A.N: This chapter will feature both of the girls as it is a huge turning point in their relationship (and I have not been giving Jasmine nearly enough love lately).

Don't come looking for me: Jasmine & Debbie

DJ

Jasmine

One of the best things about being stuck in Emmerdale was that it was small. It wasn't particularly hard to find anyone. Of course, this was also bad because when something happened, everyone found out practically the moment it happened. It was like school only twice as fast.

"Somebody help! Please!"

I whirled around to see Daz crashing into the Woolpack, tears streaming down his face. We were all gathered to celebrate Sarah's christening. Debs and Emily had taken Sarah home to change her out of her gown and feed her. They'd been gone only twenty minutes.

"What's wrong?" Lisa asked Daz as he nearly crashed into the assembled Dingles.

Daz was panting hard and sobbing. "It's Sarah!" Everyone immediately shut up and snapped their focus to him.

"No Daz, don't!" Debbie had come in right behind him and grabbed him roughly, trying to pull him away.

"Get off me!" Daz shouted at her, ripping his arm free.

"What's going on?" Jack demanded.

"He's lying!" Debbie said quickly.

"She's given her away!" Daz sobbed as Debbie shouted at him to shut up. "Emily's got 'er."

"Don't be silly…" Lisa chastised him.

"ASK HER!" Daz roared, gesturing at Debbie.

The pub fell eerily silent.

"Debbie?" Lisa finally asked.

The answer was plain on Debbie's face.

Cain Dingle's face was one of pure rage. "You evil little cow, where is she?" He shouted, charging at her. Jack quickly stepped in the way.

The next two minutes were a tension-filled restraining of Debbie's father to prevent him from attacking Debbie and quick organization of the Sudgen and Dingle men in a search effort. By the time they left the pub, Debbie's eyes were watering noticeably.

I took that opportunity to approach her as the remaining celebrators drifted away from her like she was the devil incarnate, whispering and throwing sideways glances her way.

"Debs?" She turned to me but didn't really seem to be looking at me. She drew a shaky breath.

I didn't say a word, I just took her gently by the arm and pulled her over to the furthest corner of the bar, away from everyone. She didn't resist but I could see her struggling to hold back tears. Several seconds later, she shook herself, took several deep breaths and her face smoothed over.

Debbie's stoic face didn't fool me in the slightest. She was trying to make everyone think she didn't care. But that was how I knew she was falling apart inside.

I felt like I should comfort her in some way. Let her know I was there for her. But it was difficult. Could I really offer her comfort right now? Did she even want it or would she push me away to maintain her un-caring image? There was no way to know with Debbie. Not right now.

So I settled for just standing by her side, silently giving her companionship.

I'd known Debbie was struggling, that much was obvious in her actions and the haunted look in her eyes. I hadn't seen her smile since before I'd left in September. I felt kind of guilty about not spending a lot of time with her since I'd returned on account of Uncle Ashley and Grandpa's stupid feud.

With the christening approaching, I'd been trying all week to get her to talk to me. To tell me why she was so desperate to distance herself from her baby. Finally, last night my attempts had paid off. Debbie had admitted that she wished Sarah had never been born. Not because she hated her but, rather because she loved her and wanted her to have a better life.

But I'd never guessed that this was what she'd been planning instead.

DJ

Debbie

It was all just so unreal.

I sat quietly across from Jasmine at the table. She'd taken me to the café to get away from everyone after one heated conversation too many but it still felt like I was in the Woolpack. Surrounded by their stares, their judgment.

It had just been me and Jas in the furthest corner of the bar, me awkwardly making eye contact with people across the room and fighting back tears while Jas stood by my side seeming unsure if she should stay or not. Occasionally, she'd mutter a few words to me, either small comforts or assurances that it would all blow over eventually. I responded only with small nods. I didn't trust my voice not to crack if I spoke.

I wanted her to stay. Without her at my side, I would have fallen apart in three seconds flat. Having her by my side made it possible to keep my head up.

Everyone else had crowded as far away from us as humanly possible in the pub.

This wasn't the way it was supposed to go. I'd hoped everyone would have had a chance to party a bit, get a little plastered before my actions were discovered. Daz had gone and majorly cocked that up.

There had been an air of stunned silence in the room as people talked quietly in small groups. Muttering about me. About how any decent human could do what I had done.

Any decent human being would have done what I had done.

I don't remember exactly when I decided that Emily would be the one to take Sarah away. She had just always been there when I needed her, and even when I didn't. Emily cared deeply for Sarah and she wasn't even related to her. For the longest time, Emily had been Sarah's mum, not me. She had given Sarah a gentle caregiver, someone who would never raise a hand against her or manipulate her for personal gain.

The moment I became desperate was the day I found dad pinning Emily against the wall by the throat, Sarah cradled in her arms.

Living with my dad was like holding a lit stick of dynamite and praying it wouldn't explode.

I had to get Sarah away. This wasn't the kind of life she deserved.

"So that's my present to you…" I'd told my daughter as I kissed her goodbye barely two hours ago. "A new mum for Sarah. All little girls need a lovely mum…"

She'd started to cry as I tucked her into the carrier. Like she knew she was losing me forever.

"And you mustn't ever look for me, yeah? Cause it all hurts too much…"

Only now that she was gone, I found myself missing her.

I picked up a napkin from the table and began to shred it. I'd done the right thing, right? I was giving her a better life. A happier life. Emily would care for her, love her and make sure she always came first.

I just hoped I'd never have to see her again. She deserved a much better mum than I could ever be.

Jasmine gently stilled my hands.

"Just let me talk to Ashley." She said, holding my hands tightly, not caring at all about the confetti-like pieces of napkin caught between our fingers. "He won't leave you out in the cold."

"But he still hates me for what I've done."

Jasmine gave me a look. "Debbie, just give me a chance. What're going to do? Sleep in the shed?"

I pulled my hand out from under hers. I was quiet, I was done defending my actions.

Everyone had had something to say to me. Their words all kept echoing endlessly in my head…

"You don't have to explain yourself to me." Jasmine had assured me in a stiff voice.

Even Alice…sweet Alice had gone off on me. "She needs to know how selfish and cruel she is!" And I'd snapped right back, making Alice cry and slap me and effectively ruin my chances of anyone ever having anything akin to sympathy for me again.

And then there was Lisa. Lisa's horrible words as I'd put on the selfish brat face to try to defend my actions to her. "One day, you're gonna realize what you've done…and I hope you're on your own, with no one to turn to. Because then you'll know what pain is like. It's like havin' your heart ripped out. And that's what you deserve."

And then there were those who hadn't said a word and still hurt me beyond repair. Daz hadn't looked at me all night. Chas kept shooting me odd looks from across the room. But it didn't take words for me to know what they thought of me.

Not long after Lisa said her bit, Jasmine had brought me here to the café, bought me a coffee and tried to get me to talk again. It sat in front of me on the table, untouched and rapidly cooling. She was playing for time I knew. Stalling, trying to get me to stick around instead of running off. She wanted to try to talk to Ashley.

"Ashley'll let you stay." Jasmine said quietly, catching my attention again.

I shook my head. "No he wont. That's what I've been tryin' to say, Jas. Everyone thinks I'm the worst person on Earth right now. They'd all rather I died of frostbite then let me kip on their couch. No one wants me."

Jasmine's eyes flared briefly. She practically lunged across the table to seize my hand again. "I want you." She told me, so serious that it startled even her I think. "I'm not going to let you cast yourself out like this."

I looked down at our hands, where Jasmine was gripping me rather tightly. She followed my gaze and abruptly let go, wrapping her hands around her mug.

I picked up my own and took a sip, even though it was too cold to be considered a drink anymore. But it would keep me from having to respond to that.

I hadn't been seeing much of Jas since she got back. She'd been spending a lot of time with her grandfather and arguing with her uncle. I got the details from Daz mostly. Jasmine seemed to speak to him more than she did to me these days. Jasmine was trying to clear up some kind of hatred that was happening between her uncle and grandfather and anxiously watching the days of her vacation slipping by.

She was going to leave again soon. I found I couldn't think about that right now. Just the thought of Jasmine leaving me again made me feel sick.

Jasmine looked up from her tea, like she wanted to say something but she caught me staring and our gazes locked. We both just stared at each other for a few seconds, eyes never breaking contact. I was stroking the mug in my hand absently, unable to look away from her. She was completely still, gazing at me like I was a book and she was lost in its pages. I wondered if she liked what she was reading.

Finally, the door behind me opened and whoever entered the café caught Jasmine's attention. She straightened up and gave me a pointed look. I turned, still clutching my cold mug and saw the vicar enter the café.

"I'd better go…" I said quickly, putting my mug down and preparing for a quick departure.

"No…" Jasmine said sternly, so much so that I actually paused. "Leave it to me." She whispered as Ashley approached.

He looked between us, his eyes lingering on me just a second too long. "You wanted to ask me something?" He addressed Jasmine, sounding tired.

Jasmine indicated me with her eyes as if trying to subtly remind Ashley that I was there. "I've said Debbie can come round to ours." She began. "She's got nowhere else to go! Lisa doesn't want her!"

"Are you surprised?" Ashley asked, like I wasn't even there.

"I've told her she can stay the night." Jasmine said quickly.

Ashley scoffed. "Oh really?"

I wasn't going to sit here and take this. This was humiliating. "Forget it Jas." I stood and pushed past Ashley. "You're just like all the rest." I told him. He didn't want me, he'd never think well of me again.

"Debs, don't go!" Jas pleaded. I kept walking, determined not to let her save me. I didn't deserve their pity.

"Did I say you couldn't?" Ashley asked me loudly.

I paused, waiting. He was actually going to take me in? Perhaps the vicar did have a good heart. "You don't want me there, though do ya?" I pointed out, determined not to let my gratefulness show.

Ashley turned to face me, his face set. "You've had a lot to say for yourself today." He told me in a gentle, low voice. "But do you for the next few minutes, you could actually listen?" I let him keep talking, by this time I was desensitized to all the 'advice' people wanted to shove down my throat.

"I don't understand what you've done." Ashley began, still speaking so lowly that only I could hear. "I don't like it, and I'd never have done it myself. But, I'm not going to throw you onto the street."

Well at least that was civil. "Thanks." I said, touched by his restraint.

"Be in no doubt," He continued, in a much deeper voice like the kind he used in church when delivering a sermon I was sure. "there will be consequences from what you did today. You hurt people, and changed their lives. Maybe forever. And whatever happens, you'll have to live with it. For the rest of your life." He paused, as if that delivery had just taken a lot out of him. "See you later." He left the shop, leaving me alone with Jas and the heavy words he'd just laid on my shoulders.

I suppose advice from a vicar would be the advice that hits home hardest. After all, it's his job.

DJ

A little while later, we'd finally retreated back to Jasmine's room. Laurel had offered Jas and me tea and biscuits but refused to meet my gaze when she did so.

"You see why I couldn't tell anybody?" I asked Jas, breaking my silence for the first time since leaving the café. Now that we were alone, away from prying eyes and listening ears, I was starting to fall apart. Everything was hitting me all at once. I was sitting on Jasmine's bed, she was in her desk chair. "There was no one I could talk to, the only person who would listen was Emily!"

"You can talk to me." Jasmine told me gently, moving to sit next to me on the bed.

"Do you understand why I gave Sarah away?" I asked.

She gave a small shrug and shook her head. "How can I? I've never been in your situation. But I'm not gonna judge you." I sniffed, a tear escaping and running down my cheek. Jasmine locked eyes with me again."You did what you thought was best. That's good enough for me."

I sincerely hoped she never would be in a situation even remotely similar to mine. I also hoped more people would come to think the way Jas did.

"But what if they bring her back?" I asked, terrified of that scenario. "I'll have to give her away and I wont know who'll bring her up!"

Jasmine quickly took my hand again. "That might never happen." She assured me.

"But what if it does," I burst out. "what's gonna happen to Emily?" Oh god, Emily's life would be ruined. She'd go to jail, she'd never be able to work in foster care again. Was there anyone who's life I wasn't ruining with this decision? Yes, I reminded myself. Sarah's life. I'd done this for her, to hell with everyone else. "They're trying to make out like I'm some kind of monster but I'm not." I sobbed, tears gathering in my eyes. "I do care about Sarah and that's why I gave her to Em."

Jasmine grabbed my other hand, her thumbs softly stroking. "It's okay…" She whispered.

My heart felt like it was beating its last and wanted nothing more than to die as painfully as possible. "I want her to have a better life."

"And she will." Jasmine told me. "You've done the right thing."

I shook my head pathetically. "Then why do I feel so terrible?" I'd never opened up like this to anyone. I felt pathetic, vulnerable sitting here staring into Jasmine's eyes.

Jasmine looked at me for a long time. Then finally, after what must have been an intense inner dilemma, she opened her arms to me.

I hesitated. I didn't like hugs. I didn't like any kind of contact. Letting someone in like that was only a guarantee that they would hurt you.

But…Jas?

Here was what I'd been looking for all along. Someone to listen. Someone who would just shut up and hear me out. Jasmine wouldn't judge me, wouldn't think any less of me.

I felt my lower lip start to quiver as Jasmine's gentle, caring gaze and wide open arms cracked a huge hole in my barrier.

Jasmine thought I was brave for doing this. Jasmine would support me. Deep down, all along I knew I could always trust her.

I let myself fall into her arms and cry. Just full on bawl and sob with my face buried in the sweater I'd lent her for today. Jasmine held me tight and rested her chin on my head. She said nothing else while I just cried and cried and finally let the pain of today catch up with me. Not caring at all that I was clinging to her, weeping all over her like a three-year old. I had no idea how long we sat there like that, Jasmine's warm, impossibly comforting embrace holding me tight, protecting me from the judgmental gaze of the rest of the world.

It felt so good to be held. It felt so good to have someone who would listen.

Who knew that spoiled, posh kid I'd hated so much when I first met her would become the only pillar left in my life in just a few short months of friendship?

It was just the two of us here. And that was all I needed.

A.N. I'm not sure…too soon on the romantic tension between our girls? I know it was kind of heavy in this chapter but I decided they needed a moment given how emotional Debbie is and how lonely Jasmine has been.