I completely forgot to update Friday! I do apologise, so I will update again tomorrow, that's a promise :D

So the long awaited kiss happened, then it all kind of went south as Dimitri went cold and left her hot and bothered. Now let's find out what's going on in Rose's head...

Rose

I was sitting like a zombie in a sun chair in the back garden. I had brought my computer with me and 'Pray you Catch Me' put me deep in thought. I was staring into nothing.

My parents had left for a day together at the mall. My dad needed to get a new closet apparently and my mother was eager to help. So it was just me, a big empty house and the hundreds of thoughts that milled around in my head.

After Dimitri had disappeared last night, I had stayed pinned against the wall for I don't know how long. It took everything within my not to burst into tears. Not to run after him and tell him that I'm sorry. Although I wasn't sure what exactly I was apologising for. It felt like the list was long. When I was little I said Sorry to people because I had once learned that it makes people feel better. But does it truly count when the person saying it, doesn't mean it?

Crossing my legs under me I leaned forward resting my elbows on my knees, burying my face in my hands. Exhaling heavily I wasn't sure where to start.

Should I try to talk to him? Although he was never good with opening up and when he did it was like yesterday. An outburst of emotion that could floor anyone. How would I even start? I'm sorry I left? I was wrong?

But what was I wrong about? Leaving? Or the fact that I never came back earlier? Or that I didn't fight like he said?

My head was pounding with the amount of questions I kept throwing at myself. How do you fix something that the person you want to fix it with, might not even want to talk to you? Or hear you out? It would probably just sound like another shitty excuse to him.

Chuckling humourlessly I leaned back in my chair, resting my arms on the arm rests and sigh "What a mess you've gotten yourself in Rosemarie Hathaway"

"Is that little Rosemarie Hathaway?"

Sitting up not being aware anyone was here I looked around confused. on the other side of the face stood a grinning Olena Belikov. I couldn't help but smile at the sight of her, she had been my second mother for so long, I hadn't see her for ages.

"Were you talking to yourself child?" Olena said amused with her infective smile written all over her. "Well come on, I deserve a hug after six years!" She said holding her arms out.

I chuckled getting out of my chair moving towards her. "I didn't know you were still eavesdropping on me" I teased, "Hello Olena" I greeted as I walked towards her. As I got close enough she tugged me close and held me tight in her arms. "Oh Lord has it been a long time since I've seen you" She said pulling back to look at me, "Are you eating? Is your mother feeding you? You're just skin and bones" she said frowning.

Wearing a pair of high waisted jean shorts and a baggy white linen shirt I wasn't very dressed but comfortable. The front bits of my hair was pulled back showing my hoops in my ears.

Chuckling I held onto both Olena's hands, "It's so good to see you"

"And you my love" she smiled in a way that only she could as she cupped my face. "You're just as beautiful as ever my darling"

If anyone could ever make me feel special, even beautiful it was Olena. And Dimitri at one time in my life of course.

"How you been?" I asked. He smiled was the most infectious smile in the world. Her hair had gone salty with strands of white going through them, but she still looked young for having four grown children. Wrinkles from smiling were showing but she had always been a very beautiful woman to me, just as I hoped to be when I grew old.

"Well I was just sorting lunch with the girls, come join us, I need to put some meat on those bones"

Shaking my head I smiled, "I'm a size 12 Olena, not a size Zero"

"No objections, you come eat" she said stubbornly and I couldn't help but laugh and nod. Walking around the fence I met her in their back garden. She had set the table out in the sunshine. It looked beautiful.

"Now give me a proper hug" she grinned. Taking her in my arms I couldn't help but feel a bit better. Olena had always been my second mother and she had that way about her that she always made you feel good, no matter what. I had definitely missed that over the last few years.

As we parted Olena shouted, "Karolina! Bring another plate out for us please, Rose is joining us"

Looking at the table I hadn't even thought of the face that Dimitri might be here. But seeing there was only four plates, I knew he wouldn't be here. Or I hoped. I wasn't ready to see him yet. Not without thinking through what I was going to say to him.

Karolina appeared in the door way with Sonya in her heels, "My oh my, is that really you Rose?" Karolina asked putting a plate down on the table. Smiling I walked over and gave her a hug, "You look stunning, you did before but seriously, how did you loose so much weight?"

"It took a couple of years and a lot of motivation" I said. What I wanted to say, "That's what heartbreak does to you!" But I didn't, I couldn't be nasty about him to his own family. I'd never do that.

Sonya gave me a side hug as she was holding a jug of something. "I'm so happy you're here, I've been meaning to pop over but I've been so busy with school"

"Me too so don't worry" I smiled.

"Right" Olena said putting loads of dishes down on the table, "I wasn't planning on you coming Rose but I'm quite sure I have enough to go around"

The table was packed with food, Olena was a Queen in the kitchen and she never failed to deliver. Chuckling I shook my head, "Well I don't know Olena, I still have quite the appetite"

She laughed, "You better, I've always loved that about you. Vika! Come on"

Viktoria appeared in the door way looked knackered, she must have just gotten out of bed. I grinned as I saw her. "Wow, somebody and a rough night"

She grinned, "I didn't know you were here" she came over and gave me a hug, "Where did you go last night? I didn't see you after you went dancing?"

"We'll talk later" I said brushing it off as we got seated by the table. I was sitting right next to Olena as we all started to dig in. Filling my plate I kept getting digs from all of them to leave some for the rest of them. What I've always loved about the Belikov sisters is that they had always been like my own. They were always honest with me, they weren't afraid to tease me or treat me any different then they did each other.

We were eating as Karolina was updating me on everything that had happened over the last six years. The Belikov sisters, that includes Olena, are known for their gossip. They know everything and they are constantly curious. I knew it could drive Dimitri mental sometimes. But it's what I loved about them.

I told them all about London, how my parents were doing and how strange it was to come back. "It must be strange huh?" Sonya agreed, "I mean going away for so long, coming back and everything is pretty much the same"

Shaking my head I popped a tomato in my mouth, "Only it isn't, everything is completely different, a lot changes in six years" I said. I could tell that my voice changed when I said that, and knowing them they knew why. I wouldn't have to say anything.

Trying to change subject, I went into dark waters, but I dared since Dimitri wasn't here, "So how's Ivan Viktoria?"

Her eyes stopped on me as she froze mid chew. She looked absolutely ridiculous so I could help but grin as she started to glare at me. Swallowing she started poking around her food trying to look casual as she said "He's good, you should know, you saw him yesterday"

"What about Ivan?" Olena said looking between Viktoria and I.

I shrugged coyly but I wasn't covering it up very well. Viktoria was glaring at me, "Nothing mom, Rose just thinks she's being funny"

"Wait, this is making me curious, what's this about?" Sonya asked grinning looking at me.

I sent her a wink, Sonya was amazing when you wanted to wind somebody up, she knew how to work it in her favour.

"You see Sonya, I was just curious how Ivan is these days, I thought I'd ask Viktoria because they seem like good friends" I said my voice being too obvious of what I was actually saying and Sonya laughed. "Does somebody have a crush on Ivan? Is that is Viktoria?"

"Shut up Sonya" Viktoria mumbled.

Olena snickered and shook her head, "Be nice to your sister" then she leaned over to Viktoria, "Although he is a very nice young man"

"Ma!" Viktoria moaned burying her face in her hands and I couldn't help but laugh. Viktoria will forever be the baby of this family and I don't think they will ever not tease her. I envied them all so much when I was younger, I luckily got to be a part of it all instead. But growing up as an only child I missed having siblings. That's why I think I got on with the Belikov's so well all the time. They were my second family.

Viktoria was sulking for a while until we left topic and Olena started retelling all the stupid things we got into as kids. There was the time we dared Karolina to climb to the top of the tree in my back garden but then she got too scared to climb down so my dad had to climb up there to help her down.

Then there was Viktoria who got these new glittery wellies she absolutely adored, so we decided to test them out. In the toilet.

We were all sitting there laughing in tears as we went on. I hadn't laughed this much in so long. It felt so amazing.

Karolina was then telling us about the time Sonya had forced Dimitri to dress up in all her dresses and do a fashion show for the rest of them. Bless him, he had always done what they wanted when they were younger. He was always such a sweet heart.

I felt a bitterness in the pit of my stomach. I missed this so much. All of us just sitting here until the early hours just laughing and enjoying each others company.

Biting my lower lip looked around taking in everything around me. The beautiful women around me, their smiles and laughter. Could I still keep them all even if I never patched things up with Dimitri? I didn't want to get in between them. But they didn't seem to mind me being here or being around, but then again Dimitri wasn't here now so would it change when he was? Would there be sides being taken?

As I was deep in thought they started clearing the table as Olena brought out tea's and coffee. I was munching on her amazing home made chocolate cookies as Paul suddenly appeared. My face lit up, he was a boy now! He was only a little toddler when I left.

Karolina grinned next to him, "Do you remember aunty Rose?"

"Yes, from the pictures?" He grinned pointing at me. She grinned nodding as he ran over as if he'd seen me just a few weeks ago. Throwing his arms around my neck I was caught off guard but I couldn't help but laugh. "Hello you, wow you're a big boy now aren't you! I was carrying you around the last time I saw you"

His grin was infectious. He noticed the chocolate cookies on the table and seemed contempt sitting on my lap as he was digging in.

It was actually really cozy. I knew I wasn't his real aunty, but it did warm my heart when Karolina said that, it truly did. It meant I was still apart of the family to them. There sadly wasn't a do over button, if there was I'm very sure I would have pushed it over and over again to be able to be apart of this more often.

Paul was in my lap giggling as Karolina was telling us about how he once glued all the plates to the dinner table and how frustrated Viktoria had gotten when she was hungover and couldn't lift her plate up.

I was shaking with laughter with Paul in my arms as he was talking so fast I only understood half of what he said. He was squirming and moving and gesturing with his hands. He was such an adorable boy, I felt like I couldn't get enough of him.

"What are you doing here?" The harsh voice of Dimitri cut the laughter and we all fell silent.

Not knowing how long he'd been standing there or where he came from, he had a half shocked half glare on his face as his eyes were firm on mine. I looked away, I wasn't able to look him straight in the eye, call me weak but after last night there was no way I could do that just yet.

Paul was the first to speak, lifting his arms in the air he happily yelled, "Dimitri!"

I moved so he could get down as he ran towards him, Dimitri picked him up out of habit but his expression didn't change until he looked over at him and said, "Hey you, you alright?"

He nodded happily, "Rose came for lunch today! I haven't seen her since I was a baby, did you know?"

As he was pursing his lips and his gaze moved back to me, I knew what he was thinking. I know Paul, neither have I.

Shaking my head I broke his gaze, I wasn't going to sit in this awkward silence pretending like nothings happened. Clearing my throat I got out of my chair, "I'm gonna head home" I smiled to Olena who was glaring at Dimitri. She turned taking my hand, "You don't have to leave sweetheart, you were here first"

"Ma!" Dimitri protested probably feeling betrayed by his own mother. I smiled at her, leaning over to kiss her cheek, "It's ok, it's not your fault your son left whatever manners he had left in 2010"

I could hear him huff at that, ignoring him I turned to his sisters, "Thank you for having me, I've really missed all of you" I smiled before heading towards Dimitri to leave. As I got close he didn't move and I didn't meet his gaze. As I wasn't going to give into his games I decided to jump over the fence like I did when I was younger.

"Rose" Dimitri sighed. I had no idea what he wanted to say or if he just wanted to look like he was trying in front of his family but all I said was "Nope" I wasn't going to get into this here. I was still confused from yesterday.

"Wait up!" Viktoria hollered as she followed. Jumping over the fence with Viktoria in my heels I took my phone out and sent a text to Tasha and Lissa,

"Girls night at mine, bring snacks"

Dimitri

As she was jumping over the fence I had the urge to go after her, but I didn't. Ivan was right behind me as I was just coming home to grab a few things that I had let Paul borrow. Seeing her sitting amongst my family like nothings ever happened had hit me like her fist last night. It was still sore but I wouldn't admit that to anyone but myself. I was surprised by the force her little form could bring.

My mother was sitting in silence glaring at me as she was drinking her coffee.

"Nice entrance jackass" Sonya said as she reached for another cookie. Usually Mama would tell her off for being rude but I guess I had pissed her off as well.

Ivan didn't care about the tension, he just walked past me, plonked down in a free chair and dug into a cookie. I followed, unwillingly sitting down in Rose's old chair with Paul in my lap. "Why did Aunty Rose leave?" Paul asked cluelessly as he was eating bits of his left overs.

"Because uncle Dimitri was being rude" Mama said truthfully smiling towards Paul before passing him a napkin.

Rolling my eyes I sighed as Paul turned, "Why were you being rude to Aunty Rose?"

I was biting my tongue as I wanted to correct him and say "She's not your Aunty" but I couldn't do that to him.

"I wasn't being rude" I said keeping calm, "I was surprised she was here"

"You were rude" Mama said giving me a look. "And what happened to your jaw?" She asked studying me.

"Ivan bumped into me with some weights at the gym" I used as my excuse but of course Ivan wouldn't join in on that. He huffed, "Yeah right, someone got fed a fist last night" He said looking over at Mama.

"You got into a fight?" She asked before hitting me in the back of my head.

"It wasn't really a fight it was R-" I elbowed Ivan hard so he couldn't finish that sentence. He was shooting me glares as I said, "Let's just say I deserved it and leave it at that"

But knowing my family, they would never let anything be.

Rose

Sitting in the living room, Tasha had brought popcorn and chocolate as Lissa brought wine. After finding my dad's gin stash I made some drinks for Tasha and I as Liss and Viktoria shared the wine.

They were all filling me in on what I missed last night. Lissa and Christian had pretty much just kept drinking before they went to the bathroom and I don't even want to know more. Viktoria kept talking about how funny Ivan is, denying that there was anything there but we all knew she was lying. I just wasn't sure what Ivan's intentions were. He is a great guy, but no offence, the guy cannot keep a girl for the life of him.

Tasha was super content sipping on her gin, lemonade and elderflower as she was retelling how the DJ from last night kept her coming all night long. Rolling my eyes I couldn't help but to feel jealous and it only brought flashbacks from yesterday.

Shivering I took the popcorn bowl from Lissa and stuffed my face. "So what happened to you yesterday?" she asked studying me, "You did your dramatic escape with Adrian and then I didn't see him. You didn't, you know, with him?" she asked cautiously.

I couldn't help but laugh, "No Liss, I didn't have sex with Adrian, he is still Gay as the Day is Long"

"So where did you go?" Tasha asked as they were all looking at me now. Pursing my lips I knew I was avoiding the subject.

Sighing I was poking around in the popcorn, "I was dancing with Adrian after I finished Dimitri's Vodka-"

"Which was an awesome moment" Tasha filled in grinning. Lissa was shaking her head as I continued, "And I might have gotten lost in the music and knowing he was looking I might have told Adrian to dance with me as if he was taking me home tonight"

"He as in Dimitri?" Viktoria asked to clarify.

"Well yes" Tasha said, "Then what happened?"

"He got pissed" I said with an annoyed look on my face. When I stayed silent for a while remembering him snapping in my face before I went off on him.

"Rose" Tasha said pulling the popcorn away from me, "Kind of leaving us hanging here"

Taking a sip of my drink, "Sorry, um, he was about to beat Adrian's face in, typical, and knowing Adrian he wouldn't last a minute, he left within a few seconds before we started going off on each other again. And then he, he uh, he kissed me" I said half mumbling the words as I was hiding my face pretending to scratch my eyebrow.

"He WHAT?" Tasha said as she pushed the popcorn bowl out of her lap as it went all over the floor. Clearly in shock. Lissa was coughing on her wine before sitting up straighter, "He kissed you?"

Licking my lips I nodded. I knew this was going to be a huge deal. It was, don't get me wrong but I knew Lissa especially wouldn't like it.

"So what, what happened?" Viktoria asked wide eyed.

I studied all thee of them before I started speaking again. "At first I pulled back and asked What the fuck he thinks he's doing? Then he just said You know as much as I do, you want this, don't fight it" Biting the inside of my cheek I swallowed before admitting, "And I couldn't. Before I know it I'm trapped between a wall and Dimitri and I'm so fucking caught up in the moment I have no idea what I'm doing"

Rubbing my hands over my face I lean back in my seat massaging my temples. Before either of them can say anything I continue and go into full rambling mode, "It's like a flashback to six years ago and there is no way I can control myself. It's like everything I remember of us, of him, is better than I could've ever imagined. Or like I'm a drug addict getting a hit after so long and it's the most turned on I've been in so fucking long! He moaning in my ear as he touching me in ways I've dreamt of since I left and then he just pulls away" I feel like I'm talking to myself but I know they can hear every single word that leave my lips.

"It was like someone dumped a bucket of ice cold water over him and he is backing away from me, like I'd burned him" I can feel the bitterness seeping into my voice. "Giving me all these shitty lines you hear in movies, I was just so angry and before I know it my fists connect with his jaw-"

"You Hit him?" Lissa gasps.

"Is that why he had a mark on his jaw?" Viktoria said gaping at me as I'm staring at the ceiling. For some reason I'm too embarrassed to look at either of my friends right now. I don't know if it is because I've just admitted to myself how much I've missed everything about him, or that I've just done it to my friends at the same time.

I continued, "I was screaming at him, It was like I had no filter, I pushed every button I could find and then he was screaming in my face" Stopping I felt a bit numb as I'm reliving last night. "I've never seen him that angry before"

Silence fell as my eyes were still staring into the ceiling. The way he had been punching the wall next to me as he'd shout, was still images fresh in my mind.

"What now?" Tasha asks carefully.

Shaking my head I didn't say a word for another few moments. I mumbled "I don't know"

"You can't possibly still love him after all he's done to you?" Lissa asked, her voice filled with ludicrous.

Frowning I look up to meet her gaze, "What does that mean?"

Her brows pulled together, "He has been nothing but nasty to you ever since you came back and what, now you're going to throw yourself at him again?"

"I didn't say that Liss, but I do still Love him and I think I always will" I said studying my best friend. I knew she didn't like him after all she's seen and all he's put me through. I would probably act the same way, but I couldn't help but feel that she was judging me.

"So what now?" she asks then raising her perfect brows at me.

"I don't know, I'm still frustrated and confused to what he did yesterday, I don't even get where that came from. But that doesn't mean I'm throwing myself at him again"

"I didn't mean to sounds like an ass Rose, I just, I don't want you to get hurt again" Lissa said with a slightly embarrassed look on her face.

"And I love you for that" I smiled taking her hand, "But you do have to bare in mind that me leaving is the reason why he is the way he is"

"Still no excuse" Viktoria huffed.

"True" I sighed, "But right now I'm doing nothing. I don't even know what I'm doing with my life, let alone my so called Love life"

I didn't know anything anymore and god fucking nows how this all ends.

Yay! Belikov moment, what do you guys think? Also how do we feel about the Viktoria/Ivan situation?

What do you think about Rose reasoning as Lissa is trying to protect/challenge her?

Lot's of Love x