•Chapter 14•
Hello!
It's December already … dang. Sorry for another late update! Here's a longer chapter, but please be warned: next chapter will definitely NOT be as long.
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Happy reading!
2010
Skype: AnnabethChase92 is online
P_J_818: You busy rn?
AnnabethChase92: Not really. Why?
P_J_818: Idk. Just wanna talk. It's raining really hard right now and Tysons sick with a fever so I can't leave the apartment because I have to take care of him and my moms out for work and I cant be loud or do anything that might wake him up because hes sleeping obviously so I'm getting real antsy right now
AnnabethChase92: Lol I believe that's the longest paragraph you've written, Jackson. THIS IS A MIRACLE!
P_J_818: -_- Shut upppppp. Why you so meeaaan :(
AnnabethChase92: I'm not being mean. What are you talking about?
P_J_818: Okay. Sure youre not.
AnnabethChase92: I'm not.
P_J_818: Whatever.
AnnabethChase92: So what's up?
P_J_818: The sky!
P_J_818: WOO I MADE A NERD JOKE!
AnnabethChase92: That is hardly a nerd joke, and that's an insult to proud nerds everywhere, including yours truly
P_J_818: Lol
AnnabethChase92: It's true though.
P_J_818: Meh. I guess
AnnabethChase92: Besides, apparently, I read somewhere that some U.S. passed a law allowing its citizens or anyone currently in said state to legally punch someone for answering "The sky" when asked "What's up?" So, according to its law, I am allowed to punch you. Lucky for you, I am unable to do so through the blocking of the screen dividing you and me (and everything else, from the cars to the trees to the waters), which also enables us to communicate. Thank your mother for moving you
AnnabethChase92: Besides, "My blood pressure … because of you," would be a much adequate answer if you asked me that. :P
P_J_818: Wow, I thought you couldn't get any nerdier. Boy, WAS I WRONG!
P_J_818: Also, I've already thanked my mother for moving me here. We had this exchange student from Oregon last year and we drove her crazy with our "Noo Yawk" accent lol. We made it so thick and it was SO funny to see her reaction. Too bad she left the following year :(
AnnabethChase92: Gee, I wonder why …
AnnabethChase92: Actually, I have to go now. I just remembered that I'm going to the mall with Hazel and Gwen today
P_J_818: For once, the genius forgets something
AnnabethChase92: -_- Yes, I did. Bye :-)
P_J_818: Bye :)
Skype: AnnabethChase92 has left
I turned around and got off my computer. Feeling bored, I picked up my checklist from off the floor and began flipping through it. I didn't use it much, but I was bored. "I'm done all my chores, right?" I started crossing items when I had completed them, like how Annabeth did it with her planner. "Ugh, I'm turning into Annabeth," I muttered as I realized what I was doing and stopped.
I spun in my chair again and messaged Annabeth one last thing.
P_J_818: Oh no I'm turning into you. I started crossing off stuff in my list O . o SOMEONE CALL THE PSYCHAIATRIST!
I was told, later, that when she read my message, she'd laughed so hard her step-mother was able to hear her two rooms away and thought she'd gone insane.
"Jason, if you weren't dating Piper, and you liked this girl, would you ask her out? Or, at least, tell her you liked her?"
He thought it over, which took probably less than two seconds. "Yeah, I would." He shrugged. "Why not, right?"
I looked at him. "Even if you're not sure that she likes you back? Or that she lives, like, in Europe or something?"
"Europe?!" he repeated. "How do you know some girl from Europe?!"
"It was just an example," I told him, rolling my eyes. I flapped my hands impatiently at him, indicating for him to ignore that part and continue. "But yeah, for all intents and purposes, Europe."
"'For all intents and purposes'? Dude, you're turning into your penpal." He jokingly took a nearby pencil and pretended that it was a thermometer. He stuck the eraser end on my neck. "Dear, are you alright?" asked Jason, faking a concerned motherly tone, and perched his glasses onto the end of his nose. "Really, Dear." He looked over the tops of his glasses at me. "You don't have to be shy."
I rolled my eyes again. "I know, yeah, whatever. Just answer the question."
"Yeah, I guess," he said slowly in his normal voice, pushing his glasses up to the bridge of his nose.
"Think I should do it?"
"Yeah." He smirked at me. "I know who you're talking about. It's obvious."
"What if she thinks that's creepy, or she doesn't like me the same way? What if our friendship is ruined because of one stupid question?" The answers come flooding out of me. "Like, she's an awesome person, and I love talking to her. Besides, it—I mean, you know, my … you know … it will pass, right?"
"Woah, dude, calm down," he told me. "Well, it's worth a try, right?"
"Yeah." I exhaled. "You're right."
He gave me a cocky grin. "'Course I am. I'm a genius. How do you think I got valedictorian?"
I rolled my eyes. "Whatever." Standing up, I told him I had to go, explaining my mother and Paul were going for a two-week trip to visit Paul's family in Colorado, and that I was driving them to the airport.
He waved me goodbye as I pulled out of his and his sister's driveway.
My best friend's words stayed with me as I went home and picked up my parents, as I drove to the airport, and after that, too. Should I do it? I wondered the entire time. Is it worth the risk? I don't want our friendship to end just because I like her.
His text came later that night. It's Annabeth you were talking about, amirite?
A few days later, I sat down at my computer a bit after breakfast, heart beating fast and hard. I knew she wouldn't be up, seeing as it was only four thirty, San Francisco time. I looked at the clock mounted on my wall. I would only have half an hour to write—and send—this, before I had to leave to drive Tyson to school and get to work at the horse clinic on time.
I cracked several knuckles before starting out of nervousness. This was so alike to my penpal project, yet so different.
Dear Annabeth,
Did you know your name means "favour" and "grace"? You probably do. It's your name, after all.
I know that sometimes you don't like your name. You think it sounds too feminine, too gentle, too … unlike you. To you, you think your name—both the sound and the meaning—describes everything you are not.
Well, let me tell you that I think it sounds beautiful. Every time I say your name, the soft sounds roll around in my mouth, like sweet honey. (Or something.) It's a glorious sound, something that cannot be described.
It's unique. It can be two names, but it became one. It could've been "Annabelle" or "Elizabeth," but your father chose parts of two different names and formed a unique name. A special name for a special girl.
I think it fits you. Your name, I mean.
You graced this world with your presence. You did this world a favour and giving it your intelligence and wit. The world received a gift when you showed your brains.
I've been trying to ignore it, for days. Weeks, even. But I can't any longer, and I must let the truth come forth.
The thing is, Annabeth, I'm crazy for you. I know we've never met in person, face to face, and we've only Skyped a handful of times, but that's enough. We were penpals before.
In the months that I've known you, you've stirred up something inside of me—something I've never felt before. It's like not knowing how coffee tastes until you've tried it, and you wonder how you've lived before, without tasting this delicious drink. (I know you're not a huge coffee drinker, but I like coffee, and that's the only thing I can think of right now, okay? I mean, I literally have a cup of coffee right beside my computer right now.)
In case you have no idea what I'm talking about, I'll say it simply:
You've captured my heart, in a way no other girl has. If there was a void I knew not about before, I know now, and it can only be filled by one Annabeth Chase.
People usually say age doesn't matter, but I'll change it a little: Distance doesn't matter, because, ever time I converse with you, I feel as if I am closer to you than ever possible. You don't need to reply to this email, if you do not wish to. I just wanted to let you know, because if another day goes by without me telling you of my feelings, I just might burst.
Forever yours,
Percy Jackson
I read it over. It seemed okay … I guess.
If I thought my heart was freaking out earlier, it was nothing compared to what it was now. My heart was pounding in my chest, pounding so hard I was surprised it didn't pop out of my chest. I swore my neighbours next door could hear it. I swore the entire city of Manhattan could feel my heartbeat pounding under their feet.
It's now or never, I thought.
Before I could lose my nerve, I clicked SEND.
2015
The eight of us sit in a circle in Hazel's living room. "Okay, first order of business," Hazel says briskly, "before half of us leave of New York tomorrow.
"One. I think we should have a little going away party. I mean, when again will all of us be able to be in the same place together?"
Seven heads nod in agreement. "Only sucks that it was Annabeth who brought us together and she isn't even here," I mutter under my breath. "Seems a bit ironic, isn't it?"
Leo hears me and shoots me a look—an expression I'm surprised to see on my friend's normally cheerful (if not sarcastic) face. "What?" I whisper.
He shakes his head. Later, he mouths.
I shrug, and tune back into the conversation. "Three. I think we should spruce up Annabeth's room right now. It looks awfully … drab."
"Yeah, so like flowers, cards … and what else?" asks Piper thoughtfully.
"I could paint something," Rachel volunteers. "Something like the San Francisco skyline."
"You have to stop thinking about it like that," Leo hisses suddenly beside me. "Really, Perce. If you think a bullet will stop your fiancée, you're dead wrong!"
"Excuse me?"
"Annabeth."
"I know that," I say, irritated.
He looks at me, incredulous. "But do you really think that? Or are you saying it as a mantra, to keep you sane? Do you really think Annabeth will give up a fight that easily? She's going to be okay, Perce! You can't stay in one place forever!"
I look at him and throw my hands up, frustrated. "Everyone keeps telling me that! Do you think I'm not trying?"
"Truthfully?" Leo answers. "Not really."
"What?" I shout. "I am!"
"No. You're not."
"I'm trying to ignore it, Leo," I say wearily. "I really am trying."
"Ignoring it won't help. You just have to accept it, know that it happened, and try to move on from that spot. Maybe you won't go far, but anything would be better than staying put in one place."
I mutter, "Like you would know." I instantly regret my words. Leo's mom …
Leo stares at me, his face stony. "My mother died when I was eight." His voice is cold, unrelenting. "I was left with only my father, who wasn't that great of a father, but tried his hardest and did all he could to be a good father. Do you think that I don't know how it feels?! The guilt that I carry around, knowing that I could've saved her from that fire? I'm not the only one carrying that burden. Bianca was killed. Nico lost his only sister. He could've saved her if he went with her to her death. Let her know she was loved. Frank's mother was killed in action. Hazel's mother was killed by a caving cave, and Hazel herself lost her own life for a minute.
"All of us know what you're going through, and we've been through worse. You can't say that we haven't lost anyone, so we don't know how you feel. We all have lost someone we loved, we know how you feel. What we're telling you … we've been told the same thing."
I let out a breath. He's right. Then why do I still feel like I'm simmering like a volcano, ready to erupt at any moment? I close my eyes, hoping my heart will stop running its race, and go back to a walking pace.
"The biggest difference of all is that … with Annabeth, she might wake up," continues Leo. "You have a chance of seeing her again. But we who have …" He stops and then starts over. "For those who have lost someone … my mom, Bianca, Mrs. Zhang, Mrs. Levesque … we're never going to see them in this life again."
My heartbeat rises again. "I don't want her to die."
"I know you don't," he answers calmly. "None of us do. But if she does, all of us will just have to accept it. Besides, as long as there is love and memory, Percy, there really is no true loss*. Your memory of Annabeth will live on, even if she doesn't."
I snap.
"If she dies, I want to die too, rather than go on living without her!" I yell, breathing hard. "I know all of you have gone through this—and worse! It doesn't make it any better! I feel like you're just trying to help me ignore what's going on and live my life. Do you not see how stupid this is? How are you acting like nothing's wrong? Did you never care about her at all?! Honestly, it's like I never knew any of you at all! Leo, you're acting like you care, but where were you these last few months, huh? You were in Calgary at a convention!" I spit that last word out. "A convention. Doing what? Tinkering about with mechanics and other stupid stuff no one has a use for! Honestly, Leo, you're so selfish, I don't even know what I saw in you! When I saw you eating alone at lunch in the cafeteria that day, I should've just left you there, instead of saying anything!"
All the background voices stop simultaneously. Leo backtracks, seeing the expression on my face. I feel the blood drain out of my face as my words dawn on me. "Leo, I'm so sorry, I didn't—"
"You did."
It was Jason who said that.
"You did," he says again, rising to his feet. "You're the type of person who will withhold all their anger and sorrow until you"—he makes a poof gesture with his hands—"lose hold of your control. You can't control what you say when you snap, Percy. It just comes out."
Nico speaks up for the first time since we got here. "We get it, Perce. You're missing her a lot. We all are. Don't you think we don't? Granted, it's probably worse for you, but we're all in this together." He gets up as well, going to stand beside Jason. "You just have to cope, heal, and …" He sighs. "I hate to say this, because it sounds horrible and none of us want to think about it that way, but … in the worst-case scenario that Annabeth doesn't make it for some reason, you must learn to move on without her, whether you want to or not."
I look at everyone, their faces a mix of sympathy, annoyance, and sadness. "I—I'm sorry guys. I just need a minute. Just … continue on without me. I'll be back." Without waiting for a reply, I run out the front door, down the stairs, and into the street.
It isn't until I get to the street when I realize my face is wet.
*This quote was from Jem Carstairs, in City of Heavenly Fire by Cassandra Clare.
Ugh so sad :( … I might've gotten really, really, sad when I wrote that last part …
It's my goal to finish this story but December 31st, so I'll try my best to produce chapters quicker but with just as good quality. Senior high is CRAZY!
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-K