Hello, thank you for those who have followed this story already. I only uploaded the first chapter a few hours ago and I already want to write another chapter, so here I am. I do hope you enjoy – I know I love a bit of Mr Grey….

Chapter two – Empty.

The sun is too bright. It's 7am- ugh! I roll over and notice that my husband is nowhere to be seen. I frown. I stretch my limbs, the ache is still there but I can feel myself healing – mentally, I have a long way to go. I've been told not to return to work for the next week, but honestly I don't want to sit around and wait for Christian to finish work. I take a deep breath and head to the shower. I continue to get ready for my day, finding that trusty plum dress that once belonged to Kate and paired them with some black boots. I looked good. I felt like shit.
I walked down into the kitchen where Christian was sat on a bar stool reading the newspaper. He looks up when he see's me, puzzled.
"And where are you going Mrs Grey?" eyebrows cocked.
"Work. I can't stay here all day why you go out and run the world Christian. I've already taken too much time off and… I just want to get back into a routine". I want to forget everything that's happened. Maybe if I go back to work I can at least forget blip for a while. He smirks at me and then I notice that he is in his pj bottoms.
"You're not going to work?" I question and I get a little excited that he might be staying with me.
"Oh no Mrs Grey, I'm not leaving you alone to get into trouble. I have left everything in the trusty hands of Ros. I am yours, baby". I smile. He looks so god damn handsome. I can see his abs through his tight t-shirt. He looks wonderful. A sensual spot downstairs awakens and I feel as if my libido has awoken from it's week slumber.
"I'm going to shower and then I will spend some time with my ever so special wife". Oh, I have this urge to stalk him to the shower room.
I start to follow and he turns to me.
"No Ana. Not now. It's too soon, isn't it?" Is it? Yes, yes he is right. I think about him touching my belly and I want to recoil to this imaginary touch. I look down at the floor hoping that this phase doesn't stick around too long.
I head back to the breakfast bar and notice whilst I was gawking, Mrs Jones had prepared me dinner. Bacon and Pancakes. I really had no appetite. I don't want food, but I know if I leave it there Mr fifty will come after me regardless of what state I am in.
I start picking up the bacon and chew on it slowly. The taste isn't inviting but I shovel it in anyway.
Christian comes back into the kitchen wearing a black tight t-shirts and black jeans. He looks sensational.
"So, if we are not working today. What are we going to do?" I ask.
"Hmm, Mrs Grey- I think we should take a visit to our house. See how Elliott is getting on". I feel nervous going to that house. It was going to be a family home and now, little blip.. I stop the thought crossing my mind and hold back the tears. I can be strong.

The drive doesn't take us long in the R8. Taylor stayed back at the apartment under Christian's demands. He wanted it to just be us two today – I mean, there is no more Hyde on the loose, so – hey, we're safe now right?
The house has come along really well. After the chit chat with Elliott and the embarrassing crowning of the hard hats, Christian and I had a look around. Gia's idea for the glass wall has been put into place and I hate to say it but it looks spectacular. The staircase spirals upstairs and I can see the detail in the railings. I's just beautiful. Christian is watching me the whole time. I'm sure he's trying to watch my reactions to make sure I love everything.
"Let's go have a picnic, yes?" he asks me and I think the idea is wonderful. We haven't had sex since I've been home from the hospital even though it pains him. It's how he knows we are okay. I tried to let him touch me but I shuddered and he understood. "Ana, it's a feeling I know too well" he winks "remember?". And I felt this pain of guilt for giving him pressure before to letting me touch him.
Christian led me down the field and placed the blanket on the floor. I stare around and get a really weird uncomfortable feeling here.
Christian lays out the cheese, wine and bread. My oh my, Mrs Jones does make a good picnic.
He gives me my favourite fifty smile and pops the bottle of wine and pours us both a glass.
I take a sip. It's cool and tastes wonderful.
I look around the field once more, wondering why I have this feeling to run. My mind is slowly starting to freak out and I can hear my breathing getting faster.
"You okay Ana?" Christian asks and I turn back to him and smile.
"Yeah, the air feels so good out here". I lie. Something isn't right. Why do I feel this anxious..

and then it clicks. My dream. This is where blip was. This is where I found him. My lost baby.
I stood up from the grass and started to run down the bottom of the field, ignoring any pain that my body gives off. My ribs are killing me as I breathe faster. I can feel my legs straining under the run. I can hear the swoosh of the tall grass as Christian trails after me.
"ANA!" he shouts but I don't stop and keep going till I reach the bottom. I don't know what I expected to find at the bottom. A baby? My lost blip. But all I know is this surge of pain is too much. I stare at the edge of the field, it's just a mound of mud slowly fading into the river in front. I fall down to my knees ignoring the pain in my body. Christian's arms are all over me in a nano second.
"Baby, please what's going on? What are you thinking. Ana, please – please talk to me". He's scared really fucking scared and I am too.
I turn to him and his gray eyes burn into mine.
"I.. I had a dream and Blip was here" I looked down at the ground. I flushed a little embarrassed for telling him my dream. For telling him my nickname for the baby we will never meet.
"Blip?" he asks confused. Oh Christian.

"Our baby. I saw him. He was a little boy. Like you." I sob "he was here. But he didn't move. I couldn't save him".
Christian sighed and pulled me into his arms.
"Ana, I think we need to see Flynn. I'm so worried about you. I hear you at night crying in your sleep. I feel so helpless".
Oh my fifty shades. You are helping me just by being there. I'm sorry, I said I was strong – for both of us but this, this is too much.
"Okay" I whisper not knowing what Dr fucking Flynn could do to take away this feeling.

Christian picks me up and carries me back to the car, ignoring our picnic. He drives me home and phones Flynn for an appointment. Who would have thought I would become the patient?
I saved Fifty and now it's Fifties time to save me. But can he? Can he fill this void I have in my chest. I know he loves me and I him. But for a few days I had someone else to love too and it was parts of me and him. Everything was going to be perfect. My lost boy and his son/daughter. Blip would have been the missing piece.

When we are back at Escala, Christian lays me on the bed and stares into my soul. He touches my face and I close my eyes and ravish in his touch. Only here. I only want it here.
Then a thought crossed my mind. We never spoke about that evening.
"How did you find me?" and I break him from whatever thoughts he was having.
"Find you?"
"Y'know – When I went to Jack. Did you track my cell?". I ask, arms propped up on the pillows. Christian led beside me, ready to withdraw information.
"yes". And I smiled. I knew he would be.
"I knew you would. That's why I borrowed Whelans cell and got Elizabeth to destroy that one. My blackberry was in the duffle bag, so you could trace your money".
"Our money" he intervenes and I roll my eyes.
"I was scared" I admitted. "I knew he kicked me hard but I never thought"..
"Ana, please don't blame yourself".
"I feel empty".
"Baby, we need time. You need time. It wont ever go away – I know Ana. But it might get easier. I love you Anastasia Grey. Please, please don't drift away from me. I need you".

No Christian, I need you. More than you know.
"I love you two, more than anything. I'll see Flynn. I'll try. I just need time". Yes, I need time. I will get through this. I have my fifty shades by my side and he is all I need. He kisses me on the lips and my inner-goddess awakens again. No, back down, I mentally shout.
"I miss being with you" Christian admits and my heart hurts for him. We are always so intimate but I've recoiled a lot recently.
"Time" I speak and place a kiss on his cheek. "But I love you Mr Grey, remember that".