ML54: Well, here I am with more of the zombie madness!
Twilight: ...Wow, I think that's the first time the word zombie has been used here!
Rainbow: ...
Twilight: ...I miss how she'd call me an egghead...
ML54: I do not own MLP or zombies! ...I don't know who has the creative lisence for zombies...
Paired Up For The Worst
"Most ponies stop lookin' fer monsters under their bed...Only ta realise tha monsters were inside 'em all alon'."
Five Weeks After The Fall Of Ponyville
Big Macintosh's POV
Sweet Apple Acres
Ah stood guard over Rainbow Dash as Ah have done ever since Fluttershy looked 'er over, a hoof-gun ready.
Flutters had said that Rainbow had lost a bit of blood from tha open wound. Ah had cursed maself fer not thinkin' ta close tha wound before racin' ahead o' everypony. Guess Ah jus' wasn't thinkin' clearly enough.
Ah was confident in mah plan ta cut tha bite off. It seems like it's tha bite that turns ya inta one o' those monsters, so cuttin' it off seemed like tha solution. Ah jus' sorta forgot that we weren't properly equipped ta handle such a big medical emergency. Tha farm had first aid kits here an' there with disinfectant and gauze wrap in case somepony took a spill an' cut themselves on somethin'. But it seemed pretty minor when dealin' wit' a missin' limb.
A felt a shufflin' besides me an' turned ta see little Scootaloo restin'. She, like me, had decided ta stay here ta see if'n Rainbow would make it. Tha filly idolises that mare an' would be crushed if anythin' were ta happen ta her.
Ah don't really know how she came ta rest upon me, but Ah ain't gonna move or disturb 'er. This is the first time this week that she seemed ta be sleepin' relatively peacefully. Every other night this week she had shot straight up, screamin' 'er poor little head off.
Ah'd ask what 'er nightmares were about, but she'd always just say she didn't remember. Ah knew she was lyin' since she'd never look me in tha eye when she said it, but Ah didn't press tha issue. It t'weren't mah place ta pry.
Tha only real difference tonight was that she was restin' against me. Ah guess Ah make a pretty nifty dream catcher or somethin'.
Hey a joke! Ah haven't heard one o' them in a long time...Ah guess Ah know why really. We were sufferin'...REALLY sufferin'.
Seein' mah littlest sister Applebloom come back ta me wit' that eye-patch had me heartbroken an' angry. Angry at this world, angry at the monsters an' most of all...
...angry at maself.
Angry that Ah wasn't strong enough ta protect 'er, that Ah let 'er git hurt, angry that Ah let 'er lose somethin' that she'd never, ever git back.
She was strugglin' with tha loss o' 'er depth perception. She's not bumpin' inta things, luckily, but her practice shots wit' her hoof-gun always missed their marks by a couple o' feet. It seems she could only git a good shot out when tha targets were only three feet away...
...lungin' distance fer those things.
That's how Mr Cake got nabbed. Me an' AJ were leadin' tha Cake family, Pinkie, Fluttershy an' Bonbon back ta tha farm, since they had foals an' all, when one o' tha trotters just jumped outta tha woods surroundin' tha path an' latched onta Carrot Cake's neck.
Cup Cake gave tha twins ta Pinkie an' rushed ta help 'im, but she got jumped as well...We had no way ta save 'em, so we had ta run away. We had ta think o' tha foals, who Ah remembered had wailed ta tha sky, almost as if they could feel tha loss o' their parents.
Pinkie became their impromptu mother that day, an' thank Celestia we had 'er. She knew exactly what tha two liked an' disliked, how ta feed 'em, change 'em, play wit' em just tha way they like.
Once Ah was sure that Rainbow would pull though Ah will be spendin' every ounce o' spare time Ah had in helpin' Applebloom wit' her aim. Ah will not allow one o' those...Things...ta git ta mah sister if'n it's tha last thin' Ah do.
Ah heard shufflin' again an' a pained whimper. Ah thought, maybe, it came from Rainbow but as Ah looked over, she seemed eerily quiet an' still.
Confused, Ah looked down an' found that it was Scootaloo who had started ta shiver an' cry. Ah listened closely an' could hear her mumblin' in her sleep. Good, this was as good a chance as any ta find out what her nightmares 'ave been about.
"Don't go...Please...Don't go..." She kept sayin', much ta mah confusion. Who? Who shouldn't go? An' go where exactly? Ah examined 'er a little closer an' noticed a few tears spillin' outta 'er eyes. "Mommy...Don't go! Don't leave me!"
Her mother? Why would her mother leave her...? Unless...
...she's an orphan. Even before all o' this.
But she never had night terrors like this before when she slept over wit' Applebloom, so why is this comin' about now...?
Oh right, Rainbow.
Her subconscious must o' brought 'er mother up because she thinks she's losin' some else who's important ta her. A common occurrence if Ah ever done seen one because...Well Ah was havin' tha same problem.
When Applebloom was missin' mah World just stopped. We had no way o' gettin' ta her an' fer all we knew, she coulda already been dead...Mah dreams just kept fillin' wit' memories o' her growin' up. Her first word was especially heartbreakin' since her first word was 'Mac'.
They were never nightmares per say, but it made wakin' up from them all tha more soul wrenchin' since she wasn't there when Ah did.
"She lost her parents about three years ago..." A heard a weak voice say from across tha room. Ah looked up an' saw that Rainbow Dash was awake, smilin' an' gazin' upon tha little orange Pegasus. "...they were both on a business trip in Canterlot, but on the ride back the train lurched off the rails and the car they were in fell over...they were found two hours later but the glass from the windows had hit their main arteries and dug into most of their internal organs...they had died on impact..."
"Yer alive..." Ah replied, a shocked expression on mah face. After a week o' bein' unconscious, most ponies thought she didn't have much hope. Me an' Scootaloo were two o' tha only one's who were determined she'd make it.
She didn't disappoint.
"Yeah...I'm as surprised as you are...A little thirsty though..." She replied, coughin' a bit.
Ah carefully hefted maself up, pickin' tha filly up onta mah back as Ah did, an' made mah way over ta her, a canteen o' water hung around mah neck. Ah manoeuvred it carefully as ta not disturb Scootaloo, and unscrewed tha cap wit' mah teeth, holdin' it in one hoof.
Ah gave it ta Rainbow, who drained tha whole thin' with a gluttonous rage, wantin' ta moisten her throat ta start talkin' Ah suppose.
Tha first thin' she said as she lowered tha canteen was. "How's Scootaloo?"
Ah turned mah head ta see that tha filly seemed ta be shakin' outta 'er night terror an' 'er eyes squintin' open. "Why don'tcha ask 'er yerself?" Ah said, movin' mah neck over ta see Scootaloo lookin' at me, quizzically. "Somepony wants ta talk ta ya..." Ah said, moving mah head under her an' depositin' her in front of tha other Pegasus.
Scootaloo looked up an' 'er breath seemed ta hitch when she saw her idol lookin' down on 'er, smilin', comfortingly. Her eyes teared up as she launched 'erself up onta tha hay bale an' into Rainbow's open hooves.
Looks like we had a fightin' chance after all...
Sunrise
Ah rose up from tha first wink o' sleep Ah managed ta git since this whole mess started an' was kinda startled ta what Ah woke up to.
Scootaloo was in Rainbow Dash's embraced, Rainbow curled around tha younger Pegasus like a cat, covering 'er with 'er multicoloured tail...
That much Ah expected, what Ah didn't expect was that Ah was wrapped around Rainbow in very much tha same manner! How in tarnation did that happen?!
Rainbow mumbled, flapping her remainin' wing as if a pressure had been suddenly removed an', ta mah embarrassment, found out that Ah was said missin' pressure.
Ah shook tha thought from mah head an exited tha barn, needin' a bit o' time ta try an' remember how Ah woulda gotten inta that position last night.
Unfortunately Ah don't think Ah'm gonna be alone since Ah head a childish giggle and a pink head with a pair of baby blue eyes suddenly appeared in mah line o' sight.
Ah jumped back at first, reachin' fer mah gun in case it were one o' them trotters, but Ah lowered mah hoof when Ah jus' realised it was Pinkie, the twins on 'er back. "Aww! You and Rainbow seemed to be comfy in there!"
Ah shook mah head in an effort ta dispel this rumour before mah actual crush spread it around like wildfire. "Nah, it ain't anythin' like that! She jus'...She was jus' cold last night since she lost that blood so me an' Scoots wanted ta warm 'er up!" Pinkie just smirked, evilly, about ta bounce away.
"Okie Doki Loki!" Ah quickly grabbed 'er shoulder an' looked 'er right in tha eye.
"Pinkie promise me ya won't tell nopony about this!" Pinkie flinched a bit, knowin' Ah had 'er there. She'd never refuse ta keep somethin' private.
"Oh fine, cross my hooves, hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!" She said, going through all the motions, somehow not disturbin' tha babies on 'er back. "Now c'mon cousin! Everyone's got a meetin' to attend.
…
…
…
"...cousin?!" Ah yelped after a long pause. Pinkie stopped jus' as she was goin' ta leave an' turned ta me, confused.
"You didn't know? My great, great grandmother was your great, great grandmother's sister, as it turns out!" She told me cheerfully, seemin' ta not notice mah world seem ta crumble around me. "Isn't this great!"
"Yeah...great..." Ah replied, lookin' away from 'er. How could this happen?! Tha one time Ah take a genuine interest in a pony an' she turns out ta be mah cousin!
Ah saw her mane deflate a bit, seein' mah sour mood. "Are you okay?" Ah nodded. "Are you sure?" Ah nodded again. "Really sure?"
"Ah'm fine Pinkie!" Ah forced with a glare, causin' 'er ta cease all questions. Even Pinkie knew not ta git me riled up.
"Okie Doki Loki!" She said, 'er mane poofin' back up an' 'er smile back on 'er face...That beautiful smile...STOP IT MAC! "I guess I'm just surprised Soarin hadn't told you yet! He showed me the family tree and everything!"
Soarin knew! An he didn't tell me! He's gonna have a lot ta answer for! "Hey, where are you going?"
Ah ignored Pinkie, probably fer tha first time ever, to find tha Pegasus, Ah thought, was mah best friend!
"Soarin!" Ah called up inta tha Ah saw his light blue coat on. What is it with Pegasi an' our trees anyway?! They can't be that comfortable or anythin'!
He glanced down at mah angry face, confused. "Hey Big Red, what's up? Angry with your pair?" Ah decided ta ignore that confusin' comment an' slammed mah back hooves inta tha bark o' tha tree, causin' him ta fall outta it with a thump.
"OW!" He yelped, glarin' up at me. "If ya wanted to talk face-to-face you could've just said so!"
"You have some explainin' ta do!" He flinched under mah cold gaze, an' whipped round so he didn't hafta see it.
"Look! This wasn't my idea, okay! I think love should be free to establish itself without any outside interference, but what was I supposed to do! They raised good points and we could be the last ones left in Equestria for all we know!"
…
…
…
"...What has that got ta do with Pinkie bein' mah cousin?" Ah asked, raisin' an eyebrow. Ah had NO idea what he was talkin' about right now.
"O-oh! That's what you're angry about!" Soarin said in realisation, before whimperin' an' hidin' behind his hooves in fear. "Sorry I just...well...I didn't want to...hurt you..."
"Well ya did!" Ah exclaimed, stampin' mah hoof. "Yer mah best friend! Ah should be able ta trust ya ta tell me these things! Ya told Pinkie alright! Do ya know how humiliatin' it woulda been if'n Ah asked 'er out an' she shot me down an' called me a creep?!"
"Aw man...I suck, don't I..." Ah heard him sigh an' raise onta his hooves. "I'm really sorry buddy, really I am! I was going to tell and, well, Pinkie found the family tree in my saddlebag when I handed it over! Her finding out was a complete accident!"
Ah sighed an' lowered mah glare. Ah couldn't be too angry, after all he did bring tha family tree so Ah guess he was goin' ta tell me. Ah shook mah head, but Ah still punched him in the stomach, causin' him ta grunt in pain as the air left his lungs.
Ah grinned at his look. "Now we're even..." He sighed an' nodded, jus' assumin' he deserved it. "Now what was this thin' you were talkin' about?"
Ah stared at the pictures on tha wall in disbelief as Soarin stood by mah side, lookin' kind o' ticked off an' slightly happy at tha same time.
On tha wall o' tha barn, was a Pedigree Chart!
"Whose stupid idea was this?!" Soarin sighed an' motioned ta tha Bicorn...
...that seems somewhat typical an' yet it makes me feel racist ta think that.
"He brought it up as a last resort in case we can't find a way to the Crystal Empire, to try and rebuild a society here. And once Princess Twilight agreed, it became a contingency plan."
"But...Ah'm paired up with two mares!" He grinned an' nudged me in tha ribs.
"He wants all of the Elements of Harmony to pass of their characteristics to the next generation and, believe or not, the girls slightly outnumber the guys here. He figured your genes would build the stronger offspring." Ah felt mah eye twitch a little. Is Blitzkrieg talkin' about this as if we were dogs or somethin'?!
"Okay Ah understand that much...But how many times do me an' Flutters gotta say that we don't have feelings fer each other!" Ah exclaimed, pointin' ta tha photos o' me and Fluttershy with a line connectin' 'em.
"...Mac it's a Pedigree Chart. Feeling's rarely come into it. All Blitzkrieg really...well wants is a strong word...needs is for the two of you to...breed..." Ah felt mah skin crawl slightly. It ain't that Fluttershy isn't cute or anythin', in fact Ah woulda asked 'er out if'n we weren't already great friends but...makin' love jus' ta make a baby doesn't sit right be me.
"I just got kind of lucky I got paired with someone I already had feelings for." Soarin said, shruggin'.
Ah grunted as Ah looked at tha line connectin' Soarin ta AJ. Now Ah don't gotta problem wit' that arrangement since Soarin is probably tha only guy alive Ah trust ta look after an' love AJ fer who she is...But Blitzkrieg is basically forcin' together like this.
"But it kinda looks like I should ask her out soon." Ah glanced at tha blushin' stallion besides me. "I want her to know I love her for her, not because the chart said I should."
Ah smiled at him. He truly is a romantic deep down. Ah, however, dropped that smile an' stared at tha other mare Ah was paired with...
...Rainbow Dash.
"Yeah, Blitzkrieg really thought hard on that one." Soarin said, noticin' mah look. "He said that, since she could do a Sonic Rainboom, that she should be paired up with someone else who could give that child the strength that she has to do it. He almost paired her with me, before I moved my photo away. I had to convince him to pair me up with AJ."
Ah glanced at him as he continued. "I figured, with your muscles and strength, with her reflexes and agility, you two could create some kind of super athlete."
"...Ah don't think that's how it works..." Ah sighed, lookin' over tha other pairings.
Twilight was paired up with that Flash fellow...Ah don't know why, but Ah jus' let it go.
Miss Rarity was paired up next ta Thunderlane...Again, Ah don't really know why?
Blitzkrieg paired himself next ta Lyra an' Bonbon. Ah guess he paired up wit' two as well...or maybe tha two o' 'em decided ta do this together? Tha image o' tha two mares kissin' an' doin' other things appeared in mah head before Ah shook 'em away. They were uncomfortably arousin'.
But tha list didn't stop there, oh no, it started getting' a little controversial when tha kids were on tha list!
That's probably mah biggest problem with this thing! Those kids are only just hittin' puberty! This ain't gonna do much fer their minds!
Sweetie Belle was paired up wit' Pipsqueak an' Featherweight! Ah can't imagine Rarity bein' too happy that her little sister was gonna have two mates!
Scootaloo was paired up with Rumble, which made sense but it's still kinda sick.
An' then mah littlest sister was paired up with Spike...tha dragon?
"Um...Why's AB paired up with a dragon?" Ah asked, before realisin' how racist that musta sounded an' decided ta reword mah question fer Soarin. "Ah mean, can dragons an' ponies even breed?"
"Oh yeah." Soarin answered, turnin' ta me. "Dragon's can breed with pretty much anything! It's kind of weird, but they create all new species by doing it! It's actually kind of cool! Apparently if a dragon breeds with a pony, the pony will give birth to something called a Kirin!"
"...I thought that was a myth?" Ah heard from behind me. Ah turned ta see little Spike lookin' up at us, confused. "And why are you guys talking about them, anyway?...Is that a Pedigree Chart?"
"Yup, afraid yer not with Rarity though. Sorry little guy." Ah said, rememberin' mah sister mentionin' tha dragon was head over hooves fer said Unicorn.
He nodded, seemingly unfazed by such a revelation. Ah was surprised since...well Ah still ain't over Pinkie being unavailable ta me since she's mah cousin...wait.
"Why ain't Pinkie on tha list?" Ah asked, curiously. Soarin shrugged.
"We just kinda assumed that she has her hooves full with the cake twins right now. Until their old enough to start entertaining themselves, she's being kept off the list." Ah nodded an' turned down ta face tha little dragon again, who was now lookin' at tha board himself.
"...Yes!" Ah heard him exclaim as quietly as he could, much ta mah shock. Did...Did he have a crush on Applebloom?! Even...
...even after 'er accident.
Ah smiled gently, pretendin' Ah didn't hear what tha dragon said. Ah know this dragon is genuinely interested if he's still interested after losing her eye. Ah mean, she's mah sister an' ta me she'll always be beautiful, but other guys wouldn't think so...
...So if Spike can look past it an' accept her fer who she is, who am Ah ta stand in his way.
...Maybe this system won't be so bad after all...
ML54: And so the shipping begins!
Twilight: ...So Blitzkrieg ships ponies?
Applejack: *sighs* please review, but please don't flame...