Thanks to NaNoWriMo, updates may be postponed a little. But we'll see. If any readers are participating, let me know!
DJ
Getting drunk: Debbie
Fall was setting in and that meant school was starting up again. Well, for those lucky kids who didn't have an infant to care for. I was sitting on my own on the swings in the park. Except I wasn't alone because like always, I had Sarah with me.
"Shouldn't you be pushing her on a swing?"
I looked up and grinned at Jas as she approached. "Oh very funny."
I glanced to my left and caught sight of Edna. "Shouldn't be allowed in a park that!" I shouted at her.
"Are you talking to me, young lady?" She asked, indignantly as she cleaned up the crap her little dog had left behind.
"There's germs in dog poo." I reminded her.
"Oi, don't give her a hard time." Jasmine said, loud enough for Edna to hear.
Edna scooped up her annoying little dog and flounced off in a huff as Jas and I laughed.
Jasmine sat herself down on the swing next to me, still chuckling.
I'd been spending more and more time with Jasmine of late. More time even than I spent with Daz. We'd become quite a trio, taking trips into Hotten to mess around the shops and wandering around the village looking for some fun. Once she learned how to come out of her books a little, she actually wasn't a total bore. We liked the same music and I was rapidly introducing her to the world of Cosmo and Fashion. Girl world. She'd begun to laugh more often, as had I. Usually I didn't understand half the words she used on a daily basis but I did enjoy her stories about living at the vicarage and going to boarding school. It was nice to have a friend to share troubles with.
I'd really started to enjoy her company. Which was odd because usually other girls tended to piss me off.
"It'll be rubbish when you go back to school." Jasmine said as we swung gently.
"Yeah, if I go." I complained."Can you believe my dad doesn't want to send me packing off to school?" For some reason, dad thought my time would be better spent the same way it had been this summer: pushing a bugger around.
Her face fell slightly. "You lucky thing." She muttered, for once not sounding sarcastic.
"For the first time in my life I want to go and he won't let me." I explained. I jerked my head at Sarah in the bugger. "I'm bored of just hanging about pushing her around." It was a thankless, emotionless job, pushing Sarah around. Perhaps if I didn't feel so envious of her, perhaps if I loved her like a mother should, it would be easier.
"Oh don't, she's lovely." Jasmine said, using that same tone of voice everyone used when chastising me for talking about my baby.
"Yeah but I can't do anything!" I exclaimed, frustrated she couldn't sympathize with me. "I 'eint even got any money. If I did I'd go get some booze and get slaughtered." That would be great right now actually; a lot of booze. Enough to make the day a little more interesting.
Jasmine appeared to be considering something. "You know, I've just been paid by Steph." She finally said.
I stopped the swing. "What are we waitin' for?" I shouted.
"They won't serve us!" Jasmine pointed out.
Oh Jas, how little you know. "Leave it to me." I stood up. "You push her if you want." I said gesturing to Sarah.
I led the way back into town, Jasmine following me with the bugger. She looked so comfortable pushing it and every so often I would catch her smiling at Sarah.
It sent a deep ache through me. Why was it every other woman in the world was able to love my daughter except me?
"Right, give me some money." I told Jasmine as we approached the garage.
"What?" She asked, seeming confused.
"For the drink." I said slowly.
She pulled a fold of bills from her pocket. "Where from?"
"Just give it to me." I snatched it from her and walked away. "Look after her." I called over my shoulder.
Rob was outside. My dad was nowhere in sight. Hopefully he was off on a call.
"Hi." I called to get Rob's attention. He turned around and greeted me with a smile. I returned it. So far so good.
Rob glanced back towards where Jasmine was pushing the bugger. "You given the baby away then?" He teased.
The joke sent a strange chill through me that I did my best to ignore. "Very funny." I thought about it every day. "Get us some booze from the shop will ya?"
"I'm not made of money." He told me.
I waved Jas's money. "I've got money."
He glanced at it. "Well I'm busy." He countered.
He should have known better. I wasn't going to let his excuses stop me. "Oh come on. You reckon we're mates."
He raised an eyebrow. "Well supposen someone found out I got it for you?"
"Oh don't be such a wus, who's going to tell the police?"
"Hell, it's not them I'm worried about," he told me, "it's your lot."
"Well I'm not gonna blab am I?" I couldn't speak for Jasmine but none of the other Dingles went anywhere near the vicarage unless on their way to the pub so I figured we'd be pretty safe there too. "Please Rob, you're the only one 'round here that don't treat me like a kid."
That got him. With a grin, Rob took the money and walked off.
I smirked at his retreating back. Too easy.
Rob got us the booze. I knew he would. Jasmine took a large sip, grimacing a little. "So how did you persuade Robert to get it?" She asked me as she passed me the bottle.
"He fancies me." I replied with a grin. We were sitting on a bench back in the park. Daz was kicking a ball around with his friend off to the side.
"I would have thought you'd have had enough of boys…" Jasmine said, glancing at Sarah.
"What're you trying to say?" I asked. Was she seriously asking if I was inclined to swing the other way? I liked Rob well enough, the only reason I wasn't going for it was because he'd said we should stay friends to keep my dad happy. It wasn't everyday you found someone willing to accept that you were 16 and already had a kid to care for. Becoming a lesbian was definitely not a solution I had in mind. Girls were too uptight. I didn't get on well with any of them. Well, except perhaps Jasmine.
"…Right, if I tell you something, you promise not to laugh?" Jasmine asked. Suddenly she looked timid. She fingered the back of the bench and refused to meet my eyes.
I was intrigued. This would be good. "Go on then." I said noncommittally. I wasn't going to promise not to laugh, this could be side-splitting. I raised the booze to my lips and took a long sip.
Jasmine paused for a second, her tongue in her cheek. "I've never had a boyfriend." She finally admitted.
I choked as the laugh burst from my throat. I'd been expecting this but hearing it said was another thing altogether.
"Oi! You promised!" Jasmine said, sounding hurt.
"I didn't!" I reminded her cheekily. "Why not?" Jas was definitely pretty enough and smart enough. She should have blokes knocking her door down by now.
She shrugged, "I dunno, just boarding school and movin' round all the time…" She still sounded unsure and even a little uncomfortable telling me this. Must've been the booze loosening her restrictions.
"So you've never even been kissed?" I asked matter-of-factly.
She looked up at me shyly, then averted her gaze confirming my suspicions. Then again, I'd guess that from the moment we first met. She was too shy, too careful to snog a bloke.
I glanced around and my eyes settled on Daz. The booze was affecting my thoughts and it quickly came up with a devilish scheme.
"Oi, Daz!" I called.
He looked up and started to make his way towards us.
"What're you doing?" Jasmine hissed at me.
"Ohh, look at you getting a blush!" I giggled.
"She's got something to ask you." I told Daz when he reached us.
"Give me a break…" Jasmine muttered. She was sitting on her hands now. It was something she did when she was uncomfortable but I didn't care. She needed this.
"That's what I'm doing!" I assured her. She tensed up.
"Well go on," Daz said. "Tell us."
"She wants to be snogged by a hunk." I told Daz as Jasmine shifted uncomfortably.
"Me?" Daz asked, sounding surprised and pleased. He fancied Jas. I knew it!
"Well it's the best offer she's gonna get!"
"You're embarrassing him!" Jasmine hissed at me.
"I'm not embarrassed." Daz assured her. "Why would I be embarrassed?"
I giggled. "Because you've had as many snogs as her zilcho!" I said, giving Jasmine a slap on the arm. She rubbed the spot, tensing up even more.
"I've kissed loads of girls!" Daz reproached me.
"Oh whatever," I said. I tilted my head at Jas. "Show her how it's done then!"
Daz suddenly looked uncomfortable. He looked down at Jasmine. She wouldn't look at him.
"Not with you looking!" Jasmine said indignantly.
"Right, fine I'll turn me back! Just get on with it!" I made show of twisting my torso and head away from them but keeping my legs in the same place.
Whether Jasmine might've kissed Daz or not, we never found out. Edna stormed up to us at that point, making a fuss and threatening to call the police so we picked ourselves up and left.
We headed over to the cricket pavilion instead, deciding we'd be much less likely to be spotted there. Daz left us to go do whatever it was Andy needed from him, so Jas and I kept drinking and talking about boys. The boys at boarding school were a bit thick, Jasmine told me. They were only interested in acting like pricks and feeling girls up. None of them was any deeper than that. Her speech was beginning to slur and she seemed to have a permanent silly grin on her face from the booze. She actually got very loose and expressive when she was drunk. She even tickled me at one point. I would have retaliated but the action upset the booze and we both fumbled to save it. Instead her little attack went un-retaliated. But I found I didn't mind at all. I rather liked Jasmine like this actually. It was nice not to see her shoulders pulled up and her head pulled into her shell. This was like watching her rip the shell off and dance naked.
Boy does booze give me odd thoughts…
Eventually the booze ran out and I realized I'd better be getting home. Sarah was going to need dinner soon.
I walked home, the road slipping and sliding a bit. The bugger seemed to be swerving of its own accord. Getting through the door was a challenge.
"'ello!" I called as I plopped down on the couch.
"Where've you been?" Dad asked, swallowing the last of his beer.
I crossed my arms over my chest. "Out." I pouted.
Inevitably, a yelling followed dad finding out I'd been drinking. Like he was one to talk, he could hardly go one day without being legless. Sometimes I had to wonder if it was his fault I was stupid.
As usual, Emily came to my aid.
"Maybe if Debbie was back at school…" She suggested as she gently bounced Sarah up and down.
It took some persuasion but dad finally agreed.
"Don't go thinking, you've got one up on me." He snapped at Emily after the decision was made.
"Well it was never about that." Emily said with a smile. "I think you've made the right decision."
"Like I need your seal of approval…" He muttered before standing up and storming upstairs.
I shared a grin with Emily.
I was going back to school!