Chapter 2 – Shorebirds
September 22, 2010 1203hrs
It's been two days after my first training exercise on Sand Island and everyone on the base just seemed to hate me already, except for Pops, Kei, Chopper, and this enlisted guy named Hans Grimm. The five of us started hanging out together between classes and during our free time in the main aircraft hangers. Chopper usually did most of the talking but at least it was entertaining. Chopper got his degree in psychology and I had to admit, he was pretty sly. I found this out when he tricked his instructor, Baker, into cleaning up Choppers lunch tray that he dropped in the mess hall. How he did it, I'll never know.
Grimm was a replacement pilot trainee who was only an Airman 1st Class. I thought only officers could become pilots but maybe that's the way the Osean Air Force worked. His older brother was in the Army and Hans said he became a pilot because he looked up to him. I couldn't describe Hans's physique in a nice way. He was a scrawny and meek looking red headed dude that seemed like he would turn tail and piss himself at the first sign of trouble. That was my initial impression of him. He was a pretty cool guy though. The only thing that bothered me about him was that he kept calling me 'sir' when I told him not to.
Today we had to meet with all of the instructors in the crew room to go over something important. I sat in the back of the room and almost everyone sat away from me except for Kei and Chopper. Mustang, Jive, and Barney, the other three pilots that my squad faced two days ago, were sitting up front, glaring back at me and Kei. I really don't want to go through this shit again. I could hear them sneer us as they quietly talked among themselves and I couldn't take it anymore. I made a comment about how Mustang looked like a Jackass because of those big ass front teeth he had. I also commented on how I could smell Jive from where I was sitting and how Barney reminded me of the lion from Wizard of Oz (a pansy).
"You trying to start something, Blaze?" asked Jive.
"Oh, this isn't comedy hour?"
Jive stood up from his seat and turned towards me. "You know you've got a lot of balls to try and talk shit when you can't back it up. We all know that if it wasn't for her, Svenson would've bagged you," he said referring to Kei.
"That just goes to show that I have a wingman I can depend on," I said.
I could tell I hit a nerve by the scowl on Jive and his friends' faces. Jive started to walk towards me and I stood up to meet him. When he got tithing arms reach, he violently grabbed the collar of my flight suit and tried to pull me closer to him. I retaliated by yanking his hand off of my collar and twisted it. Jive grunted in pain as I glared at him. He was grunting in pain and Mustang and Barney rushed over. When they got close enough I twisted Jive's hand even harder. They knew right away that I'd hurt Jive even more if they got any closer.
"Hey, break it up!" exclaimed Svenson as he entered the room and glared at me. I let go of Jive's wrist and took my seat while him and his two friends returned to the front of the room. "It was one flight exercise and those two got lucky. There'll plenty of other opportunities to try and get back at them."
"Luck had nothing to do with it," mutter Kei under her breath.
"What was that 2nd Lieutenant Nagase," asked Svenson
"I said luck might have had a lot to do with it, sir."
"Yeah, next time you won't be so lucky. Anyways straight to business, due to the inclement weather, we haven't been able to go on any training sorties today. Also, we have a journalist that just arrived here and he's going to be shadowing us for the next few weeks. With that being said, we've selected a bunch of you to go on a training flight tomorrow so he can get an idea of how we operate out here. I've already posted the names on the bulletin board in the briefing room. From there, Captain Bartlett will brief you oh how things are going to work, any questions?"
No one said anything and Svenson dismissed us. We all got out of or seats and left the room. Some of the other nuggets in our class ran to the briefing room to check the roster. I didn't know what they were excited about because it's not like the reporter would do his article on any of the students. I took a look at the flight roster and saw that I wasn't on the list, but Kei was. I thought maybe the instructors would try to do another training sortie like we did two days ago, except this time they were trying to split up me and Kei.
At dinner, Kei told me how nervous she was about flying without me. I didn't understand why, I thought she was a terrific pilot from what I've seen. I did have some concerns about how almost two thirds of the class was going on the sortie. Did they really need that many students and instructors to try and show off for a reporter?
"You two are worrying to much; it's just another sortie to show off how awesome we are. I bet the only reason they didn't want us to come along was because that reporter doesn't want to reveal my good looks to the world just yet," said Chopper.
"Of all the places where you could write a story, why choose Sand Island? I mean it's not like there's anything unique on this base other than the view," I said.
"Yeah, he's probably using this as an excuse so that he can have a tropical island vacation with the opportunity to go flying," said Grimm
"Actually, I heard there was a very unique flying instructor stationed here," said a voice from behind. We all turned our attention to the guy who spoke and saw a light brown haired guy with blue eyes and a little bit of hair on his chin. "Sorry, my name is Albert Genette, I'm the journalist you must be talking about," he added.
"Is that the only reason? Hell, if you wanted to interview some good pilots, you should've gone to Belka. They have pilots that are twelve times better than anyone we got stationed here," said Chopper.
"Yes, I'm aware of that, but I heard Captain Bartlett served in the Belkan war and I wanted to hear his story," said Genette
We spent the rest of our meal listening to Chopper argue with Genette about why coming to Sand Island was such a stupid idea. I had to agree with Chopper but I didn't say anything. Belka had legendary fighter pilots, and their skills were unmatched only by Cipher, the mercenary pilot I looked up to. I noticed Kei was being quieter than usual and she was picking at her food which she had barely touched. Originally I thought it was because the chow here was some of the worst I had ever tasted but from what I could read from Kei's body language, she was really nervous about something.
"You okay," I asked.
"Yeah, I'm just a little nervous about flying without you tomorrow," she said with her head looking down.
I couldn't help but over think what she just said. Kei was nervous about flying without me? I was thinking that maybe Master Sergeant Russell was right about her liking me, or maybe she was still adjusting to life on Sand Island and she found comfort knowing that I was right here with her. Either way, I could tell I was starting to become important to her. I had to admit that I was starting to feel the same way about her. Yeah, Kei was very beautiful, but there was something slightly intimidating about her for some reason, though I'm not sure what it was.
"Hey," I said softly as I sunk my head low to the table, trying to look her in the eyes. "You'll be fine, you're a great pilot and everyone knows it. And besides, I doubt the instructors are going to put you all through any kind of strenuous maneuvering or anything."
"Thanks," said Kei and she smiled a little.
September 23, 2010 0940hrs Sand Island
I was in the Hangers with Pops and I couldn't believe what I was seeing. The ground crews were loading live ammo and weapons on all the planes. Was this just to show off for Genette? I thought it was S.O.P., or standard operation procedure, for all pilots in training to fly unarmed. I haven't flown with armed weapons at all. The orders came from Captain Hamilton, the adjutant base commander. He was in the hangers as well.
"Captain Hamilton," I said saluting. "2nd lieutenant Antonio Castillo,"
"Ah, lieutenant, I was wondering when I was going to meet you. I heard about how you handled your squad on your second day here, I was very impressed by that," said Hamilton.
"Thank you, sir," I replied. "Mind if I ask you something?"
"Not at all, I keep an open door policy. If you have any questions or concerns just let me know. Now what's on your mind?"
"Why is the training flight being armed? I haven't carried a single live bullet in my plane since I started my flight training at Heierlark or when I flew two days ago"
"Usually they would fly unarmed, but our actual S.O.P. requires that they do. Since we're in a time of peace, all of our base commanders don't see the need to arm nuggets so they don't bother, but since that reporter is here, his story could get us in a lot of trouble with the top brass if they knew these pilots were going up unarmed."
It made sense to me so I relaxed a little. I saw Kei getting in her plane and I rushed over to her as she was strapping herself inside her F-5. I told her that she was going to be alright and that Pops was going to let me listen in over the radio while they were in flight. I guess that cheered her up a lot because she had the biggest grin I've ever seen from her on her face.
1109hrs Hanger B
I was in the cockpit of my plane listening to Captain Bartlett yell at the nuggets to get into position over the radio. I could only imagine what Kei was thinking now that she knew I was listening to all the yelling Captain Bartlett was doing. By the way he was howling at the ground, I figured that Genette must've been having fun. It kind of made me want to laugh knowing that the Captain didn't know that I was eavesdropping on everyone. Captain Bartlett was trying to get everyone to follow his lead as he led them through a bunch of advanced fighter maneuvers when all of a sudden, the command room hailed Wardog over the radio. They called out bogeys coming from the west and ordered Captain Bartlett to make the Intercept. Why would unidentified aircraft be flying towards Cape Landers? Did these guys get lost or something?
"Baker, Svenson, go trail and stay close. The three of us will go high and engage the bandits. All other aircraft stay low and out of the fight," said Captain Bartlett.
He was going to engage them? They don't even know if they were friendly or not. I continued to listen in while I waited anxiously for the next radio transmissions. An eternity seemed to pass by before someone broke the silence with a frantic call for help. One cry turned into many and I couldn't tell what was going on. I heard a couple of their radios get cut off and I realized the unidentified aircraft were firing on them. Captain Bartlett ordered the nuggets to start their evasive maneuvers before any more of them died. I couldn't believe it; all the nuggets were being attacked by the unknown aircraft. That meant that the instructors weren't there to defend them or organize them for a counter attack. I could hear frantic calls for help and warning alarms from the cockpits of the planes that had been hit. Pops knew there was something wrong when he saw the look on my face as I continued to listen. I couldn't do anything except to sit in my cockpit and cover my mouth with one of my hands.
"Svenson, stay close to me, we're going in. Baker, help those nuggets anyway you can. All aircraft you are weapons free," shouted Captain Bartlett.
"Edge, brake left, you got a bandit on your tail," said Baker.
Oh God, not Kei. Please don't take Kei! I focused on listening to the chatter that had to deal with her. I was worried about her the most because I felt like I had lied to her when I told her everything was going to be fine. I also started to feel regret knowing what I had said to Barney and the others. If I had known that this would be the last time I saw most of the people from my class, I would've acted way differently.
"Edge, break right, NOW!" shouted Svenson and there was a brief moment of silence before he shouted at her again. "Take the shot… Now Edge, shoot!"
I could hear Kei choking up, trying to hold back her tears. I wanted to say something over the radio to comfort or encourage her, but what could I say? People were dying and she couldn't do much to stop it. I felt so helpless and it tor me up inside. All the screaming and explosions reminded me of the day my dad died. I could see those peoples' faces in my head as fire engulfed them and I wanted to reach out to try and save them. I couldn't listen anymore and threw my headset into my lap. I felt sick to my stomach and threw up over the side of my plane.
"Blaze, what's wrong," asked Pops.
I couldn't look at him and walked out of the hanger in shock. Why is this happening? I looked back to see Pops put on my headset and listen to what was going on. He was just as shocked as I was. I wanted to do something to help, but what could I do? I wanted to take my F-5 to meet the others and help fend off the enemy planes. I wanted revenge and I wanted it now. I was full of anger and rage that I punched the hanger door as hard as I could. The fact that I couldn't help the others slowly started to sink in and I tried making my way back to my room while trying my best to hold back my sorrow from everyone I passed by along the way. I was tired and I didn't know why. My back was hurting as well and I started fading in and out. I didn't know what was going on and I knew I couldn't make it to my buck before I passed out. I did manage to make it to crew room and I felt myself collapse on the couch. I was half awake as I laid there until I completely blacked out a few seconds later. No, not again.
1337hrs Crew Room
I woke up on the couch in the crew room when I heard an explosion outside. I scrambled to my feet and looked through the blinds to see an F-5 burning on the runway and I race outside to see what had happened. I ran as fast as I could to see if Kei had made it back alive. When I was outside, I ran up to one of the guys who was putting out the fire and asked if anyone else made it back. He told me that the survivors were parking their jets over by the hangers, but I only saw one F-5 parking next to some of the other aircraft that were already parked on the flight line. I ran towards them, hoping that it was Kei's plane. I saw the pilots opening their canopies and watched them get down. Captain Bartlett's F-4 was there so I knew he made it back, and then I saw Kei. Thank God she's alive. I saw her get out of her jet and she just stood there. The color was flushed from her face and I could see her trembling from the adrenaline rush she must've felt during the fight. I saw the Captain walking away and with Genette following close behind and by the look of things, the Captain was grumbling to himself. Genette on the other hand didn't seem fazed by anything that just happened and he witnessed it all happen.
"Nagase, you keep flying like that and you'll die real soon," shouted the Captain.
"I won't die, sir," she said softly.
"Are you sure? You look like you couldn't hurt a fly," he said while he threw one of his hands up and turned to walk away.
Kei brought her hand to her head and returned to looking at the ground. I saw Genette raise his camera and take a couple pictures of Kei before he walked off. I ran towards Kei and she saw me coming, but before I could get close enough to say anything to her, she walked off. I could tell she didn't want to talk about what had happened and I felt like I had let her down. I wish that I had been there. I wouldn't have hesitated to shoot down those enemy planes that attacked the training flight. I could only imagine how Kei and Genette were going to deal with today's events. Seeing the loss of human life was something that no one would ever forget, nor was it something any decent person could get used to. I just hoped that today was the end of it all.
1600hrs, crew room
We gathered in the crew room after we got ordered to report and meet our flight leads. Captain Bartlett was the only flight lead on Sand Island so all the remaining nuggets had been transferred into his group. Kei took a seat in front and to the left of me and she looked like she was still shaken up by what had happened earlier. There were only five of us left but no one really seemed all that disturbed by the loss of everyone else. Eight people were dead because of the command room's FUBAR, or fucked up beyond all reason, information they fed to the squadron. Captain Bartlett sat up in his chair and he looked like he was going to give us bad news.
"I know you don't like this, but we're short on people. Starting tomorrow all of you nuggets are gonna be sitting alert. If we launch, stay glued to me up there. Nagase," he said sharply.
"Sir"
"You're flying number two on my wing. Gotta keep an eye on you or who knows what you'll get yourself into."
I now understood what Major Pesi and the Captain yelled at her about. Kei hesitated too much when she flew and that was a fatal characteristic that could easily exploited by an enemy pilot. Even though Kei might not have had the same killer instinct that I did, I could understand how she felt. My guess was that she felt guilty over not being able to protect the others because she hesitated to put another man's life in danger, even if he was trying to do the same. Chopper reasoned along similar lines. Kei didn't say anything to anyone for the rest of the day and isolated herself in our room. I still couldn't think of anything to say to her. When I decided to turn in for the day, she was already asleep in her bunk like nothing had happened. I could see the faint marks of dried up tears along the sides of her eyes and on her pillow. I hope she can overcome all of this, she has to.
September 24, 2010 1101hrs Cape Landers
The Captain wasn't lying when he said we'd be sitting alert. We got assigned to intercept a damaged recon plane that had penetrated Osean Airspace over Cape Landers. I was damaged by Osean air defenses and was trying to egress towards the ocean. Captain Bartlett was leading the formation of me, Kei, and Chopper on an intercept course. I was flying trail position, which meant I would be the first one to get shot down if we were attacked from behind. Ironically enough, we were flying the same vector the enemy fighters from yesterday used to intercept the training flight so that put me even more on edge. Whether the others knew it or not, I had my eyes looking behind me the whole time, waiting for the enemy to show up.
"Wardog four, Hello? Can you hear me kid? You'd better be marking our tail son," shouted the Captain.
"Yes, sir," I replied.
"Looks like you're confidant at least, don't get separated from me, ok?"
"Man, I'm glad you threw the short straw instead of me," said Chopper.
"2nd Lieutenant Alvin H. Davenport, zip it! You need a nickname too?"
"I respectfully asked to be called Chopper, sir. I'm afraid I may not respond to any other moniker."
"Hmm, that does fit you well… I've got a better name for you, but I'll keep it to myself, Okay?"
While they were both arguing, I spotted a black dot in the distance and called it out to Captain Bartlett. We changed our heading to intercept the enemy recon plane. An SR-71, what country other than Osea was able to get their hands on this plane? Captain Bartlett told Chopper to give the enemy aircraft landing instructions while I kept my eye on Kei. She didn't seem too thrilled to be flying today and I guessed it was because she thought that something similar to yesterday would happen. I was really worried about her and my mind started to wander as I thought about why I was worried. Do I just really like her or am I just trying to look out for someone who seemed innocent of everything? Suddenly, our AWACS, Thunderhead, mentioned that an unknown formation was approaching from the west. We were ordered not to fire on them, but after what happened yesterday, I was ready to ignore the order. We abandoned the pursuit of the enemy recon plane and changed our heading to intercept the unknown formation. I was flying behind and to the right of Chopper with Kei flying on my right wing. I looked at both of them and started to worry that they'd hesitate if it came time to fight. My finger was poised on the trigger when we got within visual range of the enemy formation. My hopes of a nonviolent mission were shattered when my missile warning alarm went off and tracers whizzed by my canopy. This was the real thing and I wasn't going to let my fear get in the way. I rolled over the enemy formation and performed a split S to get behind one of the enemy planes.
"Heads up, they're firing on us," shouted Chopper.
"Wardog squadron, weapons safe, hold you're fire until further orders," warned Thunderhead.
You can't be serious?!
"Oh come on! Those aren't blanks they're firing out there!"
"Shut your mouth and fire back," shouted Captain Bartlett
"Captain Bartlett, this is Thunderhead. You are violating direct orders!"
"Shove it! I'm not gonna watch any more of my pilots die!"
Righteous, here we go. I latched onto one of the enemy planes that shot past me to my lower right side and chased him. His squad was flying MiG-21's, but the one thing I noticed about them was that their planes didn't have any markings on them whatsoever. Right now it didn't matter; I had to shoot him down. He pulled up into a climbing left turn in an attempt to shake me off of his tail but I lag rolled to the right and got an angle with my guns. My finger closed around the trigger and I watched my bullets impact along the side of his fuselage. His plane exploded into a brilliant fireball and tumbled into the ocean.
When I saw his plane crash, I flashed back to the day my dad died. I could hear the people screaming as I shot down another MiG-21 by pulling a seven G high yo-yo when I got behind him. He didn't see me firing as I dove on him and fired my guns into the MiG's engines. I wanted to drown out the screams of those people who died with the roar of my guns and the following explosion of an enemy plane. I felt a familiar sense of anger grip me and I welcomed the rage. My hands were shaking and I felt beads of sweat starting to form on my forehead. I was breathing heavily when I felt like my heart had somehow made its way into my throat. I imagined every single one of these enemy pilots as the person I hated the most in the world. He was the source of all my anger that I'd ever felt and I blamed him for everything that was wrong with me.
I looked for another enemy and chased him down as he turned to engage one of my allies. He tuned to look back at me and I could see those smiling green eyes looking at me. I wanted him dead and as soon as I had a lock on his plane, I sent a missile up his exhaust pipe. His plane was obliterated and the pilot didn't even have a chance to escape, not that I felt like he deserved the chance. I finally got you, you son bastard. I looked to my left and I could see another plane chasing Kei. Again, the pilot of that MiG had those green eyes.
"Come here you son of a bitch," I shouted and I opened the throttle all the way.
I quickly closed the distance on him while Kei led him through a series of hard left and right turns. I quickly made a bunch of calculations in my head to determine the best moment to attack. I hung back and waited for the enemy pilot to turn to go after her so that my missile would track him better. I had a lock and I fired my last missile but it flew past my target as he broke off his attack. I followed him through all of his twisting and turning, but it did him no good. I wasn't going to let him escape and I unloaded a barrage of cannon shells into his plane's cockpit when he tried going into a vertical climb. I could see blood covering the shattered remains of his canopy as he crashed into the ocean. I felt myself smiling for some reason and I watched as the others from my group started to fight back against this unknown enemy. Kei wasn't hesitating any more, Bartlett was flying as aggressively as I was, and Chopper was having a hard time keeping a target in his sights.
Suddenly, my missile warning went off. I looked over my left shoulder and saw it coming. I broke hard right and the missile passed right under me. I wasn't going to let him get away with that. I cut the throttle and barrel rolled over him just like I did to Major Pesi. The next thing I knew, he was a flaming wreck hurtling towards the water. My adrenaline was rushing as I frantically searched for another enemy pilot to kill. I wanted more and I felt like I would fight forever if I had too, but the skies were clear of all enemies. I wasn't paying attention to what was being said on the radio until Thunderhead spoke up.
"All unknown bogey aircraft shot down," said Thunderhead.
"You all alive," asked Captain Bartlett as everyone flew into formation around me. "Alright, nice work nuggets, Wardog four, you still follow us? Well to commemorate the fact that we all made it out of that battle alive, I'm going to let you keep your nickname. From now on I'm going to call you 'Kid' no matter what. Got it? Good"
The flight back to Sand Island was quiet. My hands were still shaking when we landed and I couldn't get them to stop. Kei parked her plane next to mine and I could see her looking at me from the corner of my eye after I took off my helmet. I was still breathing heavily and I leaned over the side of the cockpit to catch my breath. She had a worried expression on her face and I could understand why. I honestly had no remorse for the pilots I shot down today. I was responsible for the deaths of five men and I didn't care. I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the visor of my flight helmet and it scared me. My eyes were red and my hair was all messed up from my perspiration. I looked like a psychotic animal and I couldn't bear to look at myself. What's wrong with me? Chopper came running over to congratulate me on becoming an ace, but it didn't matter to me anyways. All the things that ran through my head during that fight made me want to run away. I couldn't believe my past came rushing back to me within a couple of second. The anger and adrenaline were feelings that I had never wanted to feel again, but here it was.
1733hrs, Sand Island
We were told to keep everything that had happened today classified, so I was never officially became an ace of the OADF and I really didn't care for it. Becoming an ace was something that I used to think about when I was a kid but the reality of it was way different. I never thought that I'd actually be putting someone's life in danger. All I originally wanted was the aircraft, not the pilot. I played with Kirk to take my mind off of everything while I heard Captain Bartlett talking with Genette.
"Why do they even bother reprimanding me anymore? I know I'm gonna be stuck at Captain forever," said Captain Bartlett.
"…Who do you think's covering up the battle," asked Genette.
"Listen, the only thing across that ocean is Murska Air Base. That's Yuktobanian territory."
"But haven't we been allies with the Yukes since the war fifteen years ago?"
"Yeah," sighed Captain Bartlett as he scratched the back of his head. "That's why we got people working their asses off trying to confirm what the hell's going on over there. I bet they got hotlines ringing off the hook somewhere upstairs. The government doesn't want to get the public riled up with all this you know? But it doesn't matter; soldiers like us are too stupid to think for ourselves, so we just gotta keep mouths shut when they tell us to. I feel kind of bad for you actually," he said referring to Genette.
"It's alright. I get to be with you guys," he replied.
Yuktobania was the only other country those fighters could've come from and if that was the case, war was probably inevitable. The last war Osea was involved in was an extremely bloody one and the last one to break out on the planet was only six years ago during the Usean Conflict. That war was started over a super weapon that was intended to prevent another natural disaster that devastated certain countries. But as it usually goes, some power hungry asshole saw its true potential as a weapon and decided to use it.
"The Captain probably hates this more than anybody," said Pops as he walked over to Genette. "He used to have a lady friend over in Yuktobania."
Captain Bartlett could only look down and rub the back of his neck. "That's just an old war wound, now." Even if it was an old would, I could still tell that Captain Bartlett still held on to the thought of the woman Pops was referring to. I knew exactly how Captain Bartlett felt. I walked over to the hanger where my plane was stored in with Kirk and looked over my F-5. I started to wonder if my future engagements, if I had any, would be as successful (for lack of a better word) as yesterday. Chopper was able to count a total of twelve enemy aircraft that had attacked us. My plane hadn't suffered any battle damage and I reflected on the fight. The way those pilots maneuvered was a dead giveaway that those enemy were just starting out as combat pilots. Why would they send nuggets to shoot down a training flight?
That night, as I lay in bed, I thought about those pilots that I had killed. The rage I felt when I shot them down and the familiar sense of my survival instinct kicking in made me fear that Kei would find out what kind of person I actually was. I didn't want to make her afraid of me but I didn't want to lie to her either. I wondered if my flying had aroused any suspicion towards me at all. There was something about the way I flew that might've drawn a lot of attention towards me, but only if anyone was aware of what it was. It was highly unlikely that anyone on Sand Island knew so I didn't let it bother me.
"It changes you, doesn't it," Kei asked.
I snapped out of my train of thought when Kei had finally spoken to me for the first time since yesterday. I honestly didn't know how to answer her. I felt like a part of me had died, but at the same time I knew that nothing in me had changed. I knew I've always been like this but I never let anyone know about it, nor did I ever show it. I hated feeling like this, but I liked it, and that scared me.
"Yeah, I guess it does," I said.
"Can I ask you something, Antonio?" said Kei.
"What is it?"
"I heard you shouting over the radio when you were chasing your targets and it got me really worried about you. What was going through you mind when you shot down those five pilots?" asked Kei.
I didn't want to tell her about anything that I was thinking, but I felt like I should if I wanted her to fly with me again. I wanted to tell her everything but I couldn't. I was afraid she would judge me and become afraid of me. I could only be truthful to a certain point, but even that wasn't enough.
"I could only think about the others who died yesterday in that attack. I didn't want them to kill anyone else but I couldn't see any other way to stop them, so I did what I had to do to keep you and the others safe." I said.
"Do you feel guilty about those pilot's deaths?"
"No," I said bluntly.
"Me neither," replied Kei.
She didn't feel guilty about the blood on her hands anymore? I didn't know what Kei was thinking but she had me worried now. I had more reason to not feel any remorse or guilt than she did and she only had to live with the fact that she hesitated to shoot down those enemy planes from yesterday. Maybe she was trying to avenge the others that died or maybe she had finally gotten over her guilt. Either way, she was becoming the person I was afraid of becoming.
Personal aircraft kill record: 5