They only planned to trace the signatures of Miss Lovegood, Miss Brown, and Mr. Longbottom, not their families. Now that these three are safe here at the Estate within the wards, their signatures cannot be traced. We've spoken to their parents, all of whom consented to this and decided that they felt safe remaining in their own homes."
"Will Professor Snape go back the next time he's called?" Hermione found herself asking this question before she could hesitate. Snape looked up from the table for a split second, making eye contact with her before looking away.
"Of course he will," Mad-Eye cut in, "we need a spy."
"It's dangerous," Remus spoke up, voicing Hermione's concerns, "he'll be suspected of interfering. What if he's discovered?"
Dumbledore glanced between Remus and Hermione. "Severus will return the next time he is called. I'm certain he can handle any suspicion and remain undetected."
Hermione felt her temper rising. "What if he can't? Are you willing to just throw his safety away?" She could feel the eyes of Neville, Luna, and Lavender on her. They all looked completely befuddled.
Snape glared at her sharply when she spoke, as if angry that she'd even considered being worried about his safety. God, what is wrong with everyone?
"He's saving other people," Mr. Weasley interjected, "Severus has agreed to risk his safety for the furthering of our cause in this war."
Hermione felt her rigid stance deflating. People were looking at her.
She was surprised to note that it was Harry who spoke next. "But surely this can't go on forever."
"And it won't," Snape said, speaking for the first time in several minutes. "This war will end, but until then, it is not the business of anyone here to worry about my safety." His words were sharp, and suddenly he stood from his chair, stalking out of the room with one last irritated glare at Hermione.
Hermione wanted to scream at Snape. He could be such a bloody prat sometimes. Why did she even bother trying to be nice to him when he was going to act like that? She slumped back in her chair.
The room was silent for a beat before Dumbledore called their attention again. "Severus consented to this risk. He understood the possible consequences, and it appears that the mission was successful. Nymphadora and Alastor had no encounters with Death Eaters, and left no traces of their interference." His tone left an impression of finality; this conversation was over. Hermione felt very, very angry with Dumbledore at that moment. She crossed her arms tightly and tried to think calm thoughts.
Dumbledore ended the impromptu meeting not long after this. Tension hung heavy in the air as he explained that Neville, Luna, and Lavender would be staying at the Estate until conditions outside improved and that Snape would continue to report any plans the Death Eaters or Voldemort made.
After the meeting ended, Hermione followed Harry as he led them into the drawing room. A conversation needed to take place, and she knew Harry was planning on it once they had some privacy. Ginny, Ron, the twins, Neville, Luna, and – to Ron's apparent dismay – Lavender came along as well.
The drawing room was ominously quiet for a long moment until Neville shut the door behind him. Hermione put up a quick silencing charm, turning to Harry.
"So you guys weren't hurt or anything?" Harry asked, looking to the three newest additions of the household.
All three shook their heads.
"Can I ask something?" Neville's voice was meek and rather quiet.
"Of course, Neville," Ginny replied.
He spoke slowly, as if considering his words with great caution, "No one actually told us where we are… Whose house is this? And why did we see Draco Malfoy when we were walking in?"
"This is Professor Snape's house," Hermione explained, "it was his mother's family's, it's called the Prince Estate. Draco was here because he and his mother, Narcissa, came into hiding with us."
Neville and Lavender looked alarmed. Luna simply wore an expression of sympathetic understanding.
"B-but, Malfoy's a Slytherin," Lavender sputtered.
Luna spoke up, for the first time in several moments. "My father always said that times of war and strife bring forth the most unlikely friendships, even Slytherin to Gryffindor. Just look at how Hermione defended Professor Snape."
Hermione smiled thankfully at the blonde Ravenclaw, feeling only slightly embarrassed about her adamant defense of Snape.
The discussion essentially ended there. Hermione knew that she needed to speak with Harry later, and she would definitely make sure he spoke to Sirius and Remus about this as well. But for now, they all needed a break. Hermione removed her silencing charm from the doorway and flicked the door to the drawing room open. Surprisingly enough, Draco was standing there, Remus and Sirius a few feet behind him.
"I told them they just had to wait awhile," Draco said pompously, slipping past Hermione and plopping down onto one of the armchairs. Fred and George immediately struck up a conversation with him about one of their WWW products. Apparently Draco was quite interested in the business, and the twins had always liked having some sort of consultation. Lavender and Neville watched Draco's casual demeanor closely.
"Good job back there." A pat on her shoulder drew Hermione out of her assessment of the rest of the room. It was Sirius. She turned to see both him and Remus standing before her in the doorway.
"Thanks," she muttered, giving Sirius her best smile. "I think you ought to speak to Harry about it, though."
"Just what I was about to do, love," Sirius chirped, flashing her a smile before setting off towards Harry, Ron, and Ginny, who sat by the fire.
Hermione was alone with Remus now. She longed to reach out and touch him, grasp his hand or lean her head against his shoulder. But she couldn't.
"Let's sit," Remus spoke suddenly, placing the lightest of touches on the small of her back in a motion to lead her into the room. They sat down at the couch, near Neville and Luna, joining the conversation. While Neville and Luna both looked rather curious at the fact that Professor Lupin was casually sitting there beside Hermione, they warmed up to him quickly. Remus asked Neville and Luna about what they'd been doing since school had ended, how the outside world was these days. The conversation lasted late into the night.
The sun had set about an hour ago and most of the house had grown quiet. Hermione enjoyed this time in the evening, especially when she and Remus had the library to themselves like they did tonight. Some of the others were in the drawing room a few doors down, chatting and catching up with the newest arrivals at the Estate. The library, however, was left to Hermione and Remus alone. Hermione planned on a nice evening spent with a few relaxing books to read late into the night. All she needed to make the evening perfect was a hot cup of tea.
It was with this in mind that Hermione slipped out of the library and made her way towards the kitchen. When she arrived in the kitchen, she spotted the familiar bright pink hair of Tonks as she stood beside the counter.
"Wotcher, Hermione," Tonks greeted, a cheery smile on her face. "You here for tea as well?"
Hermione nodded, spotting the kettle that was slowly heating up as Tonks made herself tea.
"I'll pour you a cup," Tonks said, grabbing another mug from the cupboard next to her.
"Thank you." Hermione stood on the opposite end of the kitchen, leaning up against a cupboard.
"So how's Remus?" Tonks asked conversationally.
The question sounded innocent, but if there was any deeper meaning behind it Hermione was sure her sputtering "Wh-what?" gave Tonks a reason for suspicion.
The Metamorphmagus chuckled, "No need to freak out. I was just wondering. I promise I won't tell anyone." With these words, she winked.
"Y-you know?" Hermione asked, her brows knitting together in confusion and concern. The kettle was starting to whistle faintly.
She nodded. "I'm an Auror, Hermione. Plus, Remus' bedroom is only across the hall from mine."
Hermione felt her face flame.
Tonks continued, "It's obvious that you two have grown closer. I figured out that it might be a little something more a few nights ago when I saw you leaving his room."
Hermione winced, internally chiding herself for not being more careful. The thing that surprised her the most about this moment was Tonks' amused smile. She didn't look suspicious or angry. "You're okay with it?" she asked after a moment.
The kettle's whistling had taken on a new, more offensive pitch. Tonks turned and pulled it off the old stove, pouring for a moment before handing Hermione a steaming mug. "Of course I'm okay with it. You thought I wouldn't be? It's not like you're his student anymore, and I know Remus well enough to know that this must have started after you graduated."
"Of course," Hermione interjected, feeling the pressing need to assure Tonks that they had never been in a relationship while she was his student. Tonks smiled warmly, and Hermione had the strangest feeling that Tonks was happy for her and Remus. "I- I thought…" Hermione struggled to piece the words together, "I thought you and Remus…"
"Me and Remus?" Tonks asked, genuine surprise in her tone. "Why?"
Hermione fumbled with the mug in her hand, fingers tracing the rim and tapping the sides. "I just- you used to flirt with him a bit and I thought…" Hermione laughed slightly as she said this, realizing how ridiculous this sounded.
Tonks joined her in laughter. "I'm sorry, Hermione. I had no idea I was doing that. I flirt with everyone, or… most people, at least. Merlin, you must have thought I was trying to steal him from you!"
Hermione laughed nervously, letting on but not actually admitting that she had been thinking that. "It all seems very petty of me when I look back at it," she murmured, staring down into her steaming tea.
"I'm sure any woman would feel at least a little bit threatened. I'm sorry I flirted."
Hermione shook her head. "It's fine, really."
Tonks stepped closer, lowering her voice. "If you want to know what I think, though, Remus would never even consider another woman while he's with you. You should see the way he looks at you sometimes. Like you're the most amazing person to ever walk this earth."
Hermione felt a blush rise in her cheeks. "Really?"
"Of course," Tonks affirmed. "Now," she took a deep breath, collecting her mug of tea, "I should leave you to get back to him. He's probably wondering what's kept you so long."
Tonks exited the kitchen, smiling cheerfully at Hermione once more over her shoulder. Hermione went back to the library a few moments later, relieved that things had gone so well. She wondered if it was possible that everyone would react to their relationship like Tonks had.
They could only hope.
It was long past midnight. Remus' bedroom was darkened and silent. The only noise was a soft, deep breathing to Remus' left.
Remus was conflicted. Calling this anything else would be a gross understatement. His eyes fell on Hermione's slumbering form, his chest tight with all the adverse emotions he was feeling.
She was sound asleep. He would probably have to wake her up in a few hours and send her back to her room. It was just a little after midnight. The moon hung high in the sky, its light cascading through the window, casting itself onto the two naked bodies.
Over the past several days Remus had tried to reconcile his relationship with Hermione in at least a hundred different ways. He worried about what was going on between them often. Whenever he was with her his doubt and worry usually faded, but it typically came back as soon as he was alone or around the other members of the house.
Just this past evening at dinner he'd found himself sitting next to Hermione. She'd smiled at him warmly and he'd brushed his fingers against hers briefly under the table. Immediately after he regretted it, looking up at the people surrounding him. He couldn't imagine what Molly or Arthur would say if they found out. He couldn't imagine the looks he would get – disgust and outrage and loathing and everything in between.
The other day they'd worked in the greenhouse together for a long time, tending to the plants and enjoying their time together in the light of day (something they'd barely ever had any of). Remus found that during that hour or two sitting in the greenhouse he'd been happier than ever. She made him happy, and it wasn't just because of the fact that they both had these odd calming effects on each other.
He'd hugged her and kissed her in the greenhouse, receiving the most brilliant smile from her as she wrapped her arms around his neck and flirted laughingly. It had been happy. She was the closest thing to happiness that he'd ever imagined getting in his life.
He didn't know why, in particular, she had become so special to him. There were many possible reasons for his attraction to her. He could hear them in his head, as if Molly Weasley or Albus or Minerva were rattling them off chidingly. He only wanted her because she was young and pretty and naïve and he could take advantage of her. He only wanted her because she paid him attention, because she wanted him. He only wanted her because he liked the idea of her. He only wanted her because she was a werewolf and he felt bad for changing her.
Remus was sat up against the headboard, the duvet pulled up to his waist and a pillow under his back. Hermione was sprawled out on her stomach, limbs spread wide under the covers, one arm draped across Remus' lap. Her head was turned in his direction. She looked even younger in sleep. It made Remus feel old and terrible.
He leaned his head backwards, staring up at the ceiling and swallowing dryly. Was he a terrible person? Was he a lecherous old man taking advantage of a young girl with a crush? It certainly felt like it right now.
If anyone were to walk into his room at this moment they'd find the two of them, naked and in bed together, Hermione asleep and unknowing of what was going on around her. Remus would certainly be kicked out of the Estate in an instant. Dumbledore would give him one of those lectures of disapproval. Molly would probably scream at him. Harry would look horrified. Hermione and Sirius would likely defend him, and Ginny as well.
But he'd still be the older man who took advantage of his younger student. Sure, she was nearly nineteen and he'd prevented anything sexual from happening until she was no longer his student, but that wouldn't stop the speculation.
Molly would probably want to contact Hermione's parents. Remus grimaced at the thought of having to speak to Hermione's father, a man probably closer in age to himself than he was to Hermione. He'd met Hermione's parents on the day of Graduation and already felt dreadful without them even knowing a thing.
Remus rubbed his face with his hands, trying to will all of these thoughts away. His movement must have woken Hermione, because she began to stir. He watched her shift under the blankets, her bare shoulder with its long, white scar coming into view. He'd given that scar to her. He wondered if he would ever stop hating himself for it.
She opened her eyes finally. "Why are you awake?" she murmured groggily.
"Just thinking," he replied.
She shifted, reaching out a hand to grasp his, entwining their fingers. "You look upset."
Remus glanced once more at the long scar on her shoulder. She saw him looking and squeezed his hand, gazing up at him with such open, painful earnestness. "Is this what you're upset about?" she motioned to the scar on her shoulder. "Nobody could ever possibly blame you for this, Remus. Nobody who knew you and understood the situation could blame you for any of this."
He had a feeling she wasn't only talking about the scar.
There was a long break of silence before Hermione spoke again. "There's a war going on. We have to survive it, and if this is how we chose to survive it, then let it be." Her insight into what he was worried about was shocking. "Let yourself be happy."
He sighed deeply and sank from his seated position so that he was lying beside her. Now eye-level with her, he focused deeply on her kind, confident face. "You do realize how frightening this is for me, right?" he asked, lifting a hand to pull some hair away from her face. "You're so young, Hermione, and you were my student. You realize why that scares me, right?"
"I know," she said, almost wearily, "it's terrifying because you know what people would say and a part of you wonders if it's true."
He was taken aback by how acutely she seemed to know his thoughts.
"It's not true," she breathed, shifting towards him and pressing her forehead against his chest, "and nothing else matters at all except winning this war, and trying to make our lives meaningful while we wait for it all to end."
He wrapped his arms around her bare back, pulling her closer against him. Her hair tickled his chin as she nested her head in the crook of his neck. He simply held her like that for a long time.
It was on that night that Remus decided he wasn't going to try and reconcile this anymore. He was just going to let it lie and be happy and make her happy. There was no use in worrying about anything else anymore. He only wanted to win this war and to make Hermione Granger happy, and something deep inside told him that Hermione's happiness was all he would ever need to be happy as well.
It would be okay. The sun would rise in a few hours and it would all be okay.
Author's Note: Sorry for the delay on this one, but I had a very busy week and this was a tough chapter to finish. Anyway, thanks so much for getting us past 400 reviews on the last chapter! I'm constantly in awe of how wonderful all of you are. What did everyone think about the arrival of Neville, Luna, and Lavender?