I own nothing Rizzoli and Isles

LET SLEEPING BLOOD LIE

Chapter 29 - Maura

Well she isn't dead...

The warm water ran over her hands, washing off any traces of what had just happened, more mental than physical. She watched the water spiral as it drained, mesmerized by the consistent twirl as it appeared to sit static and spinning. After turning off the tap the water finally vanishes below her fingers. She wished her memories could wash away just as easily.

Using a paper towel to dry her hands before scrunching it up and basketball tossing it into the plastic waste-bin before finally looking up at her reflection in the mirror. She noticed her brow furrowed and tried to relax her face, it wasn't a groove she wanted permanently etched there. Her eyes looked dull, tired, and her face gaunt and pale. She almost didn't recognize herself and her stomach lurched at the sight.
She tried to smile but her reflection refused to comply only twitching the corners of her mouth.
Sighing she closed her eyes, it was a blessing she didn't have to see herself all the time. And she hardly saw anyone else these days anyway. No one would notice the change in her countenance...surely. She was still her, raven locks and tall frame, that was her, the 'her' that people knew from a distance, recognized immediately. Her mother would certainly see a change in her but she rarely saw her anymore, hadn't seen her in weeks now. Maura would notice, she would see Maura tomorrow too...she would have to do something about that, unsure what exactly she opened her eyes again. The 'her' staring back looked just as confused as she felt, how to solve this problem belonged to them both. Maybe she could dye her hair blonde...that would certainly distract anybody curious enough to bother looking at her. Or cutting her hair off. Short of changing her clothing there wasn't much else she could do. Maybe Maura wouldn't notice because she'd be just so darn happy to see her. Wishful thinking maybe.

The light tapping on the bathroom door pulled her from her dilemma, as a soft but gruff voice called out "Are ya alright?"

"Yeah" she called back without breaking eye contact with her reflection. Shannon wasn't her counsellor or her confidant, he was merely checking on her physically, her psyche was her own problem, "Be right out, Shannon."

With one last glance at the mirror she unlocked the door. Shannon stood on the other side, giving her a gentle smile, "Lou isn't far away. Are you ready to go."

Jane nodded, "Yeah".

Shannon returned her nod with his own, "Ok, I'll be in touch in a few days. Your file is heavily redacted and now if anyone opens it or searches for your name we'll know about it first. So relax, yeah?"

Jane forced a smile, "Thanks. No. I mean...Thank you so soooo much." Jane squeezed her hands together almost like a prayer, it was one of her mothers traits, a physical expression of gratitude. She truly was grateful, only the sickening feeling at the back of her mind was still consuming her and causing everything to feel wrong, backwards.

His grin warmed her heart slightly. His face shone almost like Jane's gratitude was the greatest compliment on earth to him. She would never know who he was exactly, but she had a hunch that he is or was a teenage hacker possibly picked up, caught, and utilized by a group like the NSA, and he now worked against those type of groups. That was alway the way, dumb people trying to use smarter people to their advantage not realizing the smart people weren't stupid. He was in his 20's and in the prime of his career, his illegal clandestine activities his greatest achievements. Jane hoped he'd never get caught.

"What about her?" Jane gestures over her shoulder in the general direction of the woman still lying unconscious on the ground, by her actions.

"Don't worry, I'll take care of it." Shannon smiles

Jane looks down at her hands, then to Shannon, "Won't she come after me now?"

"No, never again."

Jane runs her hand through her curls anxiously, "You're not going to kill her are you?"

He chuckles, "No. Don't worry. We deal with these kinds of situations all the time."

Jane swallows and after a pause asks "What's in it for you?" she hadn't wanted to ask, but having things taken care of for her sounded like the mafia, and as much as she just wanted things to 'be taken care of' there was always a price. It went against her police training, her morals. That she had come this far without her conscience stopping her already, which was concerning enough, without this doctors's blood being on her hands also...despite what they had done to her...she was still human after all. And Jane valued life deserving or otherwise.

Shannon's smile drops, for the first time she see's him looking completely serious, in an instant he ages five or so years, "Jane, I like to play the Robin Hood slightly different. I don't just take from the rich and give to the poor, I enjoy making the rich watch over their shoulders, fear the worst, fear for their children, their companies and their wealth. It slows them down, stops them taking so many privileges, and especially stops them using humans any way they feel like it. Remember who you're dealing with...these aren't people, not in the sense we are anyway. They care only about power, control, and always at the cost of lives. And they don't care. They start wars, create chaos, and when it suits them, they resolve it. They send young boys into war to die because war is profit, it makes them money because they finance both sides, and they are lovers of eugenics too, so death equals less people. They change history to suit themselves, to cover their crimes and make themselves look like the good guys. They make and change policies to suit themselves. They control the education system. Create disinformation and misinformation. They poison our food and water and make us sick, then make money selling us their drugs their cures. They brainwash us to buy their products. They allow us to work to pay taxes that they spend how they want for their own benefit. They control the banks and the currency, they control inflation and the stock market. Their alliance effects every aspect of human life, the value and distribution of commodities, money, weapons, water, fuel, the food we eat to live, the information we rely on to tell us who we are. They control both government parties, they have their people in every country, every institution. And when 'control by stealth' no longer works, they will use force. They control the police that will lock you up if you oppose them and they control the agencies that take you away...well, you know that part yourself. The 'they' I speak of is bigger than the spooks you have dealt with. The CIA is only one finger on a whole body."

Jane feels like she has to catch her breath, just to take in a small amount of this is huge let alone take it all in. She will mull over it, it will take to to comprehend, to change her views from the common world views.

Shannon can tell she isn't ready for more, "One day we will discuss the bigger picture...but not today." his smile reappears.

"Thought you said no names." Jane retorts squinting her eyes and scrunching her nose jokingly at him

Shannon laughs heartily, a twinkle to his eye, "True, I did say that." She joins in on the laugh. It's a good end to the conversation for now, break the tension of the night. Jane reaches out and gently touches his arm gently before retracting it back to her side, its a gesture of respect, of thanks, of trust.

They both watch as Lou pulls up slowly in his black car along the north side of the building and stops a few meters from them, he hops out casually and opens the back door holding it for Jane, a brand new cigar lit and puffing.

Jane turns to say goodbye to Shannon, but he's gone. She scans the empty area behind her but there is no sign of him.

"Those things will kill you, Lou." She points at his cigar before climbing in and closing the door. Lou gets in the front and shifts his rear view mirror so Jane is centre in his sight, "My occupation is more dangerous than nicotine," He laughs, "Let's get you home."

Jane tries to put it all behind her on the drive home, she has to prepare for phase two and getting stuck in regret or hesitating would slow her down. She was motivated to somehow finish this, or take down the webs of deceit with her.

Lou gives her his card before he leaves. It was well after 3 am, she has to get some sleep tonight. Today was Friday, soon she would see Maura, she couldn't wait, the week had felt like a month.

Her dreams hindered her quiescence, they would for the next few nights too. Flashes of the doctors eyes rolling back into her skull as her head hit the ground, flashes of the smirks she gave Jane, "You don't know who you're dealing with" voices disrupting her slumber, unnerving her, interrupting her sleep. She woke later that day weary and very sore, miserable and aching.

Maura finally bunches the photo's together. That Friday had been almost a week ago now, she didn't know what had happened since then. Scooping the bundle of pictures up off the table she puts them into her handbag, no-one else can ever see these.

"Dan, Thank you, please keep following her, money is no issue."

"Sure Dr. Isles. I will keep you updated." He nods getting up to leave

Maura hums in thought, "Dan, Do you know where she is...right now?"

Maura arrives at Jane's apartment and pounds heavily on the door.

It's several moments before she hears movements followed by a sleepy hoarse voice calling out from somewhere inside "It's open."

Maura opens the door and steps cautiously inside, catching the shiny glint of something metal, a gun barrel, reflection from the low light entering off the hallway, it appears the barrel is aimed somewhere near her chest.

"Jane, it's me" she whispers quickly

The gun shaft drops quickly into the shadows and a sigh comes from general couch area, "Lock the door please Maura"

She does so before switching on the light. The darkness suddenly disappears as the space is brightly illuminated causing Jane to groan and cover her eyes. Jane's apartment is fairly tidy and looks almost identical to the times she came to try to find Jane in the beginning. Angela had cleaned then and Jane had barely disturbed it. Dan indicated to her that Jane was home at odd hours and there was never much movement from inside when she was home, it was easy to conclude she only used the place mainly to sleep.

"What are you doing here?" Jane's voice is croaky and slightly agitated like she hasn't had enough sleep, it interrupts Maura's own thoughts.

Maura moves to the couch and sits down beside Jane.

"Hi" she whispers, a half smile, trying to soften Jane's agitation

Jane softens, she can't help it, her body relaxes with a sigh, and she pulls out an almost award winning grin, "Hi Maur"

Despite her outward behavior she is thrilled to see Maura, they don't see each other nearly enough anymore...albeit it being entirely her choice, she does hate the arrangement.

It's not forever she tells herself

Maura fiddles with the ring on her hand, rotating it a few times, she hadn't prepared anything beyond coming here, beyond just knowing Jane is ok. especially after just witnessing Jane's secret life of the last month.

"I, um, I wanted to ask you something, Jane."

"Shoot" Jane replies reaching over to touch Maura's shoulder, a tentative move, almost like she was checking Maura was alive, real, sitting beside her right now. Not some figment of a dream.

"I wanted to ask you about the CIA?"

Jane's smile doesn't move as she answers, "The CIA is a civilian foreign intelligence service of the United States federal government."

"Is that the from wikipedia?"

"Yep"

"I'm more interested in the definition that involves you." Maura doesn't break eye contact, she is watching for micro expressions, and finds Jane harder to read than usual

Jane clenches her jaw slightly but keeps the outward smile in place "What do you know?"

Maura swallows, she can't lie but doesn't want to let Jane know she has had her followed, "Well, In a conversation recently, I heard a little something." She tries to come across as nonchalant as possible while fighting off the onset of hives.

Jane's eyes search Maura's gently, she is hardly fooled by the way the question was answered

"About me?"

"In a sense, yes." Maura swallows, she scolds herself internally for not planning this exchange better.

Finally Jane's smile drops making way for the concern to seep through "The less you know the better Maur. I want to protect you."

Maura suddenly feels angry, "Please don't do this to me Jane. It's not fair."

Jane watches the anger come and go on Maura's face, only slightly shocked at her tone, before she answers.

"The CIA is a pawn in a game run by a select few. Some of the most powerful men and women on the planet are part of a global conspiracy, a shadow organization that spans across every continent and has for the last three decades, consisting of leaders in world government and the private sector." Jane shrugs like it's common knowledge and everybody already knows it

Maura squints her eyes into a glare, "Is there more?"

"Of course...It's an endless topic Maura."

Maura growls, actually growls, she is beyond frustrated "Jane I don't want to know who they are and what they do, I want to know what the whole thing has to do with you."

Jane gets up and goes to her fridge for a beer, "Want anything?" she asks pointing her fresh beer bottle at the fridge to indicate a drink of some sort. Maura shakes her head. "What makes you think it does have anything to do with me?" Jane asks sitting back down.

Maura tilts her head to one side, Jane being stubborn is trying her already diminished patience.

"Ok Jane, I will level with you. Between me not knowing where you are most of the time and all the physical injuries that I can only speculate are from fighting or being fought that you arrive with. And considering everything you went through that you won't even talk to me about...I've..." she pauses, taking a deep breath, because who knows how Jane will react "...I've had someone keep an eye on you." If it wasn't a ring Maura was twirling she would have twisted her finger off with nerves by now. Jane takes a long drink of her beer watching the scene before her, considering this development. Somehow she feels silly thinking Maura would just let her run off and do her own thing without being the least bit concerned and in true Maura style become involved without actually becoming involved.

She looks at Maura with a half smile, "Just an eye?"

"Yes, a private eye." she licks her lips, her mouth so dry she can barely swallow

Jane finally laughs, "You're paying someone to watch me?" she says completely amused her dimples contracted deeply into her cheeks as the smile covers her whole face.

Maura nods frowning at the calmness she didn't expect

"And what did this private eye find out?"

Maura releases the breath she wasn't aware she was holding, "Well, you might be considered a tad reckless with you behavior and meetings with people. And a few interesting conversations he happened to overhear." She confesses.

"He? Should I be jealous?"

Maura finally smiles, "You're deflecting, Jane."

"Yes I am." She smiles back, "Do you want me to just distract you, I guarantee it will be a lot more fun?"

Maura glances at Jane's lips and licks her own again, "Maybe later."

Jane rubs her hands together, "I won't lie to you, Maura, and if you want to know then I will tell you. But it would be easier if you just trusted me." There has been no guarantee keeping this from Maura will actually keep Maura, or anyone, safe. This reality is full of unknowns and there is no-one to ask either. Maura reaches up and places her hand on Jane's cheek, who leans into the comforting gesture and smiles. "You're asking me to trust that you are going to be ok without knowing what you are doing. I don't think I can do that."

Jane closes her eyes and drops her head releasing a deep sigh

"I need to use your ladies room" Maura says getting up and heading towards the other end of the apartment while Jane gets up to get another beer.

The light in Jane's bedroom was on and Maura couldn't resist pushing the door open to have a peek on her way back from the bathroom. Jane's bed was made and covered in books and papers, it didn't look like she had slept in it for some time. She probably slept on the couch most nights.

As the door opened further she caught sight of the wall on the other side of the room, it was covered in photos and newspaper clippings scattered from one end to the other. Lines of different colors of wool ran in a disarray of lines jutting in multiple directions with no real order. It was flawless picture of pandemonium.

She recognized some pictures, some of well known figures, some presidents, some the very rich and celebrities. Some words stood out to her written in Jane's writing on pieces of paper. CFR, NSA, CIA, UN.

There was pictures of a few of the fraternity boys from the crime board too, one picture in particular she had not seen before. Young Ricci Russell, tied to a chair. Jane's writing scribbled on post-its around the photo.

She frowns.

Just as she is about to step into the room for a closer look the door slams shut in front of her face. Jane's hand is on the doorknob and she looks surprised. Her face a little white, her eyes wide.

Maura is about to open her mouth when Jane says harshly, "Don't"

"Please don't shut me out Jane" Maura instantly has tears running down her face, the enormity of Jane's struggle finally evident. "Let me help you"

Jane squeezes the doorknob until her knuckles turn white and she rests her forehead against the doorframe, closing her eyes. The next 20 seconds ticks past in what feels like 20 hours. Then Jane turns the doorknob and pushes the door open for Maura to enter. She stays standing in the same spot her arms by her sides, just waiting for whatever comes next.

Maura puts her arms around Jane's waist pulling her close, and turns her face away from the bedroom, Jane has offered free entry, free unrestrained access into something very private. It's not an open invitation to all information, but its a step in the right direction, a start no matter how minutiae...

...to be continued...