I own nothing Rizzoli and Isles

This is a looooong chapter because I didn't want to split it halfway through a scene. Enjoy

LET SLEEPING BLOOD LIE

Chapter 31 - Confessions

"You deserve better than me, Maura" It seemed random in the silence, the first words uttered by Jane in hours, a resulting conclusion based on days, maybe weeks, of unspoken contemplation, and the body against her own that had finally stopped shivering.

Maura who was lost in her own thoughts takes a moment to feel the surprise from the despairing confession.

She pulls away from Jane to turn to face her, frowning, staring. Jane looks back at her, eyes and mouth downturned, sadness across her features, her whole body shows it, slumped shoulders, gaunt worried face. Her two worlds had collided, her safe world with Maura and her dangerous world protecting her.

"I don't want better Jane, I just want you." she tries to look soft and unhurt and hide everything else, and she succeeds, to Jane she looks wonderfully soft and caring making saying her next words even harder.

Since Maura arrived at her door she had been battling guilt. She knew she has been putting Maura through hell by distancing herself, and Maura's arrival confirmed how much she was suffering. And now she has allowed Maura into her world and it created a new kind of hell for her. She didn't know how she expected Maura to react, she so desperately wanted Maura to be apart of this, for her sake, for her comfort, because of her loneliness. It was selfish. The other part of her expected, or hoped, Maura would think it was a joke, something silly and unimportant and not be affected by it, she had once again underestimated Maura's intellect. Jane looked down from Maura's eyes, she felt guilty and broken inside and now could have broken her friend too. Although Maura wasn't shaking like a leaf anymore she still wasn't her usual self.

She does deserve to be safe

"You deserve to be safe Maur" her voice is filled is with regret and finality. She reaches up to Maura's neck and runs her fingers along the faint scar still visible there. The phrase looping in her head uncontrollably now, like it is the only known factor, Your Maura, she does deserve to be safe, unknown to Jane it's a truth they had fed her, they planted the thought, the seed into her consciousness and it took root through the pain and fear, and now it haunted her like a nightmare. An unseen element controlling her every action.

"I don't want you in danger. and..."

"Jane?"

"I..."

Maura leans away from Jane and turns to kiss her lips gently but it is not fully reciprocated, "It's ok sweetie, you can tell me anything"

Jane takes a deep breath, "I'm sorry Maura, I can't be with you, I can't put you in danger. It is selfish of me, you deserve to be safe..." A sob escapes her lips, as strong as she tries to be she can't keep it up, "...I just don't think this is a good idea anymore."

Maura freezes, It is unexpected and shocking especially while Jane holds her so closely like she is, "Why Jane?" she sniffs dejectedly

Jane can't look at Maura so she stares at her shoulder, the guilt is eating her alive, added guilt at the hurt she has now created, "I'm not the same person I was. I...I don't know who I am anymore."

"Jane, you are still you, and I still love you. Please don't run away from me."

For a moment Jane smiles, then it vanishes again, "I have done things Maura, things I can't tell you about. Things I am going to keep doing. I don't want you to see me...like this...when I am doing these things, things I have to do...I don't want you to see me.."

Maura stares at Jane frowning softly tilting her head in confusion, then she places her fingers under Jane's chin and tilts Jane's head up till their eyes meet.

"There are two things I need to say Jane..." Maura's tone is firm and even despite the secretions from her uncontrolled lacrimal gland, "Firstly. This...us...I would be in more danger emotionally without you than physically with you." Jane studies Maura's face waiting patiently, hoping the second half will help the first make sense. "Secondly, I know what you are doing, and I don't care. I know the risks, I want to face them with you. Let it be my choice at least, don't take that from me. Respect me in that way."

Jane frowns, "I am not good for you, this..." she gestures to the wall, "This is not good for you. This..." she waves her arm at herself hovering over some cuts and bruises for emphasis, "...this is not good for you." she whispers trying desperately to keep up her resolution to give Maura a better chance at life...without her.

Maura's face looks like her heart just broke, her bottom lip quivers and she bows her head

"Actually Jane, I think it is me that isn't good for you... If I was good enough then you would be ok. You would be able to talk to me, to let me in and tell me what happened to you, what's happening to you. You wouldn't need to keep all this from me." She bites her bottom lip before looking up again into Jane's eyes, fresh tears running down her cheeks.

"Don't say that. Don't ever ever say that." Jane growls, "It's not true. You are enough, you're better than good enough. You have been nothing but perfect for me" a single tear runs down her face as she speaks. Unsure how the table flipped from wanting to end their relationship for Maura's sake, she now desperately want's Maura to feel deserving of it. She cups Maura's face gently, holding in her own emotions by biting her lip, she refuses to add to the burden Maura carries. She strokes Maura's cheek with her thumb looking deeply into wet green eyes, and she leans in to kiss Maura gently, trying to convey her needs and that those needs are met by Maura alone.

Pulling away again but just enough to speak "I'm tired of hurting you Maura. You deserve to be loved and cared for, you deserve everything good in this world. And what I am doing..." She can't finish her sentence, her throat is too sore, her tongue too dry, her chest too tight.

"You give me all that Jane. I love you, whatever you do, however you come. Let me help you, I miss you so much sometimes I feel like i'm dying"

Jane can't help but smile, "Thats not only unscientific Maur, it's also ridiculous", she kisses Maura softly on the cheek.

"I miss you, I miss working together" Maura sighs

"With your genius brain by my side I'd probably have solved this a lot quicker"

"More quickly, Jane," she corrects before adding, "So please...please let me in..."

Ricci decides the truth is best, but he will also divulge as little as possible, "I'm a 7th generational descendant of William Huntington Russell cousin of Samuel Wadsworth Russell."

"So what?" Jane frowns at him impatiently

"Samuel founded Russell and Co., the most powerful American merchant house in China for half of the 19th Century. He amassed a fortune in the opium trade. William was a co-founder and funder of the Skull and Bones Society."

Jane glares at him, "Explain why that's even relevant" she was getting annoyed at him now.

Ricci frowns back at her equally annoyed, convinced he was being extraordinarily clear and wondering if Jane knew what she was doing at all, "It's not what you know, it's who you know. Or more importantly...who your bloodline is." His face began to change from fear to pride, "My bloodline is powerful, full of powerful men with wealth and position. I am a descendant of an elite bloodline. I am important," his proud face drops again, "I don't have a choice, I have a legacy to live up too. I am part of the club by lineage and blood. And they have taken an oath to favor their own kind."

"Blood, power and money."

"You really should have left it alone", Ricci adds, it sounds like a threat but his face is full of sadness

Jane swallows hard pulling the gun back a fraction from him, "I was doing my job. None of this would have happened if you had left Hamish alone."

"Probably", he mutters his voice heavy with remorse, "It was an accident though. But my family isn't to be messed with. Most people ignore things that go on because it's safer. They do not instigate trouble and they leave something alone if it might cause trouble. It's a big club with long reach."

"So you've said" Jane steps back and holsters her gun wondering what to do with him now

"I won't say anything to anyone about this"

The comment surprises her. She assumed this act would have her in particularly deep trouble. She had gone in knowing the risks and was fully prepared to live with the consequences to her. She had removed Maura and her family from her life enough by now that she was sure they wouldn't have been implicated. If interviewing this kid and the school had ended up with a result of torture, she figured an interrogation at gunpoint would have ended her up six feet under. "No?" she questions

"No," he replies, "I'd rather this situation right now be kept us under wraps for my own sake. If no one knows it's better for me. Whatever happened to you was bad and I'm sorry, but what would happen to me would be far far worse."

Jane tries to not feel sorry for this scared 17 year old kid that smells like urine. But she does. "You don't know that, you don't know what they did to me." she chokes out, she can't help it. In a way she want's him to know how his influence has changed her, ruined her. But she also knows he is just a kid and had no control of what was done for him, or more so because of him.

"I know what they'll do to me. Blood is thick but not when it comes to betraying secrets."

Jane nods, he knows how deep it goes, he has grown up within the walls of the esoteric institutes, he knows their secrets, she on the other hand is still learning.

"The judge, he was in the club too?"

Ricci looks down, confirming the allegation

"The principle?"

Silence

Jane reaches over to gently brush a strand of hair off Maura's face, "Hamish was going to expose them and going to get them shut down for all the things they had done. Their plan was to strip him naked and parade him around the school and embarrass him into silence. Then they found his cocaine. They decided to inject him with it. Hamish charged them knocking Oliver over and he tried to run away, and they chased him. Hamish ran up onto the rooftop and was trapped there. One of them had left the door unlocked for a ritual they were going to do later that night."

Maura nods her eyes wide, waiting for more.

It was mutually decided between them to begin where every good story usually does, at the beginning. Jane was taking it extra slow, trying not to overwhelm Maura again and kept checking every few minutes that she was alright. At the end of the story they would need to decide where to go from there, what was next, and mostly what Maura wanted to do.

"They all surrounded Hamish laughing at him and tried to inject him again. They wanted him to look unstable, crazy, drugged. Then they were going to take him to hospital. They figured if he was a drug addict or user no one would believe what he said about Phi Kappa Beta."

Jane fights to keep her face serious. Looking at Maura's shocked face and wide opened mouth reminds her of her brother's expressions when she used to read them scary bedtime stories about pirates.

"Hamish fought them and they couldn't inject him in this arms so they just jabbed it in his shoulder. Hamish had laughed and said he would have them all arrested and he had the proof. Angrily they jabbed the rest in his leg. They saw his eyes dilate instantly and he just stepped backwards over the edge. Ricci said it happened so fast that no-one even had the chance to grab him. Then they carried him to middle of campus hoping to keep the fraternities dorm house separate from his death."

Maura gasps, "And...Ricci just told you all this?"

"Yes. But you can't tell anyone. It would kind of...erm, definitely...be considered a coerced confession...mainly the 'at gunpoint' part." She watched Maura's face, the last statement didn't appear to shock her anymore than the rest so she carried on, revealing the whole thing at once she hoped would be like pulling off a bandaid, " Also Hamish's father was beaten badly during his rushing and he had ended up in hospital, he was going to sue the school so Phi Kappa Beta had paid him off to keep him quiet. It cost them a lot of money and I think they were kind of scared of it coming back on them later. So when Hamish arrived at the school and they realized who he was...then Hamish had threatened to expose them also, well...they..."

"They killed him." Maura finishes unperturbed, "Why didn't you tell me before now Jane?"

"Well...I didn't really want to have to explain how I found out. And I didn't want you involved again. Plus I might have had better things to do when I was with you." She winks at Maura who blushes scarlet.

Jane licks her lips and after what feels like an eternity, she takes Maura's lips in her own and seals her love with a long gentle kiss before pulling away slowly.

Maura smiles, sad that it ended so quickly but knowing it wouldn't be their last kiss either, "So how did it get from Hamish to your rather frightening wall?"

Jane half smiles, revealing in the joy of finally sharing this, sure Maura is ready, but prepared to stop if it gets too much, "I call it 'The Web'." Jane spreads her arms wide as she says it for the added visual dynamic.

"Like the internet? The world wide web?" Maura queries raising both eyebrows

Jane pouts slightly, "Yeah,ok. What about 'The Octopus'?" Mimicking the exact same arm movement sets Maura off into a fit of giggles.

"The Wall' is fine I guess" Jane deadpans before slowly grinning. She is so grateful to see Maura laughing and relaxed.

"I really want to know about the baseball bat." Maura whispers and sighs running her hand down Jane's torso where the bruise had once been, the gentle touch eliciting a shiver from Jane.

"Training" Jane half shrugs pulling Maura closer to her, "Weapons training."

Maura sits up in surprise, "Weapons training..with a baseball bat? That doesn't sound like any training I've ever heard of. Was it a modified form of Escrima or Kali or Bojutsu?"

Jane realizes she is caught, typical of Maura to know more about weapons and training than her, she mumbles under her breath hoping miraculously that Maura won't hear, "Street-fighting."

"Jane" Maura exclaims, you could have been killed. Jane just shows her dimples, it's always a great distraction.

Maura wraps her arms around Jane settling back in, "Tell me more." is the sleepy whisper.

Jane glances at the time, its 10:20pm, there is much more to discuss but for now it's time for Maura to rest. Jane snuggles into Maura and shifts them both down into the bed so they are more comfortable before whispering her response to Maura, "Tomorrow my love."

Maura wakes up as Jane is almost fully clothed and getting ready to sneak out, she had been as quiet as she could but in the low light and with all the papers and books scattered all over the floor of her room she had a difficult time.

"Where are you going? I miss you when you leave." she sounds a little panicked amongst the sleepiness, like she fears Jane won't come back at all.

Jane leans over the bed a gives Maura a chaste kiss on her lips. Then she rests her forehead against Maura's.

"Hi honey" She whispers

Maura can't help but smile, "Hi beautiful."

"Go back to sleep, it's late."

"You aren't going to tell me are you?" She yawns and wraps her arms around Jane pulling her down on top holding her firmly so she can't leave.

Jane nuzzles Maura's neck and leaves a few gentle kisses there, "I'll be back soon, I promise."

"Please stay" she sleepily begs Jane

Jane pulls away slowly and watches Maura, she is sleepy and gorgeous. She would love nothing more than to climb back into her warm bed, wrap her arms around Maura and never leave. But she a rather pressing mission, and time is running out.

"I will be back before you know it," she grins, "I love you Maura" she places a gentle loving kiss on the corner of Maura's mouth. Maura is almost asleep again and lets her go murmuring, "Me too."

"Don't touch me you asshole" she growled stepping backwards out of his reach and moving closer to the doorway. She could barely stand to be in the same room with him let alone having his filthy slimy fingers anywhere near her.

"I don't know anything about you. I...I don't know what you want" he tries again this time keeping his hands close to himself

Jane glared at him, "Good. Now you know what it feels like to loose all control. To not know if you'll live or die and why. Shall I keep you forced into that unknown reality for four days like you did to me?"

"You have the wrong person. I didn't do anything."

Jane looks him up and down as he sits in his fancy leather office chair at his expensive mahogany desk in his expensive suit and shoes with his fancy gold name plaque on the desk and his title on the door. He looks perplexed, mainly he can't figure out how she got past security into his office undetected but he will make sure heads roll.

"You authorize special intelligence operations. Supposedly, you're the 'go-to-guy' around here." She states it in a matter of fact way using her fingers to air quote 'go-to-guy'. It isn't really a question but he is unwilling to comment anyway, he stares at her trying to figure out her agenda. He can tell she's not afraid by her body language, she leans against the wall in all her confidence. Dressed in black steel capped boots and cargo pants, black gloves and a cap that shadows most of her face and a loose black button up shirt with a tank top underneath. He initially guesses military, maybe the wife of a disgruntled veteran, or a widower that wasn't told of her husbands death. She has her wrists wrapped with black tape and streaks of black face paint on her cheeks and forehead like she's just come from a spectator sports match or army training which confuses him more. Her black curly hair falling around her face and over her shoulders like a waterfall and a utility belt that looks rather healthy with unknown supplies. Her face is calm as she sizes him up vigilantly. He starts to squirm as her dark brown eyes seemingly pierce intrusively into the darkest part of his mind.

"What do you want?" He finally asks annoyed, finding the tension unbearable.

Jane unfolds her arms and walks directly towards him stopping where the desk refuses her passage. She spreads her fingers placing her palms on the centre of the desk and leaning forward until her nose was only inches from his, breathing out slowly, taking her time. He doesn't shy away, refuses to give up any perceived power but keeping distance and eye contact. Trying to hide that his neck and palms are perspiring.

She wasn't afraid of him, he was just a mouthpiece, he was a words man, he couldn't fight her, stop her from hurting him, Hhs sword was a pen, his power the wave of his hand, he was second in command in the senators office, he was the deputy secretary and a professional desk jockey, or at least his cover was...who knows what his true title might be.

"For starters" Jane growls, "I want you to strip."

His mouth drops open and his eyes dart around the room. She doesn't appear armed but this is certainly no prank.

He snickers at the absurdity and Jane leans even closer, he holds his breath afraid any sudden movements might be too much for his already pounding heart, he isn't sure he can keep up his fearless facade much longer. In one quick move Jane grasps his silk stripped tie pulling it straight down onto the desk lurching him facedown with it until he is almost able to kiss her hand...her other hand pulls out a very sharp boning knife from her belt sheath and deftly stabs his tie into the desk centimeters from her own hand.

"Fuck" he breathes in surprise at the knife that is inches from his face embedded about 10 millimeters into the solid wood, wondering momentarily if he will require a new pair of underpants. Jane stands up straight smiling and crosses her arms, "Strip" she demands calmly.

He loosens his tie not taking his eyes off Jane and slips it over his head leaving it attached to his desk. Then removes his shirt, undershirt, shoes and pants. He looks over Jane's shoulder again hoping some staff member is miraculously working at 2am in the morning or a cleaner that will interrupt this insanity. The whole floor is empty. He reaches down to remove his boxer shorts

"Stop" She barks, "Eww, damn, that's enough." She removes the knife wedged into his desk by wiggling it side to side. "Sit." He does, the leather chair squeaking with the friction of his bare skin.

"Kick your clothes away" she demands and he again silently complies.

Jane takes out her phone, quickly snapping a few pictures of the man in only his boxers and socks. Then she moves around the back of the chair behind him so he can't see her face "Where are all the confidential files you have on operations in Boston?"

The man scoffs, "There are hundreds, they're archived. You'll never get to them."

Jane moves the knife and rests it on his shoulder, the light shimmering off the blade out the corner of his eye.

She leans towards his ear, "The ones you have here will do"

He looks towards his right at the bank of filing cabinets, the latest classified documents for official eyes only, it takes him only a moment to contemplate and decide the best course of action, "You're a dead woman, they will come after you and murder you and everyone you know and everyone you care about."

"And you'll be a dead man in about 30 seconds if you don't unlock those, and that-" she retorts pointing the tip of the blade towards the top drawer of his office desk.

"You won't get away with this you bitch" he snarls despite feeling the stinging sensation of the edge of the blade digging into his shoulder.

"Are you going to stop me?" Jane laughs her voice dropping an octave lower, "Last chance slimebag"...

...to be continued...

I do love the comments. I do feel a little sad when I don't get them (I know...weird), they really do inspire me. So thank you to those that comment, and follow. (Sorry if it is to conspirational for a few of you...if you find this story too much then definitely don't check into whether or not i'm making any of it up. :/ )