A/N: It's been too long my bitches! I always get so happy when people tell me that they have joined the Bitch Brigade XD

Enjoy!

There is nothing more fucking awkward than reading a terribly written lemon.

Honestly.

It's a dreadful thing to undertake.

It's so bad…

That it's funny.

I shall demonstrate.

The Faithful First Time of the Sun and the Moon:

Garden of the forbidden fruit:

キスしたくなるような幸せな陽気な愛を愛して

Hinata was so excited! This was going to be her first time. And she was so glad that it was Naruto who was going to…going to…

Put his superman in her fortress of solitude.

Naruto finally exited to shower, beads of water trickling down his figure as if he were the God of Liquid Trickling Patterns: Water, Urine, and More.

And he was naked.

"N-Naruto," Hinata squeaked softly.

Seductively.

"I'm ready for your great, big, large due to Kyuubi's chakra, demon rod."

Naruto smirked.

Seductively.

"Hinata, I want to enter your castle."

He tackled her and they clambered none to gentle to the floor.

Of the garden.

That they are suddenly in.

"My mother," Hinata started with a shy smile, "I hope she is looking down on me…"

"Um. What?"

"Nothing, never mind."

"Right."

Naruto swooped down and kissed Hinata. Hinata, surprised by the sudden movement, slightly jumped bumping her knee gently into Naruto's abdomen.

Naruto then proceeded to vomit in her mouth, gagging her.

Hinata, almost sent into an epileptic shock due to lack of air, did not want to ruin her perfect moment with Naruto and swallowed the vomit, using it as practice for other things.

Naruto then stripped her of her panties and shoved his wand into her magic hat.

The continued sporadically moving as they lay upon each other.

Bodies smooshed together.

Suddenly Hinata reached her moment of truth.

"Naruto! It's coming!"
"Push! Hinata, push!"

"I'm almost certain that is not necess—!"

Before she could finish, Hinata's milky golden cum leaked out of her pink palace.

I'm sorry you had to endure that.

Now for all you NaruHina lovers.

We have a little cliché treat for you entitled.

Well Known NaruHina Moments by Codaram

- In almost all NaruHina fics, when Naruto first realizes he likes her, he's just thinking about her, calls her pretty internally, and does a double take like "wait, WHAT did I just say?"

-Sakura and/or Kiba getting jealous. Fuck that. Neither of them has ever shown any interest in Naruto/Hinata, and people put in that jealous shit just to add middle-school level drama. And if Naruto or Hinata actually cheats on the other with one of those two, that just makes it worse. This isn't some stupid-ass soap-opera.

-Fucking Hyuga council. Never seen them before when all the important shit goes on, but when Hinata wants to date an idiot, they're all like "awwww hell no!" I've seen them threatening to slap the cursed seal on her, kick her out of the clan, or even fucking kidnap her all the time, and it's lame.

-That could actually be one on its own. Hinata isn't retarded, and she's not gonna get kidnapped by some loser. On the other end, if the person kidnapping is someone who actually could do it, like Kabuto or Tobi or someone like that (which I have seen), why the fuck did they do that? The can get into the village without anyone noticing, and they choose to kidnap Hinata of all people. Oh, are they gonna make Naruto hurt emotionally? *rolls eyes.

-Hiashi (and sometimes Hyuga council) pulls out some stupid shit with some old Hyuga law that gives them the right to ban Hinata from picking her own suitor. Hokage is essentially a dictator, and she won't let that shit fly.

-Also, going with your 'get married before it's too late' chapter, Hiashi gives that bullshit 'you will get married to a suitor in this much time, and there's nothing you can do about it' stuff. No, just no.

-They get into each other's pants/confess their love after like two chapters. Realism is thrown out the window by that point.

-Naruto teaching Hinata the Rasengan. That's his fucking signature technique, let's keep that to himself, shall we?

A/N: Review! (If you go to the parody section and order it in order of most reviews and look past the ones in the thousands and you''ll find us! The Bitch Brigade! I should change my screen name to that...)

I just want to quickly address that if you do send me a cliche and I don't use it, it's not cause I hate you and you suck, but because I haven't seen it enough to write to best of my abilities on it and it wouldn't do you justice!

I honestly just copy and pasted that from a message she sent me after I asked her to compile it into one list which she did so wonderfully.