I don't own Hanazuki: Full of Treasures. Any reviews, positive or negative, are welcome.
Geez, this show really needs more attention. :/ Most of the episodes have over a million views on YouTube, yet the fanbase is so small... is it because of "What's a Chicken Plant?" DON'T WORRY IT DISTURBED ME TOO BUT THE SHOW GOT BETTER PLEASE WATCH... sorry I just... hate that episode.
Okay, moving on. Here's the next chapter of Repression. Enjoy!
It feels...
Lonely.
That was the least negative word Hanazuki could use to describe this part of her subconscious. It was, without a doubt, a perfect representation of how sadness felt. Cold. Dark... She didn't understand what the rain was, but to her, the constant water droplets resembled tears.
The sky is crying...
But sadness was nowhere near as bad as despair. Sadness is not as cold, not as dark... in fact, sometimes it feels like... a sort of release.
The Moonflower ponders this as her sadness, Blue Hemka, bounces over to her in greeting. An air of melancholy surrounded him, studying her with very familiar, big watery eyes, noticeable dark tearstains streaking down his furry little face. He manages a little smile.
"Hi...?"
Hanazuki immediately struggles to resist the urge to scoop up the little Hemka and wipe away those tears. She felt pity just looking at him. Even his voice sounded weepy, reminiscent of her real Blue Hemka.
"Oh... hello," she begins quietly, hoping for him not to cry, seeing as he looked as if he might burst into tears at any moment, "you're my sadness, I see... You don't mind if I just call you Blue, do you?"
The Hemka shakes his head, still with that little smile on his face. Rubbing both eyes, the emotion materializes a leaf-umbrella out of nowhere, offering it to the Moonflower to protect her from the seemingly perpetual thunderstorm.
"Aww, thank you..." Hanazuki can't help but feel touched, holding the stem of the large palm tree leaf with one hand, petting the Hemka with the other, "but I don't want you to get hit by the... um... sky tears..."
She assumed that was a fitting term for this unfamiliar weather.
Her sadness tilts to the side, apparently perplexed. Wrapping an ear around Hanazuki's free hand, bounding to her side, he gives her an assuring smile that he is shielded by the umbrella, too.
With this, he begins to guide her through the storm.
As they walk, the Moonflower looks down at Blue in avid curiosity.
"Hey, Blue, I really have to ask..."
The Hemka finally speaks again, looking up at her.
"Anything."
Hanazuki feels as if she'd regret asking this, but who knew more about sadness than her literal sadness?
"What's the difference between sadness and despair?"
Expecting the worst reaction, she endures herself for an outburst.
...But to her surprise, the Hemka just gives her a thoughtful expression.
The scenery shifts without warning, from the dark stormy night to a calm place on the moon, the spot where Kiazuki and Hanazuki had planted sadness treasure trees, Kiazuki's very first mood.
Blue sits near one, motioning for Hanazuki to sit near the other one across from him.
When she does so, he closes his eyes in thought.
"Well, to answer your question," the emotion begins, "sadness and despair are similar, as much as I would not like to admit... but at the same time, there's a very big, very good difference between me and that," he glares at the black blob's sudden, coincidental appearance in the sky, completely stationary, strangely enough.
"You see, sadness is kind of a release, if you will," the emotion smiles, not fazed at all by the Big Bad.
"That's kind of what I was thinking," Hanazuki comments.
"Because it's true," Blue nods, "it is perfectly okay to feel sad. You feel bad for a little bit, but you know... you can express it. It is not bad to cry. Everyone needs to cry sometimes. It's healthy to release that sadness. Crying is soothing to the soul. It can ease any pain that you feel. You remember... telling Kiazuki to let her sadness out, and she grew this tree. She's happy now. That's how sadness is helpful. That's how I help you.
"But despair," Blue continues, starting to look sorrowful again, "is a very, very bad emotion to feel. Unlike sadness, despair lies buried deep down inside. You change. You try to hide it, but it isn't easy. It grows and grows and you feel worse and worse... you feel hopeless. Trapped. Like nothing is ever going to change or get better. That's how Kiyoshi felt until you helped him express himself, too. Despair wants to take you over. It wants you to suffer. Those black treasure trees you grew, the despair overshadowed us other emotions. It doesn't help at all. You want to push it back and then it grows more and more, until it overwhelms you and sinks you into the dark, alone. And you can't cry where no one can hear you...'
Hanazuki looks down at her hands, covering her white bracelet with one arm. She understood. Blue had described everything she was going through.
"But, Hanazuki," the Hemka lightly rests one ear on her hands to regain her attention, "you remember the first time you were sad, don't you?"
"Yes... I didn't mean to flatten you... I mean, the-"
Blue suddenly shushes her.
"Just... pretend I'm the real Blue Hemka. That is the form I took, after all."
Hanazuki nods, immediately picking the emotion up and hugging him, smothering him with attention.
"I'm sorry, I'm sorry... If Sleepy Unicorn wasn't there, you could've..." Tears began to form in the corners of the Moonflower's eyes, her highlights flickering a pale blue.
"I don't want to lose you... I almost lost almost all of you Hemkas before, and Kiazuki already knows how that feels with her own little friends... I can't imagine how sad I would be if I actually... lost you..."
She cries, turning blue, and her emotion cries with her, comfortingly hugging her back as he, too, begins to glow.
"It's okay..."
The scenery fades into a void yet again, and a fuschia-lavender door appears in front of the two.
"I don't like goodbyes," Blue murmurs, letting go of Hanazuki as their glow fades away.
The Moonflower wipes her tears away, smiling.
"Me neither. But you're a part of me. That won't ever change."
Blue smiles back, though he's still in tears.
"Inspiration is strange, I should warn you... He's almost always hiding."
"Sounds fun," Hanazuki replies simply, kissing Blue's head, "thank you for reminding me of sadness."
The Hemka nuzzles her face, surprising her yet again.
"And thank you for visiting me."
Getting used to this strange dream, Hanazuki pushes open the lavender door, and walks in.
As an actual victim of depression, I can explain how it feels. Perhaps how it feels for me, but if you relate, I hope you liked my take on describing it.