A/N: Here's chapter 3 guys. Not having a good night so I figured I'd go ahead and just post this. Alright here we go chapter 3.
Chapter 3: All Downhill From Here
Roxas POV
It was a Tuesday morning and one of my rare days off, I was just about to step in the shower when there was a knock on the door. With a towel wrapped around my waist I took the stairs two at a time before swinging the door open. It was Axel I had forgotten we were going out for a guys day.
Once he saw me his face heated up to a bright red.
"Um... Am... Um... Am I early?" He stammered taking a step back.
When I went to grab him he took another step back and started to fall off the porch. Reaching out he grabbed me to steady himself but instead we both fell to the ground. Axel's arm went around my waist and I landed on him my face inches from his. We both stared at each other for a long while as I sucked in my breath. Eyes closing he started leaning up as if he were going to kiss me, but he wasn't right? I wasn't about to wait to find out so instead I hopped up and quickly fled inside not even bothering to see if Axel was ok.
When I finally made it up the stairs I slammed the bathroom door open and hurried into the tub while turning the shower on cold.
I wasn't getting hard! I wasn't getting hard! I was absolutely not getting hard! Oh fucking shit I was getting hard. Thankfully the cold shower worked its magic and after about fifteen minutes I emerged cold but less excited.
Going to my bedroom I put some clothes on but when I made it back downstairs Axel wasn't there. We didn't have a guys day and I didn't mention the fall incident to Namine. She did however ask how our guys day went so I lied and told her we had a good time.
She seemed angry by this but when I asked she brushed me off saying I was crazy. Dinner was silent and awkward that night.
"Namine...?" I started as I brought in desert.
"Yes?" She asked sweetly.
"Do you not like Axel?" I questioned. The few times I'd asked him to come over for dinner Namine had pretended like she had plans and didn't eat with us.
"What makes you think that?" She asked gripping her fork so tight her knuckles turned white.
Pointing to her hand she relaxed it and smoothed her hair back. "What did he do? Was it because I took away all that precious time of yours away taking care of him?" I asked sarcastically.
"Well yes and you do know he's gay right?" She sneered.
Was this really the conversation we were going to have? Sighing I pinched the bridge of my nose and laid my fork down. And that piece of pie looked so good to.
"Yes I know he's gay. I treated him remember? Why does that bother you so much?" Stupid question Roxas! You know exactly why that bothers her!
"You're really asking me that?" She snorted. "You can't be that stupid you know exactly why!"
"I took the fucking classes! Fuck Namine what the hell do you want from me? I took those damn classes and I passed! You know that!" I screamed standing up and kicking my chair back.
"Roxas..." She started. "I'm sorry..."
"No! I'm going out for a walk." Grabbing my phone I pocketed it along with my coat and made my way outside.
I planned to go to Axel's so I made my way up the stairs. Just before I knocked on the door I heard voices. Demyx's was the loudest of all.
"You like him! Admit it! You like him!" Demyx cried.
Liked who? Where they talking about Axel liking someone? I knew I shouldn't be listening in but I couldn't stop myself.
"Shut up!" Axel shouted but it sounded half hearted.
"Admit it and I'll stop." Demyx crowed excitedly.
"Fine! Whatever I like him. A lot. But he wouldn't go for me he's straight you know that!" Axel said. They sounded like they were close to the door as if they were about to leave.
"Axel he's gay. Trust me on this. If I'm fucking gay he's gay!" That voice belonged to Riku.
I stopped listening then in fear that they might find me. I wanted to knock on the door and ask Axel if I could join them but I couldn't do it. So instead I went back across the street hopped in my car and went to the farthest cafe. After getting my black coffee I sat there and slowly sipped it allowing it to warm me.
I wasn't alone long before the door opened and in walked four people. The same four people I had just been spying on. Axel's face turned bright red when he saw me. Demyx and Zexion exchanged knowing glances while Riku just smirked. Leaning over Riku whispered something to Axel and his face heated up to even brighter red.
"Bye Ax!" Demyx giggled taking his boyfriend's hand and scurrying out of the door with Riku not far behind.
With a smile I waved the redhead over. He looked drunk as he stumbled his way over knocking chairs and almost tables to the ground. Sliding in the booth across from me he hung his head.
"I don't have a ride. They brought me here and ditched me." He whimpered.
"Oh don't worry I'll take you home." I chuckled.
We were quiet for a long time. The silence was enjoyable, Axel ordered a coffee for himself and we both basked in the silence around us. The waitress was off in the back flirting with the cook and there were no patrons inside the small cafe.
"How are things with you and Namine lately?" Axel asked.
I debated on whether or not I should tell him the truth but I knew he would know if I was lying, and besides I realized I didn't want to lie to him. With a sigh I took another long sip of my coffee before talking.
"She's pissed off because I'm friends with you." I said. "I feel like any minute she's going to say that I can't be friends with you. This isn't Junior High I'm an adult now."
"Would you stop being friends with me if she asked?" Axel questioned running his hand through his long red mane.
I didn't have an answer for that. I didn't know. I'd love to say that I wouldn't stop talking to Axel but I just didn't know. Would I? I mean Namine had been a total bitch to me lately and honestly I wasn't sure this relationship was going to last much longer. All we did was fight and all she could do was pull up the past and throw it in my face. She didn't believe I had changed when I knew I had. Those classes had worked, they had cured me.
Instead of answering him I just sat there not looking at him. There was a soft "Oh." and Axel stood up to leave.
"Wait!" I cried reaching my hand out and grabbing his wrist. "I'm sorry. I just don't know. I'm having a hard time with Namine right now. I don't think this relationship is going to last much longer..." I confessed.
"But that still doesn't answer my question." He really wasn't going to let me off the hook was he?
"No... I wouldn't let her do that. You're a really good friend Axel. I haven't been able to talk to anyone like this in a long time. I don't speak to my brother anymore and my parents only call to ask me when I'm going to marry Namine and get her pregnant." I cried.
The waitress and cook turned from their canoodling to stare at us. Chuckling he sat down again beside me with a smile.
"So you won't ditch me?" He asked. He sounded so vulnerable and sweet that I couldn't stop from reaching out and taking his hand in mine. His face heated back up to a scarlet red as he smiled at me.
"No! Of course not!" I responded when the couple finally stopped paying attention to us.
"Thanks." He whispered intertwining our fingers. His hand was so warm against mine. It felt really good, every time I tried to hold Namine's hand she would jerk it away. But if I didn't she'd complain I never held her hand. It was always a win, lose situation where I always came out the loser.
Rubbing his thumb soothingly over mine he smiled at me his toxic eyes gleaming in the florescent light. By the time I went back to my coffee it was cold, but I didn't care. The bell over the door tinkled signaling that someone had come in. Axel's eyes widened and he ripped his hand back lowering his head.
When I turned around I groaned. Namine was making her way over a tight smile on her face.
"Roxas." She whined. Her voice was like nails on a chalkboard and it made me cringe. "Please come home I'm sorry."
Her eyes flicked to Axel and I saw them narrow in disapproval. With a sigh I shook my head and said, "No. Namine go home. I'm hanging out with Axel right now. When I'm done I'm going to drop him off and then I'll be home but not before then." I growled.
"But..." She started tears gathering in her eyes.
"I'm sorry for interrupting but Roxas you should go home." He said with a forced smile.
Taking a deep breath I let it out slowly and sighed. Standing up I gathered my keys and started for the door not saying a word, as Axel followed silently behind. After we were buckled up I started off down the road. Not a word was said the whole way there. He thanked me when I pulled into the garage at my house and loped over to this apartment next door.
When Namine drove up there was a satisfied smile on her face. I ignored her for the rest of the night and slept in the guest room. The next morning I grabbed a cup of coffee got dressed and went to work.
Axel's POV
The morning dawned bright and early bringing with it a new day. After having spilled my soul out to Demyx and the others the night before I was ready to forget about it. It wasn't going to happen. There was no way that Roxas was gay, Riku was just trying to make me feel better.
We had gotten paid pretty handsomely for our last gig and were supposed to practice later today. I didn't feel up for it and I wanted to call Demyx and tell him but we had been asked to open for a pretty large band called Nightwish in a month. This could be our big break! I didn't want to ruin it by singing the wrong note.
The night before played around in my head like a broken record. I hadn't meant to take his hand but he had reacted so well to it. Gripping it back and smiling at me. That had to mean something right? When I made it home the first thing I did was call Demyx. He squealed in delight as I told him about taking Roxas hand in my own.
"He likes you Axel!" He cried.
"I doubt it. Namine came and he went home with her." I hadn't mentioned what Roxas told me about his crumbling relationship.
"Oh... I'm sorry Ax." We hung up shortly after and I tried hard to fall asleep that night but I couldn't.
All my thoughts were consumed with that head of honey colored hair and sparkling blue eyes. Even my dreams were littered with that gorgeous creature. I was ashamed to say that when I took a shower I couldn't stop touching myself imagining those dexterous fingers replacing mine or even those beautiful full pink lips wrapped around my cock and sucking.
I came moaning his name. When I finally made it back to the living room I saw Roxas standing there his hand in a fist and raised as if he were going to knock on my bedroom door. His face was bright red and after a long moment he took a step back.
"Um... I just... I uh... Came to say... I'm sorry about last night." He stuttered.
Oh no! He hadn't heard me in there had he?
"That's ok I understand. Did you guys get it worked out?" I asked trying to play it cool.
"Not really." He said with a sigh. "I couldn't go into work so I took a personal day. But I did want to let you know that Namine is going on a trip tomorrow with her family. I told her I couldn't go because of work... she'll be gone for about a week. Would you like to stay with me? I hate being alone. We have a guest room that you can sleep in if you'd like." He said his eyes not meeting mine.
Taking an involuntary step back I took a deep breath. He wanted me to stay a week with him. Alone, just the two of us. I wanted to say no because I knew he was straight, but my mouth betrayed me and answered with a yes.
"Great come over tomorrow say around two? She'll be gone by then." Roxas assured me with a smile. With that settled he crossed over and made himself comfortable on the old couch. "Make me something to eat I'm starving!" He cried as I went to the kitchen.
"What would you like?" I asked. I was really good at cooking, I had to be. My parents worked a lot so by the time I got up in the morning they weren't there. Even for dinner they weren't there always working over or going off to see friends. They never really made time for me so I had to grow up fast.
"Whatever you're having." He responded.
You. I thought but immediately shook that away. He was straight! He was straight! I tried hard to drown out thoughts of Roxas and focus on making breakfast for the two of us. It was simple, eggs with toast and orange juice to drink. But Roxas acted like I had went all out as I brought the food out.
"Namine never cooks! This looks so good! I usually eat from the vending machine for breakfast and lunch and I always have to cook supper when I'm home!" He cried reaching greedily for the plate of food.
Had I known that I would have definitely gone all out! After we ate I loaded the dishwasher and settled on the small couch beside Roxas. We watched tv together and it wasn't long before Roxas was nodding off his head coming to rest on my shoulder. He looked so uncomfortable so I settled him down on my lap and ran my fingers through his soft hair just like he had done for me in the hospital.
He stayed with me until almost dinner time. With a wave goodbye he headed next door. He said he was just going to tell Namine that he had gotten off work early. He wasn't even going to mention to her that I was staying for the week.
I felt like a mistress but I knew that I wasn't. We weren't dating and Roxas much to my misfortune wasn't gay. The day passed by slowly and finally the morning made way and then two o'clock rolled around. With my bags packed I raced next door and knocked on the door. Smoothing my hair down I tried not to appear too anxious as the door flung open and revealed my smiling blond haired beauty.
"Thanks for keeping me company this week! I took the week off, I haven't had a vacation in a while." He said.
He was so beautiful I could barely take my eyes off of him. We went out for lunch at the cafe my friends had dumped me off at. The same waitress was there and she stared at us and waggled her eyebrows at me. I wanted to tell her that yes were together but I before I could I stopped myself and ordered.
The day passed by in a blur and soon we were relaxing on Roxas' couch and drinking. We weren't really wasted but we were pretty buzzed. Roxas was getting clingy and he was slurring his words a little as was I. So when he crawled in my lap and pressed his lips against mine I was a little surprised.
I sobered up pretty fast after that and it looked as if he did to. Slowly I settled my hands on his hips. When he didn't instantly move away I leaned up and kissed him. There was no tongue just a simple meeting of lips. His eyes closed I noticed how long his honey colored lashes were as they brushed against his cheeks which were tinged a pretty pink.
Slowly he opened his eyes and I was stunned by how blue they were. They were like sparkling sapphires.
"Roxas I love you." I blurted without meaning to. "You saved me from my abusive boyfriend and you stayed with me in the hospital and even helped me get my apartment." I just kept going and couldn't stop until Roxas pressed his lips against mine again.
"Shh don't talk, just kiss me." He whispered grinding our arousals together.
Oh fuck this guy was going to kill me! Nodding I pressed my lips back against his. His fingers threaded through my hair and tugged. Gasping he took advantage to push his tongue into my mouth and tangle with my own. Namine didn't deserve him! He was so beautiful and kind, and she was just a bitch. I would treat him right! I would love and care for him!
Shifting so that I was lying on the couch I situated Roxas on top of me without breaking the kiss. My hands were still on his hips but slowly I moved them upward gauging his reaction as I did so. So far he was mewling and whimpering with every caress.
When I tried to pull his shirt off he stopped kissing back and sat back.
"What... What are you doing?" He asked. His eyes were dark and smoldering while his lips were bruised and swollen from all the kissing.
"I thought... I just... I'm sorry." I stammered. I thought he wanted this just as bad as I did. But I guess I had been wrong.
"No you're fine. I should be apologizing. I really do like you Axel a whole lot in fact. But what about Namine? What am I supposed to do about her? Then there's my family and my friends I mean what would they think?" He whispered.
Sadness and anger radiated through my body. Then why was he kissing me?
"Why did you kiss me then?" I asked.
He didn't say anything for a while. By now I was already sober and my stomach was churning. I was ready to throw up I was so sick with worry. I didn't want him to kick me out and never speak to me again. I didn't want us to stop being friends or whatever we were!
"Because I like you a lot. Probably more than I should. But I'm dating Namine..."
"I thought you said your relationship was crumbling? Why don't you just break up? I'll make you happy!" I cried as tears gathered in my eyes.
"I know you will! But Axel I'm straight... I'm straight." He kept chanting it as if that would make it all true. But how did you explain the kisses? That wasn't just a friendly kiss. "I... I... I really like you... I just need time to think."
"Yeah... Ok that's fine." I said.
That whole night I never initiated the kisses. If Roxas wanted to kiss then he would initiate it himself. I loved having that warm soft body curling up next to mine on the couch as we lazily kissed and watched tv.
When it got to be too late we headed upstairs. I had planned on departing to the guest room but Roxas had other plans.
"I don't want to sleep in the bed Namine and I share. Can I sleep with you?" He asked his blue eyes wide and innocent.
"Um... Uh... It's your house." I stammered.
"Good I'm going to!" Giggling he skipped off to the guest room peeling off clothes as he went. By the time I got there he was in nothing but his black and white checkered boxers. Jumping on the bed he reached his arms out for me. They must have got a new bed after they gave the old one to me. But why would they give the other one to me? It didn't make sense and I was just to tired to question it.
With every step closer he was practically vibrating with excitement. When I was just an inch from his outstretched arms he jumped forward wrapping himself around me. We fell on the bed in a tangle of limbs and lips.
Ridding me of my shirt was the first thing the little vixen did. "What are you doing?" I gasped as our lips found each other again.
"You don't need this to sleep silly." He giggled. His cheeks were tinged a bright pink and his eyes were hooded and filled with lust.
I allowed him to rid me of my jeans but after that I put a stop to it. He whined that he wasn't tired and didn't want to go to bed but I was. My heart was pounding and I couldn't tell if Roxas liked me or if he was stringing me along.
Bringing him into the circle of my arms we curled up on the bed and went to sleep. It was going to be a week of just Roxas and I together. I knew that by the end of it Roxas would leave Namine and that we were going to be together.
When we woke up the next morning Roxas smiled at me sleepily. His honey blond hair was wild from sleep and his lips were still bruised from our make out session the night before.
"You just going to stare or make me some breakfast?" He giggled.
"What kind of breakfast would you like?" I asked leaning over to press a kiss to his lips.
"Hmm I'm really in the mood for a sexy redhead lying next to me." He whispered.
Crawling on top of me we resumed last nights activities until the door opened. Roxas popped up his eyes wild. Rolling off me and then the bed he quickly got dressed and signaled for me to do the same.
"Roxas?" Namine called.
Face paling he let out a whimper. I hurriedly got dressed and shoved him out of the room and towards the room he shared with Namine. Namine found me first. Thankfully though I was dressed.
"What are you doing here?" She growled.
"Oh... Um Roxas invited me over for the week. He said that you were going to be on vacation with your parents so he invited me over." I answered averting my eyes.
"Roxas!" She screeched. Her eyes narrowed as Roxas made his way out of their shared room and to her.
"I thought you were going to be gone for the week." Roxas huffed as he made his way over.
"Well mom got sick and we had to come home. What is he doing here?" She cried. "I told you I don't like him! I don't like faggots at my home!"
"Namine! Shut the hell up for once would you!" His face was red with rage. Taking my hand Roxas led me downstairs and pressed a kiss to my lips. "I'll talk to you later I just have to talk to her first." He whispered.
Roxas did come talk to me later that day but not with the news I had expected.
"I told her everything..." He started tears in his eyes. "I told her about our kisses. She says that I can't see you anymore."
"But you're not going to listen to her right?" I asked hopeful.
"I'm sorry Axel. I'm not gay, I've never been gay and I will never be gay. Maybe it's just best we don't hang out anymore." He whispered.
My heart shattered right there in a million pieces as I watched the love of my life walk across the street back to his house. A month later we performed for the band Nightwish. We weren't scouted like I had hoped and soon we had a hard time even finding places to play at. Demyx had offered to stay with me for a while until I could find another place to stay at but I told him I was fine.
I wasn't fine and I knew it. I cried every night and every time I saw Roxas my heart only beat painfully in my chest. I was ready for this pain to end and I knew a way to make it happen.
I started drinking. Very heavily in fact. By the end of the day I had drank two bottles of whiskey by myself. I wanted the pain to stop and the pain did stop. I no longer thought of Roxas or what he had done to me. I stopped talking to my friends and instead I started going to clubs. I hooked up with random men every night to forget about the blond next door.
The band was falling apart at the seams and no one even cared or tried to stop it. Demyx stopped coming over to check on me and Riku stopped calling me. I kept drinking like this for about a month before the alcohol stopped dulling my pain. So I drank even more but it still didn't take the pain away.
But that was ok I always had another plan of escape. It was nothing too drastic just a bottle of sleeping pills I kept in my pocket. I knew of a nice place where I could go and no one would find me, not for a while. So when morning rolled around I dressed nicely in a pair of dark wash jeans and a green button up shirt. After slipping my shoes on I headed off to the place I had picked out.
The place was beautiful it was outside in the woods behind the apartment I used to share with my now ex boyfriend Sephiroth. It was just a small clearing in the woods, the trees had been parted letting the warm sun filter in. It was beautiful and if you were quiet enough sometimes you would see a few deers as they milled around. I parked my car about a block away from Sephiroth's got out and started my walk there.
I only carried my phone, a bottle of water and the pills in my pocket. The day was beautiful and the sun was shining bright. When I made it to the clearing I curled up on the ground and just laid there for a long while. This was permanent, once I did this there was no going back. But I didn't see any other way. I was living beside the love of my life and his bitch girlfriend, the band was failing and Roxas hated me.
With that in mind I pulled the pills out and started taking them one by one. I was halfway through the bottle before I sent a text to Zexion. I don't remember what I sent because I was so tired. I continued taking the pills until I had the bottle finished.
I was going to miss everyone but I couldn't take back what I had done now. The person I would miss the most though was Roxas. With tears in my eyes I was able to bring the phone up enough to try and send a text.
It was a simple text.
I'm sorry and I love you. I think I hit send but I couldn't have been sure as my eyes closed and everything went black.
A/N: That's the end of chapter 3. I'm going on vacation Friday to Animazement in Raleigh so you won't see anything from me this weekend so I figured I'd go ahead and post now. Alright whelp let me know what you think of chapter 3 until then peace.
xoxo Royal